Re: In-person: Sam & Cris
[She doesn't think about who she's leaving behind when fear hits strong like that, and she still remembers being young, remembers it sharp and hard enough to know that girl wouldn't have run. But Sam's not that girl, yeah? When it's all said and done, that girl's as much NOT her as she IS her, and Sam runs when she's scared. Maybe she's been running since Al, and maybe she just never quit. One day, maybe she'll run and be sorry, lose this, lose HIM, but she doesn't think about loss. It's not a thinking thing. It's something in the gut, fear prickling the skin, and maybe she's just hella messed up.
But all that fear, and she hasn't itched at her arms once, no gnaw in her belly, and her headache isn't the same as the weary-sick that was visible in her eyes before. That's something, yeah? Like she's the only one home upstairs, focused for the first time since the seizures started. No hallucinations, and he's the only one in the room with her. He says he won't let Cerise keep Elliot away, and that makes her shudder hard, all the way to fingertips.
He tips her, hands under her ass, and she knows she needs to let him go. Press of lips, and she knows she needs to just take that promise and tell him to get dressed, make him GO. But she follows the promise with another kiss, hard and spit and desperate. Fast, yeah? No patience, none of the exploratory bullshit of the teenager she was. She kisses him with teeth, her fingers sliding down to scrape beneath white cotton, scratch at belly and hair, as if digging in short and jagged nails, marking him red, will accomplish something.
She has to yank herself away, yeah? Breathing hard, off his lap, her forearms leaving shirt rucked over his belly, and she stands at the foot of the couch and exhales hard and shaky in the dark. She doesn't tell him the five minutes are up; she forgets. Her chest rises and falls fast beneath that hoodie, and her jeans are way the fuck down over hips, and she just swallows want and fear, and raises her hand to hold onto that medallion.]