Who: Rylee and Carson When: morning, Friday, June 1st Where: The motel by Cherries Warning: Turns NFSW Status: Complete
It came to him overnight, like someone plugged a thumb drive into his ear while he slept and uploaded all of his memories back into his head. Carson’s dreams were strange and fractured and distressing, his sleep deep but not very restful. His heart leapt into his throat when his eyes popped open and for a moment he was terribly disoriented. He expected to see a dark crumbling ceiling covered in mold and who-knew-what-else, expected to see shit floating through the air, expected to hear the pop-pop-pop of distant gunfire and have the hot stink of the desert in his nose, expected the beeping of the machines keeping him alive in the hospital, but somehow also expected to be covered in fur and full of rage --
Instead he was just wildly staring up at the inoffensive beige ceiling of his brother’s guest room, lit in slanted bars by the morning light coming through the blinds. He remembered. He knew everything about who he was now, and Carson’s first instinct was to fumble around for the phone plugged in on the nightstand. He dropped it on the floor, cursed, pushed himself up, and almost fell off the bed leaning down to grab it. Rylee, he needed Rylee. Narrowly avoiding an embarrassing accident, Carson sat up in bed and tapped the screen to make the machine call her. His heart was beating hard in his chest and his mouth felt dry and gross. God, he couldn’t wait to hear her voice.
Having gotten used to waking up early for her job in Virginia, Rylee was already dressed and drinking coffee on her mother's front porch, enjoying the quiet, when her phone began to buzz on the round table beside her chair. Recognizing the number, Rylee quickly answered. She had been spending most of her time in Point Pleasant with her cousin, answering questions, taking him to the VA and pharmacy and just hanging out in general while he got used to this town being his home. Sure, on some level it was a bit difficult for her, because he didn't remember her and she had to make sure not to come across as too familiar with him, but Rylee told herself she could handle it, so she would. Carson needed her and that took precedence over anything else. "Good morning," she said lightly, lowering her coffee mug to her knee.
Rylee’s tone was easy-breezy, but Carson immediately felt like there was a false note in there. Maybe it was less her voice and more that now he knew she had been cautious and pretending they weren’t in love for the benefit of his amnesiatic ass. But now ... god, now he was really back. Emotion clogged Carson’s throat almost immediately and he had to clear it to speak. “Rylee,” he said with feeling. “I remember now ... everything. I just -- I woke up, and ... can I see you? I need to see you.” Carson knew she was at her mom’s and his brother was probably still home, so neither place was really safe, but a reckless part of Carson didn’t care at the moment, he just needed to hug her, hold her close and smell her and know that he was really home.
"Oh, thank god." There was a definite change in his voice and Rylee let his words soak in before she fell back against the chair, her eyes closing with relief. He remembered everything... including her. Them. Rylee's own throat felt tight and she swallowed once before managing to speak again. "I'll come over," she said. Robert might be home, but that was okay. They could always drive somewhere. Or get breakfast. Or... something. Anything. She just needed to see him. Rylee got to her feet, feeling shaky as she hurried to the door to take her coffee mug back inside. "How do you feel? Any headaches? Do you need anything?"
He could hear the relief in her words, and it made Carson’s chest ache. He wished teleportation was a thing, so they could instantly be in each other’s arms. He tossed the blankets off of him to turn and reach for his new prosthetic -- courtesy of the VA -- to pull it on. “No, no headaches, and I’m -- I’m fine,” he told her. Nothing hurt but the overwhelming rush of emotions from remembering his entire fucked up life again all at once. The one shining bright spot in it was Rylee, and he wanted to be alone with her so bad he could taste it. “I just need you, just ... hurry. If Robert’s still home we can go get uh, a cheap room or, or something.”
"I'm on my way," she promised, aware that she needed to take a breath and not appear too crazed, otherwise her mom would start asking questions. If they figured out Carson's memories were back, everyone would be calling or convening on Robert's apartment and that would mean she and Carson would have to wait even longer to have any privacy. Still, it was difficult not to run, especially now that Carson had said that he needed her. It wasn't the first time he had ever told her that, but hearing it now sounded so different. It felt different.
Rylee managed to brush her teeth and get the car keys without much interference from her mom. Robert didn't live too far away so it didn't take her long to pull into the lot and she hurried to the front door to knock, trying not to appear too overeager or emotional, in case her other cousin opened the door. Sometimes she felt like the way she felt about Carson was evident in the way she touched or looked at him and it would be damn near impossible to hide it now.
Carson got ready in a similarly hasty fashion, giving his face a scrub and brushing his own teeth. His brother was home, unfortunately, and he didn’t seem to be making any moves to leave, so Carson acted like everything was the same. He only wanted Rylee to know that his memory was back for now. There would be time enough to re-bond with his family later. On his way to the door, Carson told Robert that Rylee was taking him to another appointment and he would be back later. Robert gave some acknowledgement that Carson didn’t even hear as he pulled the door open. His arms immediately tensed with the urge to grab her, kiss her, cling and cry in her arms. Instead he could only give her a tense smile and crowded the doorway she would know that they weren’t staying. “Hey,” he said. “Let’s go.”
Rylee exhaled when she saw Carson and she understood immediately they were going somewhere else. That was okay with her. Even if Robert hadn't been home now, he would be later. She didn't say anything as she led Carson back to her rental car. It was torture not to jump immediately into his arms, now that she didn't have to hold back anymore. When they were both in her car she started the engine and looked over at Carson, a smile growing at her lips. "Where do you want to go?" She didn't care where they ended up. She would just start driving and never stop if that's what he wanted her to do.
It was terribly tempting to lean over and kiss Rylee as soon as they were in the car, but Carson knew there were still potential eyes around, they were in an apartment complex after all. But he couldn’t stop the answering smile that bloomed when he looked at her. “Somewhere we can be alone,” he said without hesitation. “The Cherries motel, maybe? It’s cheap, at least.” Carson didn’t want to go to Juniper for several reasons, and money wasn’t on the top of that list. It made him wish Rylee hadn’t moved out of Point Pleasant so they’d have an apartment to go back to, but he understood why she had. Since it wouldn’t be as obvious, once she got the car moving, he reached for her hand, needing to touch her in some way.
"Okay." She was more than fine with going to the motel outside of town. They could talk freely. She could kiss and hold him and vice versa. Rylee's heart was still pounding in her chest and as soon as Carson reached for her hand, she gripped his tightly, her throat constricting with emotion. "I wasn't sure you were ever going to remember," Rylee said finally, once they were on the road and driving away from Robert's apartment. "I was willing to accept it, just to have you back. But I missed you."
Carson let out a pained little sound and lifted Rylee’s hand to press it to his cheek. He closed his eyes briefly. He couldn’t imagine how painful it had been for her, trying to pretend that she wasn’t in love with him, trying to act like a ‘normal cousin’ ... something they hadn’t honestly been since they were kids. He wanted to go back in time and hug her tight and reassure her he was going to be okay. “I missed you too,” he murmured. “I just didn’t know it. My God, Ry, I’m so sorry. That had to be so fucking hard.”
Rylee huffed out an incredulous laugh as she glanced at Carson. "You have nothing to be sorry about, Carson. You couldn't help what happened. It was just so strange, talking to you when you had no idea who I was." It was easier to talk about now that his memories had come back. That boulder sitting on her chest was gone and now he was touching her again and it was almost like the last few months had been nothing but a bad dream. "Do you remember anything else? Like how you came back? I mean, what happened?"
He knew in his brain that none of it had been his fault, that he’d gotten in the way when he was trying to defend Jules, it was an accident that he’d gotten shut up in there with the rest of them. But he still hated that once again his crazy life had intruded on Rylee’s peace. Carson knew Nic had told Rylee what had really happened at least, but somehow he didn’t think that had made things much better for her. He was still sorry, because he loved her, and so much about what kept happening to him hurt her. Carson sighed, letting their hands rest on his thigh as he tried to think about the answers. “I remember being there, as a wolf,” he said. “Werewolf, I guess, I was ... in that form, the whole time. It stank so bad. I was with Vex all the time, we looked after each other. There were people holed up in Juniper, hiding from the monsters ... but then they all started to disappear. People were worried. Then Vex disappeared, and I went and stayed in the Juniper lobby a lot ... but eventually everyone was gone. I was the last one, I think. I howled and howled, but nobody good answered.” Carson swallowed. “And then I just ... went to sleep one time and I woke up back here, human and naked in the woods. Again. For fuck’s sake.” He groaned and rubbed at his face with his free hand. “I dunno how it happened.”
Rylee kept her gaze on the road ahead but she frowned, hating the idea of Carson being left alone and not understanding why. It didn't matter if he had been a werewolf or not. Her fingers squeezed around his. "That sounds awful," she murmured. "I'm glad Vex was there with you... well, as glad as I can be, considering the circumstances. Maybe... maybe Nic and the others did something to bring you all back. You should reach out to them soon, let them know you're back." She paused and glanced at him. "Can you still... um... hear them? In your head?"
Carson was shaking his head a bit, even though Rylee wasn’t looking at him since she was driving. “It wasn’t them,” he said with some confidence. “Jules was the one who found me in the woods, she said she didn’t know why people were coming back. I uh ... I haven’t tried to talk to Nic or Neil yet, the whole thing weirded me the fuck out before this morning. I think they’re there, they’re just ... quiet. Jules said she could hear me sometimes, while I was gone, just as this distant static, jumbled thoughts. That’s probably the best the others could do, too. I’ll let them know I’m myself again soon.” He squeezed Rylee’s hand, looking over at her lovely face and willing the distance to the motel to be shorter. He was so beyond ready to kiss her. “I just want time with you first, only you,” he murmured.
Not knowing why Carson and the others had come back was a little worrisome. Rylee wanted to just drive out of Point Pleasant and never look back. She had no idea if that would actually help, but it couldn't hurt, could it? She realized she had a whole other life now, one in Virginia but even that felt up in the air. It wasn't something she was going to worry about now, though. She just wanted to be with Carson and try to catch up on all of the time they missed being apart. "I want time with you too," Rylee said. "I can't tell you how many times I dreamed that I would pick up the phone and it would be you on the other end. I'm a little terrified that this is all in my head too."
“It’s not, I’m here,” Carson told her, tightening his fingers on her hand again. He paused, then huffed a faintly amused sound. “Unless it’s all in my head ... but I think I would’a skipped over all the long road trips and VA waiting rooms, you know? So I’m pretty sure it’s real for both of us.” Rylee had done so much for him even in the short time he’d been back, it made his heart ache with love and appreciation for her. She was always taking such good care of him, he knew there was no way he could ever truly repay her. She wouldn’t want it even if he could, he was sure. Carson just wanted to be with her, and hoped that was enough. “I missed you so much,” he told her. “Even as a wolf, I remembered your smell. I looked for it sometimes. Real thoughts were ... hard, but I knew someone was missing that I needed.”
"I never minded the road trips," Rylee said, smiling gently at Carson. "Even before we became we, I liked spending that kind of time with you. But yeah, I think we both would have skipped the VA appointments if this had been a dream." It was beautiful and also heartbreaking to hear he had searched for her scent while he had been gone. It shouldn't have meant as much as it did to her, but it meant he remembered her on some level, even as a werewolf. She brought their joined hands up to her face where she could kiss his fingers. "I wish I could have helped you. Found you somehow. After Nic told me what happened, I went out there almost every day to try and find you. It was too difficult to believe you had just vanished, just like that. I was convinced I'd find you stalking prey in the woods or something."
Carson would have struggled to describe what it had been like to be stuck in that form, his brain somewhere in between man and animal while his hulking body was all Werewolf. He hadn’t quite had concrete language in his brain, but he’d understood far more than he ever had as a werewolf. He had to wonder if it would be the same the next time he changed. He fucking hoped so -- it would make him so much less dangerous. Rylee’s lips on his fingers made his groin tingle a bit, but her words drew a vague frown out of him. “Aw man, Ry,” he muttered. “It’s dangerous out there.” It was too late now to lecture her to take care of herself, and Carson knew he would’ve been doing the same thing if it had been him left behind, so he couldn’t really blame her. Carson brushed his thumb over her bottom lip. “How long after did you stay in town?”
She huffed out a soft laugh. "I grew up here, Carson. I know how dangerous it is." They both knew. But Carson also had to know she wouldn't have just accepted Nic's story as fact and given up. Rylee was sure that if she had been the one to disappear, Carson would have been trying to find her too. Maybe it had been dangerous and foolish of her to go into those woods alone, but the only thing she had been afraid of was not finding Carson. His thumb along her lip seemed to wake up her entire body and a warmth she had felt in months spread in her belly. It was a sensation Rylee had almost convinced herself she would never experience again. "I was here for maybe a month or so," she admitted, keeping her tone as light as she could manage. It was painful reliving that time. "Once I realized you weren't coming home... I couldn't stay there. Not in the apartment, not in Point Pleasant. It was too much. I got a job in Virginia, and I left."
Carson did know all of that, so he wasn’t giving her a hard time about it. He just hated to think of Rylee in danger in any context. But she’d obviously been okay, even if she hadn’t been able to find him. It broke his heart a little to think about it, Rylee wandering around in the February woods, searching for signs of him. A whole month of being alone in their apartment ... he didn’t blame her at all for running. He would’ve done the same. Or drank himself to death. Carson was glad Rylee had opted for the former. Unable to stop touching her, Carson stroked the side of her hair a bit, tucking some stray strands behind her ear. It felt like she was driving way too slow and this town was suddenly way too big, he wanted to be at the motel with her now. “I love you so much,” he murmured softly. “That’s what I would’ve wanted, if I didn’t come back. You somewhere else. So I’m glad you went.”
Rylee would have leaned into Carson's touch if she hadn't been driving. They weren't terribly far from the motel and her foot applied a bit more pressure to the car's accelerator. The one thing she wanted the most in the world at that moment was to wrap her arms around him and hold him. Rylee had never been an overly emotional person, finding it easier, and safer, to bury certain feelings and desires rather than expose them and risk rejection or pain. But Carson had changed that in her and she could feel that warmth in her belly spread when he said he loved her. "I love you too," she whispered, not wanting to start crying in front of him. She had to be done crying. He was home now. "Being away didn't really... fix anything. I thought about you every day. I just think if I stayed here, I would have lost my mind. It was too much." The motel was closer now and she tried to be patient with the drivers in her way.
There was time for them to be emotional and purge all of the stress that they could with each other, but it probably wasn’t best to do it while Rylee was driving. Carson caught on enough to lower his hand and just let it rest on her thigh. “I understand,” he told her, his tone still soft and warm. “I would’ve lost mine too. But you came back right when I needed you, just like always.” He smiled at her profile, glad they were getting closer to their destination. He couldn’t wait to get his arms around her and kiss her breathless. There were still things to tell her, things he worried about, but it just felt so damn good to be with her again and know he was with her. Carson didn’t want to ruin it yet.
"I told you I'd always be there for you," Rylee pointed out with a small smile. "I mean, as long as we're in the same dimension." She turned at the traffic light and pulled into the small parking lot of the motel. Thankfully there were vacancies, according to the neon sign in the front window. She wondered if they should have thought to bring extra clothes or something, but she had no idea how long they would be staying. They would probably have to return to town tonight, which sucked, but she didn't want to worry Carson's family, or have them question anything. "Stay here," she told him, grabbing her purse from the back seat. "I'll run in and pay for a room."
Carson knew they couldn’t spend the night together quite yet. He had no idea what their future plans would end up being, he figured they would talk about it today, once they’d gotten a chance to express all of the repressed desire they were brimming with now. He didn’t honestly care where they went now, he just wanted them to be together. If that meant ditching Maine for Virginia to pick up the life Rylee had started to build, then so be it. Fuck, maybe he wanted that. For the moment though, all Carson wanted was some privacy with the woman he loved. He smiled faintly and murmured an “okay” as he watched her get out and hurry into the motel office. Being alone for even those few minutes reminded him of his new deformity and by the time Rylee came back, he was nervous again.
Rylee tried not to exude too much impatience as she waited for the slow moving clerk to get her a room and charge her card. She was given a room at the back of the motel so she carried the kay card out with her to the car and climbed back inside. "We're in the back," she told him, feeling breathless and restless now that they were so close to being alone in a way that meant she could hug and kiss him as much as she wanted. It was going to be difficult driving back to Point Pleasant later. Within seconds they were parked and Rylee was unlocking the door, opening up to the slightly musty smell. At least it looked fairly clean. "I should have checked to see if they had water or something. I didn't even ask if you were hungry or thirsty or anything."
The room was exactly as expected for this sort of place, but Carson hardly even saw it. He heard Rylee’s words but as soon as the door was closed and locked behind them, all he could focus on was getting her into his arms. Carson pulled her in close and hugged her tight, his cheek pressed to hers for a moment as he drank in the sensation of holding the woman he loved again. “I’m fine, I’m fine,” he mumbled belatedly. The last thing he wanted her to do was fret over him right then. Carson pulled his head back enough to press his lips to hers, his heart beating hard against all of the emotion swelling up in his chest. He hadn’t been able to think much about the future Over There, but there’d still been enough of a sense of loss for him to say he’d missed this so much.
Rylee closed her eyes as soon as Carson's arms were around her. She clung to him, reveling in the familiar feel of his body pressed to hers. It burned behind her eyes but she didn't want to cry and spoil the moment. Her mouth sought his as soon as he moved his head and Rylee parted her lips to his. It was something she wasn't sure she would ever experience again and now that he was back and in her arms, it was absolutely perfect. There seemed to be so much to talk about. What he had gone through, what her life was like now... but none of it seemed terribly important at the moment. All that mattered was that Carson was alive and she was kissing him and had him all to herself, at least for the time being.
Carson was sure they would do a lot of talking, probably some crying, and planning and sorting out the pieces of their life together so they could put it back together ... but for the moment all he wanted to do was taste her. As weird and miserable as it had been, Carson appreciated on some level that he’d been half-animal for those long four months, and he hadn’t been able to miss Rylee with his full human brain. He wasn’t sure he would’ve survived all that grief in the middle of such a place. But now it was over and he was home, and Rylee tasted just as good as he remembered as their tongues met, and he could hear both of their heartbeats rushing in his ears. He stroked his hands up and down her back and then to her hips to squeeze, a wave of heat rolling through him that was only enhanced by all the love and sorrow and relief and angst bubbling in his chest.
It was so easy to sink back into the familiarity of the way Carson kissed her, how it made her heart beat faster and her blood pump hotter. Rylee cupped his face, desperation seeping into the way she kissed him now. She had been repressing her feelings for him since she arrived back in town... she had mourned him for months. And now he was with her, touching her again. It was heaven on earth and Rylee needed to cling to him, to keep him with her at all costs. There was a very real fear that he could disappear again, that something new would happen and take him away from her. This town would never leave them alone, that much Rylee knew now. Carson had been through so much and all Rylee wanted to do was wrap her arms around him and keep him safe.
Carson never wanted to let her go, never wanted to stop kissing her, but his lungs still needed air and they couldn’t just stand there forever, so after a while he pulled back a bit. He gave a sheepish little grin and rubbed at the beard he’d grown and only trimmed while he didn’t remember himself. He hadn’t thought to get rid of it when he’d woken up, all he could think about was getting to Rylee. “Doesn’t hurt your chin, does it?” he murmured, one arm still around her waist. “I can get stuff to shave it if you want ...” They’d come to the cheap motel room unprepared for pretty much everything, but Carson would run out to buy a cheap razor if he needed to. He had his bank cards again, and his family had kept his accounts open, hoping he would return. “Like, my whole body too, if you don’t like the uh, extra hair.”
Rylee opened her eyes when Carson pulled back, her arms tightening around him like he might slip away from her. Her gaze drifted to his beard and she smiled, shaking her head. "It doesn't hurt. I don't want you to shave anything... at least not right now. And if you want to keep the beard forever, you can do that too. But I'm not letting you go." Rylee pressed another kiss to his lips. "I like everything about you. I want everything, extra hair and whatever else. Besides, it gives you kind of a rugged look, which I like."
Something tugged in his chest when she said she wanted everything, and Carson dipped his head in to kiss her again, lingering in it while his arms tightened around her. He wanted to believe that Rylee meant that no matter what, but the change he was most worried about wasn’t quite the same as extra body hair. He knew he should be telling her, warning her before things went too far, but it felt so damn good to kiss her, Carson didn’t want to ruin the moment. He started to back up toward the bed, pulling Rylee along with him, until he could sit on the edge of it. Carson ran his hands down her back and ass and hips as he sat, nuzzling his face between her breasts and breathing her in. “It’s so good to remember you,” he murmured, looking up at her again.
Rylee was pretty convinced that nothing could ruin this moment. Not Carson's extra body hair, not the crappy motel room. Nothing. Hell, they could be in a dirty alleyway pressed up against a disgusting dumpster and she would still be in heaven. Her hands slid into his hair when he sat and Rylee smiled down at him, her thumbs brushing along his cheeks. "I'm so glad you do," she whispered. "I was already thinking about how hard it would be to make you fall in love with me again." Rylee arched a brow and smirked softly. "Though I felt pretty confident that I could do it."
Maybe he hadn’t known it at the time, but Carson had missed Rylee’s fingers in his hair so much, he felt like he might burst with it at that moment. Her touches felt so fucking good and made him tingle all over, aside from that knot full of dread in the pit of his stomach. Part of him was so sure that Rylee wouldn’t care, but the rest of him was terrified that was only wishful thinking and she would be too grossed out to ever sleep with him again. He huffed and quirked a smile back at what she said, his hands running idly up and down the backs of her legs. “I don’t doubt it for a second,” he murmured. Carson was beyond thrilled they didn’t have to go through all of that confusion though. He knew he loved her now. He wanted to start taking her clothes off, but Carson knew he shouldn’t do that yet. He sighed and pressed his cheek against her stomach for a moment before he met her eyes again. “There’s something I didn’t tell you,” he murmured, his expression sheepish. “The hair’s not the only ... change.”
The look on his face prompted Rylee to arch a brow in response. She studied him, her lips curving into a faint smile. "Do you have clawed toes now too?" Her voice was light and teasing because she couldn't think of what else could have possibly changed about him. Other than the body hair, he had seemed and looked like Carson to her, the Carson she'd known before he disappeared. He didn't seem upset or anything, so she didn't think it could be anything terrible.
Carson felt his cheeks get hot. Rylee was an amazingly cool person who hadn’t judged any of his physical changes in the past -- and he’d had more than most. Maybe she wouldn’t care. Maybe she would laugh at him for worrying about it. It was just such an intimate difference, and even before that morning’s memories had come back, he’d thought it looked painful for any partner he might have in the future. He just hadn’t expected that possibility to come up so soon. “Not quite,” he said with a pained little smile. Carson sat back a bit, but kept his hands on Rylee’s hips, thumbs rubbing idly. “My dick is ... different.”
Out of everything that could have possibly changed about his appearance, the last thing she was thinking of was his dick. Both of her brows rose in surprise now and Rylee waited a half a second, just in case Carson started to laugh and tell her he was just messing with her. But she could see that red flush that had creeped up his neck and cheeks and she knew he wasn't laughing. Suddenly she felt a little wary because a "dick change" could mean a lot of different things. Not that she would stop wanting him if it was a bad thing, but he had been in some horrible, toxic place for the last few months. The images that started popping up in her head were not helping matters at all and Rylee licked her lips, trying hard not to peer down into his lap. "Okay. What do you mean by different?"
He watched Rylee process the surprise and slide into worry, some distant part of his mind marveling that he knew her that well again. Fuck, he couldn’t believe his brain had blocked her out, even for a little while. Carson was so glad that was over, weird dick or not. He scrunched his face up a bit, then took one hand back to rub it over his hair. “Um ... well, it’s more ... canine?” he mumbled, but that wasn’t a good explanation either. Carson sighed. “I looked it up, it’s called a bulbus glandis in dogs, it’s like ... two bumps, in the shaft. Like extra testicles in my dick, it’s ... weird. Like a knot. It swells up when I get hard.” He felt awkward talking about it like this, but he had to tell Rylee, and she’d heard all kinds of gross body shit from him over the years. He knew now that she would want to see it eventually, so he might as well warn her. “It’s uh, a holdover, I guess. Like the hair and the extra sense of smell and hearing and shit.”
Rylee wasn't entirely sure her eyebrows could go any higher before they disappeared completely, but she was sure as hell giving it a shot. She was silent as she worked it over in her mind what he was describing and she nearly asked how he knew it swelled up when he got hard, but honestly, she didn't think she really wanted to know that. "So, it's still your dick, but with two bumps that swell when you get hard?" Rylee hoped that was the gist of what he was saying. Her lips quirked as she stepped back from where she had been holding him. But she didn't go very far, just wanting to give him a bit of room. "Can I see?"
‘Bumps’ was probably a dumb word to use, since they were more like little eggs wedged under the skin instead of razor bumps, but Carson had never been great at describing things. His cheeks and neck flushed even more when she asked to see, even though he’d fully expected that request. No sense in delaying the inevitable, he guessed. Carson nodded and undid the fly of his jeans and leaned back a bit to push them and his boxers down enough to expose his cock. When they’d been kissing it had been getting hard, but not anymore, and he felt weirdly shy as he turned the soft shaft to one side so she could see the lump there. His pubic hair had gotten a little crazy compared to how he used to like it, so that whole area just seemed like a mess to him at the moment. “It doesn’t hurt ever,” he murmured. “I thought maybe it was some crazy tumor at first or something, but then I did some reading, and I think ... I think it’s just ‘cause I was stuck as a wolf for so long.”
As strange as the whole thing was, Rylee would much rather this be related to his wrewolfism than to a tumor. That would have been something to legitimately worry about. She studied it for a moment before stepping forward again and reaching down to touch it herself. Her fingers grazed over the "bumps" and she couldn't help but wonder how that would actually feel inside of her. "Does it hurt?" Rylee asked, bringing her gaze up from his crotch to his face, though her fingers continued to touch him, stroking his velvety skin instead. Maybe if it had been any other man, she might have been put off or weirded out. But it was Carson and Rylee found she didn't care. She just wanted him there with her, alive and healthy.
Carson’s breath caught lightly when Rylee touched him. Her fingers were so soft and gentle, it almost tickled, but in the best sort of way. He met her eyes and was incredibly relieved not to see any disgust there. The knot always looked so much smaller when he didn’t have a hardon though, so Rylee hadn’t seen the full effect yet. It wouldn’t take long of her touching him to get there, though, his cock was already starting to swell under the attention. “No,” he said softly, watching her eyes. “Feels nice, actually. It’s kinda sensitive.” Wanting to touch her back but not in a pushy way, just in case, Carson trailed his fingertips up Rylee’s arm.
"Sensitive... that's not a bad thing," Rylee murmured. She wondered if there was anything else he wanted to tell her, and if there was, she was sort of hoping it could wait. He remembered her now and they were alone and she knew they couldn't stay there all day, as much as she wished they could. Rylee's grip on Carson's cock grew more firm before she let go and gripped the hem of her shirt to pull up and off of her body. Her bra came off next before her hands cupped his face and she leaned down to kiss him. Rylee knew there were things they needed to talk about and figure out, but like everything else, that could come later. She just wanted to be with him and she hoped he was on the same page.
Watching Rylee strip her upper half prompted Carson’s cock to harden all the way, and his eyes skimmed over her body before she got close to kiss him. He returned it with feeling, gratitude and arousal battling for room in his chest. Now that he’d revealed what he’d been the most worried about Rylee rejecting, there was a huge sense of relief, and he was rapidly getting to the same page. He had pesky clothes to take off too, but he wanted to feel her body against his even more urgently, so he wrapped his arms around Rylee while they kissed and leaned back, pulling her down onto the bed with him. It all felt so good, it was almost like a dream that Carson never wanted to wake up from. He kissed her deeply and ran his hands down her bare back, unable to get enough of touching her now that he knew for sure she wanted the same.
Rylee moaned into Carson's mouth, feeling his hardening cock against her. She didn't care about the bumps or the extra body hair. She didn't care about any of those changes. She just wanted him and the way he kissed her, the way her body responded? All of that was familiar and heavenly. There was a deep ache between her legs already and Rylee had to keep herself from grinding against him, given they were both in a state of partial undress. "I missed you so much," she whispered against his mouth, her hand reaching for his shirt to help him get it up and off. "I thought about you every day. I dreamed about this."
As torturous as it would have been, Carson wished he could say the same. He hadn’t had the memories or the brainpower to miss Rylee as a permanent werewolf, but he’d known something was missing. Something vital. It was her, all along. Carson sat up enough and took his hands off of her to strip his shirt off, then eagerly pressed their bare skin together again. “I’m here,” he whispered back. “I’m here now and I’m never leaving you again.” He hadn’t had a choice this time, and Carson knew he might have to eat those words some day, but at the moment he knew for certain he would rather die a horrible death than be separated from Rylee again. He kissed her hungrily, fingers moving to her pants to get her fly undone. He wanted both of them naked and tangled together as soon as possible.
Rylee knew Carson's disappearance hadn't been by choice. Maybe some of the details still eluded her, but they would talk about it eventually. After he had been gone, her chest felt hollow where her heart was supposed to be and it had reminded her so much of the time when he told her he had joined the Marines. And then he had left and there had been so much uncertainty over whether or not she would ever see him again. Rylee had always known on some level that she loved Carson, but that was when she was more consciously aware of it. Losing him again, so soon after they finally found each other in that way, had been a pain she never wanted to feel again. She had to protect him better. Keep him safe at all costs. There was such a desperate need to feel him inside of her again, to lose herself in the movement of their bodies. She kissed him back with growing intensity, trying to help him work her jeans off despite her shaking hands. As soon as they were down her thighs, Rylee pulled away from Carson long enough to kick and push them the rest of the way. She needed to calm the arousal and not rush through things, but it was difficult to slow down when she wanted him this badly.
The urgency was growing in Carson too. He hadn’t had time to fantasize about this moment, with the state he’d spent the past few months in, and then the memory loss he’d come home with. It wasn’t exactly how he would’ve wanted it -- in a dirty motel room after an embarrassing amount of worry over his body -- but that stuff didn’t really matter now. Rylee was all that mattered, and being together. He didn’t quite know where they would go from here, but Carson was a happy captive to the moment for now. While Rylee got her jeans all the way off, Carson moved to do the same with his, then got his prosthetic off so it wouldn’t get in the way. He shifted back a bit on the mattress, then reached for Rylee again as soon as his hands were free. He pulled her into his lap again, palms sliding up her thighs as their mouths crashed together once more. He was dying to be inside of her now, but he wanted to give her the control over the pacing and depth, not sure yet that he could avoid hurting her by accident. That was the last thing he wanted.
There was a part of Rylee that just wanted to push Carson back and curl around his naked body. She wanted to feel his heart beating against his chest, hear his breath against her ear. They had been sleeping in the same bed every night up until he disappeared and she had grown so used to his presence. After he was gone, she slept on the couch. It had been miserable in ways she couldn't adequately describe. It wasn't just that she lost a lover, but he was her best friend too. Now she had him back and she knew they could sleep beside one another again, once they figured out what they were doing and where they were going, if anywhere. Rylee flicked her tongue against Carson's, moaning as she rubbed herself against him. Panting, Rylee glanced down between them before lifting her gaze to his. "I don't... I mean, it won't hurt you, will it?" She didn't think so, but this was definitely different for the both of them. Rylee's blood was hot and her pussy was aching, but the last thing she wanted to do was ruin it by doing something wrong somehow.
Just feeling Rylee’s bare flesh stroking against his made Carson feel a little lightheaded. Being so close to slipping inside of her was a delightful but torturous feeling. His hands slid down to her ass and he gripped her with a bit of force for a moment before he caught himself and eased up. He felt flushed and overheated and like he wanted to roll her over and fuck her hard from behind, the impulse more of an instinct than a solid desire. Carson blinked at Rylee a bit at the question, then quirked a tiny smile and shook his head. “Not me,” he murmured. “Just ... don’t hurt you. It doesn’t have to be, uh, all of it, inside.” Before he’d gotten his memories back, he’d masturbated a few times just to feel something nice, and it hadn’t hurt at all. In fact, the knot had made it feel even better than before, he knew that now. Jerking off was very different than having sex, it was true, but Carson still didn’t think it would hurt.
Rylee could practically feel the desire radiating off of Carson and honestly, it was thrilling. It had been so long since they had been together and Rylee hadn't been with anyone else in the months that he had been gone. What would have been the point? Nobody else would have made her feel like this and she had grown beyond the phase of needing to drown her miseries in sex. With the "go ahead", Rylee smiled briefly before she kissed him again, her tongue tasting his before she reached down between them to slip his cock into place. She was wet enough that there was only minimal resistance and Rylee moaned deep in her throat as she slid down his length. She wanted to take in every inch of him, but it felt important to wait until she knew he was okay with it.
Carson obviously hadn’t been having any sex, but he was suddenly so grateful that he’d jerked off a few times since he’d gotten back, because feeling Rylee slide down around him would’ve set him off immediately. He only realized he was holding his breath when she stopped, his hands gripping her hips, and Carson let out a rush of air that was half-moan. He could feel the knot nudged up against her heat, the extra sensitivity sending sharp throbs of pleasure into his balls. Fuck, he wasn’t even sure now that he would be able to last long at all if Rylee took all of him. He kissed her breathlessly, his grip easing up so he could stroke her skin, and he did his best to hold back on the drive to start thrusting.
Rylee slid her hands over his shoulders and down his chest, fingertips exploring and pressing into his skin. She wanted to spend all day reveling in this feeling, knowing he was back and he was still hers. She throbbed around his cock, her hips rocking slowly, just to get used to feeling him inside of her again. The knot pressed against her and Rylee felt like just a shift of her hips would have him completely sheathed inside of her. There was the instinctive thought that it would feel amazing if she did it. "Can I?" she murmured against his lips, gently pressing further down his cock.
It felt all backwards, like he should be asking for her permission, but right at the same time. His body was different, and Rylee had always taken great care with him, so sensitive to his needs -- he’d been with plenty of people, but he’d never felt as cherished and protected as he did with her. Maybe that vulnerability was unmanly or some shit, but Carson didn’t care. He needed it now, and he hoped he returned it to her on some level. “Yes. Please,” he whispered, his hands rubbing over her hips to encourage her. “I need you.” He could be satisfied and get off with just having most of his cock inside of her, he was sure, but the tantalizing way she moved her body made him crave that singular feeling of being totally buried in his lover.
She needed him too, in so many ways. Right now she felt desperate and aching to have him buried completely within her, so Rylee pressed another breathless kiss to his lips as she shifted her hips just enough to take him fully inside of her. A soft breath shuddered past her lips and Rylee clung to him, just to feel him inside of her and holding her again. The instinctive urge to move was there, but she held off, wanting to savor the moment with the knowledge that she would never let him out of her sight again. Well, obviously that wasn't exactly possible, but she wasn't going to lose him again. No more dangerous shit, no more letting him put himself at risk. Carson was hers now and she would fight anyone who tried to take him from her again.
Carson would have wholeheartedly agreed with all of that if there’d been any room in his brain for anything but pleasure at the moment. Pleasure and the bone-deep need for Rylee. He hadn’t remembered himself long enough to make any plans for the future, all he knew was that he needed to be with her. Everything else was just details. As her hot body slid further down his length to engulf the rest of his new cock, Carson pushed up against the pressure. A long, low groan escaped him as that delicious feeling sank in. It was a tight fit, but that just made it feel fantastic to Carson, and he hoped Rylee was feeling the same. She was wet enough. He stroked her back as his mouth found hers again, his cock giving a couple of flexes inside of her. Fuck, that would take some getting used to, it was so good.
It was a tight fit, but it stretched her so deliciously that Rylee was pretty damn sure she would have very little trouble getting off. Moaning against his mouth, Rylee couldn't keep still for very long. Her hips began to move, rocking into his, just wanting to feel him deep inside of her for a bit longer. Reconnecting with him this way was a dream... an erotic one, of course, but still a dream. Needing to breathe a little, she began to kiss along his jaw, down to his neck. Everything she was feeling was already so intense that it was difficult not to start thrusting against him until they were both crying out. But she had been sure she would never feel this way again, so she really wanted to savor every second of it that she could.
His balls already felt high and tight, and Carson couldn’t stop the soft moan that came with almost every exhale. It was an intense sensation, and the way Rylee moved over him only made it more so. He tilted his head to give her room, his hands restlessly moving over her back and sides and hips, then back to squeeze her ass. His body craved friction, there was an instinct like a drum beat in the back of his head to start fucking her hard and fast, until he filled her with his seed, but Carson knew it wasn’t time for that yet. He wanted this to last, to really enjoy it with the love of his life. He moved with her a little though, pushing in deep in time with her rocking, letting them both get used to this new fit. “You feel so fucking good,” he whispered in the meantime, close to her ear, wanting her to know for sure.
Rylee buried her face against his throat, moaning again as the pleasure intensified and blossomed, spreading to every inch of her body. "You do too," she breathed, nipping gently at his throat before she lifted her face to press her forehead to his. It certainly felt different, but not in a bad way. Definitely not in a bad way. Rylee wanted more, more movement, more pressure. Her body demanded it but she was trying to keep a slower pace, not wanting Carson to go off too soon. Her hands slid over his upper back to his shoulders and she kissed him again while rolling her hips into his harder. Sparks of heat seemed to spread with every movement of their bodies. Even being apart for as long as they were, their bodies were still perfectly in sync.
Carson hadn’t really known it, but he hadn’t felt whole until now. Getting his memories back had been amazing, but he’d been desperate for Rylee since the first second of remembering, and now he really had her back. It made his chest feel tight with emotion, getting all jumbled up with the incredible pleasure flowing between them. Being physical with each other had always meant so much to them, and it was such a relief to feel it again. He hadn’t been very aware of missing Rylee while he’d been gone, but Carson felt that deep down, he had. He’d known that this had been taken from him, and now he had it back. He kissed her with intensity, starting to move his hips with hers to thrust up deeper into her as she rocked over him. Carson groaned and grunted into the kiss, the pressure building rapidly in his balls. He wasn’t going to be able to last very long, but god, he wanted to feel Rylee come first.
Rylee was helpless to do anything but move with Carson, letting the intensity of pleasure wash over her. Panting, she fisted her hand in his hair, pressing her cheek to his. The way Carson filled her was unlike anything she had experienced before and she was a little surprised at how close she was to coming already. Her brain told her to slow down and make it last, but her body was in control and it felt too good to stop now. Moaning his name, Rylee reached down between their bodies to touch herself. Her clit was slick and swollen and it only took a moment or two before she was flying, crying out against Carson's throat as her entire body shook under the weight of pleasure. She knew that it was an emotional reunion and neither of them had been physical with anyone in months, but somehow Rylee was convinced that she hadn't had an orgasm this intense in a while. It might have had something to do with Carson's knot, or just Carson in general, but it certainly wasn't anything she could think about right now. Not with her body throbbing and her mind completely devoid of everything but the smell and feel of Carson.
He was practically dizzy with all of it -- the incredible pleasure, the intense new sensations in his cock, the emotion swelling in his chest, the distinct and delicious scent of sex in the air. Carson didn’t think he’d ever felt like this, and he and Rylee had had their fair share of mind-blowing sex. When she started to climax around him, he was totally lost in it, having lost all control he might have had. He fucked up into her with abandon, the extra tight clenching around his cock sending him reeling, and Rylee was still crying out in ecstasy when Carson followed her over the edge. His hands gripped her ass tight as he pumped into her hard a couple more times, grunting from deep in his gut as his back arching off the bed as pleasure overwhelmed him and he emptied himself inside of Rylee. He felt like he was purging in more than just the physical sense, his body letting go of fear and tension and grief that had been lingering for so fucking long. This was home and he was back in it, and he never, ever wanted to give it up again.
Rylee was still flying high from her own orgasm when Carson reached his and her cries grew louder still until they were both dizzy and spent. Her body was sweaty and singing, her mind foggy and devoid of everything but Carson. Panting, Rylee settled on top of Carson, tucking her face against his throat again until she was able to breathe properly. Even as her skin started to cool, Rylee wanted him again. It was a feeling she embraced, love overwhelming everything else. Lifting her face, Rylee smiled softly and kissed him as much as she could while they were still catching their breath. "I missed you so much," she murmured against his lips.
He loved having her weight against him, loved feeling her chest heaving against his own, and Carson curled his arms loosely around Rylee, eyes slipping shut as they rested for a few moments. His cock still felt tingly and good, even as it slowly relaxed inside of her warmth, and he never wanted to move. He did though, to kiss her back and smile himself. “I missed you too,” Carson whispered. Even if he hadn’t done it consciously, he hoped she knew that he was incomplete without her. And right then Carson didn’t give a single shit who knew anymore. All he cared about was Rylee. “M’never leaving you again.”
Rylee pressed another soft kiss to his mouth before pushing up a bit on her hands, her hair falling in a curtain around them. He was everything to her and all Rylee could think about was getting him out of Point Pleasant. If they stayed, she would lose him again. It was a certainty that made her tighten painfully. "I want you to move to Virginia with me," Rylee whispered, searching his eyes with her own. "I know this isn't exactly the right time to ask... there are a lot of things to deal with here, but... we can be together there. I just... we can't stay here, Carson. I want to be happy and I want you to be safe."
She was so beautiful, it made his chest ache. Carson gazed up into her eyes, able to smell her shampoo mixing with the faint musk of their physical reunion, and he thought he would’ve done anything she asked of him right then. If Rylee had wanted to try to move to the moon, he would’ve done his best to make it happen. He nodded slightly and wet his lips. “I want those things too,” he murmured softly. “With you. So ... let’s do it.” It would be scary, moving away, which was probably all backwards, but Carson knew in his heart it would be true. The last time he’d left home for an extended period of time he’d gotten blown up. But this would be different, he would be going to really start a life with Rylee, and after the past few months, he wanted that more than anything. “I want you to be safe too, and this is a bad place. It’s just ... rotten.”
He agreed so readily that it actually took Rylee a moment to register that's what happened. And then she smiled, leaning down to kiss him with enthusiasm. Point Pleasant was their home and they had roots there, but Carson was right. It was a rotten place. People who left had trouble staying gone, but Rylee was confident that they could put the town behind them for good. "I love you so much," she whispered, peppering kisses along his jaw and down to his throat. "I promise you'll love it. We can get a bigger apartment, and there's a Veteran and Family Support program through the DVS that you could get involved in, if you want to." They could figure out what to do on the nights of the full moon too. It would work out.
It seemed to make her so happy, Carson couldn’t help but grin into the kiss, letting out a titter as she kissed him all over, his hands rubbing her sides gently. Rylee’s enthusiasm was contagious, and Carson felt some long-standing tension in his core relaxing. It was true that people who left Point Pleasant tended to come back, everybody knew that. But maybe it would be different for them, even if they got away for just a few good years ... “I love you too,” Carson murmured, gazing up at her with open adoration. “That all sounds fucking great. I just wanna be with you, for real.” That would be so much easier if they were in another state, hundreds of miles away. They would have to be careful about social media maybe, but Carson knew they could figure it out. As for the full moon ... there had to be plenty of woods in Virginia he could set himself loose in, right? At the moment Carson felt sure they would come up with a plan of some kind.
"I want to be with you too. I want to be able to hold your hand in public and not worry about who sees us." Rylee kissed him again, aware that it could be love and endorphins that were making her so optimistic, but she didn't care. It felt like something they could finally do and she didn't want to let it go. "I think if your family knows you want to do some work for the VA in Virginia, they won't question it. They know we're close." She reached up to brush some hair back from his forehead. "We'll make sure everything is settled. And we can always come back and visit if we want to. I just... we can't stay here, you know?"
It did feel like the time to do it, if they were going to, Carson agreed. His family would probably be upset that he was leaving after being missing for months, but they wouldn’t put up a fuss about it, especially since he was going with Rylee. They knew that she injected so much stability into his life. If only they knew the full truth of it. Gazing up at her, Carson gave a solemn nod. “I know,” he murmured, even if parts of his brain wanted to resist it. Point Pleasant was home, but ... it kept trying to kill him, kept throwing unbelievable bullshit their way, it was too dangerous to stay. If they wanted to have a life together, if they wanted to live, they needed to do it somewhere else. And goddammit, Carson wanted to live. “I’m not worried about them, I think after this they would accept me doing whatever I want, you know? It’s been too much bullshit.”
Rylee knew they might get some pushback from their families, mostly Carson's, but she didn't think it would create a huge problem. They would want him to be healthy and happy and even they had to admit that Point Pleasant was a rotten place to live. Rylee nodded in agreement and pressed another soft kiss to his lips. Despite the stress and grief since Carson's disappearance, Rylee felt happier and lighter than she had in months. He was home and he was okay and they would be putting Point Pleasant in their rearview soon enough. "This is the happiest I've been in months," she told him, smiling a little as she pushed some hair back behind her ear. "I want to get out of here before something tries to take it away from me."
Carson felt like he could deal with anything now, except for being separated from Rylee again. So that was what he was going to make happen, no matter what their zip code was. Hearing that she was so happy made him happy. It was really starting to sink in that he was really home for real, and knew who he was, and everything could only get better from there. Carson wrapped his arms more tightly around Rylee and grinned as he rolled them, ending up on top of her, where he proceeded to pepper kisses all over her face. “You and me both,” he mumbled, then kissed on her some more with a low rumble in his chest. “M’gonna keep you happy this time.” There were just some loose ends he had to tie up, goodbyes to say, then they could do whatever they wanted with their lives. “I love you,” Carson added before he kissed her lips.
Rylee held on when he rolled them over, her hands immediately slipping around his sides to his back. She kissed him back, humming happily in her throat. She loved her family and her friends, but Carson was more important to her than all of them and she wanted to be somewhere safe and secure, somewhere where they could be together and not worry every day about what was going to happen, or what could happen. "I love you too," Rylee said, smoothing her palms down his back. "We can stay here for a while, can't we? Just another hour or two?" She wanted him again and the last thing Rylee wanted to do was have to rush back to Point Pleasant now that she had him.
“Several hours, if you want,” Carson murmured with a warm smile. His cock had never fully slipped out of her, they’d stayed so close, and the bit of friction from changing position was starting to wake it up again. It was faster than his old recovery period, but Carson knew from fooling around with himself recently -- that was just how it was now. Had he gained an animal libido on top of the other animal traits? He supposed they would find out in short order, now that he was in his right mind again. He shifted his arms to slide them under Rylee’s shoulders and hold her close, dipping in to kiss her with a bit more purpose. He wanted to indulge in one another as much as they possibly could before they had to face the outside world again. That would come soon enough. For now, there was so much time to make up for.