Snapedom

Wow. Thank you for posting that link. Very disturbing story, very powerful, and though I don't know if we can take it to the extent that James literally did behave to that degree of abuse of Lily, I think it does illuminate the controlling and abusive aspects of his personality. Probably he would have expressed them more subtly, which of course makes it all the more insidious, because it's much harder to put a finger on that elusive "something" that just doesn't feel quite right, and so what can the abused do? Everyone around her would be saying, what do you mean, James is a great guy, even if she tried to articulate her sense of "something wrong."

I agree with your analysis of the "friendship" of James with Lupin. People have held that up as an example of what a great guy he is, so kindhearted and generous and selfless, but in light of his overall pattern of behavior--including the distancing from Lupin post-Hogwarts--I really do think it had more to do with reinforcing his image of himself (and before his peers) as a "great guy," and with being an excuse to become an Animagus and run around the grounds after hours. Someone posted an essay about Dumbledore being a textbook case of Narcissistic Personality Disorder; I think it would be possible to view James through the same lens, because everything he does seems to be about being The Great James Potter--especially and including his PR tactic of convincing Lily that he has "changed" and "grown up" in order to break down her resistance to dating him.

I still think canon Lily wasn't really such great friends with Severus as Severus thought she was. I think JKR wants us to think they were, but that's not what I see in the texts. I don't know if you saw my recent post about this, Severus and Lily: The Way They REALLY Would Have Been, but that, and the meta-story "Childhood's End," pretty well sums up my view of the shallow nature of their childhood friendship, and how poorly it would have carried over into adult life even if Severus had never spoken the taboo M-word and had never become a Death Eater.

Anyway, one more thought about Severus: If he did, in fact, see James as no good for Lily--not just out of his own self-interest or jealousy, but because he saw James as potentially abusive, at least psychologically abusive--then in a twisted way it might have made sense to him to go on and become a Death Eater. Because to Severus, becoming a Death Eater meant the POWER to vanquish his enemies and be vulnerable no more, and so he might have reasoned that he would be in a position to protect Lily from James. Which would explain why he wasn't too worried about Voldy killing off James--he'd probably see it (through an admittedly immature, young man's reasoning) as the best thing that could happen for Lily. Of course that would make it all the more ironic and tragic that his becoming a Death Eater ultimately led to Lily's death: the very thing he did to "save" her ended up killing her.

Just speculation, there, but this is certainly an angle worth examining! Thanks again.