Tweak

InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "squiffy"

Death (justdeath) wrote in seasidecafe,
@ 2009-03-26 17:54:00

Entry tags:

Death: Invisibility
Death leans back in his chair. “BEING INVISIBLE IS PART OF MY JOB,” he says casually. “PEOPLE DON’T LIKE TO SEE ME WHEN I’M OUT ON THE DUTY, OR AT ANY OTHER TIME REALLY.” He shrugs. “HUMANS HAVE A REMARKABLE CAPACITY FOR DENIAL. ONLY PROFESSIONAL MAGIC USERS, THOSE WHO ARE IN IMMEDIATE NEED OF MY SERVICES, OR THE ALREADY DECEASED ARE ABLE TO SEE ME.” He snaps his fingers. It sounds like two pool balls hitting each other. “AND CATS, OF COURSE.” He grins around the café. “WHICH CATEGORY DO YOU ALL FALL INTO I WONDER?”

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numbersix
2009-03-27 05:10 pm UTC (link)

"I suppose a lot of us are experiencing unusual effects from being here." She shakes her head. "I'm not offended. I'm patterned after humans, after all, so naturally I'm human-like. I'm not sure I understand what you mean by being an anthropomorphic personification. A personification of what?"

Gaius, puffing on a cigarello, blows out a(n invisible) stream of smoke and regards Death curiously, like he's trying to place if he's seen the skeleton before.

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justdeath
2009-03-27 07:05 pm UTC (link)

"IT TAKES SOME GETTING USED TO," Death admits. "PATTERNED?" he asks. "LIKE A DRESS?" Death has very little real experience with people. "I WASN'T AWARE THAT WAS POSSIBLE. BUT I AM NOT SURPRISED." He looks thoughtful. "A PERSONIFICATION OF DEATH," he explains. "FOR SOME REASON PEOPLE FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE IF THEY CAN PUT A FACE TO IT."

Death stares at Gaius unblinking. One of the blue lights in his sockets flicks out briefly; his equivalent of a wink.

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numbersix
2009-03-27 07:47 pm UTC (link)

"I think dress isn't quite the best analogy. It's more than external appearances, down to biological functioning." She considers, looking him up and down. "I don't mean any offense, but I'm not sure that's the most comforting appearance you could take. I suppose it's more representative of death, though, than something comforting like a warm blanket."

The dimmed light makes her curious and she tracks Death's line of sight, eyes widening when she realizes Death appears to be seeing Gaius as well. She looks between them and Gaius takes a longer pull on the cigarello. "If it's an anthropomorphic representation of death," he says, "and I'm an 'angel of God', then it shouldn't surprise you that we can see each other, darling."

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justdeath
2009-03-28 05:39 pm UTC (link)

"I'M AFRAID I HAVE VERY LITTLE EXPERIENCE WITH BIOLOGY," Death tells her. "IT'S ALL A BIT MOOT BY THE TIME I GET INVOLVED. THERE WAS A TIME," he goes on, "WHEN I MADE AN EFFORT TO APPEAR IN WHATEVER FORM THE CLIENT EXPECTED. BLACK DRAGONS, SCARAB BEETLES AND SO ON." Death sighs. "BUT IT DIDN'T WORK OUT. AND SINCE NO ONE REALLY EXPECTS TO DIE ANYWAY, I DECIDED TO JUST PLEASE MYSELF AND STICK WITH THE BLACK-ROBED COWL." He scowls. "I HARDLY THINK PEOPLE WOULD TAKE ME SERIOUSLY IF I SHOWED UP LOOKING LIKE SOMEONES BINKIT," he says frostily. He waves a bony hand at Gaius. "I DON'T SEE YOUR FRIEND LOOKING LIKE A FLUFFY TEDDY BEAR." He sounds quite grumpy. No one appreciates the personal touch anymore.

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numbersix
2009-03-28 07:05 pm UTC (link)

"Ahhh. My people became experts in it, but I suppose it's moot for you, yes, because then it becomes a matter of metaphysics. You can only ever really please yourself." She smiles briefly. "Not a binkit, then."

Gaius waves back and offers a box of cigarellos as he answers. "I'd make a terrible teddy bear."

"And he looks like someone I— love. Whatever his underlying nature, that's how he looks and behaves, like Gaius."

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justdeath
2009-03-29 06:34 am UTC (link)

"EVERYONE NEEDS A HOBBY," Death says magnanimously. "HAVE YOU EVER FISHED?" His eye sockets flare brightly blue for an instant. "NO BINKIT," he says with a finality only he can muster.

"THANK YOU." Death takes a cigarillo and it flares alight. He puffs thoughtfully and smoke curls out from various openings. "MOST PEOPLE WOULD. I QUITE FAIL TO SEE THEIR APPEAL."

"WELL OF COURSE. PEOPLE'S FUNDAMENTAL NATURES DON'T CHANGE JUST BECAUSE THEY'RE DEAD." Death leans back in his chair and blows a very ostentatious smoke ring.

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numbersix
2009-03-29 10:59 am UTC (link)

"I've never fished, no. Do you?" It's quite a weight to put into a statement like 'NO BINKIT,' and she's at a loss for how to respond to such a profound yet silly-sounding... thing.

Gaius nods slightly and blows some smoke towards the smoke Death blew and starts talking like Caprica isn't sitting right there. "I'm not a dead Gaius Baltar. Perhaps there's something essentially like him in the universe and he's emerged as a poor imitation of me. Or perhaps I'm the mimic and I borrowed his form because she's responsive to it. If I looked like you, she probably wouldn't listen."

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	justdeath 2009-03-29 05:35 pm UTC (link)
	"ONCE. I'D HEARD IT WAS FUN. I MADE MY OWN FLY." Death says 'fun' the way some people say a foreign word they aren't quite sure how to pronounce. "NOTHING FUZZY EITHER," he warns her. "OR PINK." Death leans forward, interested. "BUT SHE DOES LISTEN. AND DOES SHE HEED WHAT YOU SAY?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

numbersix
2009-03-29 06:34 pm UTC (link)

"And was it?" She smiles a bit more. "I don't really like fuzzy or pink, so I think we'll be fine on that count."

Gaius considers a moment before answering. "She listens, but always heeds right away, no. Free will. You try to convince them of something and they can take awhile to come around. Hesitation, for instance. Once they've seen you're right, though, they ease into it."

Caprica frowns over at Gaius. "What do you mean, 'they'?"

"Do you think Death here only ever visits one person and that's that?"

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justdeath
2009-03-29 07:07 pm UTC (link)

"NOT THAT I WAS ABLE TO DETERMINE," Death sounds disappointed. "SOME OF THE THINGS HUMANS, EXCUSE ME, HUMANOIDS, GET UP TO TO PASS THE TIME BAFFLE ME COMPLETELY. CARDS FOR INSTANCE." He nods solemnly. "THEN WE'LL GET ALONG SWIMMINGLY."

Death tsks. "THEY'RE A BIT PAST THE ADVICE STAGE BY THE TIME I GET INVOLVED." Death rubs his chin. It makes an unsettling squeaking noise. "AND NO RESENTMENT FOR BEING RIGHT? REMARKABLE. I GET A LOT OF DISBELIEF MYSELF. IT GETS TIRESOME." He sighs.

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numbersix
2009-03-29 08:43 pm UTC (link)

"Perhaps it just isn't your thing." She waves a hand dismissively, not insulted. "What sort of cards? Playing cards, greeting cards?"

"True. If they'd listened to some advice before, they might not be seeing you. If they're going on to another life, though, would any advice stick?" The noise doesn't seem to bother Gaius, but Caprica cringes, indeed unsettled. "Sometimes belief and 'how could you know that?', but not resentment. I think it helps that she already had faith in the beyond before she saw me. The one that Gaius sees looks like her and he'd seen her die. He was a man of science, no faith whatsoever, so he thought he was going crazy or it was some kind of implanted hallucination. It depends on who you're dealing with and how you present yourself. A mortal predisposition towards resenting death, perhaps?"

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justdeath
2009-03-30 06:48 am UTC (link)

"MOST DEFINITELY NOT!" Death says with an affronted sniff. "PLAYING CARDS. SOMEONE TRIED TO TEACH ME A RIDICULOUSLY COMPLICATED GAME. IT WAS CALLED WEIR. OR DAM." He shrugs.

"WELL, EVERYONE SEES ME EVENTUALLY," Death says. "NO HELP FOR THAT. AND I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THE AFTERLIFE. I JUST DO THE DELIVERIES. AFTER THAT, IT'S OUT OF MY HANDS." He puffs his cigarillo. "RESENTMENT, ANGER, DISBELIEF, REGRET," Death says. "IT'S NOT AS IF THEY DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN. AND THEY ALWAYS WANT JUST A BIT MORE TIME. YOU WOULDN'T CREDIT SOME OF THE EXCUSES I'VE HEARD."

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numbersix
2009-03-30 12:00 pm UTC (link)

"I'm not familiar with those, but the card games I knew before coming here aren't found here. And the cards look different, too."

"Might not be seeing you yet," he amends. "They don't appreciate that someone's showing them the way instead of being left to scramble and search for it? Does anyone ever show some measure of acceptance?"

"What are some of the excuses?"

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justdeath
2009-03-30 06:51 pm UTC (link)

"THERE ARE BOOKS ABOUT THIS GAME IF YOU CAN BELIEVE THAT, IT'S SO COMPLICATED. AND THEN THERE'S CHESS." Death rolls his eyes. Well, sort of. "I CAN NEVER REMEMBER WHICH WAY THE KNIGHT MOVES."

"THERE ARE SOME WHO SEEM TO HAVE PUT IT OFF," he concedes. "BUT I'VE GOT TIME." Death's eyes widen. "SHOW HUMANITY THE WAY AND THEY'LL DELIBERATELY THUMB THEIR NOSES AT YOU AND GO ROUND THE LONG WAY JUST TO SPITE YOU," he says bitterly. "SOME PRIESTS AND HOLY MEN," he says. "AND THE DOWNTRODDEN, WRETCHED AND POOR."

"OH," Death waves a hand. "I JUST NEED ANOTHER WEEK TO DISCOVER A CURE FOR SOME DISEASE. I NEED TO SAY GOODBYE TO AUNTIE MAUD. I'M NOT FINISHED YET. YOU MUST HAVE MISTAKEN ME FOR MY TWIN BROTHER. HONESTLY, THEY MUST THINK I WAS BORN YESTERDAY."

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	numbersix 2009-03-30 08:26 pm UTC (link)
	"It doesn't sound like it'd be much of a game if you need books first to play it. Games should be simple and fun." "That holds true for so many situations, doesn't it? Humanity, and human-like life, making such complications for themselves when you'd set it right out for them." "Do any stand out as the worst?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	justdeath 2009-03-31 07:13 am UTC (link)
	"YES," Death agrees heartily. "LIKE SNAKES AND LADDERS. OR NAUGHTS AND CROSSES." "THEY GET BORED." His tone is disbelieving. "NO OTHER LIFE FORM DOES YOU KNOW." Death considers a moment. "THERE WAS ONE THAT WAS AMAZING FOR IT'S SHEER CHEEK," he says quietly. "A HERO." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	numbersix 2009-03-31 04:56 pm UTC (link)
	"I don't think I know those. I should learn more games here. I'm surprised they don't have some kind of social game night here." "Ahh, so the complications are an attempt at staving off boredom with busy bustling. Are you sure that cats don't get bored?" "Did the hero think they still had to save the world? Defeat Death?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

justdeath
2009-03-31 10:32 pm UTC (link)

"THEN PLEASE, ALLOW ME TO TEACH YOU." Death snaps his fingers:

snakes and ladders

"PERHAPS WHEN THEY SEE US PLAYING, OTHERS WILL GET THE IDEA."

"SOMETHING LIKE THAT," Death replies. "THOUGH I CAN'T EXPLAIN WELSH TELEVISION." He looks thoughtful. "THAT'S INDIFFERENCE, NOT BOREDOM."

"OH YES." Death sounds bitter. "HE'D BESTED ALL HIS OTHER ENEMIES, SO HE TRIED TO DEFEAT ME. THE ULTIMATE ADVERSARY."

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numbersix
2009-03-31 11:36 pm UTC (link)

She looks at the board, slightly bewildered at the appearance-- both the sudden appearing of it, and the visual look of it. "It... does have ladders and snakes on it."

"Nobody can explain Welsh television. It's one of those universal mysteries. Somehow reiterations of it keep appearing in cultures that don't even have Welsh." He smokes as he considers, but then nods in agreement with the cat assessment.

"Did it go badly? For him?"

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justdeath
2009-04-02 06:31 am UTC (link)

"INDEED IT DOES," Death says, grinning as usual. "THE SNAKES ARE BAD, THE LADDERS GOOD. FOR THE PURPOSES OF THE GAME ANYWAY," he adds.

"I MEAN, IF THEY'RE TRYING TO STAVE OFF BOREDOM, WHY INVENT SOMETHING THAT EPITOMISES IT." Death shakes his head. "AND THEN WATCH IT?! DO YOU KEEP CATS?"

Death sighs. "IT DID," he says flatly. "IN THAT HE DID NOT DEFEAT ME. I MADE A CONTEST OF IT. WE BATTLED FOR OVER A CENTURY." He breaks off and stares into the distance.

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	numbersix 2009-04-05 10:04 pm UTC (link)
	"I suppose there's some sort of association playing out there... And what are they in the game?" "Do the Welsh even like Welsh television? No, I don't keep cats. You can't really keep anything corporeal when you're generally lacking in corporeality." "Oh dear. Was that... long for you, or like nothing?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

justdeath
2009-04-06 07:10 pm UTC (link)

"NO DOUBT," Death says. People have clubs for everything. "WELL," he explains, "YOU MOVE AROUND THE BOARD AND IF YOU LAND ON A LADDER YOU GET TO GO UP. IF YOU LAND ON A SNAKE, YOU GO BACK DOWN. THE FIRST PERSON TO THE END OF THE BOARD WINS."

Death shrugs elegantly. "PROBABLY. IT'S NOT AS IF THEY HAVE A GREAT DEAL ELSE TO DO." He nods. "INTERESTING. I CAN'T KEEP THEM OUT OF THE HOUSE. I SEEM TO ATTRACT THEM."

"TIME HAS NO REAL MEANING FOR ME," Death tells her, brooding. "HE WAS A GOOD OPPONENT, I'LL GIVE HIM THAT. BUT THE OUTCOME WAS NEVER IN DOUBT."

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numbersix
2009-04-14 01:44 am UTC (link)

"You can go either way on a ladder, though... or is the purpose to go up, then, so you wouldn't want to use the ladder for that? Why a snake? I would think a slide would work better. How... odd."

"Welsh things, perhaps? Welshing? Sheep herding? You look like you'd attract more dogs."

Gaius nods some with the time remark, understanding of it, while Caprica can't relate herself to it. "Was it just a depressing experience for you, then?"

Whooooa sorry! Thought I replied to this a week ago! Must've done a "check e-mail, mental note to reply after brush teeth/clothes/etc. and compose in head, forget to compose on computer after head composed."

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justdeath
2009-04-14 06:05 pm UTC (link)

"NO," Death shakes his head. "IN THIS GAME, LADDERS ONLY GO UP. THE OBJECT IS TO GET TO THE END FIRST, SO THE LESS SPACES YOU HAVE TO MOVE THROUGH THE BETTER OFF YOU ARE." He shrugs. "I UNDERSTAND SLIDES ARE USED. IT DEPENDS ON WHERE YOU ARE. SNAKES ALSO HAVE A REPUTATION FOR BEING DANGEROUS. MOST PASTIMES ARE."

"I GATHER IT'S BETTER THAN COAL MINING," Death observes. He stiffens (so to speak) ever so slightly. GREAT BIG HAIRY SLOBBERY THINGS DOGS. DOING THINGS IN THEIR HUGE JOLLY WAY." He sniffs. "NO THANK YOU."

"I SUPPOSE," Death pokes at the table. "THEY'RE ALWAYS SO FRIGHTFULLY EAGER. AND DETERMINED. THEY'D BE BETTER OFF GETTING THEIR AFFAIRS IN ORDER."

ACK! The old head-computer-conspiring-against-you-theory shows up again! ;) Don't worry about it. Death has all the time in the world.

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numbersix
2009-04-20 04:01 pm UTC (link)

"I suppose these games are, after all, meant to be fun rather than logical. Is there a risk of snake bite or constriction?"

Caprica definitely stiffens some (in a less bony way) and grimaces at the mention of coal mining, so Gaius helpfully explains, "Her mechanical ancestors were used as mining slaves. Touchy subject. No tiny yappy dogs with no sense of their own size, then?"

"You haven't had much pleasant company, then, I'd take it?"

Guess who has a sinus infection?! Yes, cruel head computer, which is located close to the swollen sinuses!

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justdeath
2009-04-21 07:16 am UTC (link)

"I BELIEVE THAT IS THEIR INTENT, YES." His eye sockets flare briefly. "NOT IN THE GAME," he assures her. "I MAKE NO GUARANTEES FOR ANYTHING ELSE."

"OH?" Death inclines his head. "I BEG YOUR PARDON. I INTENDED NO OFFENSE." He turns to Gaius. "TINY THINGS WITH Y'S AND Z'S IN THEIR NAMES THAT CAN GO UP EMPERORS SLEEVES? NO." It is a very final no.

"I GET THE OCCASIONAL WITCH OR WIZARD WHO IS AT LEAST EXPECTING ME. AND THE REINCARNATION CHAPPIES AT LEAST HAVE DONE IT BEFORE. BUT I VERY RARELY HAVE PEOPLE DROPPING IN FOR A CUP OF TEA AND A CHAT."

Oh noes! I'm so sorry. *offers tissues* I hope you feel better soon.

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