A Mid-Winter Night's Dream by severa_snape Title: A Mid-SummerWinter Night’s Dream Author/ Artist:severa_snape Pairing: Pre Severus/Harry if you squint. Rating: PG for language Word Count/ Art: I have no idea what the heck to call this. Drabble, Art, and a bunch of paint and baking. Warnings: Purely Crack, torture? Disclaimer: Severus says that he will not be owned, so unfortunately these characters are not mine. In other words I have no money nor make any off this, so don’t sue me please. Summary: What angel wakes me from my flowery bed? A/N: Written for the Revival fest at severus_sighs. I have no idea what to say about this except I think I was on poor kids crack when this idea came about. That and I was sleep deprived from working with drama queen characters that just wouldn't work with me half the time. So, I apologize for all the disturbing images you’re about to witness. As usual, I’m giving all my thanks to the Grinchroozetter for her beta work. I lurve you, doll!
Out of all the damnable places on earth, ~Fa la la la la ,la la la la~ Albus just had to choose this location. ~Sing we joyous, all together~ Bright, ~Fa la la la la, la la la la~ Wet, ~Heedless of the wind~ Cold, ~and weather~ And… someone cease the infernal SINGING!!!!
FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LAAAAAAA!!!
Gumdrops! Someone is hurt! Keep away, you red-faced cretinous House elves! I’ve never seen an elf as big as you before… What? I am not an elf, you imbecile! Of course you are, we can sense your magic. I am not and never have been an elf! I am Severus Snape, Potions Master and full fledge wizard! Shiny and sparkles, we are Jingle! Jollybells! Krinkle! Giggledimples! Tingle! And… Bob. Christmas Elves! This is far worse than taking my chances of facing the Dark Lord once again in my state. Come with us. We’ll fix you faster than you can say Gingerbread holly muffins!
Where are your taking me?! I demand that you unhand me this instant!
Put me down you Dunderheads before I hex you all to oblivion!
Hold still. What? Give that back! Owwww! Cease your prodding with all your stubby fingers! There you go. Good as new.
Here. You must be cold from lying out in the snow for so long. Don’t you dare put that monstrosity on me! Now you look more like an elf. Take it off!
Oh dear. He doesn’t sound all too happy for an elf. ~I am not an elf, I’m a wizard…~ Well, his neck was injured. ~ as soon as I find my wand…~ I know! All he needs is a bit of cheer and Christmas spirit and he will turn that frown upside-down. ~ I will turn them all into newts and use them as po…cheer…Christmas Spirit?!~
Gather the cookies! ~I must find my wand~ Pick the Candy Canes! ~I hate Sugary Sweets!~ Bring your voices, smiles, and laughter! ~All the Noise! Stop that wretched noise!~ Don’t Forget the Tinsel! ~Leave me be!~
No. ~Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells~ No! ~Jingle all the way~ Nononononono, not the Tinsel! Anything, but the Tinsel! ~Oh what fun, it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh!~
Ah! It was only a nightmare…
Pro—Professor? You’re Awake! I can’t believe you’re really awake!
Potter! What are you blabbering about? Of course I’m awake. Now where the bloody hell am I?
You’ve been in a coma for about a year now, professor. We found you on the floor of the Shrieking Shack after the final battle. We… We all thought you were left for dead, but we found the anti-venom in your coat pocket just in time. You are in a hidden room of the infirmary for your safety. Though the anti-venom kept you alive, you never awoke and Poppy claimed you never would. That is… until I made my Christmas wish.
A YEAR?!? Christmas Wish??!!!? I need to see… Where is my coat?
But Sir, you should be rest-
Now Potter!
Ok, ok it should be on the nightstand over there… odd. There wasn’t a note on it before.
Let me see that. Oh dear Merlin and his creator, no! Uhhhhhhh… Where did that sweater come from? No! It can’t… it just Can’t be!