Long Live The Half-Blood Prince by demarafis Title: Long Live the Half-Blood Prince! Author:demarafis Pairing: Ron/Hermione, Harry/Ginny Rating: PG-13 Word Count: ~1,050 Warnings: None. Summary: Le Roi est mort, vive le Roi! A/N: Written for Revive Severus *sighs* 2012. Beta'd by the lovely sighing_selkie. Once again, I don't own the characters, nor is any profit being made from this story. I just play in Rowling's sandbox =)
Long Live the Half-Blood Prince!
There are many quirks to having a phoenix as a familiar.
One. Near-instant teleportation service. Two. Free supply of many rare potions ingredients. Three. Access to state-of-the-art healing powers. Four. An intelligent chess partner. Five. Many other benefits that do not pertain to this story.
And so it was that, on the day of the Battle of Hogwarts, Severus Snape was glad, very glad indeed, that Fawkes had stayed on with him after Albus Dumbledore's death. For without Fawkes, Severus Snape would have been a goner.
Dead.
Expired.
Subjected to the whims of jolly, impetuous, gay Gryffindors.
Instead, Fawkes appeared next to him right after the Gryffindor Brats ran off to their dooms. He neutralized Nagini's poison with his tears and healed Snape's wounds. He pieced back together Snape's fractured mind with his songs and soothed his heart. He persistently and insistently kept Snape from the Battle, supplying him with endless reasons as to why he could not make an appearance.
That last bit was most certainly Albus sodding Dumbledore's legacy..
So, it was a healthy, hale, and disillusioned Snape who exited the Shrieking Shack sometime later and entered the Forbidden Forest, searching for the Resurrection Stone.
* * *
It turned out that finding the Resurrection Stone was not all that difficult. A few tracking spells, magic signature detectors, and Point Me's later, the Stone was retrieved. Getting out of the forest wasn't hard either, seeing as Severus Snape was still the Headmaster of Hogwarts and the Headmaster was on friendly terms with the denizens of the Forest.
However, getting the Invisibility Cloak was far more of a challenge.
First, a normal Invisibility Cloak had to be purchased and modified to resemble that of the Potter Brat's. Then, he had to sneak, yes, sneak!, back into his castle and quietly exchange the goods. Followed by tailing the Brats for hours, adjusting the replacement Cloak so it held up to the illusion when in use.
There was another reason for following The Brats around - finding Potter alone and winning the Elder Wand from him.
* * *
The opportunity finally came after The Wolf and the Clumsy Half-Blood Black's funeral. The Potter Brat begged for some special time by himself for "mourning purposes".
In other words, he just wanted to sulk alone. Or maybe he desperately needed a wank. Who knew what the brains of Gryffindor teenagers are like? The important thing was, Harry Potter was by himself and nobody would be looking for him. For hours.
Excellent.
* * *
"Potter."
Wand out and sneering, Severus Snape stalked toward his prey.
"P- Professor Snape! You're alive! But you're dead!" Potter gestures wildly back toward "his" coffin. "But you're alive!"
"As eloquent as always, Mr. Potter."
Now that was a drawl that could have put Draco Malfoy to shame.
"But you are alive!" Potter repeated, dazed.
"Do you remember how to open a formal wizarding duel?"
"Yes? Why-"
"Show me."
Harry bowed and recites the words of the challenge.
That was disgustingly easy.
Snape bowed and accepted the challenge.
"What are you doing!?!!" Harry cried.
"Engaging you in a wizarding duel, obviously. Expelliarmus! Incarcerous!!"
The unfortunate Boy Who Lived cried out and toppled over onto the ground.
"Mr. Potter, your duelling skills are as abysmal as always. I'm surprised nobody else has bested you since you became the Master of the Elder Wand."
"You- But- What are you going to do now?"
"I'm going to marry Ms. Granger and have a brood of genius children."
"Really?" Potter asked, incredulous.
"No, you dolt! I'm going to live my life free from you Gryffindors and your meddlesome affairs. I will go wherever I want, live however I want, and do whatever I want!"
"But- The Wand- Why?"
"To take over the world, of course!" A low, menacing laugh followed that declaration.
"You can't do that!" Harry sputtered. "I just saved the world from a Dark Lord!! You can't-"
"I see your comprehension skills have not improved either. Goodbye, Mr. Potter. I hope we will never meet again. Fawkes!"
"What? Fawkes? How!? When-"
"Finite. Obliviate!"
A very confused Harry Potter was left sitting on the ground. His wand lay askew as he stared gormlessly at the slowly dissipating fireball, wondering exactly what the hell in the world just happened...
* * *
Several years later, whilst at the home of Hermione and Ron, someone shrieked...
"Oh my God. OH MY GOD!"
"Hermione, don't tell me you're reading The Practical Potioneer and mooning over that Pfrinz guy again," Ron said as he looked up from the Daily Prophet, rolling his eyes.
"Avsange Pfrinz just developed the cure for lycanthropy!!"
Ron huffed. "That does not change the fact that he's a complete and utter berk, and a self-styled Warrior Against Entropy arse to boot. At least now we can cure Fenrir's pack so they won't infect anyone ever again."
"Oh, Ron," Hermione said softly as she padded over to him. "I'm not interested in him. I have someone of my own already." And she embraced him.
"I love you too," Ron said as he tilted her chin up for a kiss.
"Mm... Harry, on the other hand, is a different matter. You should be worried about him. He has been chasing after Pfrinz every time he saw him."
"Oh, I'm not worried. I'll start worrying about Harry when he manages to catch Pfrinz. If he ever manages to catch Pfrinz, that is."
Then Hermione and Ron proceeded to have some Special Couple Time together.
As for Harry, he continued to chase after Mr. Pfrinz even after Ginny managed to convince him to marry her, even after his children were old enough to attend Hogwarts and graduate, even after his divorce from Ginny years later.
And Mr. Pfrinz? Well, he continued to produce medical miracles one after another, and lived a very respected, very wealthy, very solitary life. If anyone wondered why his youthful appearance never seemed to change, well, they just attributed it to one of his miracles.
Oh, I almost forgot. Mr. Pfrinz was also one of the most powerful wizards alive, complete with a Mastery in spell creation.
What was that? Did Harry Potter ever manage to catch Avsange Pfrinz? Well, that's another story for another time, m'dears. This story, however, is over.
For Severus Snape is dead. Long live the Half-Blood Prince!