Who: Jules and Jasper When: During school, Monday, November 27 Where: School parking lot Status: Complete
It was between sixth and seventh period when Jules felt her phone vibrate in the back pocket of her jeans. It wasn’t unusual to get text messages from Jasper, or her friends, in between classes when they wouldn’t see each other in the halls, but rarely did she get texts from numbers she didn’t know. She shut her locker as she opened up the message with her thumb, finding not a message, but a small video screen. Brows drawn together in curiosity and confusion, Jules glanced up and down the hallway to see if someone nearby was watching, or pulling a prank on her or something. The sound of another incoming text drew her attention back down to her phone, where beneath the video a short message appeared. Watch it.
Well, wasn’t this all very mysterious? Something akin to a chuckle caught in Jules’s throat and she almost deleted the entire thing. For all she knew some creeper guy was sending her a jerking off video. Or something gross. Jules began to walk down the hall, still looking down at her phone. She sent back a quick reply. Who is this? but by the time she turned the corridor at the end, she hadn’t gotten an answer. Knowing that the bell would ring soon, Jules slipped into the girls bathroom and found it empty. She sighed and leaned back against the wall, turning up the volume on her phone before pressing the tiny triangle play button on the video. Almost immediately she recognized Jasper’s backyard. Okay, well, more the fence around it. And she could see Jasper and Ruby over the fence on his back porch, talking. They were mid-conversation about something. The bonfire? This was all very weird, because who the hell was even recording this and why?
The confusion shifted into something else as the video and conversation continued. By the time it stopped Jules felt… well, she didn’t know how she felt. Her stomach hurt and her hands felt a little shaky as she shoved her phone into her back pocket again. The bell had rung a minute or two before and she was late to class, but didn’t really care. It was obvious Jasper and Ruby hadn’t known someone was on the other side of the fence, recording their conversation. And how the fuck did that person get her cell phone number? More than anything, what the fuck was Ruby thinking? Jules knew the two of them weren’t really friends, but still. Who did that?
Jules left the bathroom, not entirely sure what to do. Go to class and suffer, or go home and suffer. She would get in trouble if she left. She would miss cheerleading practice. The school would call her mom for ditching. Not that Jules feared repercussions from her mom, but Margaret Cooper would just find a way to blame Jules skipping her last class on Jasper. Jasper, whose voice was stuck in her head now. It’s not like I wouldn’t go out with you. Jasper, who thought Ruby was hot and cool and why didn’t she tell him how she felt sooner and… fuck it. Jules swallowed hard and headed for the nearest exit doors, thankful that they were only locked from the outside.
She was immediately freezing, having left her coat and hat and everything in her locker. Whatever. If she went back for them she would have to go around to the front doors and the front office would see her and she would get into trouble. Jules was already shivering so it didn’t even matter. She walked quickly around the side of the school to the parking lot, trying really hard to be angry. Anger was the easiest emotion for her to deal with. But instead she just felt like crying, which was super annoying but why wouldn’t Jasper tell her about this? The answer was obvious, but Jules still didn’t like it. Were Jasper and Ruby hooking up? Was Jasper going to dump her? Was he thinking about Ruby now?
Her eyes burned, which she blamed on the chilly breeze, and Jules pulled her keys out of her purse to unlock her car. She tossed her purse and bag onto the passenger seat before she climbed in and slammed the door shut. She started up the car, still feeling like she might vomit though her brain was going over everything in that video to try and convince her that she was overreacting. They hadn’t kissed in the video or anything. And Jasper hadn’t told Ruby he liked her back. But he hadn’t told her he didn’t either. He hadn’t mentioned Jules.
She sat in the car for a moment until it began to heat up, trying to decide what to do. Really, she wanted to march back into the school and find Ruby and tear her hair out of her head. She wanted to find Jasper and kick him in the nuts. Hard. Okay, at least there was some anger there. It helped her focus. Jules pulled out her phone and opened her texts again. Mister Anonymous still hadn’t responded to her question. So she wrote them another message; FUCK YOU FUCKER and hit send. Then she saved the video to her phone and attached it to a text to Jasper. Jules assumed he was in class, but so what. Might as well give him some time to come up with some believable story about what she saw. Jules texted about a half a dozen messages to accompany the video, deleting every single one. This wasn’t really a conversation to have over text messages. She finally just sent it without an accompanying caption. Then she set her phone on the console between her seats and debated driving home. Drive home, or wait until school let out and maybe try to run Ruby down on her stupid pink bike. The image in her head relaxed her a little and Jules settled back against her seat, wiping impatiently at her eyes. Boys sucked. Seriously.
Jasper was zoning out through a history lecture when his phone vibrated in his front hoodie pocket. After making sure the teacher wasn’t really looking at him, he slipped his hand in there and pulled the phone out enough to check the front screen. It was a text from Jules, some kind of attachment message. Curious, Jasper opened it up -- keeping the screen tilted away from the people around him, just in case -- to see that it was a video. For a split second excitement bloomed in his chest and in his jeans, that maybe Jules had sent him something naughty, but the blurred preview screen indicated otherwise.
He couldn’t make out what he was looking at, but he also couldn’t just hit play right there in class. It took Jasper a few minutes to find a good pause to raise his hand and ask to use the restroom, and another one or two to walk down the hall and slip into privacy. He made sure the volume was down and then watched what Jules had sent him, his brow furrowing more and more. It took him a few seconds to recognize what he was looking at -- it was his dad’s yard and porch, but from the other side of the fence. It was his and Ruby’s conversation from the Sunday before last, when she’d come over to confess her feelings ... fuck. Fuck.
His heart tripling its speed in his chest, Jasper hit the button to call Jules and put the phone to his ear. His mind was spinning with questions already -- how had she gotten that video, had she been spying on them? That didn’t make sense though, why would she not say anything for a week? So where did it come from? Who even lived over ... oh.
Her phone started to vibrate on the console beside her and Jules picked it up to see Jasper's name. She debated just letting it go to her voicemail to let him sweat for a little bit, but Jules didn't like how she was feeling at the moment and she didn't want to keep feeling this way, even for a petty reason. Had Jasper been any of her ex-boyfriends, she would have hung up on the call and been home already, ignoring them completely until they came around to beg her forgiveness. Funny what love could do to a person. Stupid too. She answered the call, glancing toward the school as if expecting to see him leaving it. He had obviously slipped out of class to call her. "I don't really want to have this conversation over the phone," Jules said, her voice catching on the last word despite her best efforts to sound dismissive and pissed off.
Jasper’s fear had morphed into rage while the phone rang in his ear. Not at Jules, but at the most likely source of this video -- that weird new bitch from next door, Elodie. They hadn’t hung out much or anything, but he’d given her a couple of rides to school when the weather was bad, shared cigarettes, that kind of thing. He’d thought they were cool. But she was fucking spying on him? Making recordings of his private fucking conversations? He hadn’t even been aware anybody else was outside, he’d been so focused on Ruby. What if he’d been talking to Amelia about her situation out there or something? And not only did Elodie record him, she sent it to his girlfriend? He was ready to spit fire by the time Jules finally answered, pacing in a tight circle in front of the sinks. Jasper wanted to find Elodie in whatever class she was in right now and punch her in the fucking face, but he had to run damage control first. To make sure Jules wasn’t too upset. He took a sharp breath at her words and flexed his jaw, trying to cool his temper down. “Where are you?” he asked, his voice low and full of gravel.
Jules wanted to spit back Nowhere!, but that was stupid and childish and obviously she knew he would ask her that because she was still sitting in her car in the parking lot. If she didn't want to talk to him, or see him, she would have driven off already. It was just a stubborn streak inside of her that refused to die and Jules couldn't help the desire to make things difficult on him because her feelings were hurt. "In the parking lot, in my car. I got that video and I didn't want to go to class," she explained, her own voice tight because her throat felt dry and full and she swallowed back the urge to cry... and scream. Some tiny voice in the back of her head told her she was overreacting, but was she really? Honestly she didn't know what she was most upset about. Ruby making a play for her boyfriend, or her boyfriend not shutting that shit down immediately or him just not even telling her about it. "I mean what the fuck!" Jules couldn't help the outburst in spite of her best efforts to keep her emotions at bay on the phone. Before he could answer her Jules released a shrill sound of frustration and hung up the phone, tossing it onto the seat beside her with her purse and bag. If he wanted to talk to her he could come and talk to her.
‘What the fuck’ was absolutely right, but not in the way Jules meant it. He hadn’t done anything wrong, but Jules was obviously pissed at him, and that just made him feel even more unbelievable rage at Elodie. He’d opened his mouth to say he’d be right out when Jules hung up on him. Jasper let out his own growl of emotion, his fist shooting up to slam against one of the stall doors. It was better than breaking his phone, at least. He tucked that away again and stalked out of the bathroom and headed for the closest exit. History class could go fuck itself. He slowed down just enough to get a cigarette between his lips and lit it -- his hands were shaking, so it was a bit of a challenge -- then jogged toward the parking lot. Jasper felt a tiny bit of relief when he spotted Jules’s car still sitting there, smoke coming out lazily out of the tailpipe, but it was short-lived, eaten up by the betrayed anger that was humming through every part of him. He walked around to the passenger side door and climbed inside, flicking his cigarette away before he shut it again.
As soon as she saw Jasper coming Jules grabbed her purse and bag and tossed them into the back seat so he would have room to sit. She had no idea how long she would let him stay in her car but she also didn’t want a teacher or someone looking outside to see Jasper standing there. Then they would both get into trouble. Jules didn’t say anything when he got inside and shut the door. Seeing him made her feel stupidly emotional again and Jules quickly looked out her window to blink away the burning behind her eyes. She swallowed hard to get herself together before she spoke again. She still had that horrible knot in her stomach, that gross, shaky feeling that something bad was going to happen. Like he was going to dump her, or admit he had feelings for Ruby and she would dump him. What the hell was even happening because she’d had a really good day up until that stupid text message. “When did that happen?” Jules asked him, feeling like she could actually talk again without losing her shit. Maybe it was a video from before they started hooking up. No, because Ruby had asked him not to tell Jules about it. Bitch.
Jasper used that short silence to try and wrestle his anger to a manageable level again. The invasion of privacy made him incredibly upset, but he knew that Jules wouldn’t care about that angle. Not yet. Maybe not ever. He’d barely remembered how the conversation had actually gone word-for-word until he watched it again, but Jasper was glad to see he hadn’t said anything too stupid at the time. He’d just been concerned for his friend. Whom Jules knew was his friend, and she couldn’t rightly blame him for Ruby’s feelings, right? His jaw was working with the effort of not raging against Elodie out loud and he took a deeper breath when Jules spoke. It was a simple question, thankfully, but the answer was probably going to get him in deeper shit. “The Sunday before last,” he told her, glancing over. “After the dance and the bonfire. I think she was still like, high or somethin’.”
A whole week ago. He hadn't told her, and it was obvious he had never planned to. The anger she felt over that was temporarily forgotten by Jasper's weak defense of Ruby. Rolling her eyes, Jules shook her head and looked out her window again. "She didn't sound high to me," she said, irritation evident in her tone now. "But what a convenient excuse to have." Feeling restless in the confined space of the car, Jules tugged the arms of her sweater down over her hands, gripping the thick material in her fingers as she placed them in her lap. Jules looked at Jasper again, wishing she knew how to control her emotions better than she did. She'd always had a problem with that, which was probably why most of her ex-boyfriends would tell people she was crazy. But she was trying, and that counted for something. "You weren't even going to tell me, like, ever, were you?"
God, Jasper wanted to kill Elodie. He and Jules had been in a good fucking place, things were going good, and she had to go and fuck that all up for no reason. “I don’t know,” he said, sounding irritated himself. Downright pissed, even if it wasn’t anger meant for Jules. “Maybe someday, when I knew you wouldn’t freak out about it. Because it was nothing, nothing happened. Ruby had the same weird word-vomit shit that we did -- we didn’t sound high either -- and then we figured it out and I made sure she got home okay, that was all. But I know how you feel about her, so ...” He trailed off and made a frustrated ‘see?’ sort of gesture between them, as if this conversation was evidence that Jules would’ve freaked out about it.
"All of our word vomit was the truth," Jules reminded him, trying to rein in the fury she felt at what Jules perceived as Jasper trying to defend Ruby. And on some level she understood why he would, because they were friends. But Jules was supposed to mean something too, and she didn't like that he would chose to keep something like this from her because Ruby asked him to. "I don't care if she was high on something, or drunk, or a victim of some stupid... well, something stupid. What she did wasn't okay. Don't say nothing happened when it did. I got to watch it on my phone." She was growing increasingly upset and Jules tugged more fiercely on the sleeves of her sweater. "You didn't even...you didn't even tell her no. You didn't tell her you didn't feel that way about her. You didn't even like, mention my name. It was just..." Jules huffed out a sound, hating herself for not being able to articulate her feelings better. Everything in her head was jumbled and confusing. "You should have told me. Whether I freaked out or not, at least I would've heard it from you. At least you would have been honest with me."
Her first point was something that Jasper had been trying to ignore. Ruby’s texts since that day had said it was okay, she didn’t know what came over her, she didn’t really feel that way, and Jasper had accepted that. He needed to accept that to keep being friends with her and to feel like things were any kind of normal. But the fact that he’d meant everything he’d said while he was under the influence too ... it had lingered in the back of his mind. He rubbed at his eyes, a headache brewing from all of this emotion. “She just caught me so fuckin’ off guard,” he muttered miserably. “And she looked so ... scared and upset about it. I didn’t wanna hurt her feelings, she’s my friend. But I was thinking about you the whole time, I swear.” His tone picked up more feeling and looked over at Jules, his expression pained. “I don’t want to be with Ruby. I want to be with you. I just didn’t want to cause more trouble between you two for something she like ... took back later and apologized to me for.” And it would have been fine, Jules never would have known anything even happened, if it hadn’t been for Elodie, goddammit.
Jules bit down into her tongue to keep from saying something harsh. I was thinking about you the whole time was something boys said when they got caught cheating. Not that Jasper had cheated on her. On a rational level, she knew Jasper was probably telling the truth. She knew it was probably irrational of her to be angry or upset about it and she should just let it go. But she felt how she felt, and it wasn't like she could flip a switch and forget about it. "What if one of my guy friends came to my house and told me he liked me," Jules said after a moment. "What if I didn't say no. What if I just said... oh well, it's not like I wouldn't go out with you... why didn't you say something sooner? What if I said all those things you said to Ruby, and you heard about it later. You'd seriously be okay with all of that? That I didn't tell him I was with you, and..." Jules's throat caught again and she stared out the front windshield at the car parked directly in front of her. "I'm just pissed off, okay?" She was more hurt than pissed off, but Jules didn’t know how to say that without crying or sounding like a whiny girlfriend. All of it sucked.
Jasper knew that he wouldn’t be okay with that, that it would probably bug him just like it was bugging Jules, he wasn’t immune to insecurity, but the stubborn argumentative side of him didn’t want to admit that. “I would be fine, because I know you and I trust you,” he said. A hard edge was creeping into his tone -- the longer this went on, the more pissed off he got about this gross invasion of privacy. “Sorry I didn’t react completely fucking perfectly to a situation that blindsided me from one of my oldest friends, Jules. Sorry I haven’t had to like, turn dozens of suitors down and I dunno how to do it. Sorry you heard some shit that was never meant for you to fucking hear, and I’m sorry I’m gonna go kill that fucking bitch Elodie!” His words had risen into a shout as his control slipped, and Jasper kicked the side of the console floorboard, all that angry energy having to go somewhere. He grabbed for the door handle and shoved his shoulder against the door to open it. He needed to get out of there, he needed space to calm down before he really did do something violent.
Jules's expression was one of extreme skepticism because she knew he wouldn't be okay with it, even if he did trust her. And she didn't like the implication that she didn't trust him. She wasn't the one who had kept things from him. But any counter-arguments she might have made were lost in Jasper's ranting and she stared at him, her own temper threatening to let loose. Was she asking him to be perfect? Was she wrong for expecting him to make sure Ruby knew how he felt instead of sparing her feelings? What about Jules's feelings? Her face was hot and her fingers were curled in toward her palm where her nails bit into her skin. But Jules jumped in surprise when he kicked the floorboard and moved to get out of her car, her own defensive ranting forgotten. Who the fuck was Elodie? It was instinctive to reach out for his arm. "Are you seriously going to leave right now?" Jules exclaimed, her tone bordering on a shriek despite her best efforts to stay calm. She was failing spectacularly now. "You're going to be a dick about this and leave?"
His arm tensed, but he managed not to jerk it out of her grip. Jasper put his ass back on the car seat, glaring hard out of the front windshield, his mouth tight. He really did need to leave, no matter what Jules wanted, because he was not in the right frame of mind to talk about her feelings. It wasn’t that he didn’t care, it was just that the anger was so much easier to feel than anything else, and it was overwhelming. It blotted out everything else, demanding his attention. That was his yard, where his sister sometimes was, and this bitch had dared to fucking record a private conversation. “Look, Jules,” he said tightly, doing his best to reel it all back and focus. He loved this girl, and he knew he was fucking up, but he was just so pissed, and self-control wasn’t something he’d ever really learned. “I dunno what you want me to say. I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t handle it like I should have. But there’s no threat there, at all, ever, I promise. I’m fucking obsessed with you, and that’s not changing. Okay?”
Jules didn't know what she wanted Jasper to say either. What she really wanted was for him to have told her about this earlier. Or maybe not to have found out about it at all. Because she didn't want to keep hearing Jasper saying It's not like I wouldn't go out with you in the back of her mind, or telling Ruby she was hot and cool, and sure, fine, he was a guy with a dick, and he probably noticed other girls. But still. It made her feel insecure, among other irrational emotions. And he sounded pissed and maybe not as sorry as she wanted him to be because he was pissed. And defensive. Ugh, god, he was just placating her now, because that's what boys did when she got upset with them. If he was really sorry he would have just said so instead of defending Ruby, and then getting snarky and kicking shit in her car. There was a part of her that felt like she ought to say all of that, fight with him and get it out of her system. But if she tried she knew with the way her chest felt tight that she would probably start crying and all that fire would peter out and leave her feeling stupid. So Jules looked away and swallowed hard before nodding. She loved him but god she just fucking hated boys sometimes. "Okay," she said hoarsely, placing both hands on the steering wheel now before she shot a brief look in his direction. "I just want to go home now, okay?"
Wasn’t that just like a woman, to keep him from leaving one second and then turn around and want him to leave in the next? Jules didn’t even seem to care where the video had come from, who was trying to fuck with them, nothing but her own issues with him and Ruby being friends, and it made him want to put a fist through her car window. She obviously didn’t believe what he’d said either. Jasper didn’t know how to fix that. Or how to fix what he’d done that day, which had obviously been exactly the Wrong thing for him to do. Navigating all of this was so fucking exhausting, all of the sudden. Being a good boyfriend, being a good friend to other people, or at least trying to. He was always fucking it up, wasn’t he? He could see how upset Jules was, but Jasper didn’t have the patience or self-control to calm down and try to smooth things over right then. He pushed the car door open again and pointed at her phone. “You block that number,” he snapped. “That bitch wants to fuck with my life for some fucking reason. I coulda been talking to my fucking sister about something risky and she -- ?!” He cut himself off with an aggravated growl and more launched than climbed his way out of the car.
Jules's eyes watered and she clutched the steering wheel until her knuckles turned white. She didn't care where the video came from and she didn't care why. At least not at that moment. She just cared that he kept something like that from her, that he didn't seem to understand why she was upset, that he was just pissed off that someone took that video in the first place. Was she supposed to be indignant on his behalf? Maybe a part of her was because he was this upset about it, but it didn't overshadow how she was feeling. Jules knew that made her selfish but she didn't even care. Some irritation surged through all of the other emotions and she watched him get out of her car. "Then maybe don't have risky conversations outside where anyone could hear them," she snapped back. She would honestly be shocked if she didn't scream the entire drive home. Boys could be so infuriating sometimes!
Of course Jules didn’t get it. She didn’t understand the chest-burning need to look after Amelia and protect her and make sure nothing else bad happened to her. He’d thought that the back yard was private and safe, just like part of the house, but he’d obviously been wrong. And if Elodie overheard something about Amelia’s situation, or heard her call Gavin ‘dad’ or something, there could be real trouble, instead of just this petty bullshit. He had to get to his sister and warn her. He had to protect her. Jasper didn’t even answer Jules’s parting shot at him, he just slammed her car door shut and stalked away. He wanted a smoke really badly, but his hands were shaking too bad to get one out. Jasper knew this fight was probably far from over, but he would just have to deal with Jules later.
As soon as the door slammed Jules's face crumpled and she didn't bother wiping away the tears. She waited for a moment, just in case he came back, but when she saw him walking away Jules shifted her car into reverse to back out of her spot. Fuck it. Her feelings were valid, even if he didn't like them. Maybe he only cared when they were fucking. Maybe he only said 'I love you' to keep her from being upset. Maybe she was just looking for more reasons to be upset and in a few hours she would calm down and get over it. Maybe not. All she knew was she would probably get in trouble for ditching last period, and she would get in trouble for ditching cheer practice and it wasn't like any of it was even worth it because she was still upset and Jasper was pissed off and everything was horrible. Jules drove out of the parking lot towards home, wiping her eyes so she could see clearly. Whatever. She was going to go home, turn off her phone and chill in the bath for the rest of the night. Everyone else could fuck off.