Charming story. I was convinced that Lily really had a crush on Snape. She and Rose played the “giggling girls” part to perfection, and the diary entries seemed genuine. I did a lot of awwwing when reading them. You depicted Harry’s “parental desperation” very well and with some lovely humour. Also, that restaurant had a piquant speciality and a host to match:
"- - my God." "As you say, sir," the host said, smiling thinly. "I shall leave you to get on with your...worship."