Yeah, little ficlet I wrote... like two months ago, but I finally finished it. Blame artimusdin for the idea...
Humor, crack, whatever...
Cloud took a deep breath to sigh, but grimaced at the feeling of the constricting obi encasing most of his torso. He glared at the, currently, very feminine version of his face in the mirror; a glare which he immediately transferred to his male teammate, who was trying to stifle snickers into his hand- key word, trying. He hissed in pain as his temporarily long hair was tugged, being pulled back and tied up into the official coiffure of a geisha.
He still didn’t see why he had to be the one who infiltrated the target for information, after all, Aeris was the kunoichi. In response, however, she’d hit him with some sort of medical technique, and here he was, in a kimono, white-powder covering his face, looking several years older and being very much female.
May the gods strike him where he stood…
A pair of hair sticks were stuffed in, along with a decorative comb, and suddenly, Namikaze Cloud was no longer there. In his place was Koharu, geisha of a small mountain village.
A low whistle of amazement caught his attention, and Cloud turned to glare at Zack, who was staring at him a little too intently. “What?” he snapped, and Zack laughed, shaking his head.
But he did not reply.
“Well!” Aeris piped up from where she was cleaning up all of her ‘tools’- or as Cloud referred to them, ‘torture devices’- and flashed both of the males (well, one male, and one male-turned-female) charming smiles. “Let’s go show Hokage-sama all of our hard work!”
Cloud knew he couldn’t run away fast enough- not in these damn skirts, at least.
Cloud could feel his face flush as curious eyes turned in his direction, admiring gazes making him want to simultaneously crawl into a hole and die, and tear all of the clothes and accessories off in a fit.
If he did the latter, though, Aeris would kill him…
Instead, he settled for ducking his head and staring intently at the floor, hoping fervently that it would split wide open and swallow him. Alas, no such thing happened on the way to meet the Hokage and their sensei. They made their way through the tower, and Cloud felt his stomach drop to his feet as they arrived at the Hokage’s office.
The choking noises that started up upon his entrance let him know that he'd been immediately recognized- not that there were any other blondes who were often seen in the presence of Zack and Aeris. Raising his eyes from the ground, Cloud looked woefully at his spluttering Uncle, as if to plead, 'Help me!'. Kakashi, who'd been standing rigid guard in the corner, seemed unable to look at Cloud, and the blonde despaired- 'Even he thinks I look ridiculous! And he's the one who'd do anything for a mission!'
"Cloud!?" Minato finally squeaked, "B-but, I thought-" the man stuttered, looking between Cloud and Aeris.
The Conniving Wen-uh, Aeris only smiled enigmatically and replied, "Well, the mission briefing did say that the target, Don Corneo, has a preference for blondes. At first we thought dyeing my hair would work, but then we realized that that would be too noticeable-"
"Never mind that most of the blondes there will be bleached anyway," Cloud muttered, only to give a small yelp from a discreet crack to the shin by Aeris' staff.
"-and so we decided that using Cloud would be the best option." The brunette finished with a dazzling smile, pretending that she hadn't just given her teammate shin splints.
"I see..." Minato replied dazedly, giving Cloud a once over. He suddenly got a look on his face that said he'd be laughing once Cloud had left the room- the younger blonde could only weep inside.
"The mission, Hokage-sama?" Cloud asked, strained.