Yeah, regardless of how many retcons are dedicated to fixing the problem, there's probably nothing that will ever really make the idea of Bruce taking it upon himself to "fire" Dick from an identity he created in the first place reasonable to me.
But of the post-Crisis versions, I've always preferred the one with the bullet, for some reason. To me it seemed less a bad reaction to a new situation (ie: Robin being seriously injured), and more Bruce finally and definitively failing to deal with the reality that the people he loves are mortal, that Robin can and will be lost, and that in fact, the closer he is to Dick the more likely he is to meet a brutal and horrifying end on his watch.
Still ridiculous, dysfunctional, and hypocritical, mind you; but I prefer my Bruce misguidedly altruistic rather than petty and possessive.