Snarry-a-Thon11: FIC: Whole Again Title: Whole Again Author:alisanne Rating: R Word count: +/- 7,200 Warning(s): None. Prompt: Narcissa and Lucius have instructed a house-elf to secretly keep an eye on Headmaster Snape, in exchange for Snape looking after Draco. The elf arrives as soon as the trio leave the shack (not boathouse - shack!) and magically seals the wounds and replaces sufficient blood to keep Snape alive. He recuperates at Malfoy Manor but Draco thinks he is not 'himself'. Draco realises that Snape needs his memories - he gave too many away when he thought he was dying. Draco asks Harry for the memories. The trio go to Malfoy Manor to find a strangely compliant, mellow Snape who has knowledge of the recent past but who has lost the emotional connection - including his love for Lily...what happens when they give the memories back? Summary: See prompt. :) A/N: Thank you to my beta, who shall be named later, and to the mods for all their hard work.
Whole Again
Mifty shivered as the Dark one sailed past her hiding spot. She had seen the things he had done to her master and mistress, the way he had treated the household treasures, and she knew better than to show herself while he was present.
Once he was gone, his nasty snake with him, she emerged and approached her charge. The young wizards had left him lying in a pool of his own blood, presuming him dead. Mifty knew better, however. Her headmaster was clever.
Leaning close, she watched, humming with satisfaction when she saw that he was still breathing, albeit barely. Remembering her instructions, Mifty placed her tiny hand on his chest and, concentrating, took him to the place she had so carefully prepared.
Mistress had long ago drummed into her the importance of a wizard’s blood, so she took all that she could of that, too, with barely a thought.
The prepared place was dark, hidden, but her headmaster would not care. He was comfortable underground, having spent so many years in dungeons.
Years of having cared for wizards made Mifty’s movements measured and sure. She found his wand, which she secured, and several potions vials on him; those she set aside, opting to use the ones she’d had prepared and laid ready.
She fed him anti-venom immediately to combat the poison, and since he was so very pale, she followed that in short order with Blood-Replenishing Draught, Pain-Relieving Potion and Essence of Phoenix Tears. Then, finally, when his breathing seemed easier, she slipped a bezoar into his mouth, forcing it down his throat.
When he began to cough, Mifty stepped back. “Master Snape?” Her eyes widened as he smiled up at her. The Headmaster never smiled. “Sir?”
“Hello there.” Master Snape coughed, his voice raspy, faint. “And just who are you?” He frowned. “Come to think of it, who am I?”
Backing away, Mifty knew immediately that something was clearly very wrong. “Oh no!” Mifty knew she would have to iron her ears for days to make up for this. She was in so much trouble. “I has broken Master Snape!”
***
“You really don’t have to do this, Harry.” Hermione looked earnest as she spoke. “You don’t owe him anything.”
“Maybe not, but I owe his mother. She could have told Voldemort I wasn’t really dead that night in the forest.” Harry sighed. “They were scared and pathetic, Hermione; not evil, just frightened.”
“And what about Snape?” She crossed her arms. “You’ve been pushing awfully hard to get him an Order of Merlin for the past year.”
Harry chewed his bottom lip. “He wasn’t evil either. You saw his memories, he was on our side all along.”
Hermione shook her head. “He wouldn’t do this for you, nor would the Malfoys if the tables were turned.”
“That could be true, too, but we’re trying to change things, right?” Harry smiled. “I have to at least try to get Snape’s name cleared. And if I’m not willing to give the Malfoys a chance, who will?”
Shaking her head, she leaned in and kissed his cheek. “You’re a generous person, Harry. Good luck today.”
Harry chuckled. “Thanks.” He made a face. “By the way, have I mentioned how much I really hate appearing before the Wizengamot?”
“You have.” She patted his arm. “But at least this time you’re not the one on trial.”
“Yeah.” Harry shivered, recalling that day. It had been the first time he’d seen Dolores Umbridge, the first time he’d realised that there were people in authority in the Wizarding world who weren’t interested in the truth, just in promoting their own world view. “Thank goodness.”
Glancing towards the clock on the mantel, Hermione said, “What time’s the Malfoy hearing?”
“In a couple of hours.” Standing up, Harry walked to the Floo. “Which means I should go now. We all know how they love to mess up the timing of hearings. I’ll let you know how it went later, all right?”
“Okay.” Hermione waved. “Ron should be here later, too.” She coughed. “And Ginny.”
“I figured she would be, she does live here, after all,” Harry said. “And that’s not a problem.” When Hermione made a face, he laughed. “I’m serious! We broke up on good terms. She’s happy with Neville and I’m happy with...myself.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Are you?”
Shaking his head, Harry held up his hand as if swearing an oath. “Promise,” he said. “Now I have got to go.”
After throwing some Floo powder into the fireplace, the last thing Harry saw was Hermione’s concerned face. He sighed.
***
Harry’s part in the Malfoy trial was over far quicker than he expected. The Wizengamot interrogators had already heard most of the evidence by the time he arrived and he only ended up having to be there for about twenty minutes.
During his testimony he spoke quietly, answering questions from both the Wizengamot and the Malfoys’ defending barrister before being excused. At least Malfoy’s looking a lot less pathetic than the last time I saw him, Harry thought, eyeing Draco before slipping out of the courtroom.
Once outside, he lingered in the hallway, hoping to see what the verdict would be. He spun as a familiar voice called his name. “Harry? Here for the Malfoy trial?”
“Kingsley. Hello!” Shaking Kingsley’s, hand, Harry nodded. “Yes. I just finished in there. I was hoping to hear the verdict before I left.”
“It will be interesting,” Kingsley said. “Although Lucius Malfoy does always seem to land on his feet. He’s been written off before and somehow he always rebounds.” He shook his head. “I imagine the Malfoys’ barrister will have made the most of your willingness to testify on their behalf.”
Harry chuckled. “Yes. Still that is his job, right? And I do owe Mrs Malfoy, she didn’t have to put herself on the line the way she did.”
“If you say so.” Kingsley smiled. “You’re a good man, Harry.”
Harry blushed. “Thanks. So what’s all this talk about you becoming Minister?” he said, trying to change the topic.
Kingsley shook his head. “I’ve been asked to consider it.” He shrugged. “I’m not sure the job is worth it, however. Politics was never really my forte.”
“But think of all the good you could do. From what I can see you at least would listen to evidence and not just do what’s easy or popular,” Harry said, tone slightly bitter.
Kingsley raised an eyebrow. “Snape again?”
Harry sighed. “They denied my request! They wouldn’t even look at the memories I provided, or at Dumbledore’s diary.” He coughed as Kingsley stared at him, expression speculative. “Anyway, I think you’d be a brilliant Minister.”
“Not the least because I would allow you to present your evidence in defence of Snape.” Kingsley smiled.
“Not only because of that!” Harry shook his head. “I really do think you’d be great.” Even if you didn’t help me clear Snape’s name.
“That’s very flattering.” Kingsley’s smile indicated he probably knew what Harry was thinking. Harry coughed. “We’ll have to see what happens,” he continued. “Anyway, it looks as if you’re about to get your answer about the Malfoys. Apparently there’s a verdict.”
They both turned to see the entire Malfoy family emerge from the courtroom. Lucius was smiling, chatting with his barrister and Narcissa, Draco was looking around as if searching for someone. There were no Aurors in sight.
“Well, I guess that’s that,” Harry said, glancing away from the tight-knit group to focus on Kingsley. “Looks like they were acquitted.”
Kingsley shook his head. “I’m not surprised. As I said, Lucius Malfoy always lands on his feet.” He patted Harry’s shoulder. “Anyway, I have to go, but I’ll probably see you soon. And I do hope you’ll be attending the Auror recruitment meeting next month. We’d love to have you.”
“I’m seriously considering it.” Nodding, Harry said goodbye to Kingsley and was almost at the Atrium before he heard someone calling his name. “Potter!”
He spun, surprised to see Draco chasing him. “Malfoy?”
Catching up with him, Draco looked around, gesturing towards an alcove. “May I have a word in private?”
Intrigued, Harry nodded, following Draco. Once they were out of earshot of the passing Ministry workers, Harry faced Draco expectantly. “What is it?”
Draco cleared his throat. “First off, thank you for testifying on our behalf. I’m aware that you didn’t have to, and given our...history, it was a really decent thing to do.”
Surprised, Harry nodded. “Yeah, no worries. You and your mum did help me during the war after all.”
“We did the minimum, but thank you anyway.” Draco’s eyes darted around as if looking for spies. “The other thing is...I understand you’re trying to get Snape acquitted of all charges so he qualifies for an Order of Merlin.”
“Yes.” Harry’s eyes narrowed. “Why?”
“That’s my question for you, actually. Why are you going to so much trouble for him?” Draco crossed his arms, eyes boring into Harry’s. “I thought you hated him. What’s in it for you?”
“I don’t hate him. I owe him my life.” Harry exhaled. “He was my mum’s best friend when they were growing up, and even at the very end he gave me his memories so that I’d know what to do, would understand how to defeat Voldemort.” Harry sighed. “I definitely owe him.”
“And is it true that you have his memories? That you’re trying to submit them as evidence to get him acquitted?”
Harry nodded, feeling defensive. “Yes. What’s it to you?”
“Severus is-was my godfather,” Draco said. “I was just curious about your motives.”
“He saved me more times that I can count, so I suppose this is my way of trying to give back. I only wish I could have actually saved his life,” Harry said.
“Do you?” Draco pursed his lips, then nodded as if to himself. “All right. Look, I can’t tell you why, but would you come to the Manor tomorrow? I know it’s a lot to ask, and if you’re worried bring the weas--Weasley and Granger, but there’s...something you need to see.”
Puzzled, Harry stared at Draco. “You want me to come to your house?”
Draco huffed. “I promise you’ll be safe, Potter. No one will try to hurt you. I’ll swear an Unbreakable Vow if you want, just, please come. And bring Snape’s memories with you, will you?”
Against his better judgement, Harry found himself agreeing. “Hermione and Ron will be with me, though,” he warned.
“As I said, that’s fine.” Moving past him, Draco said, “About eleven, all right? I’ll open the wards to you and your friends.”
Harry nodded, and as he watched Draco go, he couldn’t help but wonder what he might be up to.
***
“You want us to go where?” Hermione was staring at Harry as if he’d gone mad. For a moment, Harry wondered if he had.
He blushed. “Draco asked me to come to the Manor,” he repeated. “And he asked me to bring you guys with me, but if you don’t want to come--”
“We don’t,” Ron muttered, shovelling in his second helping of dessert as fast as humanly possible. “Why give them a second opportunity to murder us?”
Harry rolled his eyes. “They’re not going to murder us. Tell him, Hermione.”
Hermione raised an eyebrow.
Harry sighed. “My testimony helped get them all acquitted. They wouldn’t hurt us, not now. Draco even said he’d take an Unbreakable Vow if it’d make me feel better.”
“Well of course he would say that just to get us there,” Ron said.
“Actually, I think we should go.”
Both Harry and Ron stared at Hermione.
“Er, ’Mione?” Ron said, tone hesitant. “Are you sure? The last trip wasn’t exactly pleasant. I mean--”
“I know what you mean.” She sighed. “And you’re right, it wasn’t pleasant. Bellatrix tortured me. But I just refuse to let those memories haunt me anymore. So I say we go and see what they want.” She crossed her arms. “But if they try anything at all I won’t be responsible for what I do.”
“Don’t worry,” Harry said, placing his hand over hers. “If they try anything, I won’t be either.”
“Ditto,” Ron said. “And I’m telling everyone we know where we’re going and when, so if we disappear, people will descend on Malfoy Manor like a plague of locusts.”
Harry blinked. “A plague of locusts?”
Ron grinned. “I’ve been reading this Muggle book of Hermione’s--”
Harry held up a hand. “Yeah, okay. Well, whatever sort of plague you want to call down on them is fine with me if they try anything dodgy.”
“What are you guys up to, then?” came a voice from behind Harry. Ginny, having pushed open the kitchen door, was standing there looking between the three of them. She crossed her arms when no one said anything. “You look like you’re plotting something.”
“No,” all three of them said in unison.
Ginny raised an eyebrow. “Uh huh,” she said. “That was convincing.”
Harry coughed. “Really, nothing’s going on. Where’s Neville?”
“Nice attempt to change the subject,” Ginny said. “But it won’t work. If there’s something going on I want to know. I think I’ve a right to know this time.”
“There’s nothing going on, Ginny, we swear,” Harry said, standing up. Yet. “If there were, you’d be the first to know. Really.”
She rolled her eyes. “I’d be the last to know, you mean. Fine, keep your secrets.” Walking over to the table, she snagged an apple from the bowl and bit into it, chewing. “And to answer your question, Neville’s working late at the nursery tonight, so he won’t be here until after ten.” She smirked. “Perhaps we could play a game in the meantime. How about truth or dare?”
Harry shook his head. One thing about Ginny was that she never gave up. “How about Exploding Snap?” he countered.
“Sound good to me,” Ron said quickly, getting to his feet as Hermione cleared away his plate. “I’ll just get the cards.”
“Wimps,” Ginny muttered.
They played a rousing game, with Ginny dropping hints about every ten minutes. By the time Neville arrived, Harry was relieved to see him. “Well, I’m off,” he announced as soon as Neville had been there fifteen minutes. “Big day tomorrow.”
“Oh?” Ginny asked, smirking.
Hermione came to the rescue. “Yes. Harry and Ron are helping me with a...project tomorrow. I’ll see you at ten-forty, Harry?”
Harry smiled gratefully. “I’ll be there. Goodnight!”
Back in his empty house, Harry went to retrieve Snape’s memories. Holding up the bottle, he eyed the swirling silver liquid thoughtfully. He’d watched each memory dozens of times, he now knew Snape inside and out. I wonder what Malfoy wants with these?
Sighing, he placed the bottle on his nightstand so he wouldn’t forget it in the morning. That night he dreamt of the scene in the Shack, saw Nagini attack Snape, saw all the blood, the way the light seemed to leak out of Snape’s eyes, only this time in his dream, he somehow saved Snape.
***
“Are you sure this is a wise course of action, dear? Inviting those people to our home may be a mistake.” Narcissa took a sip of her tea.
Draco sighed, almost wishing he hadn’t told his mother his plan. Maybe then he could have had a peaceful breakfast. “There’s clearly something wrong with him, Mother, and they may be able to help.”
“But why would they want to?” Narcissa frowned. “It’s not as if they owe him anything, and they’re not even Slytherins.”
“Potter obviously cares, Mother. He’s spent a year fighting to get Severus an Order of Merlin. That has to mean something.”
Narcissa sniffed. “Working to get Severus a posthumous award doesn’t mean Potter would be willing to go the extra step and see him completely exonerated in the public eye.”
“I had to try.” Draco leaned forward. “I...haven’t mentioned anything to Father and I’d appreciate it if we could keep this visit quiet.”
Narcissa nodded. “That’s wise at least. He could tolerate Potter, but if that Mudbloo--” Draco’s cough made her pause. “Muggle-born girl shows up, he may not react very well.”
Draco sighed. “Perhaps I should be the one to greet them when they get here,” he suggested gently.
She sighed. “That is probably for the best. Merlin, but we live in new times.” Standing up, Narcissa patted his shoulder. “And I’m sure I can think of some way to keep your father...occupied and in his study.”
From the smirk on her face, Draco got an idea about how she would do that. Yet another thing I do not need to contemplate. He was happy that his parents were so obviously in love and yet... He took a sip of tea to hide his embarrassment. “Thank you.”
Breakfast had just been cleared away when Bippy appeared, declaring that Draco’s visitors had arrived.
Squaring his shoulders, Draco walked to the entrance hallway where he found Potter, Weasley and Granger waiting. Granger seemed tense; Draco couldn’t blame her. “Thank you all for coming.”
Potter nodded. “I brought Snape’s memories just like you asked.”
“Not before you tell us what’s going on,” Granger interrupted, sounding belligerent. “Why exactly are we here, Malfoy?”
“If you’ll let me, I’ll show you,” Draco replied coolly.
There was a brief, whispered conversation in which Weasley and Granger seemed to be arguing with Potter until finally, Potter shook his head and stepped forward. “Lead the way,” he said.
Inclining his head, Draco set off, leading them through the house and out into the gardens. As they approached the guest house, he slowed. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t make any loud noises. He’s not the man you remember.”
“What are you on about now?” Weasley muttered. “Honestly, if someone doesn’t tell me what’s going on soon--” As they rounded the corner, Weasley’s mouth dropped open. “Bloody hell!”
Ignoring the group behind him, Draco approached Severus, hand extended. “Good morning, Severus.”
Severus, on his knees in the dirt, looked up. “Hello, Draco.” He glanced over Draco’s shoulder, spotting Potter, Granger and Weasley. Interestingly, his eyes seemed to linger on Potter. “I see you brought visitors today.” He smiled, wiping his hand on a rag before shaking Draco’s. “Some warning would have been nice.”
“Pro-Professor Snape?” Granger stammered. “Is it really you?”
“Professor?” Severus’ eyebrow went up.
Draco coughed. “Severus, these are former students at Hogwarts, just as I was.” He glanced towards Potter, who was strangely silent even as he stared at Severus. “We were all in the same year at school.”
“I see.” Severus rose to his feet. “And you’re hoping that they can help me with my...problem?”
“Help you?” Potter looked back and forth between Severus and Draco. “Help you do what? What problem?”
Severus eyed Potter speculatively. “Why regain my memory of course.” He gestured towards the guest house. “Perhaps we should all step inside.”
Draco nodded. “Good idea.” Turning toward a clearly gobsmacked Potter and friends, he smirked. “Coming?”
***
Merlin, Snape actually looks good, Harry thought as he followed Snape inside. He wore fitted blue jeans and a white shirt that was unbuttoned at the throat revealing faded scars.
The guest house was cosy, furnished with comfortable chairs and sofas. An entire wall was lined with bookcases overflowing with books and in a corner a calico cat slowly turned to look at them before returning to its nap.
Harry’s hands were trembling as he sat down on a chair in Snape’s living room. Well, but is it really Snape’s? he thought, looking around. It’s attached to Malfoy Manor, so I guess that makes it Draco’s. Harry wasn’t sure why that thought bothered him so much.
“Perhaps we should have tea,” Snape said. “Mifty!”
A house-elf appeared, her eyes widening when she saw them. “Master Snape has visitors!” she squeaked.
“He does...I mean, I do,” Snape said. “Bring tea and biscuits, please.”
No one said anything until after the tea and biscuits had been delivered. Draco kept eyeing Harry, Ron and Hermione as if wondering if he should Obliviate them. Harry couldn’t actually blame him. “How are you here, sir?” he blurted out, unable to contain his curiosity.
Snape leaned back in his seat, cradling his teacup in his hands. “That question is best directed towards Mifty, I believe. It’s my understanding that she is the one responsible for saving me, on order of Draco’s parents.” He and Draco exchanged a long look.
Harry sat forward. “You don’t remember anything at all?”
“Indeed not, Mr--?”
“Potter.” Harry paused, but Snape showed no signs of recognition. “Harry Potter. These are my friends, Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley.”
Ron, who’d just picked up a chocolate digestive, waved.
“I see.” Snape looked them over. “And you were all my students, I gather?”
“Yes, sir.” Harry smiled. “For many years.”
Snape nodded. “I understand you are in possession of my memories, Mr Potter.”
Harry nodded. “Some of them, yes.”
“Indeed. And how is that?” Snape eyed Harry, and for a moment he looked like the intimidating professor and spy Harry remembered.
Harry cleared his throat. “You gave them to me, actually. It was under some rather...odd circumstances.” Harry glanced towards Draco, who took the hint.
“I have another engagement, so if you’ll excuse me?” Draco rose. “I’ll see you later, Severus.” The sight of Draco patting Snape’s arm and then smiling at each other made Harry grit his teeth.
“Actually, I think we should go, too,” Hermione said, standing up. “Right, Ron?”
Ron, his mouth full of biscuit crumbs, looked puzzled. “Huh? Why?”
“We have that project, remember?” Hermione nudged him.
“What project?” Ron winced as she grabbed his arm and pulled him out of his seat. “Oh! Er, sure, right.” He scooped up some more biscuits before Hermione manoeuvred him towards the exit.
“I’ll show you two out,” Draco said, shooting a speculative look at Harry before sailing past Ron and Hermione and out the door.
Once everyone else was gone, the atmosphere lightened considerably as Snape and Harry sized each other up.
Harry took a sip of tea then spoke. “What do you remember, sir?”
“My first memory is of waking up in Malfoy Manor with Mifty looking down at me.” Snape sighed. “I was...quite ill. Evidently I had been attacked by some sort of venomous animal. She found me, brought me here and fed me anti-venom and other potions and I healed slowly over the subsequent months.”
“That must have been right after you gave me your memories,” Harry said. “You’d been bitten by Nag--a large snake and you were dying. Or so we thought.” He bit his lip. “I’m sorry we left you, sir, we didn’t know what else to do and Vold--”
Snape shook his head. “It was during a battle, or so I was told. I’ve read about Voldemort and all that he did as well. I may not remember much of my life, but I do know that things...happen during war. Be absolved of any guilt you may feel for having left me, Mr Potter.” Extending his left arm, he pulled his shirt sleeve up. “My actions over the years have clearly not been blameless.”
“Call me Harry.” Harry blushed as Snape raised an eyebrow. “If you like.”
“Were we...close, Harry?” Snape asked a moment later. “I ask because when you arrived you looked...familiar to me, although I’m not sure why.”
“Well, you could say that we...interacted a lot,” Harry said after a short hesitation. “I wasn’t exactly your...best student, though.”
To his surprise, Snape laughed, a deep, resonant sound that Harry wished he’d heard more often as a student. “Yes, I imagine we would have argued a time or two. You strike me as a very...headstrong young man.”
Harry grinned. “Yeah, I’ve heard that before.”
After the laughter died down, they stared at each other, the air between them thickening with unspoken meaning. Suddenly uncomfortable, Harry looked away, reaching for a biscuit. Snape chose that moment to do the same, and as his fingers brushed the back of Harry’s hand, Harry shivered. Snape drew back immediately. “After you.”
“Thanks.” After popping the biscuit in his mouth, Harry continued. “So about your memories--”
Snape nodded. “Draco said he asked you to bring them with you today.”
“He did and I did.” Reaching into his robes, Harry pulled out the bottle of memories, placing it on the table between them. “I’m not sure you should view them all at once, though. It could be a bit of a shock.”
“Indeed.” Snape stared at the bottle, eyes unreadable. “Perhaps I should start with an early, innocuous memory.”
Harry smiled. He knew the memories very well, having perused them many times over. “I think I know just the one. Do you have a Pensieve?”
It turned out he did and, after placing it on the table, Snape watched Harry carefully as he poured the memories into a separate bowl before pulling one silvery strand out with his wand. Placing it into the Pensieve, Harry swirled it around, watching the images that rose to the surface. Finally, he nodded. “Try this one. Do you know how Pensieves work?”
Gesturing towards the books, Snape smirked. “While my memory may be faulty, my reading and comprehension abilities are not. I am aware of how they work.” Exhaling, Snape leaned forward, dipping his head into the Pensieve.
Harry had finished his tea and a few more biscuits by the time Snape pulled his head out of the Pensieve.
“Are you all right?” Harry asked as Snape blinked, pushing his hair back out of his face. “Too much?”
“No, and I’m fine.” Snape stared intently at him. “You have her eyes.”
Harry smiled tentatively. “Yes. She was my mother.”
“Ah.” Snape sat back. “Lily...Evans, wasn’t it?” He looked down at his hands. “I remember her now. We were neighbours. She was a good friend. Is she...doing well?”
Harry’s eyes widened. Merlin. “I...She died when I was a baby, actually,” he said, tone soft. “I’m sorry.”
Snape looked shocked. “Died? How--?” He paused. “I suppose I’ll see how soon enough, won’t I?” He shook his head. “And I should be saying that to you, Harry. She was your mother.”
“She meant a lot to both of us,” Harry said. “And you knew her better than I did, actually.”
Reaching for his cup, Snape took a sip then grimaced. “I believe I’ll need something stronger to get through this,” he said. “Any objections?”
Harry nodded. “I think you’re probably right.”
Tea fortified with brandy did seem to make the viewing a bit easier for Snape, who sailed through his next few adolescent memories without comment, although every time he took his head out of the Pensieve he eyed Harry speculatively. As time went on, however, he grew quieter, making Harry more nervous with each subsequent memory.
When they got to the memory of Harry’s mother’s death, Harry’s hand was shaking. “Are you sure you don’t want to take a break?” he asked as he extracted the memory.
Snape’s eyes narrowed. “Just show me, Potter,” he said.
“Harry,” Harry reminded him, placing it in the Pensieve.
Without replying, Snape dipped his head and Harry spent a harrowing few minutes worrying about what Snape’s reaction would be.
When Snape finally emerged, his face was wet. He stared wordlessly at Harry for a long moment before standing up and stalking out of the room. Even his walk looked different. Yes, he’s starting to remember, Harry thought.
Snape had been gone for about twenty minutes before Harry went looking for him, finding him in a sunroom off the side of the house. “Would you like me to go?” he asked, tone soft.
Snape, who had been staring out the window into the garden, stiffened. “That will not be necessary.”
Harry sighed. Snape sounded like his old self, cool and distant. “If it’s too much, we can stop doing this for today and resume tomorrow,” he offered.
Spinning, Snape glared at him. “How can you bear to even look at me, Harry?” he snapped. “I am responsible for your mother’s death!”
“No!” Harry cried, moving closer. “Voldemort killed her, not you. You were tricked by him, just like everyone else.”
“You don’t know that--”
“I do,” Harry insisted. “And Dumbledore did, too. That’s why he gave you a chance to redeem yourself. That’s why this time we defeated Voldemort, because of your help, your sacrifices. But for you, we wouldn’t have won. You saved me and the wizarding world.”
Snape’s mouth worked for a moment. “But I couldn’t save her,” he finally whispered. “My dearest friend, and I betrayed her.”
“You saved me, though,” Harry said softly, reaching out and clasping Snape’s arm. “I know it doesn’t make up for everything, but I’m very grateful.”
Snape shook his head. “You are a lot like her,” he said. “Very forgiving. Even after I called her a--” he paused, “--that name, she was prepared to forgive me, but I was so angry with her for choosing James Potter over me that I joined the Death Eaters.”
“Everyone does...stupid things when they’re young.” Harry smiled. “I’m sure as soon as you remember more you’ll be happy to point out my mistakes to me in case I may have missed them.” He coughed. “Are you up for more, or--?”
“Yes.” Snape placed his hand over Harry’s. “Give me a moment and we shall resume.” Moving away from Harry, he hesitated, turning to look at him. “I look forward to reliving our first meeting.”
As Harry watched him leave, he stroked the spot Snape had touched, missing the brief warmth. We’ll see.
***
When he re-entered his sitting room a few minutes later, Severus found Harry waiting, Pensieve cleared and ready. The collection of unviewed memories was still larger than the ones he had already looked through, making Severus wonder if he would need several days to do this.
Draco had indicated that Harry would probably be willing to do whatever was necessary to help him, but Severus hadn’t believed him. Yet Harry showed no signs of losing interest, in fact, he was being extraordinarily patient. It made Severus wonder about the exact nature of their relationship. We can’t have been...romantically involved. He was my student. Still, something about the way Harry was acting made Severus wonder.
Harry looked up at him and Severus felt the look to his toes. And there’s clearly a spark between us. “Apologies for the delay.”
“It’s no problem,” Harry replied, setting his wand on his lap. “Would you like to take a break from viewing memories? You don’t have to look at them all today, we can start again tomorrow--”
“I would like to continue,” Severus said, tone firm. “I may not be able to assimilate everything today, but that last memory is not where I would like to stop.”
Harry nodded. “I understand.” With his wand, he extracted a memory, placing it in the Pensieve and peering at the patterns it made in the water. “Try this one.”
Severus watched memories all afternoon, Harry sitting with him the entire time, pulling them out in chronological order. After each memory, ten or twelve other recollections followed, thoughts that Harry wouldn’t have had access to, but that surfaced with the prodding of the key memories he was reliving.
He saw his first encounter with Harry at eleven, cringing at his own sour and caustic attitude and yet understanding the necessity for it, given his role of double spy. He watched Harry mature, his admiration of Harry’s tenacity and bravery tempered by his shame at his own, albeit necessary behaviour towards his best friend’s son.
Again and again he watched himself verbally quash Hermione Granger’s boundless intellectual curiosity, and when Harry showed real sparks of genius in Defence Against the Dark Arts, Severus saw himself pretend not to notice.
He argued endlessly with Albus Dumbledore, wept when he was forced to agree to kill him ‘all for the greater good’ and the night he’d actually had to do the deed, while being watched by Bellatrix for any sign of care or weakness, something inside Severus died, too.
All through it, Harry sat across from him, a steadfast, anchoring presence.
Raising his head from the Pensieve, Severus sighed. “That’s enough for today.”
Harry nodded, removing the memory and placing it back into the bottle. There were only a few unseen memories left, but Severus felt wrung dry, drained.
“If you’d like, we can continue this tomorrow,” Harry offered.
Glancing out the window, Severus was surprised to note that the shadows were lengthening. It’s late. He had spent the day regaining his memories, some good, most painful. Looking at Harry with new eyes, he felt no small measure of pride at the young man he’d turned into. A man who doesn’t need to be associated with an ex-Death Eater. “That is not necessary,” Severus said, tone cool. “You have done your duty in restoring my memories. I can manage the rest on my own.” He rose. “Good evening, Potter.”
“I thought we agreed you were going to call me Harry?” Harry smiled and Severus’ heart twisted in his chest.
“That was before my memories were restored and I recalled the details of our association.” Severus kept his expression blank, immediately realising how difficult a task it was after having lived a relatively peaceful and open life for a year. “I assume you have better things to do than coddle a crippled old man.”
Was that hurt that crossed Harry’s face? Biting his lip, Harry shook his head. “You’re not crippled and you’re definitely not old. And I can’t think of anything I’d rather be doing right now. I want to see your name cleared and you being given the accolades you deserve.”
“Ah, so this is all out of some sense of misplaced guilt?” Severus sneered. Amazing how quickly it comes back, he thought. “Go home, Potter. I’m sure your girlfriend will be happy to help you forget your old professor. You have fulfilled any obligation to me.”
Harry’s eyes narrowed. “For your information I don’t have a girlfriend. As I said before, there’s no place I’d rather be right now.” Raising his wand, he placed it on his forehead. “I think there’s another memory you need to see.”
“There’s no need to--” But Harry had already placed the silvery ribbon into the Pensieve. He sat back down. “Very well. If I look at this, you’ll leave?”
“If you still want me to go after you see it, then yes, I will.” He smiled, making Severus shiver. “But something tells me you won’t want me to.”
Severus lowered his head.
He was in a tent; the brazier was burning, casting a warm glow on the canvas. The Wizarding Wireless was playing softly in the background.
On a cot, Harry was lying on his stomach, a vaguely familiar parchment spread out in front of him.
Severus moved closer. The parchment had markings on it... He gasped. It was a map of Hogwarts, and there were moving dots on the paper. Harry seemed focussed on one specific one.
The wireless was scratchy but Severus made out a couple of words.
“--Headmaster Severus Snape--”
Harry’s head popped up and he smiled, his finger tracing a dot labelled Severus Snape that was circling the Headmaster’s office.
With a sigh, Harry turned over onto his back and, setting the parchment aside, stared up at the canvas ceiling. Shifting he spread his legs, the bulge of his erection unmistakable.
Severus swallowed hard. He’d been prepared to drive Harry away because he knew nothing could ever happen between them, but he was still Slytherin enough to accept this gift!
Closing his eyes, Harry slipped his hand into his sleep pants, moaning as he cupped his erection. With his other hand, he shoved the thin cotton fabric low onto his hips and Severus got his first sight of Harry’s body.
Compact and well-proportioned, Harry looked beautiful in the candlelight as he stroked himself. He bit his lips, gasping as he arched up into his hand. “Please--” he whispered.
“Who are you thinking about?” Severus asked, knowing he couldn’t be heard.
The tendons in Harry’s neck stood out in sharp relief as he thrust up into his fist. “Yes,” he hissed. “Merlin, yes!”
Severus was getting hard just watching, imagining he was the one Harry was thinking about, longing for. Would he have to slip away to relieve himself once he emerged from the Pensieve?
Harry groaned, his thumb circling the tip of his cock as he approached his orgasm. “S--God, Severus!” he cried, coming in rhythmic spurs all over his hand and his stomach.
Eyes widening, Severus backed away.
Now sprawled bonelessly on the cot, Harry was running his fingers through the come coating his stomach. “God, maybe one day, Severus,” he whispered, turning to stare at the map. “Mischief managed.”
Back in reality, Severus discovered two things. One: the reactions his body experienced in the Pensieve did translate to the real world, he was painfully hard when he emerged, and two: Harry had been right, Severus didn’t want him to go. “This will never work.”
Harry raised an eyebrow. “Why don’t you let me worry about that?”
“You don’t want me, you can’t.”
“And yet you’ve seen the evidence.” Harry collected the memory, deliberately setting it in the bottle where Severus’ were stored. “Would you like to see another?”
In that moment, Severus knew he’d met his match. “No.” Rising from his chair he held out his hand. “Not in the Pensieve, anyway. I require a more...practical demonstration.”
Beaming, Harry accepted Severus’ hand. “I think we both require food first.”
Severus inclined his head. “Mifty!”
The elf appeared, squeaking when she saw her master still had a visitor. “Master Snape is needing dinner?” She eyes their entwined fingers. “Romantic dinner?”
Scowling, Severus drew breath to blast the creature, but stopped when Harry squeezed his hand. “Yes, it appears so,” he said, tone mild. “Serve it in my room.”
“Do you usually eat by yourself?” Harry asked as Severus drew him towards his bedroom.
“No, I usually join the Malfoys for dinner.” Severus coughed. “I imagine someone will be checking on me as soon as dinner is over.”
“It’ll probably be Draco,” Harry muttered.
Severus smirked. “Perhaps. You object to Draco?”
“I object to him touching you.”
Severus chuckled. “There is little danger of that. I’m hardly his type.”
“Good.”
Blinking at the novel thought that someone was actually feeling proprietary about him, Severus opened the door to his bedroom. “Tomorrow I view the rest of those memories,” he warned. “You’re sure you wish to do this before I have seen them all?”
“You worry too much.” Harry moved through, pulling Severus after him. “Trust me, you won’t see anything that will change what we do tonight.”
Severus sighed as Harry drew him towards the bed. “We shall see.”
***
Harry tried not to look too anxious but it was difficult. So much was riding on this verdict, he’d worked so hard, and while Severus pretended not to care, Harry knew that it mattered to him--
The Wizengamot interrogator stood, parchment unrolled before her. “In the matter of the Ministry of Magic versus Severus Snape, the court finds him innocent of all charges, acquitted by benefit of the testimony of Harry James Potter and the posthumous testimony of Albus Dumbledore.”
Closing his eyes in relief, Harry’s eyes popped open as she continued. “Furthermore, it is the finding of this court that Severus Snape is to be awarded the Order of Merlin, First Class, in appreciation of his service to the wizarding world in time of great need.”
The courtroom erupted in chatter and a smattering of applause. Glancing to his left, Harry saw Draco staring at him. When he knew Harry was watching, he inclined his head before standing and slipping out.
“Congratulations, Harry,” Kingsley, seated in the row in front him, said. “Now if only Severus were alive to see this.”
Harry grinned. Kingsley knew very well exactly where Severus was. “Who knows? He may show up one of these days.”
“We can only hope.” Winking, Kingsley rose and exited the chamber.
The interrogator, off her podium, approached Harry and smiled. “Something tells me this should be given to you for safekeeping,” she murmured, extending a flat box. “I trust you will see it makes it into the right hands.”
Eyes wide, Harry accepted it, nodded. “I promise.”
Once outside the courtroom, he pondered sending a quick Patronus message to Hermione and Ron, who were eagerly awaiting the news of the verdict, then he shook his head. There was only one place he wanted to be.
Hurrying towards a Floo, Harry stepped inside and emerged inside Severus’ now familiar cottage. Brushing off his robes, he walked outside into the sunny garden.
Severus looked up. “I take it you have news?”
“I do.” Walking towards him, Harry grinned. “Congratulations on your Order of Merlin and on your acquittal.”
“Indeed.” Severus looked back at his plants, but his cool demeanour didn’t fool Harry. “That is...surprising.”
“Not at all,” Harry said, kneeling down beside him and picking up a handful of seeds. “Would you like some help?”
“Do I have a choice?” Severus deadpanned. “I don’t seem to be able to get rid of you.”
Harry grinned as they worked side by side. “Nope. You’re stuck with me no matter what.”
***
Inside, Mifty watched her Master Snape and his Harry Potter and she smiled. Her master may have been broken, but now he was whole.