The room was so new, and so unfamiliar that she didn't even know if she was in the right place. The boxes with her name on them were stacked around her, and somewhere there was furniture. The room was nice, everything here was nice. It even smelled nice. But it took a while for her to get her bearings, her body was slightly sore and she was drenched to the bone. The only thing that drew her out of her temporary displacement was hiccup cry of a baby behind her. That sound brought her right back to reality and she exhaled in relief. That was a sound she recognized and a sound that kept her grounded. Well, at the very least, it was the sound that kept her waking up every day.
She didn't want to think about the baby in the playpen all night while she'd been gone. She didn't want to think about anything of the sort, she picked her up and held her tightly closely to her, soaked clothes and all. She kissed the cheeks of her daughter, and ignored the toddler's squirming. She apologized for leaving, though it was likely the child had just woken up, still the guilt was overwhelming. Anything could have happened and she'd have been somewhere in someone else's body, weeping about the shitty state of affairs her life was in.
And yes, it was a shitty state of affairs to be moving into a strange room, in a strange house, full of strangers because she couldn't stop ruining her best friend's couch with indoor downpours. It was a shitty state of affairs to be achey and soaking wet and having no idea why while your baby slept alone in a strange house in a strange room. It was a shitty state of affairs to have absolutely no idea what to do with anything even after forcing some poor stranger to listen to her wallow. Everyone had it bad. Everyone was miserable. And she had no right to do any less than anyone else did. Which was suck it up and move on.
She walked into her new bathroom, bouncing a content baby on her hip and flipped on the light switch. It was supposedly her bathroom, her very own. Something about have a a baby in the house allowed one of the several private bathrooms and she said fine. She had barely gone through the motions of coming to this place, this weird place that felt nothing like a home was supposed to feel like. She was bringing her toddler to a house full of mutants who couldn't control their powers, and moving her toddler yet again to another temporary place. Every fear she had about becoming a mother was coming true and even though she was standing on marble flooring with gold light fixtures shining down on the both of them (it was hardly the slums of Moscow or Kiev). Sure she'd never be exactly as bad, she wouldn't make the same bad choices. But bad choices were all she seemed to have these days.
Someone had told her tonight to trust herself a little bit, and to ask for help. She didn't know who to ask. Or who would be able to help. It seemed so far out of the question she almost scoffed at considering it in the first place. She didn't know if it was better or worse having some of her fears out in the universe. She didn't know if it meant anything. She didn't want to think about whatever might have happened to her or her own body. She didn't know what to even think about it. So Evie pressed it down inside of her on top of everything else she was refusing to think about. Even though that specific compartment was beginning to overflow she sang Daisy a happy little song and forced herself to be just fine.