Finn Haynes (finnigan_h) wrote in shadows_rpg, @ 2019-01-04 20:41:00 |
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Entry tags: | #november 2017 |
Who: Neilan and Fin
When: Sunday 26 November
Where: Point Pleasant Cemetery
Status: Complete
The small white flakes that continued to drift down from the sky kind of set the mood for the whole day. Going the cemetery wasn’t really something at the top of Fin’s ‘things to do’ list at any time of the year but he still went to visit his dad’s niche and plaque in the Columbarium wall in the Point Pleasant Cemetery regularly and seeing as he hadn’t visited since the week after his ‘incident’ so decided it was high time he went, after all it was getting near the time of Cameron’s passing and this year marked thirty years.
In a way it was kind of good timing as Neilan had expressed interest in visiting it and Fin didn’t really want him to go alone, strange cemeteries could be daunting and with the size and history of the town (not to mention the strange angel statues and the mausoleum) it wasn’t really somewhere to go without someone who at least knew their way around. Dressed in thick pants and with an extra coat on the backseat Fin drove with Neilan to the cemetery, his usual cheery demeanor was a bit somber today but considering where they were going it wasn’t really a cheerful place anyway.
Once they arrived at the cemetery Neilan placed his gloved hand on Fin’s. The beanie on his head only covered most of his curls and he had his duster with a grey jumper on underneath. “Thank you for coming with me.” He said to Fin who had been quiet almost the entire ride there. He’d never been to the cemetery mostly because he refused to acknowledge the thought that his brother might be dead out there somewhere, but this was important if it brought him any step closer to finding him.
As they got out of the car he looked around before looking over at Fin and immediately grabbing his hand. “Shall we?” He asked, hoping for Fin to lead the way. Fin had mentioned a bit about his life and all the trials he had to face over the last few years even that Neilan was almost afraid to ask more details because he didn’t want to bring up any unpleasant thoughts. Still he was curious and he hoped, in time when Fin was ready, that he would tell him more.
The last time he had visited the cemetery with anyone was to visit his father with Danny, and that was years ago. Showing this side was something he very rarely done, it was something he kept close to his chest, when people found out about a deceased parent most of the time they would say how sorry they were, give sympathies and the like, but Fin didn't remember Cameron - save for the photos and second hand details. Though now it did seem a bit silly visiting a brass plaque on a brick wall when his father's spirit was actively around him.
He was grateful that Neilan took his hand when they got out of the car. “Yeah.” He took a breath. “Where do you want to go?” Fin asked, if there was somewhere in particular that Neilan was interested in seeing - for whatever reason - they'd go there first, not like Cameron was going anywhere. His thumb brushed the underside of the gold band he was wearing on his right hand, he'd share some details with Neilan, but it was all still too new to just say I have a personal ghost. Was it still haunting if the ghost helped you out? Fin pushed that to the back of his mind as they walked through the big iron gates, a shiver going down his spine as they did so, something felt odd, well more than usual.
Neilan didn’t actually know what he was looking for here but he knew that at the very least he could look around to see if anything might bring him closer. He shrugged his shoulders at the question and followed Fin through the gates. Sure it was creepy there but if Neilan was going to have to do everything he could possibly do. “Doesn’t matter I suppose. Not entirely sure what it is I’m looking for.” He admitted, feeling himself chill from the cold air and just the overall feeling of the place. He knew there was a grave here that Fin wanted to visit so the thought came to his head to do that first and foremost and then they could explore afterwards.
“Let’s go to the grave first.” He suggested since that seemed like the best option at this point. This was, from what he’d heard, the last place he was seen but where on the property was still a bit of a mystery to him.
Fin simply nodded, the old adage of I’ll know it when I find it sprung into his mind and so many times that was right, maybe the answer Neilan was seeking was here or maybe it wasn’t and there was only one way to find out and that was by looking for himself, Fin was just glad that Neilan hadn’t come here alone. They walked through the oldest part of the cemetery, where there were many old headstones that had fallen, broken or just fallen into a state of decay, he did see from a distance what appeared to be a few with more recent damage that were sectioned off with police tape but he didn’t get to close because that older section always made his skin crawl and today was no different.
It was only a matter of minutes before they reached the Columbarium Wall, knowing his father’s plaque was on the other side he walked around it with Neilan, and stepping forward onto the concrete footing when he saw it. Letting go of Neilan’s hand he reached out and brushed the light dusting of snow off the top. “Hey Dad. I’m sorry that I haven’t visited you in a few months, well you know what’s happened.” He gave a small smile as he talked to the wall, not really caring how silly he might look as he focused on the ring on his finger, the thing that linked Cameron’s spirit to this world and Fin. “I was wondering if you could keep an eye out for someone… his name’s Torsten and let’s face it, any accent other than a French one stands out around here… if he’s there, please give me a sign.” He added the last thing in a whisper.
He stood as he listened to Fin talking to his father's grave. Neilan never really experienced a death in the family save from a grandparent or two so he didn’t really know what it was like to be so connected to someone that speaking to their gravestone might be a release. Fin said something quietly that Neilan didn’t hear and he was about to ask Fin when he felt someone’s hand on his shoulder. He turned around only to see a gust of wind blow in the direction of the forest. Stunned, Neilan looked down at Fin and then back at where the gust of wind had gone. “Something just happened.” He said suddenly, feeling a chill all over his body. “What was that? It’s like someone touched me. I..” He was speechless at that and that was something highly unusual for Neilan.
Neilan himself wasn’t necessarily superstitious but with what he’d seen in his life he wasn’t going to say there wasn’t something more at work here. Maybe a sign of where he was. The police officer had mentioned that he’d been seen near the forest.
While he didn't remember much about his father when he was alive Fin had since discovered that a lot of those 'coincidences’ and feelings he had in the past were in fact his father trying to reach out to him or protect him from other forces that meant him harm - such as the spirit in the ocean that twice now tried to get him. What he wouldn't give for Dominic to still be around, though surely in a town like this there were bound to be other mediums who could communicate with the deceased.
Fin was still looking at his hand and the plaque when he heard the wind pick up for a moment, he didn't think that it was anything - the wind was unpredictable at the best of times. It wasn't until Neilan said that something had just happened that Fin took his gaze away from the wall and looked around at the man standing behind him. He hadn't expected a response that quickly, if it was geared towards him that was. “Neilan… I…” what could he say at that moment. Taking his hand off the wall he turned his whole body to give Neilan a hug.
Still in shock from what just happened Neilan was surprised when Fin put his arms around him. Neilan returned the hug, thinking that Fin was just overcome with emotion over his dead father. “Fin, I think it was a sign. I think something’s trying to tell me that he’s in those woods.” He surmised, still holding onto Fin to try and comfort him. He hadn’t heard anything Fin had said in that last part so he didn’t really grasp the gravity of the situation. He didn’t know why he didn’t even think of looking in the woods. That’s where the police officer had told him they’d checked. “I know you can’t get your father back, or Danny but maybe I can get Torsten back.” He said which was really quite sad considering what the true news was.
He let Fin go a bit and looked down at him. “Hey, hey, you’re alright yeah?” It seemed the only thing that would be at all comforting to Fin at that very moment.
Any emotions Fin had about his father he had gotten out years ago, how could he tell Neilan the real reason for his sudden emotion that wouldn’t make him sound like a someone who was crazy and should be locked up in a mental institution. When Neilan mentioned that something was trying to tell him about the woods that seemed like a better explanation than the one in his head of I asked my father to let me know if your brother was in the spirit world and that was his answer, because how would he react if his brother was deceased? Especially coming from his boyfriend. If it came to it Fin would tell the truth, but only when Neilan had crossed off every other possibility, because maybe Cameron was wrong, there had to be more than one Torsten out there. He bit his lip a bit when Neilan stated he might get his brother back, trying not to show too much emotion.
“Yeah… sorry.” He offered a small smile and looked at Neilan. “The woods… not really another place that’s on the ‘highlights of Point Pleasant’, especially not at this time of the year.” It was usually late fall when the reports of animal caracases and the odd late season hiker going missing came in. If Torsten disappeared a year ago it could be possible. “It’s not really safe to go anywhere at this time of the year, at least til spring comes.” It was a pretty vague statement and he knew that Neilan wouldn’t wait another three or four months to find out answers about his brother, if it was Danny he wouldn’t wait either.
He looked at Fin as he let him go and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “I can’t wait for spring. I have to find him, Fin. If he’s out there I have to find him.” Neilan said, taking another look at the woods in the distance. He had so many questions and yet while Neilan had his experience it did seem a bit silly that he managed to so very much believe in this gut feeling he had. Neilan didn’t run off of gut feelings, he ran off of facts, much like his brother. It must have been the way they were raised but at this point in time when it was nearly impossible for the police to help, he was desperate. He stared into the woods for a bit before returning his gaze back to Fin. “Will you find him with me?” He asked Fin, because he wasn’t sure he’d be able to do this alone.
Still standing close to one another, Fin reached out and took both of Neilan's hand in his, he already was feeling like an ass for what he was about to say, so after a deep breath he just said it, “Just please, don't get your hopes up too much, happy endings rarely happen when it comes to missing people.” There, he had said it. Though saying that truth did hurt because it was also him admitting that he didn't hold out much hope, if any, for Danny to ever return. He had to focus on Neilan now and not let the past dictate his future. Dropping a hand he reached out and rested a hand on Neilan's cheek. “I'll try, but please, if I say don't go somewhere you've got to promise me you won't go there. I don't want to lose you too.”
Neilan looked into Fin’s eyes as he grabbed his hands and sighed. Of course Fin didn’t want him to give his hopes up because Torsten had been missing for over a year at this point. He bit down on his lip when Fin sort of commanded him not to go places. “Fin, you know I can’t do that. I have to figure out where he is and if you’re there with me then you can make sure I that you don’t lose me, alright?” He also didn’t like the idea of someone telling him where he could and couldn’t go. He wasn’t a child and he didn’t appreciate being treated like one at all. Still, he couldn’t be mad at Fin for that because he was genuinely worried for him. While it was easy to believe his gut, it was hard to believe Fin when he said that some places in this town were dangerous. He brought a gloved hand to Fin’s face to cup his cheek and smiled at him. “How about this, I promise you I won’t go anywhere different without telling you first.” He compromised.
Fin's words were out of concern, he would've kicked himself if he had any idea that Neilan was thinking was more of a command than Fin just looking out for his safety. While he didn't know everything about the town's dark secrets, he knew a lot more than Neilan did and hoped the other man would at least take some care and exercise caution when trying to find his brother. Neilan's suggestion of if they went somewhere together he wouldn't lose him did seem like the best idea in a less than ideal situation. His eyes slipped shut for a moment as he pressed into Neilan's gloved hand. “How about not going anywhere without me?” He asked, opening his eyes again. “Some local knowledge wouldn't hurt.” He hoped Neilan would agree, but at the same time understood if he wanted to do this alone.
He smiled at that, the compromise that Fin had come up with. It had been a long time since anyone wanted to be in a relationship with compromise with him and he was grateful that Fin was willing to. “Deal.” He replied, pressing a kiss to Fin’s lips and trying not to seem too excited around him. They were in a cemetery visiting Fin’s dead father so elation didn’t seem like the right kind of emotion to display here. He brought his hand back to hold Fin’s so both their hands held each other’s. “Tell me what you know about your dad.” He suggested, hoping maybe he could get to know a little more about Fin this way too.
It was unrealistic in Fin's view that two people would agree on everything, so compromise to him was all part of a good relationship, that and communication. In the past few weeks he could feel himself getting more and more attracted to Neilan, it was too early to say things like 'love’ but it was going towards that, he hoped. He smiled at the kiss and gave their joined a squeeze before dropping one and leading Neilan away from where they had been standing to find somewhere in the cemetery where they could talk, thankfully there were a few benches scattered around the grounds. “I can't remember him but here's what I'm told…” Fin started talking about what he knew about his father - a hard working father who adored his only child and did what he could to provide the best for his family. He shared a few little tales he had heard and ended with the sad ending of Cameron's passing nearing 30 years ago, that he was killed in an industrial accident but to this day he never found out the actual cause of death.
As they found a bench and sat Neilan listened to Fin about his father. He couldn’t even imagine what it would have been like to grow up without one and his hand rubbed Fin’s back as he retold what he’d probably told many times before. “Do you ever wish you got to meet him?” He asked, peering out into the cemetery. There really was something wholly unsettling about this particular cemetery. Back home he’d been to plenty and never did feel the same as he felt here. His nerves were still on edge from feeling that sign and it took all of his willpower not to run off into the forest to go find his brother but the last thing he wanted to do was upset Fin, so he stayed by his side.
Over the years Fin hadn't told many people about his father, those who were locals and knew his family mostly already knew, in a way it felt good to share this part of him and his life with Neilan, even after just a short time. The hand rubbing his back was soothing, though there wasn't a lot of emotion on Fin's part as he talked, that part of his life he didn't remember and only had other people's recollections and memories to go off. “I do, though sometimes I feel like he's still looking out for me.” One day he'd tell Neilan about his friendly spirit, but not today. The soft snowfall had started again so taking one of Neilan's hands he stood up. “Do you want to have a quick look around? I think I've bored you enough as it is.”
Neilan stood as the hand was offered and shook his head. “You don’t bore me, I wouldn’t be with you if you bored me.” He replied with a smile and began walking with Fin. Of course he probably wouldn’t have even begun a relationship with someone who bored him so it wasn’t hard to believe that Fin held his interest. “Yeah let’s have a look see.” He agreed, following down a path passed headstone after headstone. The longer they walked the grimmer it got. Graffiti that hadn’t been scrubbed off on several gravestones and dead flowers amongst the others. “Do you ever wonder what’ll happen to your memory after you die? I don’t suppose any of these people thought they’d be in graves left abandoned for years. I guess we’d all like to think we’d be admired and loved forever after death, but it’s just not realistic is it? People have to move on and they have to sort of forget their dead.” This was the part of his day where incessant rambling monopolized most conversations.
Fin didn't see himself or anything in his life as all that interesting so it made him smile, just a bit, when Neilan said wasn't boring. It was nice to know that someone else thought that of him, his self esteem the past few months hadn't exactly been sky high. And in a honesty they weren't just meandering through the cemetery, Fin did have a destination in mind, his great grandparents’ graves which were nearer to the exit but this was just the long way around. “I'm not sure about the memory of me after I'm gone, I hope I'll be remembered for Books and Beer if nothing else. As for my body I've left instructions that I'd like to be cremated and my ashes scattered off the coast or something just as cliche. I'm going to be dead so I don't think I'll really care.” Though he guessed that maybe, like his father death mightn't actually be the end and his spirit might remain on earth. “But if my spirit stays here, I'm going to haunt the store.” He said with a smirk on his lips.
“Will you haunt me?” He asked Fin with a smirk on his face. “I’d really love to wake up to a ghost blowjob. Can’t say I’ve ever had one of those before.” He teased, following Fin the long way around to his grandparents graves. He knew it probably wasn’t appropriate to joke about the dead at a cemetery but sometimes Neilan just couldn’t help himself. He supposed it was the innate dark sense of humor him and his family had. He recalled joking about much darker things with Torsten on a regular basis. He supposed his brother brought it out in him since he tended to be a cheeky fucker. “I’d haunt you.” He offered, squeezing Fin's hand a bit as they walked.
“You've been watching the original Ghostbusters, haven't you?” Because who'd forget that scene? While it wasn't something he expected to hear, in a cemetery of all places Fin did appreciate the dark bit of humour. “You'll just have to settle for regular ones I'm afraid, the white sheet might get in the way.” The pace of walking slowed until Fin finally stopped beside a grave that had two names on the headstone. Letting go of Neilan's hand he walked up the side of the grave til he reached the headstone and knelt down beside it. “Hey Ol’ Ma and Ol' Pa, did these get knocked off again?” He asked, picking up a few of the small stones that had fallen off the top of the flat surface and placing them back, satisfied he walked back to where Neilan was standing. “My paternal great grandparents. I remember Ol’ Pa as a kid him telling my cousins and I about Passover and lighting the menorah when Hanukkah arrived. I still don't think they were happy that their daughter married a protestant man rather than a Jewish one.” He gave a small smile. “The rest of the family, except for a couple of Haynes relatives are buried elsewhere in Maine. Some stayed in town but a lot didn't.”
Neilan couldn’t say much about his grandparents or anything about his great grandparents because he’d really only met them a handful of times before their death. He imagined what childhood would have been like if he’d ever had a relationship with any of them and wondered how different his life might have been. “Why didn’t they stay?” He asked. He only had been in this town for a few months but it seemed like a lovely enough place. Sure there were a lot of strange going ons but nothing that made him feel unsafe in any way. Maybe he should feel unsafe. “I don’t know about you but I like this town. More and more every day.” The thought of the sign still weighed heavy in his head and it took all of his willpower at the moment not to run into the forest to find his brother.
Fin only really knew and remembered his paternal great grandfather, the rest of them had already passed before he was born or when he was a toddler but family was family and he was grateful to have what he had. Sadly he hadn’t gotten along well with his father’s parents after he introduced them to Danny all those years ago, religious views put the wedge between them. “They found jobs and partners elsewhere, it’s not a big town as you’ve seen and they just moved on. Sometimes I wonder what I’d do if I didn’t have the store, if I’d leave town and see what else there is out there in the world but for now at least as long as I’ve got Books and Beer I’m not going anywhere.” He smiled over at Neilan. It was a quirky little town but Fin loved it and it was home. “The town does seem to grow on you.” He took Neilan’s hand in his and started to lead him away from the graves. “Anywhere else?”
He looked around the cemetery to see if there was anything else he’d like to check out, and that’s when he saw the closed-off mausoleum. “What’s that?” He asked, pointing to it. It seemed a bit odd that a mausoleum would be closed off in a cemetery and something about it intrigued him. He didn’t know why or what was going on with it but he almost had an undeniable urge to see what was inside. He hadn’t done a lot of research on the towns history as of yet but he knew some places were best avoided.
Fin looked around and saw that Neilan was talking about the Noble Mausoleum and cringed a bit. “One of those places that I warned you about. Whatever is in there is definitely not of this world, I’ve only heard of one guy ever coming out of there alive and he’s currently stuck in some asylum with no memory of anything. I know how crazy that sounds but I promise I wouldn’t lie to you.” He took Neilan’s hand and started leading him away from the mausoleum and towards the entrance of the cemetery. “Just thinking about it creeps me out. Did you feel like going out for lunch or something? I’ve got a few hours til I have to head to work.”
He kept staring at it a moment before turning his attention back to Fin. “What? Oh sorry, I actually have to call my mum and da. Can I take a rain check?” He asked, figuring Fin probably wanted to feed himself before work regardless. He did have to call them considering if he waited too much longer it would be way too late for them all the way back home. Normally Neilan wouldn’t say no to Fin about anything but this was important, and especially after that sign he was desperate to talk to them. As he followed Fin out of the cemetery he felt an eerie feeling, like there was no reason for him to leave that place behind. He’d chuck it up to the fact that he knew, he just knew that Torsten was alive. As they got into the car he took a deep breath. He hadn’t realized how cold he’d been until they got into the relatively warm space of the car.
Fin noticed Neilan’s distraction and the response of asking for a rain check didn’t really surprise him, he just really hoped that Neilan wasn’t going to go and try to break the lock and take a look for himself, or go back on his word and explore the woods by himself. “Yeah, no worries. I’ll drop you at your place so you can call them. Give them my regards.” Fin said. Getting back in the car Fin turned the key and with one last look out at the cemetery he put the car into gear and left the cemetery parking lot. “I’m going to be working Wednesday morning instead of the evening, did you want to go out on a date Wednesday night?” He glanced over at Neilan as they drove along. “Or we could have a quiet night in and listen to or play some music.” He hoped the answer would be yes, because he really enjoyed it when they spent time together.
Neilan watched as the cemetery disappeared from view, thinking about the feeling he got back there. When Fin suggested a date Wednesday night he looked up and over at Fin. “Yeah sounds lovely, we could take in a film?” He suggested since a movie date had yet to happen and really Neilan hadn’t gone to the local movie theatre at all yet anyway. He did love popcorn and candy when he was allowed a cheat day and it had been quite a bit since he’d had a cheat day. “We could see that film about Winston Churchill.” He suggested, wondering if Fin was actually into Biopics or if they’d have to choose a different one. It didn’t much matter to him as long as he was with Fin.
Fin glanced over at Neilan’s suggestion of a seeing a movie, it sounded like a really good idea, better than his of getting something to eat and staying at home, though he had a feeling that anything that they did would lead to fooling around anyway. “Sounds like a great idea. The local theatre only opens on weekends but there’s the Multiplex a town over, they show pretty much everything.” Though Fin knew most of the roads around town by heart he still concentrated hard, it was times where people became to complacent behind the wheel that accidents happened. “That’s the one with Gary Oldman isn’t it?” Fin asked when the Winston Churchill movie was brought up. “Sounds interesting and might stop us from making out in the back.” He smirked and winked over at Neilan, though he suspected a bit of cuddling would still occur on their date. “What time do you want me to pick you up?”
He chuckled at Fin’s comment about making out and crossed his arms over his chest as he figured a good time for Fin to pick him up. “I don’t know, around seven?” He suggested, knowing it would be enough time for him to have gotten home from work and grabbed something to eat. “I think Gary Oldman is the world's most underrated actor. I can’t think of a single role he played that I didn’t like.” He’d always been a big fan of him and often sought out rarer movies of him just to see him act more. He supposed it might have been due to an unknown crush he’d harbored on him from ‘Sid and Nancy.’
“I’ll check the session times when I get back, if there’s a session that starts just before then I’ll let you know and drop by a bit earlier. You get home from the school around half past five, right?” Fin asked as they got closer to the Castle View complex, in a way he was already missing just living across the hall from Neilan but it wasn’t like they lived hours apart from each other now, just a few minutes but at least he knew exactly where he was going. “I agree with you there, I loved him in The Fifth Element even with that weird assed haircut and plastic hat thing. And Dracula, he creeped the hell out of me in that movie.” Fin gave a bit of a shiver thinking about that movie, he and Danny used to love sitting and watching movies like that, the cornier the better. “Maybe we can grab a quick bite afterwards if we don’t stuff ourselves on popcorn and soda.”
“Yeah probably closer to 5:30 just depending on how messy the classroom is at the end of the day.” Which was always the worst part about being a teacher. High school kids were messy and it sometimes took him a long time to clean up after them. As they approached his street Neilan thought about what he could tell his parents. It wasn’t like a gut feeling was going to convince them in any way. Maybe he could say he found a new lead or something. “Dinner after sounds lovely, maybe we could find somewhere in town to eat this time.” He suggested. Not that he minded going to the next town over, he just figured he could try out more of what the town had to offer.
At least Fin now had a time frame to work with, he just hoped that the movie would have an evening session and it wouldn't run too late, it was a school night after all and he didn't want to keep Neilan up half the night. “I'll look for after six, just to be on the safe side.” He smiled over at Neilan, slowing down as they approached the complex, the close relationship between Neilan and his parents made Fin wonder if it was time to go and see his mother, try to settle things between them, he did miss her. “There's not a lot of choice in town but have a look around and if somewhere takes your fancy just let me know, I'll eat almost anything.” Pulling into the carpark for the apartments he put the car into neutral and reached over for Neilan's hand. “Thank you for coming out with me today.”
Neilan smiled at that and leaned over to press a quick kiss to Fin’s lips. “Any time.” He replied, as he buttoned his jacket up. “I’ll see you Wednesday?” He asked before opening the car door to head back to his apartment. It was odd now that they didn’t live so close but he knew he’d have to get used to it and Fin wasn’t too far away. “Bye.” He said as he waved before closing the car door and heading back up to his apartment. He knew this feeling had meant something and he was going to find his brother if it was the last thing he did.