A... fairly sensible advice column. The guy who's getting married behind your back is maybe not someone you want to date. And girls don't need to look like movie stars, as long as they're friendly and not slobs. Both fairly reasonable.
My entire knowledge of romance comics is shaken!
*reads comic again*... Oh, right. Supporting your wife's career will lead to her becoming cold and distant, and other women will promptly get you drunk and try and take advantage of you. All right. All is back to normal.
Though now I'm wondering what Contract Beardington's Romance Advice colum would look like.