Warnings: mentions of frottage Series: No – One-shot
Prompt: Severus is confronted by shampoo.
Severus stared into the mirror as he shaved. He liked using a straight razor on his face; it felt good, and he liked the challenge. This morning it was particularly soothing to have this ritual. It was his first day as headmaster of Hogwart’s. He’d never wanted to try to fill Albus’ shoes, yet here he stood. Of course, rationally, he knew he was the best choice for the position amongst his fellow Death Eaters. His job as a spy would continue, from here he could attempt to protect as many children as possible, and still pass information to the Order. His mirror interrupted his reverie.
“You should wash your hair. Set a good example. You’re the headmaster, now.”
“I do wash my hair” Severus told the mirror indignantly.
“A different shampoo, perhaps.”
“Not that it’s any of your business, but I use my regular bar soap.”
“Then maybe you should try shampoo, and it is my business I’m your enchanted mirror. I don’t want the Wizarding World to think I’m neglecting my duties.”
“This discussion is over.” Severus threw over his shoulder as he left the loo.
He’d used shampoo before, of course. Lily had given him a bottle of the Muggle variety in their second year. They were all starting to reach puberty, and his hair had gone very oily. Hanging in strings on his face, he valiantly tried to cover his, then, too large nose with it. Lily had tried none too gently to help. He thought fondly of her. She had truly been a force of nature.
The next bottle had come from Lupin. He and Severus had had a secret something akin to friendship. Severus had been fascinated by the boy, and tried to explain it. Lupin, thickheaded Gryffinor that he was, thought Severus fancied another boy. Lupin had brought him shampoo, and told him that people were attracted to people who took care of themselves, and then prattled on about how intelligent Severus was, and what a great sense of humor he had. Severus had tried the shampoo, and Lupin told him how wonderful he looked. Severus’ black, silky cascade brought far too much attention, and he went back to using his bar soap.
Severus was meeting the Carrows and Minerva for breakfast; the other teachers would be arriving later today. The Carrows he could handle, but Minerva was definitely a wild card. He had no idea if Albus had told her of his plan. What would her reaction to the man who’d killed her long time lover be? Truthfully, he was a little concerned about the headmaster/teacher dynamic; Minerva always made him feel like he was perpetually eleven years old. She’d defended him more times then he could count, and had never made him feel obligated. She pushed off the smallest of thanks with a brush of her brusque exterior. Time would tell.
Severus had a migraine by the time breakfast was over. The Carrows had complained bitterly about the meal, and were intent on disciplining the house elves. Minerva wanted a meeting.
Severus prepared for the meeting cautiously. Minerva had been cold and distant as Antarctica at breakfast. He didn’t want to talk to her from behind Albus’ desk so he paced the room as he waited.
“Minerva. Please have a seat.”
“I’ll stand thank you.”
“What can I do for you?”
Minerva pulled a shampoo bottle from her robes. “Good grooming is essential for the headmaster. Please keep up the tradition and set a good example for the students.”
“Minvera, I wash my hair. I just use body soap.”
Minerva groaned. “Severus, I’ve known you since you were eleven; I’m not even supposed to know that you have a body. Back to the subject, we each have duties that we need to attend. I hope you remember yours!” With a quick turn on her heel and an evil eye shot over her shoulder she was gone.
He did have plenty of duties that required his attention but which ones did she refer to? Why was everyone on about shampoo today? Shampoo. He remembered fondly his last shampoo (the verb, not the noun). They’d made a bet while drunk, Lupin, the bastard, had gotten it in writing. Severus had lost and had to pay up. * He had had to do what Lupin wanted for an hour. Lupin had given him a long luxurious shampoo with something that smelled wonderful, and then proceeded to frot Severus and himself to an exceptional climax. That, in turn, led to a lovely shag in the shower for the balance of the hour.
The teachers had arrived. The students had arrived. The school year progressed as well as could be expected. Severus spent an unprecedented amount of time protecting the students, helping Potter and kissing the Dark Lord’s arse.
Today was the day. He’d already sent the youngest of the Slytherin students’ home. He stood in front of his mirror once again. His razor glided across his face, perfect, no nicks. Pulling his sliver-backed brush, one final time through his hair, it was a silky waterfall of black, and shone like a raven’s wing. He was ready.
“Your hair is beautiful” the mirror exclaimed. “But why use shampoo today?” it questioned.
“One should look one’s best when going to meet one’s fate.” Severus replied as he turned on his heel. It was time to go out and meet destiny.