Second of all, y halo thar condescending paternalistic don't-worry-your-pretty-little-head patronizing--Steph has too much self-respect to listen to the kind of crap men (and Babs) in her life keep throwing at her.
I know a lot of people feel this way, but for me, this isn't paternalistic "don't worry your pretty head" patronizing. It's straight talk about her abilities and the danger of having certain problems that they've played out in storylines where we see these problems in action. Flunking out of a training program because your instructor didn't think you were good enough--however much potential he saw in you that made him begin the training--doesn't mean your instructor's being patronizing. Especially when it's supposed to be in a job that's dangerous for yourself and others.
"Let me see...passable, passable, passable...what's this? You've done these integration problems wrong! You'll never be a mathematician! Go home, little girl!"
To me it reads more like: "Let me see...her martial arts are coming along. She's athletically capable. She can swing from building to building. Let's see how her temperment is in real stress situations. Oh. She's panicky. She doesn't take in the big picture. She isn't good at seeing the effects of her actions or dealing with them well when they get out of control. She doesn't take correction in those areas the way she takes correction in others. An unreliable soldier. And she's not getting any better. No, she totally doesn't have the psychological make-up I need for this job at all." (No "little girl" even implied.)
Iow, I assume the criteria Batman is working on is very tough, but also practical and basically fair. The most successful people in his training program were unusually suited to it. The times I think he's been unfair to Steph it's when he gives her mixed messages to suit his own ends, but not when he says no.