Secret Snarry Swap: FIC: An Unusual Matchmaker Title: An Unusual Matchmaker Author:slashwriter Other pairings/threesome: Severus/Harry, Ron/Hermione Rating: R Word count: 2,818 Content/Warning(s): None Prompter:alisanne Summary/Prompt: #18 Severus and Harry are consistently the only single men at their friends' holiday parties. Some enterprising matchmaker notices and decides to do something about that. A/N: I just want to thank snape-potter mods for running a wonderful secret snarry.
Blue eyes watched as Harry James Potter poured himself a cup of pumpkin juice and proceeded to go stand in a corner. The redhead shook his head even as he waltzed around the room with his wife of seven months. Whom he whispered to, “Harry doesn't have a date this time either Hermione.”
She titled her head back to gaze into his eyes. Lifted a hand to brush her fingers through his hair. “It's fine, Ron. Harry is only twenty-two. Just because we got married doesn't mean he has to.”
Ron's shoulders slouched. “Yeah,” he smiled down at his wife, but once she'd rested her head against his shoulder again he cast his gaze in Harry's direction.
He looked... so alone.
When he twirled his wife around, he noticed in another corner, even darker than the one Harry sat in, that someone was alone.
He gulped and ducked his head. Whispered, “What's Snape doing hiding in a corner like a great big bat?”
Hermione blinked up at him. “Minerva talked him into attending. He didn't want to, but you know how persuasive Minerva can be, particularly when she enlists the aid of Portrait Albus.”
Ron hummed. “Well, he's not only twenty-two. Do you know what orientation he is?”
Hermione faltered, her eyes snapping wide open. “Ron!” she hissed. “Are you saying you want to play matchmaker for someone you don't even like?”
He shrugged. “Well, it's better than him attending these functions and being all doom and gloom.”
She rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Fine. Severus Snape is pansexual and I only know that from overhearing Draco and him discussing it. But be careful. I'm not going to bail you out of this one.”
“Brilliant! Wouldn't dream of it.” He bent down to kiss her, knowing just what to do. Thinking that by the time the Winter Solstice Ball came up, he'd have Snape and Harry set up together nice and cozy.
He blinked as her mention of Malfoy suddenly dawned on him. “Wait, what about Malfoy!?”
But the song was finished and she flounced away to speak with his mother and her parents.
***
Deputy Headmaster Severus Snape walked out of his dungeons and down the hall, ready for his nightly patrol of the halls lest a student should be breaking curfew, and grumbled about having a deputy Auror on premises.
Ever since the Battle of Hogwarts, there had to be at least one every single night. They switched out every eight hours. At least they were intelligent enough not to leave before their replacements arrived.
He didn't know who it was this time as he rounded the corner. Something he hadn't seen on the floor which shouldn't have been there had him toppling forward.
Foreign arms reached out to him as if to grab him before he could fall. Which only sent them both hurtling toward the ground.
The one beneath him let out an oomph as air passed through his lips.
Severus himself felt his cheeks heat up as his nose nudged something almost as large, but not quite.
He lifted his head quick as a shot and glared forward as a familiar mop of dark hair came into view. “Potter.”
The young deputy Auror's face appeared crimson even without the Lumos of a wand. It stood out starkly against the dark.
“Say my name when you do that!” He smiled back at him despite their precarious situation.
Green eyes rounded as he placed a hand over his mouth and turned around. Closing his eyes, the young wizard composed himself before turning back to look in the direction of the older wizard.
The hall grew quiet. Even Peeves seemed to sense crackling tension in the air and turned around to find elsewhere to have a bit of fun.
Dark brown eyes and green were held captive by the other.
Until a chill draft bristled through their hair.
Severus stood with a grimace and offered a hand to the younger man while staring at a spot on the wall.
Harry took the offered hand. “Don't worry, sir. This incident will be reported to no one.”
Severus stared directly at him then. Into the face of Harry Potter. “See that it's not.”
The young wizard leaned in and spoke not a word, save to breathe against his ear before turning around and walking away.
He stared after him, watching as the man in Auror robes sashayed away.
With a shake of his head he turned back to shine a light on where he'd tripped. And found... nothing.
Ron hurried to Harry's room to return the Invisibility Cloak and Marauders Map to their proper place.
***
It was a start.
Harry shook his head. It had been three days since the incident at Hogwarts when Snape had fallen atop him, his nose buried in his crotch. He still didn't know what had come over him to say something like that!
Ron walked into the room. “The shower's yours, Harry.”
“Thanks. By the way, Ron, why aren't you with Hermione?”
“She has midterms coming up at University. Said I'm too much of a distraction so I decided to stay here for awhile while taking turn on patrols.”
Harry chuckled. “Well, that makes sense.” He flung a towel over his shoulder and picked up his green caddy with his favorite shampoos, body wash and loofa.
Whistling to himself, he stood in front of a bathroom. One that had been created for the sole purpose of visitors to use one at a time.
To the portrait of Albus Dumbledore he said, “Firebolt 3.0.”
Albus nodded. “Enjoy your shower, Harry.”
“I will. Thanks, Albus.”
The wall scraped against the floor and let him within. The sound grated on his ears but once open he hurried inside and listened to the wall closing the pathway to the large room. It had a larger bathing area than even the Prefects'. Not to mention it was warded against wandering curious ghosts. Too bad it still had a portrait, this one of a parrot that spoke – in case of someone drowning.
He looked at the bubbling pool of water. Nodded his head and walked over to the single shower stall. He felt it proper protocol to wash off the day's dirt and grime before indulging in a hot relaxing soak.
With the spray on, he tilted his head back with a sigh once the water was warm instead of freezing for those first few seconds.
He ran his hand through his hair, getting the dark strands good and wet before reaching for his chocolate-and-coconut-scented shampoo.
He didn't care if he smelled like a Bounty bar as he rinsed the soap from his hair away.
With a sigh, he recalled yet again what had occurred three days before. His cheeks warmed and his cock gave a twitch.
“Bastard.” He opened his eyes and glared down at his prick. “Can't believe you're finally working on your own after all this time without a whole lot of encouragement.”
Giving his head a shake, he closed his eyes and his thoughts went straight to Severus Snape.
Lifting a hand, he brushed his fingertips against the soft flesh behind his ears, walked his fingernails lightly down the side of his neck close to the important pulse point, and onto his shoulder where he hugged himself a moment with a shuddering sigh – imagining these movements to be Snape's hands instead of his own.
His hands after a few moments began to trail down further. One hand resting at his pectorals while the other continued downward. Sweeping his fingers across his chest, he halted his hand at a nipple and gave it a small pinch. His mouth hung open as he gasped on a moan of pleasure, a spine tingling thrill running along his spine.
***
Ron waited a little while, then hurried out from his temporary room into the hall. He ran with his Auror cloak flying in the air caused by his motion, as he headed for the Slytherins' dungeons to the room where he knew Severus Snape to be, having had a gander at the map before fleeing.
Harry would thank him later, he was sure. He'd always had a thing with that Advanced Potions book, or rather the Half-Blood Prince who'd written in it. He wasn't sure what Snape would think. But he didn't care right then as he knocked on the door, panting for breath.
He stepped back when he heard grumbling. Good thing, too, as the door swung open and Snape glared at him.
“What do you want, Weasley?”
He placed his hands on his knees. “It-it's H-harry, sir. H-he's in trouble.”
“Where?” Snape had his wand at the ready.
“Vi-visitor bathroom.”
With a nod of his head, Snape hurried out the door and down the hallway, heading for the room Ron had indicated.
Ron followed after, his eyes wide and round, his heart thumping against his chest, as he wondered if this was all really going to work.
Phase one hadn't been enough. Phase two was in action at that moment. He just hoped it didn't take a bajillion phases for these two to see what was right under their noses. They were made for each other. Didn't matter that he couldn't see what Harry saw in the great greasy git, though he wasn't as greasy as he'd been before the war, he had to admit.
Outside the wall door, Snape twirled round and pointed the wand at Ron's forehead. “What's the password? This had better not be a prank. I know the twins were quite into those.”
Ron gulped, wondering if going to all this trouble was worth it. He just had a feeling Snape would hex him. Maybe Harry, maybe not, but he just knew Snape would. No matter what.
“Weasley, I don't have all night!”
“Firebolt 3.0... the password.”
Snape sneered and turned to the portrait.
Albus grinned. “Why, hello Severus.”
“Albus. I need to get in.”
Blue eyes twinkled. “Oh. So you do. So you do. Password please.”
“Firebolt 3.0.”
Snape and he both stepped back.
When the door was opened, Snape hurried in only to come to an abrupt halt.
Ron smirked and stepped back before the wall door could close.
“Thanks for the help, sir. Don't let them out for a bit, yeah?”
Albus smiled. “I'm just happy that there's someone to help those two come together.”
“Eww...” He knew the man in the portrait didn't mean that, but having a good idea what two gay wizards might get up to together is where his thoughts flew.
Albus smirked. “I see I'm not the only one with an overactive imagination regarding those two.”
Ron shook his head and turned to walk away not wanting to hear another word.
***
Severus entered the room Ron Weasley had told him to find Potter. And for a brief moment it sounded as if the young man was in pain.
Looking around with his wand hand outstretched, his brows furrowed and his lips pursed as he came to a realization.
Potter needed no help. The sounds were far from pain. What had him standing statue still was the name cried on the rosy lips.
“Severus.”
He watched as Potter's shoulders shuddered and his head tilted back.
His gaze lowered quick as lightning to the hand Potter used to hold his cock, giving it a few strokes even as a spurt of cum flew a few inches before plummeting to the floor where it was washed away down the drain by the shower water.
“I gave you no leave to use my name.”
Potter whirled around, green eyes wide, pupils dilated, hair for once flat on his head, no doubt due to the continuous shower spray.
He watched his former student move his hands to cover his groin.
“I'm not certain your modesty can be saved. And while you and your friend Weasley might think this an uproarious laugh, I do not.”
“What are you talking about!? Why are you in here?”
“Perhaps had you used a better locking charm I wouldn't be and I could have been spared this practical joke.”
Potter shook his head. “I don't know what you're talking about. Now please, would you leave?”
“Weasley led me to believe you were in danger.”
“What!?” Potter's hands moved to his sides, curled into fists. “When I find him...”
Severus's brows arched. “You knew nothing about this?”
Potter shook his head. “No, I didn't.”
“You did not expect me then?”
He shook his head again. “No. Now please leave so I can finish my shower in peace.”
Severus's gaze wandered from the green eyes down, slow in his perusal of the lightly flushed figure of the Wizarding world's hero.
Catching Potter's gaze with his own once more he asked, “Then why did you call out my name? There are no other Severus's at the school nor has there been since my time as a student and as a teacher.”
“You know, sir, talking about this here is uncomfortable.”
“For you, perhaps, but I am quite comfortable.” Better that Potter be uncomfortable than himself, he thought, as he crossed his arms, wand still in hand.
With a huff the younger man turned off the shower and grabbed a towel which he tied around his waist.
“I don't have to tell you.”
Severus quirked a brow and quickly walked up to him, placing both hands on either side of his head back against the shower walls. “Explain it to me,” he lowered his head and whispered darkly against Potter's ear.
Potter lifted his hands to his chest and tried pushing him away.
“Potter, I know you're not as weak as that, not even physically.” Which meant that, for some reason, Harry James Potter didn't want to push him away.
“Fine!” His green fiery gaze snapped up to meet brown. “I'm attracted to you. Yes, I'm gay! I'm in love with a great git of a man and was having a wank thinking of him. Which was supposed to be private!”
“I see,” he drawled. “You don't want anything to do with me, then, despite these feelings.”
“That... that's not it!” Potter's grip tightened on his arms.
“Tell me then, Potter... tell me, Harry.”
He could read the shock on his face when he spoke aloud his given name.
“I... you said...”
“Yes. Now, try to use your addled brain to answer my question as best you can.”
Harry frowned up at him, a glare in his eyes. “You're not gay.”
“No. But neither am I straight. At best I'm demi-pansexual. If you're willing to give me a chance I would offer you a chance. Shall we take it?”
“But...”
“Don't try and think of an explanation. Any answer you come to conclude is likely to be far off the mark. Your academics, for the most part, may not be up to standard on my scale, but I know your heart has a gift far more precious than any magic or brew and it is not something I'm capable of bottling.”
Harry stared at him, lips slightly parted, and gave a small nod.
“Tonight. Eight o'clock. After that, I expect we'll be invited by your friends to the Christmas party they're throwing. We can thank your friend Ronald Weasley then.”
He moved one hand from the shower wall to brush the back of his knuckles against Harry's right cheek. He lowered his head and brushed his lips against Harry's.
A knock on the bathroom door interrupted them as Hermione called out, “Harry, Ron's gone completely mad! Are you hurt!?”
Harry called out, “I'm fine, Hermione! Get out of here before Ron has a hernia. Oh, and thank him for me.”
Severus said, “And I.”
Hermione gasped, “What... are you two?” She threw her hands up before leaving the room, but not before they heard her girlish giggles.
Harry took Severus's hand. “We should leave before anyone else intrudes.”
***
Hermione stared at Ron. “I can't believe what you did, Ron.”
“But they're not at each others throats, are they?”
“No. And they both told me to thank you.”
“I bet they'll be married by this time next year.” And they were, with Ron as best man for Harry James Potter and the portrait of Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore for Severus Snape.