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Sappho Duncannon ([info]sappho_or) wrote in [info]slytherin_or,
@ 2008-02-12 22:16:00

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Current mood: sick

Sappho Leaves her Sickbed to Talk to Severus
Sappho used a quick Scourgify on her teeth, threw on her dressing gown, and wobbled down to the Slytherin Common room. She would have given anything to have a few more minutes to fix herself up, although she didn't really have the strength for that anyway. As much as she would have preferred to put on her face and brush her hair first, however, Severus needed her, and that was more important than how she looked.

He was waiting, just as he said he would be, right outside the door that led to the girl's dormitories. Just over the threshold, in fact, which was probably as far as he could go without setting off the spells designed to keep boys out. When she saw him, she smiled, but automatically raised her hands to her head to pat down her hair. "I'm sorry you have to see me like this, my Prince. I'm sure I must look dreadful."

[Backdated to immediately following this.]

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[info]severus_or
2008-02-12 11:36 pm UTC (link)
"You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," Severus whispered, immediately stepping up to envelop Sappho in his arms. She seemed a bit unsteady, so before he started toward the sofa, he turned with one arm still around her back and held the other out in front of her, for her to hold on to. He half-carried her toward the nearest sofa and pulled her down into his lap as he sat, draping his cloak over them both. They probably ought to have sat closer to the fire, but he wasn't sure Sappho would be able to make it that far, and he didn't want to risk her falling or fainting en route.

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[info]sappho_or
2008-02-15 12:36 am UTC (link)
"How sweet of you! Though I'm anything but," she coughed. Sappho squeezed his shoulders and pressed her cheek to his. "I missed you, you know." She pecked his ear and proceeded to stroke his hair. "So what's wrong? Did something happen in class?"

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[info]severus_or
2008-02-15 03:12 am UTC (link)
"I missed you, too," Severus said with a sigh, rubbing his cheek against hers. "And it wasn't during class; it was after." He took a deep breath and shrugged. "I was in the library, looking up information of photographic potions, and Evans cornered me there."

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[info]sappho_or
2008-02-15 03:25 am UTC (link)
She pulled him closer. "I'm sorry. I should have been there with you. She would've stayed away if she'd seen me." Sappho rocked him back and forth as best she could whilst sitting in his lap. "What did she do to you? Do I need to go track her down and hex her? Or merely cough on her so she gets this cold?" she asked, only half-joking.

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[info]severus_or
2008-02-15 04:16 am UTC (link)
He couldn't help sniggering at that. "She didn't do much of anything but try to blame Potter for my being angry," he answered with a shrug. "And as much as I enjoy blaming Potter for things, this isn't remotely his fault. But I realised something when she finally left me alone, and I wanted to talk to you about it."

Severus frowned, however, as he started to remember what Lily had said. He hadn't had time to ruminate on it before, what with talking to the Ravenclaw girl, but it was starting to come back to him now. Lily had said something about her dying, and a person named Harry, about whom something was odd. And the future ... just as Maltian had said. He shook his head. This was stupid, and if Potter wanted him to be duped, he wasn't going to fall for it.

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[info]sappho_or
2008-02-15 04:30 am UTC (link)
Sappho smirked, rather pleased with her ability to elicit a laugh from Severus when his mood had been low. It made her feel fairly witty. She kissed his brow, then pulled back to smile at him. "So what is it you realised? Something bad? Something that's made you upset again? You can tell me and I'll help you however I can. I promise."

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[info]severus_or
2008-02-15 05:59 am UTC (link)
"Something very bad, or you'll think it is, I'm afraid." He sighed softly, laying his forehead on her shoulder. "Then again, perhaps you already knew, and I was the only one who didn't." Severus took a deep breath, squeezing Sappho about the waist. "I realised that I had been in love with her for a few years now, though I'm not any longer." She'd probably hate him for saying this, but he didn't feel right about trying to hide it from her. Scowling, he decided he was going to make it up to her ... somehow. He would find a way. "If it's any consolation, I also told her I hated her -- not once, but twice."

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[info]sappho_or
2008-02-15 11:03 pm UTC (link)
Though she sniggered under her breath at the mental image of Severus telling Evans he hated her, the hurt wasn't nearly mitigated. "It seems to me that Evans still hasn't a clue as to your true feelings. Of course, she doesn't seem to understand anything outside of herself. Evans never gave anything back to you; she only took, took, took. But yes, I knew.

"I watched you two all these years, saw how you looked at her and how you willingly suffered for the smallest bit of her attention. It was like a dagger plunging into my heart over and over. I knew how much you hurt, but, and I know it's selfish, most of my pain was because I felt the same way about you." By this point in her response, Sappho had tears trickling down her cheeks. "You shouldn't have to give up your self-respect in order to be loved, but I'd still be willing to do that and more for you. Maybe that makes me weak or a hypocrite, or both. I don't know. It's just how I feel. I guess my point is that I want you to feel that way about me, though I know I'll never be good enough to replace her. Not merely because she's so much better than me, but how can your heart change? I know mine never will. I lost my best chance when she met you first. The most I could even aspire to is to be equal to Evans and share your affections with her." She hid her face in his hair then. Some of it got into her mouth as she sobbed.

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[info]severus_or
2008-02-16 04:44 pm UTC (link)
Severus practically crushed Sappho against his chest, he was clinging to her so tightly. "I'm sorry," he croaked then, sounding on the verge of tears himself. "I never would have wished this on you. I hope you know that. To put you through the kind of pain I've experienced, I mean. But you're wrong about one thing: my heart can change. In fact, I think it is changing, and that's why it hurts so much." He pulled back a little then and placed his fingertips under Sappho's chin to gently lift her face so that he could look her in the eye, even though his own now filling with tears. For once in his life, however, he wasn't ashamed of that fact. "I'm pulling the dagger out -- finally. And my heart will have to heal up a bit afterward, but once it does, it will be yours and yours alone. And, incidentally, all the stronger for having been wounded and surviving. That will be my first and best gift to you: a much stronger heart. Would you be willing to accept it?"

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[info]sappho_or
2008-02-16 05:31 pm UTC (link)
"Of course. I wouldn't dream of refusing. But do you really want to settle for a consolation prize? A mere substitute? You deserve so much more. I want you to have everything you ever wanted. And I'd do anything it takes so you can. I could ply her with love potions or Imperio her, if that will fulfill your dreams," she whispered. Sappho seized his hand, kissed it several times, and held it to her damp cheek. "I would have tried to kill her, but I can't bare the thought of causing you grief."

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[info]severus_or
2008-02-16 08:30 pm UTC (link)
He gave a half-hearted chuckle, thinking of all the times he'd thought of killing Potter to leave his way to Lily clear, so he really couldn't fault Sappho for that. "Well, love potions and Unforgivable Curses won't be necessary," he whispered, stroking her moist cheek with his thumb and smiling softly. "I have everything I want now, in you. I may have thought I wanted her, but that was before I knew you. I'm not settling for anything but the best." Just then, an idea of how -- possibly -- he could make things up to her occurred to him: he could make certain she had the best evening of her life on Valentine's Day, or die trying. Then again, if he died, Sappho would be miserable, so he would simply have to make certain she had the best evening of her life -- full stop.

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[info]sappho_or
2008-02-16 09:20 pm UTC (link)
She looked up at Severus with her jaw agape. Her eyebrows were scrunched up and high on her forehead. "You really think I'm better than her? That I'm the one you truly want?" she asked in a faint voice. Sappho licked her lips and gulped. "Do you think I'm prettier and more pleasant to be with? Might you even... Like me better?" The tears were still falling from her eyes. She wanted to curse herself for being so bloody hopeful, but she couldn't turn away from Severus, in case it was true. If he wanted her more than Evans, it would mean she hadn't been living her whole life in vain.

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[info]severus_or
2008-02-20 04:22 am UTC (link)
"Yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes," Severus said, smirking. He'd acted thoroughly amused whilst answering her string of questions, but he could not have been more serious. Of course, he could have sworn he had just answered all those questions in what he'd said before, but then again, Sappho had been pining for him for an awfully long time. She might need to hear it a few times before she could see her way clear to believing him. If he perhaps told her in a different way, he wondered if it would possibly be more effective? He hoped he could think of something.... After a moment, he realised that Sappho was still crying, and he reached into his pocket to retrieve his handkerchief, which he handed her. Normally he would have simply wiped away her tears away with his hands, but there were rather too many of them for that to be effective, either.

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[info]sappho_or
2008-02-20 04:24 am UTC (link)
Sappho gasped, her jaw still hanging open. She took the handkerchief and whispered her thanks as she wiped her cheeks. Her wet eyelashes were slightly sticky, so she dabbed them as well. "This means a great deal to me. I know you probably don't need my pain weighing down on you right now as well, but you are helping me a lot. I hope I can help you, too. I'd do anything to comfort you." She put her hand on his shoulder and rubbed it. "Is there something I can do?"

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[info]severus_or
2008-02-20 04:46 am UTC (link)
"Actually, there is," Severus whispered, frowning suddenly, "but it's rather a large favour of me to ask." Buying him gloves was one thing, but dress robes were quite another. On the other hand, he wanted their Valentine's evening to be perfect, and could it really be perfect if they weren't the most handsome couple at the ball? Screwing up his courage, Severus gave what he hoped was a nonchalant shrug. "I don't have any dress robes, and I was wondering if I might be able to borrow the gold to purchase some?" He imagined Sappho was rich enough that asking at so late a date wouldn't be much of an imposition, but he braced himself for a refusal, nonetheless.

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[info]sappho_or
2008-02-20 05:04 am UTC (link)
"Certainly. How much do you need?" she whispered. It seemed like the sort of topic to be discussed in hushed tones. "Will you have enough time to get them? I think some catalogues will do a rush delivery. They are for ball, right?" Sappho stroked his cheek and smiled warmly at him. "I was going to ask your opinion on what gown I should wear. Perhaps one that will go with the robes you get. Do you have a style in mind?"

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[info]severus_or
2008-02-20 05:36 am UTC (link)
"Well, I've always been partial to Slytherin green," he answered with a smirk. "And full length, I think. But you could always wear the dress you were wearing in that photo you gave me. Black goes with anything; I ought to know." Severus paused for a moment to smirk as he leant forward to peck Sappho's cheek. "Perhaps twenty-five Galleons? I was thinking of asking Slughorn if I might be able to make a special trip to Hogsmeade during my free period tomorrow to visit Gladrag's. Since I'm a prefect, he can't exactly refuse. It'll be cutting it a bit close, but I should be able to find something I like, and I'll have all of Thursday afternoon free if I need any alterations done."

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[info]sappho_or
2008-02-20 05:40 am UTC (link)
She blushed and grinned. "All right then. That shouldn't be a problem. I'll give you a little extra though, just in case." Sappho leaned forward and pecked Severus on the lips. "Should I wear anything with it? Jewelry or something in my hair?"

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[info]severus_or
2008-02-20 05:54 am UTC (link)
"As if there is anything that could possibly improve your appearance..." Severus whispered, leaning closer again to kiss her softly. "Though perhaps some pearls -- possibly a choker," he added, stroking a finger down her chin to her neck. "Do you have one?"

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[info]sappho_or
2008-02-22 01:15 am UTC (link)
Sappho nodded eagerly. "Yes, I do, actually. I'm kind of fond of pearls and chokers." She set the handkerchief on her lap and put her arms around him. "This is quite exciting! I've always wanted to go with you to some formal event. I want to be seen with you and have everyone turn their heads when we walk in. They'll be so envious!"

She remembered something then and cleared her throat before starting to explain. "You know, I made something for you, but I've been a little afraid to give it to you," she said nervously. "I don't won't you to think I'm saying your hair is gross and that you need to wash it, like everyone else says. I just thought some indigo henna shampoo would highlight the blackness of your hair and give it a bluish glow. It might make it look extra fetching at the ball. I make my own henna shampoo to bring out the red in my hair, too." Sappho gestured at her curls. "If you want to try it, I'll give it to you tomorrow."

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[info]severus_or
2008-02-22 02:02 am UTC (link)
Though he wasn't certain anyone would be envious of them, exactly, Severus wasn't about to split hairs. As long as Sappho had an enjoyable evening, that was all that mattered. And if a few heads turned in their direction when they entered the room, that would probably be good enough to make her happy. Smiling, he gave her a squeeze, but he stiffened automatically a second later -- when she mentioned his hair.

If anybody else had offered him shampoo, he likely would have cursed them. Of course, Sappho hadn't meant it the way everyone else did, and he knew that. After all, she was always playing with his hair and stroking his hair and telling him how much she liked his hair. So really, he ought to be flattered that she gone though the effort of making him a special shampoo. Frowning, he tried to decide how best to accept her gift, gracefully, when something else occurred to him.

"It's not going to turn my hands black, is it?" That, he imagined, was close enough to a 'yes.' He frowned worse when he realised he'd kept her up far too long already, and she needed as much rest as possible if she was going to feel up to accompanying him to the ball. "Shall I walk you back now?" he asked quietly, nodding toward the corridor that led to girl's side of the dormitories.

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[info]sappho_or
2008-02-22 02:12 am UTC (link)
"It shouldn't, but if you're worried, you can wear your dragonhide gloves -- at least before the ball," Sappho said, and she held the handkerchief out for him to take back. "That's probably a wise decision. But I'm glad we were able to talk about things just now. I think this has been good for both of us. And I appreciate everything you've told me."

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[info]severus_or
2008-02-22 02:13 am UTC (link)
"It's all right," Severus said, shaking his head. "You can keep it." Wrapping his arms around her tightly, he rose, helping her to her feet. "I appreciate everything you've told me, as well. And I especially appreciate that I've told you some awful things tonight, and you haven't decided that you hate me now. I rather expected you to."

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[info]sappho_or
2008-02-22 02:14 am UTC (link)
She smiled again. "Thank you. I'll cherish it always," she said, placing it inside the pocket of her dressing gown. But Sappho then put her hands on either side of his face and looked deeply into his eyes. "Never -- I'll never hate you, Severus. My heart will not change, no matter what happens. I care about you more than anything."

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[info]severus_or
2008-02-22 02:16 am UTC (link)
He had planned to say, "It's only a handkerchief, and an old, dingy one, at that," but Severus was struck dumb by what Sappho said next. In fact, the only thing he could think of to do in response was pull her closer and kiss her, even if he had to be careful to keep supporting her at the same time. Now he was even more determined to show her the best evening of her life, come Thursday. "We, ah, probably ought to get you to bed now," he whispered, finally, though he really didn't want her to go.

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[info]sappho_or
2008-02-22 02:17 am UTC (link)
"All right," she said with a pleasant sigh. Sappho took his hand and allowed him to walk her back to the dorm room door.

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