Back when I first read PoA and learned about Snape's adversarial relationship with the Marauders, my first impression was that he was a lonely kid who followed them around because he envied their closeness. In my Snape/Lupin ship essay I wrote:
"Even if you don't accept the Snupin ship, I still think that maybe Snape envied the closeness between the four Marauders. Until DH came out, I had the impression that Snape probably didn't have many friends in school--enforced by the fact that no one but Lily comes to his aid in the Snape's Worst Memory scene. We do know now that he had 'friends' like Mulciber, but I think that they were probably more allies that he thought would bring him power rather than people that he could really count on to be loyal to him no matter what. Even before I started pairing Lupin and Snape in my mind, I had this vision of Snape as a lonely young boy following around the four close friends and wishing that he could join them, but knowing that Slytherins and Gryffindors can't be friends. Or maybe not wanting to be part of the Marauders, because he did despise them, but just longing for that same kind of closeness, and knowing that he won't get it from his budding Death Eater allies."
(Also see that essay for more on my thoughts about the similarities and differences between Snape and Lupin.)
My second impression was that he was following them around because he had a crush on Lupin, although that's more fanon wishful thinking, since I didn't really think that JKR would write about a gay couple in a children's book. (Dumbledore/Grindelwald sort of proved me wrong, but that's fodder for another essay.) I thought it was kind of odd that Snape was fixated on the least offensive member of the group when James and Sirius seemed to treat him much worse than Lupin did.
If Snape were to have a friendship with one of the Marauders, Lupin would be the most likely candidate. If the "Snape's Worst Memory" scene is typical of the Marauders' actions (or inactions, as the case may be), Lupin disapproved of the way his friends bullied Snape and did not actively take part himself, but was afraid to speak up against them, presumably because he was afraid of losing their friendship. The adult Lupin seems to respect Snape's abilities as a Potions Master and a spy, and it seems reasonable to assume that he probably respected Snape's skills when they were students as well. If Lupin had not been a werewolf, he might not have been so desperate for the Marauders' friendship that he would overlook their bullying and hexing, and he and Snape might have become friends, or at least not-enemies. They both seem more serious and studious than the other three Marauders, and they were both half-bloods, so I think they have enough in common to have become friends if circumstances had been different.
Of course, any possible respect that Snape might have had for Lupin would have flown right out the window when Lupin (1) refused to stand up to his friends to help Snape, even when it was his duty to do so as a prefect, and (2) even worse, he remained friends with them even after Sirius essentially used him as a tool to get back at Snape in the "prank". Snape would also naturally be angry that Lupin nearly killed him, but if Lupin had cut ties with the Marauders after that, he might have believed that Lupin wasn't a partner in Sirius's plan, and maybe have gained some respect for him.
JKR never addresses this in the books, but I think it's very likely that Lupin would have been punished by the Ministry if he actually had turned or killed Snape. We've seen how harshly the Ministry treats werewolves, and I don't think that they would care that the attack wasn't Lupin's fault. At the very least, he would be expelled from Hogwarts, and I suspect that he'd be sent to Azkaban as well. At worst, he'd be executed or given the Dementor's Kiss. I think the fact that Lupin remained friends with people who would use and endanger him this way made him utterly contemptible in Snape's eyes. It's true that Snape also made questionable friends (or at least allies), but we find out in DH that Snape immediately turned against the Death Eaters when he discovered that Lily was in danger, and even went to plead for Dumbledore's help at the risk of his own life. (At least, Snape sincerely seemed to believe that it was at risk, since he shouted at Dumbledore not to kill him.)
I'm a big Lupin fan, but the discussions here on
snapedom have given me a better view of the flaws in his character. I admit that it's easy to just see the nice guy on the surface and overlook his deeper flaws. Lupin's cowardice is understandable and perhaps forgivable in a child or teenager, but less so as an adult, when his failure to tell Dumbledore that the Marauders were animagi put Harry--and the other students--in great danger, as did his failure to remember to take his dose of Wolfsbane on the night of the full moon. For someone like Snape, who goes to great lengths to protect the students (no matter how unpleasant he is to them), this would be unforgivable, and would probably make him despise Lupin even more than he already does.
Going back to the teenage Lupin for a moment, it's strongly implied in PoA and OotP that he was so grateful to have friends that he went along with whatever the other Marauders did (or at least looked the other way) because he didn't want to risk losing their friendship. However, that hints at a darker side to the Marauders' relationship: if they are truly best friends, blood brothers who would die for each other, why would Lupin be so afraid that they would drop him just because he told them to lay off of Snivellus? Why did Sirius so easily suspect that Lupin was the traitor? The answer, perhaps, is that they weren't really as good friends as Lupin would like to believe.
I recall reading a Snupin fic (I'm sorry, but I've forgotten the title) where Lupin explains to Snape that he was essentially held hostage by the Marauders. Although they never explicitly threatened to out him, once they found out his secret, they could expose him as a werewolf if he ever offended them, and that was something that Lupin was constantly aware of. They became animagi not so much out of loyalty, but because they saw Lupin's lycanthropy as something exciting, an excuse to have a great adventure. The adult Lupin admits that he enjoyed the adventures and it was mostly a happy sort of captivity, but he never forgot that he was a hostage at their mercy.
Looking at it from that perspective, they were both victims of the Marauders. However, the way that they reacted to their situations emphasizes the differences between them. Lupin tried to ingratiate himself with them (although not as slavishly as Pettigrew), while Snape absolutely refused to submit to them, and judging by the "Snape's Worst Memory" scene, always fought back even when he was outnumbered. To be fair, Snape has additional reason to hate the Marauders because James is a rival for Lily's affection, but Lupin's inability to stand up for himself, let alone anyone else, would likely make him a coward in Snape's eyes.
One last point I'll make about Lupin before moving on to the other Marauders is regarding the scene in HBP where he tells Harry that he neither likes nor dislikes Snape. I find his statement rather deceptive and a bit maddening, because he has to feel something more than indifference for the man, given their long and tumultuous history. Why doesn't he say, "I like Severus even though he doesn't like me, because I'm grateful for the Wolfsbane, and he is a brave and honorable man" or "I don't like Severus, but he is a brave and honorable man, and my personal feelings have nothing to do with whether he is trustworthy or not." Perhaps if he had been honest and explained how he really felt, Harry would have been more inclined to trust his opinion of Snape--but on second thought, probably not, given his deep antipathy towards Snape.
The fanon answer is that Lupin can't tell anyone that he and Snape are lovers because it would ruin Snape's cover. ;-) A more canon-compatible answer is that Lupin is a private person and doesn't want to openly discuss his feelings about Snape, good or bad. And he might be ashamed of how he treated Snape when they were students, and doesn't want to be reminded of it and/or doesn't want to look bad in front of Harry and the others by recalling incidents like the one Harry saw in the Pensieve. Or similarly, being someone who needs to be liked and accepted, he either (1) doesn't want to say that he likes Snape, because he knows that Harry (and probably many of his fellow Order comrades) dislike Snape and he doesn't want to risk antagonizing them, or (2) he thinks that it will make him look petty and ungrateful by saying that he dislikes Snape even though Snape went to the trouble of brewing the Wolfsbane Potion for him (at least during PoA; it's not clear whether Snape continued to brew it after Lupin left the school, though I would guess he probably didn't, given that Lupin looks much worse in OotP).
I feel sort of bad, bashing one-half of my favorite ship! I do think that Lupin's likability, combined with his flaws, make him a fascinating, if sometimes frustrating character. But the only way that the Snupin ship can really work (not counting dysfunctional hate-sex) is if Lupin finds the strength to stand up for himself (and Snape) and do what he thinks is right, and not just follow the path of least resistance. He has a lot of potential, but he doesn't quite fulfill it in canon.
***
I've spent the most time on Lupin, partly because he's one of my favorite characters, but also because we see less of Sirius, James, and Peter, especially the latter two.
We see enough of Sirius to make him a relatively complex character. He loves his godson very much, but he's reckless, not thinking about the consequences of his actions. He's loyal to his friends, but he can be cruel and callous to people outside of his circle of friends, such as Kreacher and Snape. He can be hypocritical, or at least contradictory at times--such as when he tells Harry in GoF that you can judge a man by how he treats his inferiors, referring to Barty Crouch and Winky, but ironically, he treats his own house-elf badly because Kreacher reminds him of his unhappy childhood.
I've heard it mentioned in fanfics that Sirius and Snape are like mirror reflections, or perhaps opposite sides of the same coin. Snape, who aspires to gain power and join the ranks of the Slytherin elite, probably envies Sirius for his wealth, connections, and long lineage of pure blood. Sirius, on the other hand, ran away from home and was disowned by his family, and perhaps in Snape he sees the kind of son that his parents would approve of--ambitious and skilled in the Dark Arts. Perhaps their hate for each other is motivated partly by jealousy, though I doubt that either of them would admit it.
We see so little of James and Peter that they are almost caricatures. We are told that James was a hero, but we only ever see him acting like a bully. We are told that he matured, but we never see the change. Harry is told by Lupin and Sirius that James hated Snape because of Snape's interest in the Dark Arts, but we see from The Prince's Tale that James and Sirius took an immediate dislike to Snape on the train to Hogwarts, before Snape had cast a single spell in front of them--unless they're assuming that Snape must be interested in the Dark Arts because he wants to be Sorted into Slytherin.
Looking at James and Sirius and Snape's backgrounds, one might almost expect Snape to be the hero and the other two to be the villains. Snape, the young half-blood living in poverty, magically talented but with an unhappy childhood, seems like the type of protagonist in a fairy tale who starts off living in misery, but will eventually win fame, fortune, and love after going on adventures and proving his compassion and bravery. James and Sirius, the arrogant and wealthy young purebloods, seem more like wicked stepsister--er, stepbrother--material than heroes. In fact, if you change the details just a little, you wind up with Harry in place of Snape, and Draco in place of James and Sirius.
I once read a book of academic essays on Harry Potter, and I remember one of them said that while the HP books appear to be promoting tolerance and equality on the surface, the stories are really about maintaining the status quo. (Unfortunately, I've read several of these books, and I can't recall the name of the essay or which book it was from, so I'm working off memory and paraphrasing a bit. If I can find the citation, I'll edit in the reference later.) Harry appears to be the Muggle-born wizard overthrowing the bigoted pureblood order, but in actuality, he comes from an old and wealthy wizarding family on his father's side. When he discovers his powers and enters Hogwarts and the wizarding world, he is not so much creating a revolution as he is being restored to his proper place in life. I don't remember all the details of the essay, but I'm pretty sure the way that most of the house-elves are content in their slavery worked into it.
It was written pre-Book 6, and at the time I thought that the essay was interesting but flawed. However, in light of DH, it may be closer to the mark than I had originally thought. In the epilogue, things do not seem to have changed all that much--Slytherin House is still looked down upon by the Gryffindors, and wizards are still inflicting Memory Charms on Muggles for their own convenience.
If Snape had also been a wealthy pureblood, I wonder if James and Sirius would have targeted him in the way that they did? They still might not have liked him, but would they have targeted him so mercilessly? After all, we don't hear about them harassing, say, Mulciber or Avery the way that they do Snape. At the very least, having a wealthy and powerful family who would make a fuss if their son was harmed might have provided Snape with some protection. If Harry had sent Draco to a werewolf in the Shrieking Shack, you can bet that Lucius would have been demanding that the school governors fire Dumbledore and expel Harry and execute the werewolf.
As for Peter...he's also a one-dimensional character. Supposedly he's considered a best friend by James, Sirius, and Lupin, but we never see any of the qualities that would make him worthy of that loyalty. In both the Pensieve scene and his scenes as a Death Eater, Wormtail acts like a fawning lackey. Sirius said that Wormtail wanted powerful friends who could protect him, and I suspect that he attached himself to James and Sirius out of self-preservation. Perhaps he met them on the train and figured that they could protect him from the other bullies if he ingratiated himself with them, and asked the Sorting Hat to put him in Gryffindor.
Wormtail as lackey from the start would explain why he was able to betray his friends so easily: he knew that they weren't really his friends, and kept him around only so long as he flattered them sufficiently. This might also explain Snape's apparent indifference to him, even though he knows that Wormtail betrayed the Potters, including his beloved Lily, to their deaths. He is no one of importance, worthy only of contempt, because he is only a lackey, a pawn and tool of more powerful wizards.
It's interesting, and perhaps rather ironic, that Snape and the other Marauders both rank Wormtail last, on the bottom of the pecking order.
(Also see that essay for more on my thoughts about the similarities and differences between Snape and Lupin.)
My second impression was that he was following them around because he had a crush on Lupin, although that's more fanon wishful thinking, since I didn't really think that JKR would write about a gay couple in a children's book. (Dumbledore/Grindelwald sort of proved me wrong, but that's fodder for another essay.) I thought it was kind of odd that Snape was fixated on the least offensive member of the group when James and Sirius seemed to treat him much worse than Lupin did.
If Snape were to have a friendship with one of the Marauders, Lupin would be the most likely candidate. If the "Snape's Worst Memory" scene is typical of the Marauders' actions (or inactions, as the case may be), Lupin disapproved of the way his friends bullied Snape and did not actively take part himself, but was afraid to speak up against them, presumably because he was afraid of losing their friendship. The adult Lupin seems to respect Snape's abilities as a Potions Master and a spy, and it seems reasonable to assume that he probably respected Snape's skills when they were students as well. If Lupin had not been a werewolf, he might not have been so desperate for the Marauders' friendship that he would overlook their bullying and hexing, and he and Snape might have become friends, or at least not-enemies. They both seem more serious and studious than the other three Marauders, and they were both half-bloods, so I think they have enough in common to have become friends if circumstances had been different.
Of course, any possible respect that Snape might have had for Lupin would have flown right out the window when Lupin (1) refused to stand up to his friends to help Snape, even when it was his duty to do so as a prefect, and (2) even worse, he remained friends with them even after Sirius essentially used him as a tool to get back at Snape in the "prank". Snape would also naturally be angry that Lupin nearly killed him, but if Lupin had cut ties with the Marauders after that, he might have believed that Lupin wasn't a partner in Sirius's plan, and maybe have gained some respect for him.
JKR never addresses this in the books, but I think it's very likely that Lupin would have been punished by the Ministry if he actually had turned or killed Snape. We've seen how harshly the Ministry treats werewolves, and I don't think that they would care that the attack wasn't Lupin's fault. At the very least, he would be expelled from Hogwarts, and I suspect that he'd be sent to Azkaban as well. At worst, he'd be executed or given the Dementor's Kiss. I think the fact that Lupin remained friends with people who would use and endanger him this way made him utterly contemptible in Snape's eyes. It's true that Snape also made questionable friends (or at least allies), but we find out in DH that Snape immediately turned against the Death Eaters when he discovered that Lily was in danger, and even went to plead for Dumbledore's help at the risk of his own life. (At least, Snape sincerely seemed to believe that it was at risk, since he shouted at Dumbledore not to kill him.)
I'm a big Lupin fan, but the discussions here on
Going back to the teenage Lupin for a moment, it's strongly implied in PoA and OotP that he was so grateful to have friends that he went along with whatever the other Marauders did (or at least looked the other way) because he didn't want to risk losing their friendship. However, that hints at a darker side to the Marauders' relationship: if they are truly best friends, blood brothers who would die for each other, why would Lupin be so afraid that they would drop him just because he told them to lay off of Snivellus? Why did Sirius so easily suspect that Lupin was the traitor? The answer, perhaps, is that they weren't really as good friends as Lupin would like to believe.
I recall reading a Snupin fic (I'm sorry, but I've forgotten the title) where Lupin explains to Snape that he was essentially held hostage by the Marauders. Although they never explicitly threatened to out him, once they found out his secret, they could expose him as a werewolf if he ever offended them, and that was something that Lupin was constantly aware of. They became animagi not so much out of loyalty, but because they saw Lupin's lycanthropy as something exciting, an excuse to have a great adventure. The adult Lupin admits that he enjoyed the adventures and it was mostly a happy sort of captivity, but he never forgot that he was a hostage at their mercy.
Looking at it from that perspective, they were both victims of the Marauders. However, the way that they reacted to their situations emphasizes the differences between them. Lupin tried to ingratiate himself with them (although not as slavishly as Pettigrew), while Snape absolutely refused to submit to them, and judging by the "Snape's Worst Memory" scene, always fought back even when he was outnumbered. To be fair, Snape has additional reason to hate the Marauders because James is a rival for Lily's affection, but Lupin's inability to stand up for himself, let alone anyone else, would likely make him a coward in Snape's eyes.
One last point I'll make about Lupin before moving on to the other Marauders is regarding the scene in HBP where he tells Harry that he neither likes nor dislikes Snape. I find his statement rather deceptive and a bit maddening, because he has to feel something more than indifference for the man, given their long and tumultuous history. Why doesn't he say, "I like Severus even though he doesn't like me, because I'm grateful for the Wolfsbane, and he is a brave and honorable man" or "I don't like Severus, but he is a brave and honorable man, and my personal feelings have nothing to do with whether he is trustworthy or not." Perhaps if he had been honest and explained how he really felt, Harry would have been more inclined to trust his opinion of Snape--but on second thought, probably not, given his deep antipathy towards Snape.
The fanon answer is that Lupin can't tell anyone that he and Snape are lovers because it would ruin Snape's cover. ;-) A more canon-compatible answer is that Lupin is a private person and doesn't want to openly discuss his feelings about Snape, good or bad. And he might be ashamed of how he treated Snape when they were students, and doesn't want to be reminded of it and/or doesn't want to look bad in front of Harry and the others by recalling incidents like the one Harry saw in the Pensieve. Or similarly, being someone who needs to be liked and accepted, he either (1) doesn't want to say that he likes Snape, because he knows that Harry (and probably many of his fellow Order comrades) dislike Snape and he doesn't want to risk antagonizing them, or (2) he thinks that it will make him look petty and ungrateful by saying that he dislikes Snape even though Snape went to the trouble of brewing the Wolfsbane Potion for him (at least during PoA; it's not clear whether Snape continued to brew it after Lupin left the school, though I would guess he probably didn't, given that Lupin looks much worse in OotP).
I feel sort of bad, bashing one-half of my favorite ship! I do think that Lupin's likability, combined with his flaws, make him a fascinating, if sometimes frustrating character. But the only way that the Snupin ship can really work (not counting dysfunctional hate-sex) is if Lupin finds the strength to stand up for himself (and Snape) and do what he thinks is right, and not just follow the path of least resistance. He has a lot of potential, but he doesn't quite fulfill it in canon.
***
I've spent the most time on Lupin, partly because he's one of my favorite characters, but also because we see less of Sirius, James, and Peter, especially the latter two.
We see enough of Sirius to make him a relatively complex character. He loves his godson very much, but he's reckless, not thinking about the consequences of his actions. He's loyal to his friends, but he can be cruel and callous to people outside of his circle of friends, such as Kreacher and Snape. He can be hypocritical, or at least contradictory at times--such as when he tells Harry in GoF that you can judge a man by how he treats his inferiors, referring to Barty Crouch and Winky, but ironically, he treats his own house-elf badly because Kreacher reminds him of his unhappy childhood.
I've heard it mentioned in fanfics that Sirius and Snape are like mirror reflections, or perhaps opposite sides of the same coin. Snape, who aspires to gain power and join the ranks of the Slytherin elite, probably envies Sirius for his wealth, connections, and long lineage of pure blood. Sirius, on the other hand, ran away from home and was disowned by his family, and perhaps in Snape he sees the kind of son that his parents would approve of--ambitious and skilled in the Dark Arts. Perhaps their hate for each other is motivated partly by jealousy, though I doubt that either of them would admit it.
We see so little of James and Peter that they are almost caricatures. We are told that James was a hero, but we only ever see him acting like a bully. We are told that he matured, but we never see the change. Harry is told by Lupin and Sirius that James hated Snape because of Snape's interest in the Dark Arts, but we see from The Prince's Tale that James and Sirius took an immediate dislike to Snape on the train to Hogwarts, before Snape had cast a single spell in front of them--unless they're assuming that Snape must be interested in the Dark Arts because he wants to be Sorted into Slytherin.
Looking at James and Sirius and Snape's backgrounds, one might almost expect Snape to be the hero and the other two to be the villains. Snape, the young half-blood living in poverty, magically talented but with an unhappy childhood, seems like the type of protagonist in a fairy tale who starts off living in misery, but will eventually win fame, fortune, and love after going on adventures and proving his compassion and bravery. James and Sirius, the arrogant and wealthy young purebloods, seem more like wicked stepsister--er, stepbrother--material than heroes. In fact, if you change the details just a little, you wind up with Harry in place of Snape, and Draco in place of James and Sirius.
I once read a book of academic essays on Harry Potter, and I remember one of them said that while the HP books appear to be promoting tolerance and equality on the surface, the stories are really about maintaining the status quo. (Unfortunately, I've read several of these books, and I can't recall the name of the essay or which book it was from, so I'm working off memory and paraphrasing a bit. If I can find the citation, I'll edit in the reference later.) Harry appears to be the Muggle-born wizard overthrowing the bigoted pureblood order, but in actuality, he comes from an old and wealthy wizarding family on his father's side. When he discovers his powers and enters Hogwarts and the wizarding world, he is not so much creating a revolution as he is being restored to his proper place in life. I don't remember all the details of the essay, but I'm pretty sure the way that most of the house-elves are content in their slavery worked into it.
It was written pre-Book 6, and at the time I thought that the essay was interesting but flawed. However, in light of DH, it may be closer to the mark than I had originally thought. In the epilogue, things do not seem to have changed all that much--Slytherin House is still looked down upon by the Gryffindors, and wizards are still inflicting Memory Charms on Muggles for their own convenience.
If Snape had also been a wealthy pureblood, I wonder if James and Sirius would have targeted him in the way that they did? They still might not have liked him, but would they have targeted him so mercilessly? After all, we don't hear about them harassing, say, Mulciber or Avery the way that they do Snape. At the very least, having a wealthy and powerful family who would make a fuss if their son was harmed might have provided Snape with some protection. If Harry had sent Draco to a werewolf in the Shrieking Shack, you can bet that Lucius would have been demanding that the school governors fire Dumbledore and expel Harry and execute the werewolf.
As for Peter...he's also a one-dimensional character. Supposedly he's considered a best friend by James, Sirius, and Lupin, but we never see any of the qualities that would make him worthy of that loyalty. In both the Pensieve scene and his scenes as a Death Eater, Wormtail acts like a fawning lackey. Sirius said that Wormtail wanted powerful friends who could protect him, and I suspect that he attached himself to James and Sirius out of self-preservation. Perhaps he met them on the train and figured that they could protect him from the other bullies if he ingratiated himself with them, and asked the Sorting Hat to put him in Gryffindor.
Wormtail as lackey from the start would explain why he was able to betray his friends so easily: he knew that they weren't really his friends, and kept him around only so long as he flattered them sufficiently. This might also explain Snape's apparent indifference to him, even though he knows that Wormtail betrayed the Potters, including his beloved Lily, to their deaths. He is no one of importance, worthy only of contempt, because he is only a lackey, a pawn and tool of more powerful wizards.
It's interesting, and perhaps rather ironic, that Snape and the other Marauders both rank Wormtail last, on the bottom of the pecking order.
He was a lackey, that much is evident, and the way Sirius and James talk about him right in front of him is insulting and would have been damaging to a boy who's self-esteem must have been so low anyway. He could've been one of the most interesting characters in the Marauder dynamic, because when you look at the interactions between Sirius/James/Peter, it's no surprise that he would go on to betray them. They treat him like dirt but expect him to be loyal and grateful for their allowing him in their holier-than-thou presence.
It seems from the Snape's Worst Memory scene that Peter is only there because James appreciates the applause, preening like an idiot, and Sirius is openly derisive toward him. Once James & Lily go into hiding, if Peter was still loyal at that time, the only person who ever actually 'protected' him is hiding for his life and in no position to do Peter good. James is HIDING, he is afraid of Voldemort, which means Voldemort is even more powerful than James (which, from James' attitude, might have been easy for Peter to fool himself about). Sirius sure wouldn't be accepting him into the group without James forcing it, so Peter would go to the person who could protect him - Voldemort. Who also appreciates the applause.
In looking at the Marauders more closely, I think it's evident to the readers that "The Marauders" are considered, by James and Sirius, to be just them. It's really The Marauders + Remus & Peter. I think Severus would, from an outside view (and one that is not willing to give them the benefit of the doubt), would be absolutely aware of the huge imbalance in power. What Remus thinks about what James & Sirius do doesn't matter to them at all. He has no say. He can dislike every prank they ever commit, and they obviously knew he did, but they did it anyway because they both wanted to. If James had been against something, you can bet it would be out. Remus, Peter, Sirius, all of them would have ceased any action that displeased him. (And probably the same would go for Sirius).
But Remus still thinks he has some say, because it is obvious he doesn't help them in their bullying. Peter seems to realise immediately that he has no say, and so he conforms everything he believes to align with James. Severus certainly saw that James and Sirius were bullies where others were inexplicably willing to forgive them their cruel and senseless actions in favour of a mysterious "inner goodness" that all the "good guys" can apparently sense somehow (considering how people vouch for it...) but we never actually see.
So while Remus obviously doesn't like what they do and THEY DON'T GIVE A DAMN about that, he has convinced himself that he is on equal level with them, and he believes they regard him as good a friend as they do each other. That deliberate self-fooling might have been clear to Severus if he watched them for long enough, and I agree that Remus remaining friends with them after the Werewolf Prank would have made it that much more obvious that he was living in a fantasy. He thinks they're true friends where, in reality, his friends don't even care enough for him to protect his life and most painful, dangerous secret. And I think Severus, if anything else, tries to make the people most likely to pretend everything is fine realise that everything is NOT fine, in particular when it comes to James & Sirius who enjoy popularity and regard without earning it in an honorable way. He would see Remus' choice to believe in The Good Of The Marauders as idiotic and self-destructive, and I think he would look down on Remus a great deal because of it.
Alison
"Here I thought you were alright!" from James brings out "Maybe it's time to break that tradition," from Sirius (paraphrasing here, lol). That is kind of how I see the dynamic being. I think they do consider each other equals, but when they fall into the place that feels more natural to them, I see James as being the leader of the two. Sirius would come up with ideas, but it would be James who has the final word, he would be the one deciding the course of action they'd take.
It's totally up to interpretation, but I personally think James was in a more authoritative position even with Sirius. And he obviously had leadership abilities Sirius lacked, as he was both the Gryffindor quidditch captain and Head Boy. We don't really see people follow Sirius (admire, definitely, like and want romantically, yes, but not follow the lead of). But apparently James had acknowledged leadership abilities amongst his friends as a 'free spirit/prankster' and also in a more conformed way, as it is recognized by the school and his House.
Although personally, having James as a team captain or Head Boy strikes me as akin to having Fred or George as a team captain or Head Boy, especially after seeing the way he acted in the prequel JKR wrote where he and Sirius could have been replaced just in name and physical description and had the twins down exactly. I don't see any evidence that he was a good leader, but JKR seems insistent on the fact that he was.
1) James and Sirius
2) Lupin
3) Wormtail
And really, as you state, the Marauders are actually James and Sirius, with Remus and Peter being hangers-on. I've heard some interesting debate about whether James or Sirius is top dog, so to speak--James initiates the attack on Snape, but for Sirius's sake, so it could be argued either way. I do agree that James takes on the role of the leader, but I think that they probably regard each other as equals.
I think on some level, Lupin must have been aware that they were using him, although he probably refused to consciously admit it. It was probably easy enough to fool himself at first: "These people are my friends--they want to hang out with me even though I'm a werewolf! They became animagi so they could be with me during the full moon!" But he must have had to work really hard on the self-delusion after the prank. I think that he kept up the charade, but his feelings of betrayal leaked through enough to sour their friendship a little, since Sirius suspected Lupin of being the traitor. Or Sirius and James reverted back to pureblood bigotry and just assumed that the Dark Creature must be the one who's working with the Death Eaters.