|occasusvenustas (occasusvenustas) wrote in snape_potter,|
@ 2008-01-11 08:08:00
|Entry tags:||fic, occasusvenustas, rating: r|
Title: Always The Hero
Pairing: Harry/Severus, Remus/Sirius with past mentions of Severus/OC
Rating: R (over all)
Summary: Harry Potter is always trying to play the hero. How will Snape react to Harry mucking about in his business again?
Warnings: Mentions of Snape/female, Babies (but no mpreg), canon compliant with only a handful of characters.
Disclaimer: I don't own any Harry Potter
A/N:: This is going to have two or three chapters, and I'm going to update as quickly as I can, but I make no major promises :p Oh and x-posted.
A/N:: So my hiatus has gone on its own hiatus, thus leaving me available for some fanficcing. So you are all graced with some Snarry. I'm thinking two or three chapters to this fic, depending on how things go. I have a middle and an ending planned out but the connective bits are always what get me. Anyhow I hope you enjoy and please R and R. :)
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Harry opened his door and grinned at his dear friend, Remus Lupin. "Finally," Harry said. He didn't bother to invite Remus in, quickly leading the way down the corridor, to the stairs. "I've been desperate for a night out with pleasant company."
"Pleasant company?" Remus asked with a small smile.
Harry shrugged. "I love Ron and Hermione, really I do, but Ron's a little too desperate for conversation that doesn't involve nappies or developmental charts of babies, that he's gotten a bit annoying. And it's really annoying to watch Hermione stare at her watch and mutter things that her children could be choking on or lighting on fire."
"Well they are Weasleys," Remus said with a wink.
Harry laughed. "I just want to get properly pissed and forget about everything."
"I can't say I blame you there," Remus said. "As pleased as I am to have Teddy off at Hogwarts... and bloody hell did it feel like an eternity until he turned eleven... it's still constant worry, owls from Molly asking me this or that, people still worried that I fret over Tonks..."
"You brought that on yourself for not telling them the truth about you two," Harry scolded. They walked down the street and reached the corner where they could choose between Wizard and Muggle London. "Are you ever going to?"
"No real point now, is there?" Remus said. "So what'll you have, Harry?"
"Wizard, I think," Harry said with a nod. "That way I can get pissed and not worry about acting like a Muggle."
"Fair enough," Remus said and led the way into the back alley where they could reach the streets of Wizarding London. Remus pointed down the long alley to a pub in the distance. "Best one, eh?"
"That's fine with me," Harry said, not really caring where they went so long as he could get totally drunk. The pair of them headed down the street until they reached the small, dimly lit pub. Harry took a step forward, but before he could open the door, it swung out at him and a dark-robed figure stumbled out.
It took but a second for Remus and Harry to recognise Severus Snape stumbling out into the street. He caught himself on the railing and looked up with reddened eyes. "Oh look," he slurred, "It's you... with your hair... all... Potter-y." It was clear he was out of his mind drunk and barely coherent.
Harry bit down on his lip, trying not to laugh as he looked over at Remus. "Er, hello there, Severus."
"Oh and you," Severus slurred, leaning towards Remus. "Leew-pin. Come looking fer a full moon, Lew-pin? Have you? Have you!?I'll show you full moon, Lew-pin!" Severus shouted incoherently.
Severus took two steps forward and stumbled down to his knees. Confused and half-amused, Harry tried to pull Snape to his feet but was shoved off by the drunken man. Severus began to half-walk half-crawl to the alleyway where he braced himself on the brick wall.
"Er," Harry said, biting his lip. "This is new."
"I'll say," Remus said, wiping his brow. "Maybe we should do something?"
Harry was reluctant to give up his night of worry-free drinking and he sighed. "Remus..." he started to protest, but Snape began a very loud conversation with the brick wall.
"It's exactly what I mean!" Snape was shouting, jabbing his finger at the wall. "It's just that way, and it's okay because you know what? You know what? You're a wall! You're a wall and you don't do things like get pregnant and tell me six months later! You don't... you don't..." Snape wobbled forward and fell to the ground. He hoisted himself up on all fours and looked over his shoulder at the wall. "You know what it's all about! It's about this!" Snape then hoisted up his robes and pulled down his pants to reveal his naked arse.
Harry and Remus stared, gobsmacked, before Harry got a hold of himself and rushed forward. Tackling Snape, Harry pulled Snape's pants back up. "Eurg," he said with disgust, wiping his hand on his own robes. "What is going on, Snape."
Snape shoved Harry away and sat with his back to the wall. "Pottered on me," he mumbled. "It's just... thing," he mumbled incoherently.
With a sigh, Harry looked at Remus who was trying to stifle his laughter with his hand. "Fuck. I guess we have to try and help him get home, or wherever he's trying to get to."
Remus finally composed himself and walked over to assist Harry in getting Snape to his feet. "Are you living in London, Severus?" Remus asked gently.
"NO!" Severus shouted, sounding utterly offended.
"Okay," Remus said slowly. "Are you staying somewhere near by?"
"Yesh!" Snape said and weaved in between their grasp. "In there," he said, pointing to the pub. "Right there in that bottle of whiskey. So if you don't mind," Snape pulled himself out of their grasp and fell back to the ground again.
Harry rubbed at his forehead. "Fuck," he said again. "We're going to have to take him with us, aren't we?"
Remus looked down. "We could just leave him here."
But at the moment, Severus was shouting at his shoes. "You wouldn't have such a problem if you'd just walk right! You... shoes!"
"My place, then?" Harry offered.
Remus gave Harry an apologetic smile and together they hoisted Severus up again. "Why is it every where I go?" Harry muttered as they started down the street.
They made it back to Muggle London and it wasn't far from there to Harry's flat. Harry got the door to his building open and Remus helped Severus to the stairs. "Alright then, Severus, up we get."
"Up..." Severus slurred, "up your arse!" And then he cackled with laughter.
Harry rolled his eyes and together he and Remus made it up the flights of stairs to Harry's quiet apartment. Inside, Harry turned on the lights and quickly started some coffee while Remus situated Severus on the sofa.
Harry came back into the lounge and sat down next to his former professor. "What's happened, Severus?"
"She thinks this is okay," Severus said, waving his hand about. "And she said so but it's not! You can't just tell me now!"
"Who can't tell you what?" Harry asked.
"That woman! That... what was her name again?" Severus closed his eyes for a long moment. Harry started to think he might've slipped off to sleep when he suddenly shouted, "Amy!"
A bit startled, Harry jumped a little. "Amy?"
"It's why you don't do those things, Potter."
"What things?" Harry asked, trying to hide his smile.
"Vaginas," Severus said utterly seriously.
Harry couldn't contain himself. He buried his face in the crook of his elbow while Remus excused himself to find Severus something to wear that didn't reek of alcohol. Harry could hear Remus' giggles in the back room.
Harry managed to get control of himself after a moment. "Snape, who is Amy and why does she have you so upset?"
"She's that woman, that vagina. Not my fault, I was so drunk and then she just tells me, with these stupid words, and it's her fault because I can't get pregnant."
It dawned on Harry why Snape had been on about pregnancy all night. "Snape, is she pregnant with your child?"
Severus shuddered but didn't answer. Instead he leant in towards Harry and said very quietly, "It's why I don't like women, Potter. It's why I've always liked you. With your eyes and your hair... and..." Severus suddenly kissed Harry.
It was at that moment Remus walked back into the room. Harry quickly threw up his hands to signal that he had nothing to do with the kiss. Severus eventually broke away from Harry, braced himself on Harry's knee and promptly threw up all over Harry's lap.
"Uhg!" Harry said, but before anyone could move, Severus' eyes rolled up into the back of h is head and he hit the floor.
"Well," Remus said, scratching the back of his head.
"Why does this always happen to me? Why?" Harry demanded.
Remus let out a small laugh and said, "Maybe I should stay."
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In the morning, Harry woke to find Severus gone, Remus at the breakfast table and a note lying on the sofa. Harry gave a great yawn and pointed to the note. "From Snape?"
"Yes," Remus said.
"Was he here when you got up?"
Remus nodded. "He didn't say much. He just groaned a lot and then left the note and Disapparated."
Harry picked up the parchment and read it.
Don't feel that our 'moment' last night had anything to do with anything. I do, however, deeply apologise for defiling your robes... and your mouth. Accept this apology because there won't be another from me to you.
Harry had to smile a little as he got himself a cup of tea and sat down across from Remus. "I can't believe he remembers anything about last night."
Remus shrugged and sipped his tea. Harry took a long drink of the tea and let out a large sigh. "Anything you need to talk about?"
Harry shook his head but he knew Remus could see right through him. "Do you think he was serious at all?"
"About what?" Remus inquired, though he knew the answer already.
"Do you think he ever knew how I felt about him?" Harry clarified.
"My guess is no, Harry," Remus said. "No one who knew would have let it slip."
"Do you think he meant what he said?"
Remus sat silent in thought for a while. "Harry, I don't want you to get your hopes up with Snape. He might've meant what he said but getting him to admit it beyond one drunken night might be shooting for the stars."
Harry rubbed his face. "It's like torture."
"I know," Remus said.
Harry looked into his cup of tea. "And this Amy, woman, whoever she might be. Do you really think she's pregnant."
"Absolutely," Remus said. "I've never seen Severus so out of his mind before. He was shaken horribly by something and my guess is, it was that."
Harry looked Remus dead in the eye when he asked, "So what do we do now?"
"What do we do?" Remus repeated. "Are you joking, Harry?"
Harry shook his head emphatically. "We can’t just let him suffer this alone, Remus! I mean, it’s Snape! How’s he going to deal with being a father?"
"The Snape way," Remus said. "He’s probably going to pay her to keep her mouth shut. He’s making a considerable amount of money now and he’s probably going to use that to his advantage. And I can’t say I blame him, Harry. I can’t imagine how Snape would be if he actually had to be a father."
"I can’t believe what I’m hearing!" Harry said. "I know you don’t really like him. I don’t even really like him and I’ve been in love with the bastard for the last seven years. But he’s really taking this hard, Remus. I think he’s taking this hard because he wants to be there for the child."
"I think you’re reading too much into this," Remus said slowly.
"I beg to differ," Harry said. "Leaving my feelings for Snape out of this, we still have to realise he’s about to father a child and we have to try and offer our support."
Before Remus could answer, there was a loud choking noise coming from the doorway, followed by the near-hysterical voice of Harry’s godfather. "Feelings for Snape? Snape having a child? Oh please GOD tell me I’ve walked into something other than what I think I’ve walked into."
Harry rolled his eyes as Sirius took a seat at the table. "Sirius, you’ve known for years now that I’ve fancied-"
"Stop right there," Sirius said loudly. "I’ve heard it once from your mouth and once was enough."
"Grow up," Remus muttered to his lover.
"Please just tell me Snape hasn’t procreated," Sirius said dramatically.
"He has," Harry said.
"Not with you?!" Sirius asked, suddenly looking horrified.
"In case you’ve not noticed," Harry muttered dryly, "I have a penis."
Sirius looked at Harry as though he were suddenly seeing Harry as another being besides human. "Is there something you need to tell me, Harry?"
Harry fought the urge to chuck his teacup at his godfather. "Stop being such an arse, Sirius. This is a delicate matter."
"Actually, it’s really not," Remus said and turned to explain it to Sirius. "Snape’s got some woman pregnant, some woman we don’t even know, mind, and Harry seems to think Snape needs our help with it."
"What?" Sirius asked with a deep frown. "Have you gone round the twist, Harry? You’re asking me to help you with Snape?"
"No," Harry said, "I’m asking Remus to help me with Snape."
Feeling helpless, Remus sighed and rubbed his eyes out of frustration. "What, exactly, do you propose we do?"
"For starters, find this Amy woman and see what the real situation is," Harry said. "Then, I dunno, talk to Snape I guess, and let him know we support him in his decision to be a father."
"I don’t support that decision," Remus said, throwing up his hands. "I’m all for giving Snape a second chance in life, but I’m not for him raising a child. You've seen him with children, Harry. You know how he is."
"It’s different when it’s your own," Harry said.
Remus rolled his eyes. "Harry, this is ridiculous. The only thing Snape will do is hex you to oblivion for mucking about in his affairs. The only reason we know about it is because we found him piss-drunk in an alley."
"He kissed me," Harry pointed out.
Sirius gagged and stared at Harry with a horrified expression. "Snape had his mouth on you? Oh my God!"
"I didn’t hate it," Harry said in a mocking tone. "It didn’t taste fabulous or anything, with all the alcohol and what not, but it felt good to know he fancies me back."
Sirius looked over at Remus with wide eyes. "Tell me this is a lie!"
Remus groaned. "Snape did kiss Harry, and did admit he has had feelings for Harry for a while. But it doesn’t change the fact that Snape was drunk and is never going to admit it whilst sober. So you’d might as well give up, Harry. This is a pointless idea."
Harry crossed his arms. "I won’t give up."
"This is only going to end badly," Remus warned.
"And bloody," Sirius added.
"And you’re both going to eat crow at the end when I’m living with Snape and helping him raise his kid," Harry countered.
Remus threw up his hands in defeat. "It’s your choice, and your life, but I’ll have no part in it."
"Suit yourself," Harry declared. With that, he got up from the breakfast table and set out to make the first of his plans.