SNARRY-A-THON10: FIC: Punishment? Title: Punishment? Author:snarrylover Rating: PG-13 (although closer to PG) Word count: 2,500 Warning(s): (highlight for spoilers) *Cross-dressing, angst, OOC (for Severus)* Prompt: Prompt #119 - As a child, Petunia used to dress Harry up in girl's clothes as a punishment. The trouble is, Harry liked wearing the dresses but knows such a thing is unacceptable in the Wizarding world so he tries to forget about it. But the urges won't go away, what happens when Snape catches up wearing a dress one night? School age Harry, 8th year if chan is not your thing. Summary: After the defeat of Voldemort, Harry feels the need to punish himself. Will Severus be able to help Harry to see that it is not his fault. A/N:If I owned the characters and books the epilogue would have ended with Harry waking from a terrible nightmare and turning over in bed to be consoled by his husband Severus. Thanks to Fidelius for her help, the last line is all her work. Huge super thanks go to my fabulous last minute beta alisanne, but please know that anything still messed up is all my fault. And thanks to the mods at Snarry-a-Thon for helping us to continue to prove that DH was a figment of our imaginations.
Punishment?
Severus Snape was perplexed; a state of being that greatly annoyed him. He liked to know the answers, and when he didn’t readily know them, he worked at finding them until all possible puzzles were solved. His current puzzle revolved around The-Bloody-Annoying-Boy-Turned-Man-Who-Against-All-Odds-Defeated-the-Dark-Lord. Severus couldn’t understand what was going on with him. He defeated the Dark Lord in May and the first issue was that instead of taking his free pass through the Auror Academy, he chose to return with several of his classmates to take his seventh year classes he had missed while on the run the previous year. This went against everything Severus knew about the boy. He never paid attention in class, and seemed to be a mediocre student at best.
The second issue was even more concerning; why wasn’t he basking in the glory? Even his regular sidekicks were using their fame. Granger took her NEWTS during a special session the Ministry offered and was currently attending classes at Wizarding Oxford, and Weasley had accepted the free pass to the Auror Academy, probably a smart move as he would have never passed enough NEWTS. The Potter he “thought” he knew should be surrounding himself with his adoring fans, fending off the girls right and left. The only hanger-on was the girl Weasley, and even then, there was little to no contact between them. Severus had almost been willing to bet that within the next year, Potter and Weasley would be married with the first of the next generation on Potters following quickly. Instead, he often found the girl Weasley in the company of Blaise Zabini, one of his Snakes who had been able to go against the grain and fight for the Light.
In fact, Severus often saw Harry wandering the corridors with a lost look on his face, and he was a little worried that he would one day walk around a corner and find that Harry had done some damage to himself. This was why Severus was still patrolling the halls even though it was after midnight. Finally looking around, he realised that he was on the seventh floor; he didn’t even remember walking up there, but noticed that he was by the Room of Requirement, and that the door was visible, which meant that someone was inside.
Before opening the door, Severus knew that he’d find Potter behind it, and this time he was going to make him answer some questions. Nothing, though, prepared him for what he found.
* * * * *
Harry quickly made his way through the castle under his Invisibility Cloak, not really caring if anyone heard him, but also hoping not to run into anyone. It had been six months since he had finally defeated Lord Voldemort, and while the Wizarding world still proclaimed his wonderful brilliance, Harry knew that it was really the Elder Wand and his “sheer dumb luck,” as McGonagall had once called it, which had really saved the day. Harry couldn’t get over the loss of Remus, Tonks, and Fred. He knew it was his fault; he should have ended it sooner, and he should have gone to Voldemort the first time that he called for him, he should have died in the graveyard, and he should have died with his parents. It was his fault, all his fault, and despite what the rest of the world thought, he knew that he needed to be punished.
Harry knew of one thing that could make him feel a little better. He was on his way to the Room of Requirement to “punish” himself. After pacing three times he opened the door to find the sitting room of number 4 Privet Drive. Harry walked into the room and for a moment expected to hear the shrill voice of his Aunt Petunia, and though the actual voice wasn’t heard, Harry’s mind supplied the words.
“You freak!” his mind’s voice exclaimed. “It’s your fault. Everything is your fault. All you do is ruin things. No one wants to be around you, you embarrass everyone around you. Freak!”
With that thought, the room provided a closet, which Harry knew held his punishment. For as long as Harry could remember, every time he had embarrassed the Dursleys, Petunia, in an attempt to embarrass Harry, would make him wear little girl’s clothes. So Harry walked over to the closet and found several dresses in green, blue, and pink. They were all lacy and frilly, and there were matching tights to go along with them.
Choosing a pink bit of fluff, Harry removed his school uniform and began putting the outfit on. First he put on the knickers, which had a little ruffle along the back, then he put on the tights and black patent leather Mary Janes, and finished with the dress. It had puffy cap sleeves edged in lace, a square cut neck line which almost came down to his nipples. The bodice was close fitting to his hips, and then flared out quickly with a full skirt that came to mid thigh.
Once fully dressed, Harry felt better. He remembered when he had to wear the dresses when he was younger, and far from making him embarrassed, Harry had felt pretty. It had also helped that they were the only clothes he ever wore which actually fit him. Harry twirled around letting the skirt fly out, and realised something he never knew growing up, the satin of the dress felt good sliding on his skin. The way the knickers fit also were causing some new reactions for him.
Harry was glad that the skirt flared out so much as it hid his physical reaction, which would have ruined the line of the dress.
Harry knew it was wrong to feel this good while wearing his dress; it was a punishment not a privilege. As he sat in the large chair conveniently placed for him by the room, Harry started rubbing himself through the dress, but felt something was missing. Every other time he was dressed this way his “family” would be there denigrating him, calling him a freak and a girly boy, pretty much anything that would cause him more embarrassment. While thinking this, Harry heard the door to the room open and knew that the room was helping to punish him; it knew he needed punishment and whatever came through the door was going to help.
* * * * *
Severus was completely shocked to see Harry Potter, Gryffindor Golden Child, The Chosen One, The Vanquisher, whatever name people called him, sitting in a large green chair wearing a pink dress, tights, and little black shoes while pumping his cock as if it were an Olympic sport. However the rapture that Severus expected to see was missing, instead he saw a look that made him want to pull the young man into an embrace and assure him that everything was going to be all right, that he would protect him from whatever he feared.
Clearing his throat, Severus drawled, “What do we have here? Who knew that Harry Potter got off by wearing little girl’s clothes?”
* * * * *
Startled by the voice, Harry looked up and realised that the Room was doing its best to fulfil what he wanted. It wasn’t able to reproduce the non-magical Dursleys, but was obviously able to provide his Hogwarts tormentor, Severus Snape.
Blinking myopically, Harry stuttered, “Pr--Pr--Professor Snape, sir?”
“Amazingly enough, Potter, I do know who I am. What I want to know it what is going through your pea-sized brain?”
“I’m being punished, sir.”
“Why on earth would dressing as a juvenile female be a punishment? And who exactly is punishing you, and for what? The Wizarding world reveres you, Potter. You can do no wrong in their eyes. You defeated the Dark Lord, finally.”
With his lower lip trembling dangerously, as he was close to tears, Harry answered, “My family had two ways of punishing me, sir. As I can’t beat myself, I’m punishing myself the only way I know how. It’s my fault, all of it. Because of me, my parents are gone. Cedric and Sirius. Fred, Remus and Tonks. It’s all my fault. It took me too long.” The trembling became more pronounced as the threatened tears began to fall.
“Teddy is going to grow up without his parents because of me. I wasn’t fast enough. Everyone around me gets hurt. The Weasleys have been the closest to family to me, and Fred’s gone, and Bill’s scarred, and George is missing his ear. It’s all my fault. I deserve to be punished. The cupboard is over there, but I’m too big to fit in it. The Wizarding world only cares about me because I’m a murderer. I see it every time I close my eyes. I hear Voldemort say ‘Kill the Spare’ and see the green light hit Cedric, I see Sirius fall through the veil, I see Dumbledore drinking the potion, begging me to stop, but I kept forcing it down his throat. I see Dobby, dying in my arms because he took a curse for me. I see George lose his ear because he was pretending to be me. I see Fred die right as he was reconciling with Percy, who left his family because of me. I see Remus and Tonks lying there, cold and unmoving. And then I see myself killing Voldemort. Then it repeats, I can’t stop it, and I can’t sleep.”
* * * * *
Severus blinked. “How is it you think you are to blame for all of these things, you self-centred little brat? Pettigrew and Voldemort killed Mr. Diggory, for that you are only at fault for being self-sacrificing and having a Gryffindor’s sense of honour and fair play. Bellatrix is at fault for Black’s death, and Black is culpable for not taking the duel seriously. I also must take some responsibility for not finding a way to reassure you, but I was playing my part as spy. I couldn’t break form in front of Umbridge or my Slytherins.”
“I can only assume that the potion you speak of was while you were retrieving the locket, and knowing Albus as I did, I can also assume that he forced you into an agreement where you had to do what he said, regardless of what came after...correct?”
Taking a seat at Harry’s hesitant nod, he continued. “Dobby was the manic house elf that you liberated from the Malfoys during your second year. Because of that he was, I’m sure, happy that he could do something to help you. If I heard correctly, Bellatrix was also responsible for his death as it was her curse that he took. Percy Weasley chose to side with a corrupt Ministry rather than his family. That you happened to be on the side against the Ministry was only happenstance. It was not your fault that Fudge was a pompous arse who wanted to hide his head in the sand. The deaths of Fred Weasley, Lupin and Tonks were all acts of war. There was nothing you could have done. You did everything you could as quickly as you could. Rushing about would only have caused you to miss something.”
Harry was still crying, although the tears now had a tinge of cleansing to them, like someone had finally said something that he needed to hear. Still thinking that he was a construct of the Room, Harry moved over to where Severus was sitting and climbed into his lap. Wrapping his arms around Severus, Harry pressed his face into Severus’ chest and finally let himself grieve.
Severus was speechless. At first he was at a loss as to what to do, although he did finally put his arms around Harry and started to gently rub the slim back, the satin of the dress cool and smooth under his hand.
After about an hour, when Severus was sure Harry was almost asleep, he was startled when Harry began to speak, his voice still muffled by his chest. “Thank you, sir. I wish you were real. I feel safe in your arms. I know that the ‘real’ you actually can’t stand me, he would never hold me like this, he would never let me...” with that Harry lifted his head and pressed his lips to Severus’, “...do that.”
Severus frowned. “Harry, what do you mean the ‘real’ me?”
Harry smiled. “You’re not real; the Room supplied you to help me. At first I thought you would berate me like the Dursleys did, but I guess the Room knew what I needed. No one has ever held me like this before; although Mrs. Weasley hugged me once, at the end of the Tri-Wizard Tournament. It’s strange; I didn’t know that the dresses would feel this good. I wish I could wear them more often...” Harry trailed off, distracted by the feel of the satin against his skin, how cool it was compared to the heat he could feel from Severus’ hand on his back.
Harry squirmed around a bit, noting the differences in heat and texture, and enjoying the pressure changes he felt in his cock with movement. He wanted to get as much pleasure out of this experience as he could before the Room made Severus disappear and he ended up alone again.
Gently stilling the little incubus in his lap by pulling him close, Severus bent his head slightly to whisper in Harry’s ear, “Harry, listen to me. I’m really here. I’m not an illusion.”
Pulling away, Harry stared at Severus with a panicked look, “Wh--Yo--Wh--you’re real? You really don’t think it’s my fault?”
“Correct, Harry, it is not your fault.”
“You’re real? Oh Merlin, I kissed you.” Harry clapped his hand over his mouth.
“Yes, Harry you did in fact kiss me. And, Harry, I do like you.”
“You do?” Harry seemed disbelieving.
“Yes, Harry, I do. Would you like to know how much?”
With a shaky nod Harry whispered, “Yes, please.”
Severus pulled Harry close again, and gently cupping his face, leaned in and kissed him. It began with a slight touch of lips, but after the first taste Severus increased the pressure, until with matching groans, their lips parted and with initial touch of tongues, they fell into each other.
When they finally broke for air, Severus looked down into Harry’s shining face with his eyes radiating happiness and desire. Harry had resumed his squirming on his lap, and Severus couldn’t deny that he loved Harry in the dress, the feel of the satin catching slightly on his work-roughened hands, and that he was imagining Harry in the other dresses, and even a Hogwarts uniform with its short wool skirt.
Leaning in again so that his lips were next to Harry's ear, he spoke, his voice low and dark, all the while his hands moved along Harry's cock through his dress. "Come to my rooms tonight and I will show you."
Giving Harry another gentle, although thorough kiss, Severus lowered him back to the chair, then standing, turned and said, “The password is Sparkling Emeralds....and Harry?”
Waiting until the dress-clad young man looked up, he purred, “Bring the dress.”