Re: In-person: Sam & Cris
[He is strong. She doesn't get that he's not, and maybe that's some kind of understanding that comes without comprehension. Because he's there, voice broke and threatening to overflow, breach and spill all over both of them, but she still thinks he's strong. She feels safe there, his arms around her and her fingers tight in his hair. Like he can keep the storms out, beyond windows and doors, and even her nightmares can't reach. And she has a lot of nightmares, yeah? They all came flooding back, flooring her and knocking the wind from her, gut overturned at that lakehouse. But she doesn't think they can come here, where he is, the nightmares, and that's her thinking he's strong.
His cheek's against her chest, and her twist and twine of fingers turns back into cradle-calloused fingers against scalp. She hums, yeah? Which is unthinking, and used to be she'd always have one earbud in, an aria going, but life got too shitty for arias, for the raw emotion that comes with music and words like that, and she hasn't listened in forever. But she hums one now, slow and quiet, and she tips chin to chest when he kisses the medallion.
But she knows he's going to say he's got to go. He isn't like her. He doesn't run. She runs, flees, leaves scary things in her wake. This is terrifying, too, but she's clinging, and maybe she'll lose it and be gone once he's out the door. But not now. He says it'll be better if he goes, and she doesn't trust Cerise either; she never did trust Cerise.] She wouldn't tell people where Ian was in the end. [She remembers, and it's her way of saying to be careful.]
I'll stay tonight, if you want. [She wants to. It's there in the way she chews at her cheek, that she's hoping he'll say he wants her to stay. She drags her thumb over his lower lip, and she gets his smile is something he tried to put on for her. She feels low, yeah? So fucking low, and it's not just the upheaval in her belly, or the ache behind her ear. Nah, it's THIS, all of this, and her eyes are haunted ink as she looks down at him.] I can't do this much more, so come home, ok?