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[16 Sep 2014|11:48am]

Anyone ever reach levels of depression where you consider ragequitting more than half your characters? Like I'm sure it's just life sucking at the moment but it's making me doubt anything I write is any good at all.
6 comments|post comment

[16 Sep 2014|08:55am]
It feels like the lines that I want to play are lines that no one else likes. And they're not even niche!

Potential RP Route #1: Adorable and exciting romance, eventual marriage, hipster-named baby.
Potential RP Route #2: BFFs for life doing their BFF thing, with or without falling for each other, but who knows?

etc, etc, etc. Even just "lines?" is ignored, but works with others.

Maybe the younger set of players can just tell that I'm old and lame. No one wants to play with you, Old Lamer.
16 comments|post comment

[16 Sep 2014|07:39am]
Knowing someone has flat out lied to you but being unable to say anything about it because you aren't supposed to know about the thing they lied about.
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[16 Sep 2014|11:46am]

I just want to write. I don't like aim for scenes much and would like to get back to threading. It seems I don't get many bites if I'm only comfortable playing the female role. Most of the time I'm waiting on my one trusted writing partner to come online.
3 comments|post comment

[15 Sep 2014|01:36pm]

That depressing moment when you realize the fun in rp no longer outweighs the utter disappointment and frustration. Maybe it's just time to retire.
1 comment|post comment

[15 Sep 2014|02:21am]
That awkward embarrassment when you write smut with someone you can tell is 100% more experienced than you are. I hope it doesn't show :[
2 comments|post comment

[14 Sep 2014|10:10pm]

First off I apologize for this being longer than I intended--I just started writing and it turned into this whole thing:

There are way too many hypocrites on this server which make me question my own presence on insanejournal, yet one thing keeps me here. I've been lucky enough to associate with some of the best people and friends I could ever find. They don't throw a hissy fit when things don't go their way, and they take the time to listen to what you have to say. There will always be a few bad eggs and it's amusing to see that some routines never die despite the fact that they claim to change. Give a person enough chances and they might be able to prove you wrong eventually, but at some point you just have to say no.

I'm an avid believer in change and I personally don't like what this server does to people. When did roleplay stop being about having fun? When did people start to feel venting out their problems anonymously was a good thing? I admit I'm a bit of a hypocrite for posting this on this journal but I really wonder sometimes if there's anyone out there who feels the same way. I read what's here and I can't help but question whether or not this is a good thing to have. It helps to connect with people and I agree with that, but doesn't this only foster the negative aspects of what we all want to avoid on insanejournal? Duplicity on this server is astounding, just confront the people you have a problem with instead of hiding away in the shadows. The last thing I want to have to do is wonder every time I accept an app or agree to rp something if it's someone I know who will cause a problem.

Roleplay for me is about a lack of stress and it shouldn't add to the problems of every day life. I'm a writer at heart and I love to create something from my imagination. Unfortunately the last two months I haven't felt that familiar spark with the communities I run or the people I associate with because all the negativity shadows the very best efforts of those who matter and that's a real shame. I'm sure many of you have wondered what's the point of putting in all this effort just to have it ripped from your very fingers--I know I have. It's not fun and it's quite childish, especially when you're willing to make a go of it and have done all the leg work--psl or gpsl.

People can say what they want about me and they can twist the story however they want to twist it. I value honesty, friendship, and mutual respect--it's really that simple. Despite everything, I won't stop trying. I will continue to meet like minded people, and I will give everyone a chance no matter what walk of life they choose. I know what I'm worth, and if certain people can't see it than it's their loss. I don't think I'm better than people, but I do know where my line is drawn.

I'm done listening to and believing people who put other's down. I'll make up my own mind about them and give them a chance. Everyone has their own view point and take on a situation, but sometimes you have to ask yourself--is it me whose the problem or you? Especially when you take into consideration that a majority of your partnerships end the same way--you huffing off in a big to-do because your insecurities drive you to overreact and cut them off because you don't like what your interpretation of the situation is telling you or they leave you because you push them to the brink of frustration. My actions are my own and I take responsibility for them, but when it comes down to it, if you're the only one who has a problem with me and no one else thinks what you think, don't you start to question your beliefs?

I'm glad I have people who know me well enough to know the difference and I'm glad I have my significant other to keep me grounded. They are the best people I know on this server, and I look forever to growing my connections and meeting others who want the same things.
13 comments|post comment

[14 Sep 2014|09:49pm]

I really hate when you find your home somewhere and you really like it then that place suddenly closes. You move somewhere else but this new comm is so slow and it'll never live up to where you were before.
5 comments|post comment

[14 Sep 2014|03:35pm]

Ever have that irrational feeling where you dislike a certain PB, because you associate it with a really annoying player and a really annoying character and just want to punch the celebrity in the face?

Keyword: irrational. Punching might be a strong word. But still.
6 comments|post comment

[14 Sep 2014|11:50am]

I make up characters, but I feel like I can't actually write them. I hear the voice when I'm writing the bio, but then it fades after the fact.
Mess. :(
3 comments|post comment

[14 Sep 2014|12:26am]

With all of the stress that comes with RP lately, I just wonder why I can't just quit and be done with it all. Anyone else have those moments?
6 comments|post comment

[13 Sep 2014|10:55pm]
You are so drama filled! Now I see why your posts go uncommented. Its people like you that make me want to leave the community.
8 comments|post comment

[13 Sep 2014|05:45pm]

I know it's an adult comm where anything goes, but this is like your fourth character where they're into taking advantage of girls and nothing but non-con scenes. I don't know why this makes me uncomfortable, but it does. You stay away from my characters, mister.
22 comments|post comment

[13 Sep 2014|02:04pm]

Why is it always you. Why? I don't want to write with you. I don't want to write abuse as BDSM. I don't want to write against your dishrags of subs or your abusers of doms. I am sure that's why you have so many journals, so you can get lines even against those who would never write with you again given the choice, but I hate when I get caught by you. It makes me never want to ask for celeb femme lines again. Now you're venturing into PB, which at least used to be safe to look for. Some days I really do want to give up on this server.
1 comment|post comment

[12 Sep 2014|10:35pm]

You're commenting on a single-character journal, and you're asking who I play? If I weren't already never, ever writing again with you, I certainly wouldn't be eager to do it when it seems like you have no idea what you are even talking about/who you are asking to write against.
5 comments|post comment

[12 Sep 2014|11:59am]

My kingdom for original worlds, and players who are dedicated to said worlds. Sick of the idea that chasing after people is almost always required.

Kind of related to the above: having the feeling that other players will only take interest in a plot... if there's a coffee shop and/or the internet is involved. And popular PBs. PBs > everything else, looks like.

Goodbye, SL #?! I should bury this concept, but I can't. Looks like it'll stay on the shelf indefinitely, tempting me. Sad panda.

When you badly want to write XYZ, but you can only play XYZ for short periods at a time. What the fuck?
4 comments|post comment

[11 Sep 2014|09:05pm]

I'm glad you've found someone to fill the line for you, my RL got so crazy I had to leave the comm and I know I couldn't've come back.

But I'm still a little sad our characters'll never get their own happily ever after.
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[11 Sep 2014|06:33am]
such a bummer you were so adamant about alienating my character and making my time there miserable, thus forcing me out of the community. well, you win, i'm done
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[09 Sep 2014|11:52am]

NO comments to that obvious entry? Wow rp really is a dying art. Private lines are all talk and no action and communities are a joke. Way to make someone feel welcome. I don't know why I bother anymore. Why write with and for no one? Why even go through the trouble of making customs that won't be used? Ugh this was probably the worst snub ever. Sorry I refuse to cave and do the gif and paragraph everyone in this place seems so fond of. You seriously shouldn't need a question or something shiny to make you interact. I comment everything. Fail all around.
22 comments|post comment

[09 Sep 2014|01:32am]

It would be really nice if all my slp didn't stop tagging at once for the last week. Some longer than that. I really hate rp sometimes.
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