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The October challenge was suggested by <lj user="00sevvie">:
<i>One of the things that gets repeatedly connected to Severus is the notion of bravery, and how courageous he is. So perhaps it might be interesting to take a look at the flip side of that, fear - explore what Severus might be afraid of, or how he would react to fear, etc.</i>
Therefore we have:
The October Challenge
Severus and his fears.
<i>One of the things that gets repeatedly connected to Severus is the notion of bravery, and how courageous he is. So perhaps it might be interesting to take a look at the flip side of that, fear - explore what Severus might be afraid of, or how he would react to fear, etc.</i>
Therefore we have:
The October Challenge
Severus and his fears.
What an interesting question!
He is very obviously terrified of Lupin, but does not let that stop him as he rushes to the Whomping Willow at the end of POA. At the end of GOF, he is clearly terrified of Voldemort and what he might do, but he does not hesitate even for a moment. When This is a guy who feels fear. He argues, shows reluctance at times, shows anger (which can be a mask for fear as well as grief) - but he always comes through. He always does what has to be done.
But what he's most afraid of? Rejection. And he continually acts against the weight of this fear, also. When we see him spying on the two girls, my sense was that this was a shy and poorly socialized child. He approaches them, anyway. When he fails, he tries again. After a much bigger failure, (the horrible "mudblood" comment), he risks his own safety to apologize to Lily. Over and over, he is the one who reaches out to other people. He is the one who tries to make things right, however clumsily, and however poor his understanding, when he has done wrong. That takes courage. And it's a type of courage we really don't see from anyone else in the text. No one else has the courage to approach others in the face of rejection, except perhaps for Neville. And, including Neville, I don't think anyone else has the courage to say, "I was wrong". In word and deed, Severus does this. That makes him a hero in my eyes.
Re: What an interesting question!
Percy. And nobody apologizes back to him despite the fact that they were very wrong about and to him.
Re: What an interesting question!
Re: What an interesting question!
Another one who admits a mistake is Ernie in COS.
Re: What an interesting question!
It sure does. Especially considering how terrified of rejection he is and how rarely anyone acknowledges his attempts to make things right. (Instead, he's usually punished for not having perfect understanding it seems to me.)
And he is really the only one I can think of who actually admits he was wrong and attempts to change. I can remember 3 or 4 people in all of HP who ever even pretend to apologize - taking that term loosely. One is Voldemort, with his mocking pseudo-apology in the Shack: "I regret it." One is Dumbledore, who makes a show of apologizing to Harry in OotP and DH, but never really admits his wrongdoing - he's more sorry that his plans went awry than anything else. One (that I'm not certain of) is Harry - I have a vague recollection of him attempting to apologize to Snape for James sometime after the Pensieve incident, but that might be from a fic. I do recall that his 'apology' (if it's there) came out sounding more like "I'm sorry to learn my father wasn't a saint," rather than "I'm sorry my father hurt you." Though perhaps I am biased in my reading/recollection.
And, of course, Severus. Who says point-blank to Lily "I'm sorry" and seems sincere, even if the rest of his apology (what he allowed to say before being cut off) is rather stumbling, and who later has worked up the courage to go to Dumbles and admit he was wrong. And - this is what really gets me - he sticks it out, doing the best he can to do the right thing, for seventeen solid years, despite his fears, despite his emotional turmoil and his very apparent unhappiness, with what seems to have been minimal support, while keeping up a very precarious balancing-act (you know he was keeping tabs on the free DEs during Voldie's absence for Dumbles, and they're as capable of an AK as Voldie, after all). It's relatively easy to "apologize" by making excuses for oneself. It's a bit harder to simply admit wrongdoing and vow to change. The really difficult thing is actually bloody doing it, day after day. Yes, he slips occasionally and says something less than nice, so do we all. But he has the strength and courage to keep at it.
And you're quite right, oryx, regarding Percy. Another underappreciated expression of moral character there.
Re: What an interesting question!
Because, in this universe, it seems that apologizing for anything is an admission of weakness. Thus the slighting of Percy (I'm sorry I didn't remember him.)
But I do think Severus is even braver to apologize, because he is terrified of rejection. I wonder what Rowling thinks his boggart was? I'd guess something to do with rejection - perhaps Lily sneering at him and turning away from him. And how would you make that laughable?
Another instance of moral tone-deafness on Rowling's part, IMHO. By POA, these are not little children. If a boggart represents one's deepest fears, we should have seen dead parents, rejection by loved ones, symbols of one's own death, and so on - not garden-variety horror stuff like mummies and spiders and banshees.
Re: What an interesting question!
I think you're quite right about apologizing being presented as a sign of weakness - it fits right in with the brash, reckless, unempathetic Gryffndor version of "goodness" we're presented with. Which, along with the double-standards at play, puts those unfortunate souls who happen to make bad judgments like any human being in a real bind: admit wrongdoing, apologize, and appear "weak," or refuse to admit wrong and apologize and be condemned for that refusal. *tries not to break something in rage* Of course, our Perfect Gryffindor Heroes(TM) never need to apologize, because they can do no wrong!
The boggart thing bothers me too. Neville's is the only one I find in the least plausible - because you can just about read it as symbolizing his real fear of proving himself no better than a Squib, complete with social and familial disapproval. (I think it was Jodel who suggested that, tho I'm not sure).
RE: Sev's boggart: for a while I thought it would be a werewolf, but that seems too simple (tho he is clearly frightened by them), especially given what else he faces. Perhaps it would be Lily or someone rejecting him. But he faces similar things often enough that that doesn't quite feel right to me - unless that was his boggart pre-Harry.
After Voldemort's return, at least, I think his boggart would be seeing Harry dead - the symbol:
1) of his failure (failing Dumbles, failing Lily, failing Harry, failing the entire WW, failing yet again to simply BE GOOD ENOUGH),
2) of the ultimate victory of the psychopath I'm sure he's grown to hate,
3) of the condemning of hundreds of innocents to torment and/or death (considering his words to Dumbles on the subject of saving people, I think this would matter deeply to adult Sev), and
4) of the final loss of both Harry himself (who I think he does care for in a certain gruff way) and Lily. From the age of 21, when he agreed to protect the boy and to remain at Hogwarts waiting for him, his life has revolved around Harry (something I am sure has grown to irritate him no end). Losing Harry is the loss of his entire mission at this point.
Re: What an interesting question!
duj
Re: What an interesting question!
Werewolves (who haven't taken wolfsbane potion) are utterly wild. Severus is used to being able to verbally manuever, to reduce or escape danger. He can't do that with a werewolf.
The fear of being bitten but not killed by a werewolf would resonate with him, too. He's already an outcast; if he were a werewolf, it would be even worse.
Still, I think that something that represents his failure, like Harry's death, is even more likely. I like Duj's suggestion of "Dumbledore himself joining the Kill Harry brigade," which would be even more frightening, but I wonder whether it would have occurred to him to fear that.
Lynn
Re: What an interesting question!
Re: What an interesting question!
Yes,because of this quote it must have been the dead Lily or something similar,though it's a bit strange that a boggart (the worst fear) should take the form of something that already happened.
I can find nowhere in Canon that Snape is especially afraid of werewolves,as it is frequently mentioned in fanfic.Surely he was horrified by the "werewolf caper",but I can't see him later being afraid of Lupin,he just dislikes him,nothing more.I would agree,that his worst fear is rejection.Otherwise his handling of frightening situations is normal,understandable and reasonable(for example the situation on Slughorn's party when Draco seems to mess up things-and of course he fears Voldemort,every sane person would do.)But he is brave enough to face everything,even rejection,and I still could cry(even 2 years after DH) about the fact that he never received any kind of reward.
Re: What an interesting question!
ioannina