Evie S: Narrative Who: Evie S. When: The night/early ass morning before she goes to get Daisy Where: Living room at Casa de Graham and Shane What: Oh just a moment of silence Warnings: Some depressing miscommunications?
Evie was wide awake, wide awake like there was some woman out there thisclose to being exactly the mom Daisy needed while Daisy was forgetting all about her in the same way she had undoubtedly forgotten all about her father by now. And for the first time Evie wished she could do the same. Every time she closed her eyes she just saw him, first just mean, then angry, then vicious and harmful. So she solved that by avoiding closing her eyes as much as possible. She had to wait to sleep until her brain could shut off completely. She had to wait to sleep until her body just refused to move. But she always had alarms at the ready, she didn't want to sleep too long.
She was a houseguest. She was a houseguest borrowing clothes, a couch, eating their food, using some blankets, imposing herself, her puppy, maybe her child if they'd have them. She wasn't contributing a thing, and she wasn't going to sleep constantly. Shane had been the only person she knew who had said anything to her - and apparently Luke was much better than anyone thought. And he had barely even asked after her. Wren was fine and taking naps. She hadn't even checked in. Jack didn't sound okay, and he sounded more worried about Evie than Luke or Wren did.
It made her feel selfish, wanting people to look after her. She wanted to be independent, she wanted to be at home right now with her daughter living a happy and content life with the slightest touch of normalcy. It didn't have to be perfect. Daisy was entering her terrible twos. Evie wasn't going to find some high paying perfect job and move them into the huge mansions and penthouses she'd spent her life in. But that was okay. They could spend their lives in that tiny apartment. But she wanted them happy.
And yet here she was, jagged stitches drawn up calf, bruises covered her body and her face, clothes that were way too big rolled at the waist and hanging on her shoulders, and her baby was far away. She paced in the living room trying not to have the floor creak under her socked feet. It was late, she assumed everyone was asleep. She didn't want to wake Graham's baby. Or anyone else. But especially no someone else's baby She contemplated laying back down on the couch. But she couldn't sit still.
Her leg throbbed, but she ignored it, she only had a few pain killers left, she'd been taking them like crazy not for fun - that would have been much more enjoyable. But mostly because she refused to sit still. And of course that just contributed to her drowsiness, but she didn't give into it as often as she ought. She needed to cut back, she needed to try and save them, she couldn't exactly just buy more. But she wanted to try and help out at the house as much as she could. She wasn't going to take advantage of their hospitality. No she was going to scrub things that didn't really need scrubbing. And make leave in conditioner for Clementine that left the kitchen smelling like flowers.
She looked over at her phone plugged into the wall, she thought about trying Wren - even at 3 in the morning, Luke said she’d call when she woke up. It had been hours. She had to have been up from her nap by now. And probably back in bed...Because it was late and no she didn’t want to call so late.
She walked over to the couch and fluffed the pillows and walked over to a chair and did the same. She straightened the remotes and took a couple of bottles into the kitchen trash. While in there she wiped down the clean counters and swept the clean floors.
She went back into the living room and picked up a magazine and flipped through it, no idea what she was reading, just staring and flipping pages. She then turned her gaze and watched the snow fall outside and she looked again at her phone and wondered if she should call and check on Daisy. No. Late. Again. She practiced in her mind what she would say. How she would prove that she was okay to take her.
Then she practiced how she would ask if she and Daisy could say for just a couple of days here. Then she wondered if she shouldn’t ask and if they should just go home. Or find some place else and get a brand new start. She smiled to herself at the thought, because it was bright in her mind but she knew it wouldn’t be that easy. She didn’t know how to do that, not yet. She didn’t know how to find that part of herself again. She leaned her head back as she felt her eyes prick with tears refusing to let them spill over as she heard the familiar cruel voice saying words over and over. She set the magazine down on the table and stood up quickly, too quickly.
She felt dizzy, and almost fell over and her leg burned but she didn’t care. She shivered as she made her way over to the woodstove. She opened it quietly, and added a few logs and stoked the fire a bit, the task keeping her warm and giving her something else to focus on. She tidied up the living room again. Rearranged the pillows.
She went into the kitchen and mopped the clean floor, she went into the downstairs bathroom and cleaned the clean toilet and when she was done she finally laid back down on the couch, resting her eyes for just a few minutes, she tucked the blanket up under her chin and elevated her leg up on a few pillows. Tired as anything her eyes drifted closed.
Ten minutes later she jerked awake afraid she’d slept too long, afraid it was afternoon, or worse the next evening she checked her phone and her heart rate slowed, relaxed and she let herself drift off again, only to be awakened again in the same manner ten minutes later. And it went on. And on. Until the sun was up just a few hours later. So she got up off of the couch, folded her blanket neatly, went into the kitchen, and began making a pot of coffee.