I must say, I like this. I was a bit critical of the pages you were thinking of submitting to Marvel earlier, but here it's just the opposite. I like how the storytelling is handled, the expressiveness and suitability of each character's look, even though they're not strictly realistic. I believe your style suits this sort of storytelling much more than superhero work, to be perfectly honest, where expressiveness and attention to detail take priority over sharp realism and broad action.
There's so much nice character detail going on here, in how the bald fellow acts, and the body language of the artist. Keep it up, you've got some real strengths here.