Tony Stark has a conscience. It doesn't matter who stole his plans and what-not. What matters is he should have had the information under a better lock and key so even Kitty Pryde couldn't get them.
Of course, Tony is also an optimist. The current Iron Man writers explain that's why Tony hasn't thrown himself into an active volcano to stop Norman Osborn from getting all the Initiative info (including the secret IDs of many heroes, but probably not Spider-Man) out of Tony's head. He really thinks there is a way out of this, even if he doesn't know what it is yet.