First Time for Everything Fest: FIC: First Child Title: First Child Author:snapesgirl/snapesgirl62 Rating: R Word count: 3,367 words Content/Warning(s): (highlight for spoilers) *graphic mpreg, partial genderswap while pregnant, crack* Summary: Severus explains how the first Potter-Snape child was born. A/N: Many thanks to the mods for coming up with this fest. Thank you very much to gin_tonic for proofreading this short story. Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling, Scholastic, Warner Brothers and other entities. I'm only borrowing them for this exercise in creative writing. I make no money from this story.
First Child
The room was filled with floral chintz, it must have been the gates of hell
I jest not, the room was decorated in floral chintz. Cabbage roses assaulted my eyes and smothered all pretence of good taste. I glowered at my husband.
"Let me guess, this is all my fault," Harry whispered.
"And don't forget it." I meant to huff. The parasite decided it was a good time to deliver a swift kick to my spleen. Bending over in pain, I gasped and rubbed at my enlarged abdomen. "Take a Sleeping Draught in there," I said.
"What was that, Mr Potter?" the attendant asked.
"It's Mr. Snape, and I was just telling the parasite to calm itself." I gathered my tattered shreds of dignity and walked to an overstuffed chair. I thought I had better odds of rising from it than from the sofa. Sitting was a matter of easing my girth down and praying our little mishap didn't punch me in the bladder.
I should probably start this narrative at the beginning instead of at the end. To everyone's great surprise, I survived the Battle of Hogwarts. Rumours of my demise were highly exaggerated.
After giving Dumbledore release from the curse that was slowly killing him, I took Draco to a location known only to the inner circle of Death Eaters. While we were safe from Aurors and Hit Wizards, we were not exactly safe. Our fearless leader was not exactly of sound mind. In fact, the Dark Lord's insanity was well developed by this time. His abuse of the Malfoy family, the random use of the Cruciatus curse on his followers, along with Nagini being fed one of my former co-workers motivated me to wish to be rid of my servitude to him. When the Dark Lord installed me as headmaster at Hogwarts, I felt a bit of relief. Being away from most of the action meant I would have time to work on making a few potions, perhaps even improving one or two potentially necessary ones.
My term as headmaster is part of public record. Behind the scenes, I did what I could to assist the Boy-Who-Lived to be a pain in my arse. Somehow I also managed to distil a potion to a concentrated dose and successfully save it in what Muggles call a gel-cap.
Which brings us to my survival. When Nagini was floated in her bubble to me, I brought my arms up as if to protect myself. Knowing this was not going to stop the inevitable, I had palmed my special potion, put it in my mouth and removed the spell which kept it from breaking in my pocket.
Immediately after I bit down on the gel-cap, Nagini bit me. I collapsed from the combination of her venom and the anti-venom simultaneously hitting my system. After I was abandoned by my former master, the terrible trio came out of the secret passage into the Shrieking Shack.
Potter dutifully knelt next to me and gathered the memories I forced out for him to view. What is not mentioned in that narrative of his exploits is how Granger applied essence of dittany to the snake bite on my neck. The burning pain from the medicine made me thrash my legs and then - I hate to admit this - I fainted.
When I came to my senses, I was in the Animal Bite Ward at St. Mungo's. Some imbecile had shaved my head because of a supposed bout of "brain fever". I say the perpetrator of this indignity was out for revenge because I humiliated them when they were one of my students.
Be that as it may, I survived. Potter successfully campaigned to keep me out of prison and two years afterwards, I was awarded the Order of Merlin third class. After leaving the tender care at St. Mungo's, I returned to my home and a brief period of obscurity.
My wish to be left alone so that I could research to my heart's content was denied. St. Potter made it a point to visit every. single. day. for a year. Leaving him out in the street didn't discourage the brat young man.
While the neighbourhood was in decline, there were a few families still residing in the same row of houses as myself. Therefore, I was forced to open the door and tell the boy off. He wouldn't cease to stop by for a chat. Eventually I made the tactical error of allowing him to enter my home. I thought verbally flaying him would do the trick. It didn't.
Potter, in his infinite insanity, snogged me. He assaulted my person with enough enthusiasm to make me stumble. If not for the wall behind me, we would have fallen to the floor.
In my defence, I'd spent my life being celibate. Having someone play tonsil tennis with me while rubbing their groin against me with the energy of a crup in heat sent me over the edge. I kissed him back. One of us began to tear at the other's clothing and then there was skin against skin. It was glorious.
After our rutting, I sent him out of my house. However, I could no longer resist him. When Harry came calling, I opened the door and tugged him inside my home. We'd snog and end up writhing on the floor like a pair of hormonal serpents. Our frenzied times of mating continued to occur on a regular basis for a few years.
When Harry proposed to me, I made a strong argument against making our relationship more formal. I closed my eyes and begged whatever deities were listening to make Harry see reason. Apparently no one was listening.
Harry wore me down. He didn't bother arguing with me, he just refused to leave. I thought a night on my sofa would cure him of his current obsession. I was wrong. My guest crawled into bed with me after the sofa attacked him.
All right, the sofa didn't bite or grow claws. It had a few broken springs which would poke the unwary. Three or four hits from the springs aggravated Harry enough that he stomped upstairs and almost broke my bed when he flopped onto it with me. We wrestled for control of the blankets and mated, then fell into an exhausted slumber. Three months later, we were married and living in a small cottage outside of - Salazar help me - Godric's Hollow.
I've no idea why anyone would want to live in the same village where their parents were spectacularly killed. But yes, we lived on the opposite side of the village from the national monument to his parents. He used his body to seduce me into agreeing to this insanity.
So long as he wasn't overly cheerful in the morning and didn't speak until after I'd had three mugs of coffee, our existence was fairly harmonious. Like all couples, we had our moments. I had no desire to spend time with his friends, and he wasn't thrilled with my tendency to fall into bed without washing up at the end of the day.
Three years of stable matrimony came to a screeching halt one midsummer's day. This wasn't the solstice; in fact that day had come and gone with minimal celebration in the Potter-Snape household. Instead our fertility ritual happened on a rainy day in July. We started out snogging in the living room and made our way to the bedroom, leaving a trail of clothing behind us. By the time we fell onto the bed, I was more than ready to be mounted.
Yes, you heard that correctly. Variety being the spice of life, we both played at mare for the other's stallion. On this day, I was an eager slut and had my arse up and was begging for his cock.
Harry rode me first hard and fast, then slow and delicious. Each time he brushed against my prostate, I cried out for more. Things were going along at a nice pace when I felt a brush of magic. Whatever happened didn't ruin the moment, it enhanced our pleasure. Harry pulled his cock out of me and I recall demanding he cease teasing. He shoved it back in and that's when things became odd.
I no longer felt him in my arse, yet he was inside of me. I still had a pillow under my hips and was frotting against it. However, I no longer had a dick. This realization came after I experienced an amazing orgasm. I recall shuddering and screaming while Harry thrust in a last time and held still.
His cock slid out of me.
I ran a hand down my body.
"Bring it back."
"Bring what back?" Harry was sprawled on the bed and blearily looking at me.
"My bits have changed. Reverse whatever you did and bring back my cock. Don't forget to return my bollocks," I snarled.
"Severus, I didn't do anything to you. Well, I admit to thoroughly shagging you. I didn't use any magic."
"Fuck!" I sat up, moving so that he couldn't miss the obvious and spread my legs. "Does this look like my equipment?"
Fortunately, my myopic spouse was still wearing his glasses. Unfortunately he proved to be as dense as he had been as a teen.
"How did that happen?" He blinked owlishly at me.
"Fertility magic, you dunderhead."
"There's no need to be angry, Severus. We'll reverse it." Harry fumbled around for a moment. "Accio wand." He had the nerve to smile at me when that little charm proved successful. "Finite."
Whatever spell he'd cast on me didn't end. The genius tried a few more charms and muttered about discussing reverse transfiguration with Minerva. I gave into temptation and slapped him on the head.
"Oww, what was that for?" He rubbed the back of his head.
"You will not speak of this to anyone. Do. you. understand?" I leaned close and snarled at him.
"Severus, how are we to fix this if we don't ask for help?"
"I will do research. You will act normal…that is, you will not say a single word about this miscast spell."
"I don't understand how I cast a spell without knowing what I did." He moved out of my reach.
"You have been nattering about wanting a family." I stood up and stalked into the bathroom. I took a flannel out of the cupboard, ran warm water over it and washed off my bits. It felt wrong.
Harry leaned against the doorframe. "Will you hit me if I come closer?"
"No," I sighed. Moving out of his way, I dropped the flannel into the laundry hamper and then watched him clean up.
"We'll figure this out," he vowed before kissing me.
I felt him slip his hands down to cup my arse and I moved into his embrace. I returned his kiss. He calmed and soothed me. We left the bathroom and got dressed. He had previously arranged to meet Granger and Weasley for drinks. I let him leave after he promised to not even think about our accident.
I began to look through every book on transfiguration, sex magic, and charms that I owned. My research led me to cross references; those in turn had me leaving the house to visit the library at Hogwarts, where I had to dodge Madam Pince.
The old harridan kept insisting I had no business there during the summer months. She finally left with a promise to report 'this outrage' to the Headmistress. I could hear the capital letter in McGonagall's title. I figured I had a good hour, maybe two, before I would have more company.
McGonagall found me seated in the Restricted Section with a dozen books around me.
"What is the meaning of this, Severus?"
"I am doing research."
"I can see that. Why are you here when you are no longer a teacher?" She pulled out the chair next to mine and sat down.
"There are books here that are not in my collection." I tried to move a few volumes out of her reach. She put a hand on my arm and took one of the books from me.
"Why are you interested in sex magic? Is there something wrong between you and Harry?"
"There's nothing wrong. A question came up about transfiguration during intercourse," I hedged.
"Oh dear. Perhaps we should summon Madam Pomfrey?" She sounded a bit nervous.
"Not just yet. I know I can find the answer." I lifted an open book and double-checked a warning.
"How is Harry? Is he all right?" McGonagall pretended to be interested in the book she was holding.
"My husband is fine. He's at the pub with his friends." I folded down the corner of a page and the book howled at me. "Blast that woman and her alarms." I slammed the offending book closed.
"Why did you experiment with transfiguring Harry if you aren't going to go through with having a child?"
"Excuse me," I hissed.
"All of this tells me you changed Harry into a woman so that the two of you could have a family. The only way this spell can be reversed is if he fails to conceive after a month, or after he gives birth."
I dropped my head onto the table. "It's complicated," I whispered.
She patted me on the shoulder and stood up. "Would you like help putting these back?"
"That would be much appreciated."
We worked in silence. I dreaded telling Harry he needed to not touch me for a full month. If we were to have any hope of my not becoming a hormonal mess with tendencies for homicide, we needed to not have sex.
Sometimes I can be very delusional. This was one of those times. That is to say, Harry agreed to no sex. The reason old sayings exist is because there is truth in them. "It only takes one time" is the worst of those truisms.
I'll spare you the horrific details of my nine months carrying around a parasitic growth in my body. The affliction called morning sickness refused to limit itself to the mornings. Whoever named it that should be killed slowly by an eagle ripping out their liver, and having to go through that process over and over each day for the rest of eternity.
If you are wondering how I can refer to my sprog as a parasite, technically that is what anything living inside your body or taking nourishment from your system is. Besides, it made Harry crazy whenever he heard me refer to our child like that.
The infant was soon to make its entrance into the world. We'd arranged for me to live at a birthing center from my due date until the child was born. This being a rare male pregnancy with the 'mother' going to full term, I agreed to visit a small facility near Bath.
The rooms were covered in chintz, with lace, and ruffles. I closed my eyes and began to beat my head on the chair back.
"Severus, please don't make a fuss," Harry begged.
"Why couldn't I have preeclampsia and lose my vision?"
"Stop creating a scene," Harry whispered.
"Easy for you to say, you aren't the one who has carried extra weight, been kicked and hit in the vitals, and had their pelvis crack to accommodate a growing child and now have to live in a duplicate of Umbridge's office."
Harry coughed to cover a laugh. "All the room needs are plates with kittens romping on them."
"Mention those abominations again, and I will hex you."
"How are you feeling?" He knelt next to me.
"I feel rather like a beached whale. The only positive thing to the current situation is that the child will most likely come on time."
"Have I mentioned lately how much I love you?"
"Don't get maudlin on me. You know I will be trying to eviscerate you once labour begins," I warned.
"I'll remember that." He softly kissed me. "I promise if we decide to have another child, I will be the one to get pregnant."
"Put that in writing and have it published. I do not wish to be accused of spousal abuse should you become pregnant." I shifted my weight and rubbed my extended belly.
One of the midwives entered my suite of rooms and began to cast monitoring charms on me, causing me to snarl. Murmuring a few platitudes, she made a hasty retreat.
Harry gave me a look.
"What now," I huffed.
"You need to stop terrorizing former students."
"In case you have failed to notice, there is an entire generation of witches and wizards who were students at Hogwarts during my tenure as the Potions instructor. While you were immune to my ability to command respect, all of the other students understood my rules and obeyed them. I cannot be held accountable if they continue to show respect."
"I think that word doesn't mean what you think it does." Harry smirked at me.
"There you go again, showing a complete lack of respect for me."
"Yes, dear." Harry kissed me, which distracted me from our conversation.
My due date came and left. Harry's time off from work was interrupted by a prisoner escaping from Azkaban. His concern for my safety was touching, to say the least. I refused his offer to have a guard sent to protect me and gave him a counter offer of castration if he inflicted Granger on me.
Naturally, our child proved to be contrary and decided to arrive while Harry was off chasing down Rookwood.
My going into labour gave the midwife and her assistants the perfect opportunity to take their petty revenge for supposed offences perpetrated upon them while they were my students. Those harridans had me up and walking for hours. They refused to allow me to sit down. After my forced march, in which I hiked the equivalent of the distance from Bath to Gretna Green, I was made to sit on a bench with my feet up and my legs spread wide. They had no respect for my privacy, let alone my dignity.
I was told when to breathe, how to breathe, to push, push harder, and then the lead sadist cut me. She said it was necessary to enlarge my birth canal to prevent tearing. I know she felt I had not suffered sufficiently for past sins.
After hours of agony, something the size of a small unicorn forced its way out of my body. I fell back in exhaustion, letting the hovering flock of attendants bill and coo over my child. Eventually they had me cleaned up, back in chintz hell and installed in my bed. I was too tired to safely hold the tiny bundle of blankets the midwife offered to me.
"What is her name?" The question brought me out of a doze.
"LilyanEileen," I slurred. I meant to say our daughter was to be named after her grandmothers. Obviously I was too tired to make sense.
The dunderheads took me at my word, and wrote on the birth certificate Lillian Eileen Potter-Snape.
I paused in my narrative at a soft question and asked; "What was that, Lucius?" in response to his murmur.
"I asked if Potter was upset by the name change," Lucius whispered.
"He currently thinks I hung the moon and stars in the sky. I doubt her name has fully registered with him." I tried to reclaim my finger from my beautiful daughter's tiny hand.
"She has nice hands," Lucius commented. "What colour are her eyes?"
"Dark like mine, but they are shaped like Lily's."
"At least she didn't inherit your nose, Severus." Lucius ducked as if to avoid a curse.
"Be grateful I am holding my firstborn and that you are standing behind me."
"'Your firstborn.' Then there will be others?" Lucius reached out to touch Lillian's perfect button nose.
She grimaced in her sleep and turned her head.
"Yes, I plan on holding Harry to his word. Our daughter needs a younger sibling, but that will not happen right away. I think it best if our children are two years apart in age..."