The ending was genius!! Of course Ron was going to lose, Harry's the only one who determines his love life.
The club scene was by far my most favorite. Mystery author, you did a fine job. The way you described Harry's thoughts on the mystery man. He couldn't place who it was,but he must have known (deep down) seeing how he was quick to lose his virginity.
As for Severus, he just couldn't resist Harry. When they went at it a second time...Severus is smitten with Harry and overprotective. He's sweet after all :)