roruna (roruna) wrote in roads_diverged, @ 2009-04-01 23:10:00 |
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Vimes proceeded out of Badger’s den with Detritus and Carrot close behind. “I told you he just made us come here just to give me go se.” Vimes had just enough restraint to keep from announcing to the crowd in the docks that Badger was sending them to collect cargo from a derelict ship somewhere around
“Well well well.” Badger had said with a wide grin. “If it ain’t the sheriff of Ankh-Morpork. I heard you got yourself a little ship, Vimesy. I din’t quite believe it meself until just now. I fought no force in the ‘Verse would get that badge off a ya.”
And Vimes had said. “Yeah well… things change.”
“I’ve been hearing things, sheriff. I’ve been hearing that you and your lads are looking for work. I’ve been hearing that you think I can throw some work your way.”
Vimes didn’t say anything for a long time and then said, “That’s true. I’ve heard things too. I’ve heard that you know some people that have some cargo that needs to be moved quietly.” There had been no significant pauses between any of Vimes’ words. He had some pride and would not be that kind of crook. “And I wasn’t a sheriff, Badger. I was an Inspector and that was a long time ago.”
“When we met you was a Sergeant. I heard you was a Sergeant recently too. Did it feel weird being bumped down like that?”
“Coppers and soldiers aren’t the same thing, Badger.”
“If you say so.” Badger chuckled. “The ‘Verse takes some funny turns, don’t it? You used to be a Big Bad Copper. And I was… what did you call me that day when you nicked me?” He paused and then with a grin said, “Ah right, you said that I was small time and a little dog’s jībā. But now look at me. I got meself a right institution going. I’m a pillar of the community, an upstanding businessman and you, sheriff, are small time. Just a petty cro—”
The punch had even caught Vimes by surprise. The only person that had noticed him getting wound up had been Carrot. So when Vimes knocked out one of Badger’s teeth and Badger’s men had rushed him, Carrot was able to stop them from shooting Vimes. Of course, one of them had still caught him one under his eye wearing some brass knuckles and then more of Badger’s men had turned up and two of men were holding Vimes and Carrot down. By then Badger had recovered and then…
“I could order my lads to kill ya, sheriff. One in the brain for you and your lad, Carrot. I really could. But see, I don’t forget a kindness. I woulda strayed no end if you hadn’t put my feet on the proper path. So I’ll help ya. ‘Cause ya need it. Ain’t that right.”
Vimes nodded eventually.
“Now now now, sheriff. Where are your manners? You gotta ask me proper like. And don’t forget the magic words.”
“Badger…” Vimes caught the little head tilt. “Sir…” Vimes managed to say without needing to spit. “My lads and I have got a ship and we need a job—”
“Who needs a job?”
Vimes closed his eyes. Right, it wasn’t about the lads. “I need a job. Please.”
Badger grinned with obscene delight. At least he had the decency not to laugh. “There. Now what that so hard?”
Vimes lied and shook his head.
“See how much better things work when we’re polite?”
Vimes nodded.
“Right. You got the job. Have your ship at the docks at
“Thank you, sir.”
So after getting paid for that first smuggling job, Vimes bought himself fingerless gloves that were made of extremely stiff leather so they’d creak every time he made a fist. The rest of his share, he spent on liquor. He’d felt wrong and sick and dirty after doing that job. He’d been so sure that he’d finally crossed some line and there would be nothing that would ever make him feel so wrong ever again but as so often happened when Vimes was sure that nothing could get worse, he’d been wrong. Smuggling was one thing. He hardly saw anything wrong with it anymore. Smuggling was just… well, it was just people getting stuff from one place to another without paying extra fees really. At least that’s what Vimes told himself now. But this new job… Scavenging. That had to be a new low. They were going to pick the last of the meat off of the dead like some godsdamn buzzard.
And because Vimes was still a copper in his soul, he wondered how the hell Badger knew that some ship was dead in the water. How could he be sure that the goods would still be there? He must find things out very quickly. Then Vimes wondered how he knew so quickly. Did he know what would happen and hadn’t done a thing to help? Vimes tried to wave away the red mist that was descending. Oh no, our Badger would of course help things along. “Badger’s never given us a job like dis before.” Detritus said. Vimes nodded slowly. “I wonder why he suddenly decided to.” Carrot thought a moment and said, “This is usually the kind of job that Mal gets, isn’t it? I heard that Badger wasn’t going to work with him anymore.”
Vimes looked at Carrot. “And why is that, do you think?” Carrot thought for a moment and said, “I heard that Badger was mad that Mal flashed Serenity’s… bottom at the Feds and that he wasn’t going to tell Badger that the goods were imprinted.” Vimes tried not to smile. He probably shouldn’t like Mal. The man was definitely reckless, even during the war but anyone that pissed off Badger had a special place in Vimes’ heart. “What did…” He stifled a laugh. “What did Badger do when he found out about the goods?” He snickered. Carrot sighed. “He didn’t take them, I heard. He told Mal to push off and that was it.” Vimes blinked. “Really? Our Badger was so mad that he let go of valuable merchandise? Even if it was imprinted…” He shrugged and sped up when the Watch was in sight.
Vetinari and Nobby were waiting as Vimes and the lads walked up the ramp and into the cargo bay. “We’re gotta do a pick up ‘round
Vimes opened the little door that led to the passenger dorms. “I could just kill him you know. I mean why the hell not. I’m already a crook and I’m almost completely sure I’d be doing the ‘Verse a favor if I rid it of that little shǐ—” He turned to the stair case. He’d been vaguely aware of someone walking down them. He could hear their steps. But when he looked up, his rant was thrown completely off course by one of those staircase moments. The one when some vision walks down the stairs and the world slows down. For several seconds, Vimes’ mind was fixated on a pair of shapely legs. Any woman in the right shoes and the right skirt can have gorgeous legs, Rosie had told Sybil. She hadn’t quite believed it but when she looked down and saw Vimes staring up at her, his mouth actually hanging open, Sybil made a mental note to buy Rosie something delicious and/or expensive.
“—Dàn.” Vimes concluded weakly. Sybil smiled at him. “Why captain, this is a surprise.” She said winsomely. Vimes blinked and he felt his stomach twist in a not entirely unpleasant way. She reached the bottom of the stairs and kissed Vimes on both cheeks in that way women do sometimes. She’d press her cheek to his and make a kissing sound and then switch cheeks. Then Vimes’ brain informed him that his mouth was hanging open. He closed it. He was gradually becoming aware of his surroundings again. He could feel the lads grinning. He could certainly feel Nobby’s leer on the back of his neck. Vetinari was smiling just slightly which for him was probably rolling on the floor with tears running down his face from laughter. Carrot was smiling and probably thinking that this was all very sweet.
Vimes smiled anxiously and prayed that his voice wouldn’t crack. He was very aware that he was behaving like a teenage boy. “Sybil, I never expected…” He stopped and tried another route. “Yes, this is a surprise. I haven’t seen you in... How long has it been?” Sybil looked down. “About six years.” Vimes breathed. “Has it really been that long?” Sybil nodded. “Yes, I’m as shocked as you are, believe me. It’s good to see you doing so well though, captain.” She almost purred the word ‘captain’. Bits of Vimes melted into warm and happy goo but the moment passed in a flash. He turned his head to his crew. “Don’t just stand there gawping, you lot! I know I don’t pay you to stand around grinning! You got jobs, now get on them!” The crew climbed up the stairs muttering to themselves and pausing occasionally to see if they could catch some last second entertainment.
Vimes and Sybil stood in silence awhile. Vimes cleared his throat. “So…” He paused as his brain cells tried valiantly to regroup despite the lack of blood flow to his head. “What have you been up to?” Sybil laughed softly, although it could have been a giggle. “Oh not very much. Doing more er… fundraising for good causes than volunteering lately.” She put her hand on her hip and rubbed it a bit. Vimes tried not to stare. “I’m not as young as I used to be, you understand.” Vimes nodded and then, because parts of him were still thinking said, “Well you look great. Really er… great.” Sybil smiled and said quietly. “Thank you, Sam.” She rubbed her hip again and stretched. Vimes’ brain nudged him again. “Oh er… there’s a chair…” He pointed helplessly to the little chair beside the stair case. It was the closest thing to a waiting area for the infirmary the Watch had.
Sybil sat down, crossing her legs at the ankles. Vimes leaned against the wall, searching desperately for something to talk about. “Didn’t know much fundraising went on in
Sybil stood up and smiled brightly. “I’m sure that you’re not that interested in my life, Sam. It’s just charity events and accounting really. It’s dull enough without being compared to a life of traveling the black.” She reached out and brushed the faint scar over Vimes’ right eye very lightly with her fingertips. The copper in Vimes’ brain was finally completely silenced by the horny sixteen year-old in Vimes’ brain. Sybil blushed. Then she said rather professionally. “You see ok out that eye?” Vimes nodded helplessly. To his horror, she moved her hand from his face and then ran both hands very lightly over his sides. “Ribs ok? I remember you broke some of them. Did they set right? They don’t twinge in cold weather or anything?”
Vimes laughed suddenly. “Are you really standing here giving me a follow up physical?” Sybil paused. She looked as surprised as he did. She nodded. “It certainly looks that way.” They both became aware that Sybil still had her hands on his sides. Neither of them moved. Vimes tried to think. When was the last time he’d had sex? He knew that Sybil had been the last time he’d had sex while sober… after that he decided he couldn’t trust his memory. He looked at Sybil’s face. It was looking distinctly red. Was she thinking along the same lines? She looked up at him. “Has it really been six years, Sam?” Vimes nodded. Sybil stepped a little closer. Their bodies weren’t touching but Vimes could feel the warmth radiating from Sybil. “Feels like it was just yesterday. It always does, doesn’t it?”
Vimes smiled a little. “Yea.” He reached up and stroked Sybil’s cheek. Sybil closed her eyes and smiled. She tilted her head towards his hand. A little sigh escaped her throat. Ye gods, Vimes missed this. How had he lived for six years without this woman? She was everything. She was ‘Verse itself and everything in it. He’d missed her so much and he didn’t even realize it until she was in front of him again… No you didn’t! Screamed the core of black nailed cynicism in Vimes’ brain. You just miss having sex, you horny bastard. All that flowery prose you’re ready to hand her is just a load of pìhuà to get her into bed. No, he really… Oh please. It’s just perfect, ain’t it? She’s a passenger on your ship. So you can get some and then drop her off at her destination and not see hide nor hair of her ever again. Vimes lowered his hand and stepped back. “I er… I have some er… work… captainy things… Ship needs to be… yea.” He said weakly and before Sybil could say anything, Vimes rushed up the staircase and was gone. Sybil smiled and felt downright giddy as she walked back to her stateroom.
The crew and one tenant of the Watch were milling around trying to talk while straining to listen to the conversation between Vimes and Sybil on the lower deck. “So that’s… two platinum you owe me, Mister Nobbs.” Vetinari said casually. Nobby snorted. “Two? Why? His jaw dropped but that was all.” Vetinari raised an eyebrow. “Did you see his face when she called him ‘captain’?” Nobby nodded slowly. “Yea, what of it? Grinning like a fool ain’t the same as pitching a te—” Carrot coughed meaningfully. Nobby leaned back and sulked. “Well it ain’t.” Vetinari shrugged. “That may be, Mister Nobbs but I was not particularly inclined to confirm. I think his face said it all.” Rosie smirked. When she was sure that she wouldn’t burst with laughter if she opened her mouth, she said, “I wish I could have seen it.” She laughed a little. “Vimesy can get really wound up, eh? I mean, it’s not like Lady Ramkin is dressed all that provocatively but you make it sound like he saw her wearing two tassels and a folded hanky.”
Vetinari and Nobby paused a moment as they considered this possibility. Nobby’s face went red with the effort of not laughing himself sick. Vetinari turned off-white. He coughed. Carrot sat down next to Rosie. “Well, I think it’s great. Captain Vimes could do with some cheering up. Usually it takes a day or two after seeing Badger before he can talk to anyone without shouting. But I think he’s forgotten all about him after seeing Lady Ramkin.” Vetinari gave Nobby a pointed look. “It ain’t the same thing.” Nobby insisted. Vetinari raised an eyebrow. “It ain’t.” Nobby said with less conviction. Vetinari stared at Nobby awhile then sighed. “Yes… I suppose you’re right.” He leaned back in his chair. There was a long silence and then Nobby said, “He’ll be right back when someone brings Badger up again though. We can’t exactly talk about work with the passengers around.”
Vetinari sat up straight. “I have to disagree with you there, Mister Nobbs. Oh I don’t imagine that he’ll have a sunny disposition but I think any mention of Badger will illicit no more than mild displeasure. He’ll consider him a nuisance and a necessary chore.” Nobby and Vetinari stared at each other grinning very slightly. Nobby nodded. “I’ll take that bet. One platinum says he’ll curse. Another if he takes a drink from his flask.” Vetinari nodded. “Fair enough. One says he’ll say he’d forgotten all about him, another if he shrugs.” Carrot and Rosie looked at each other and stifled sighs. It wasn’t that they didn’t find Vimes as entertaining as Nobby and Vetinari did but gambling on his behavior was just bad form. Nobby looked over to Detritus. “What about you? Gunna place a bet?” Detritus was standing very still and staring off into the distance as he often did while waiting for the next thought to turn up. Then he said, “Dinner’s gunna be interestin’.”
Nobby and Vetinari’s eyes met. But before they could place any bets about the possible events of dinner, they heard Vimes climbing quickly up the stairs. When he reached the top, he pulled his hip flask out of his pocket and took a gulp. Nobby raised a finger and grinned widely. Vetinari shrugged. Everyone sat quietly waiting for Vimes to take in his surroundings. He stared at the crew as if rummaging through the filing cabinet of his memory. “Oh! Er… are we ready to go?” Nobby shrugged. “Yes but it would help if I knew where we were going. We got three passengers who are under the impression that we’re going to
Vimes blinked. Then the penny dropped. “Oh go se!” Nobby pointed at Vetinari and waggled his eyebrows. “I forgot all about Badger.” Vimes said. Vetinari waved a hand lazily. Vimes put his hands in his pockets and tapped his foot anxiously. Then with a frustrated sigh, he shrugged. “We have to go to
Another penny dropped. “Tzao-gao!” Vimes pulled out a chair roughly from under the table and sunk down. “How are we going to get the goods without…” He looked at Carrot. “We have three passengers?” Carrot nodded slowly. “Yes.” Vetinari said. “A Miss Sally Von Humperding, a Mister Winsborough Knock and Lady Sybil Ramkin, whom I believe you’ve already met.” Vetinari spoke without any kind of insinuation. Vimes looked sheepish anyway. “We should probably tell them about the detour to
There was a crackle of static and then, “Er… ‘bout a hundred hours.” Vimes smacked his head against the wall. “That’s twice as long as it takes to get from here to
Vimes had been quite surprised to find out that interplanetary piloting was about more than steering. Steering was actually an extremely small part of piloting. Any fool could steer a ship and a slightly brighter fool could keep a ship from hitting something once in the black but there was maths that needed doing. Orbits, degrees, time and distance to calculate and even the slightest variation in one part of the equation could throw everything off. Nobby had once told* Vimes that if a ship veered off course by one degree, it needed to be adjusted by two and left for the same amount of time and then adjusted by one again just to get back on track and even then, you should double check the computer to be sure you were still going the right way because of the amount of time you spent adjusting degrees and time is a big factor when orbits are involved.
Well, hopefully the passengers were in too big a hurry to wait an extra week. Vimes hit the intercom again and broadcast in an uncharacteristically pleasant tone, “Good afternoon, this is your captain speaking. Would all passengers please report the galley, thank you?” He was definitely feeling hopeful. Sure, it would mean refunding their money but passengers always brought in substantially less money than cargo. Cargo didn’t need feeding… usually. A few seconds later, there were footsteps coming up the stair case. Vimes’ heart sank just a little when he remembered Sybil was one of the passengers. He wouldn’t have minded spending an extra week with her. Sybil smiled timidly when she made eye contact with him and then sat down next to Rosie.
It was strange to see both women side by side. Sybil would always be described as ‘having a pretty face if she just lost some of the weight’ while Rosie often made men forget their own names at introductions. ** They were both attractive but in very different ways. Rosie could inspire men to make great works of art or do things that were terminally stupid but she was far too grand for the likes of a mortal man. Sybil was more approachable. She was someone that you could do little mundane things with like talk to and buy groceries with but she could, at the right moment, smile and knock you off balance for a second. Sybil and Rosie were like Demeter and Aphrodite. Both goddesses, both formidable, both works of art just rulers of different domains.
Vimes looked over at the other two passengers. Sally looked a bit younger than Carrot. She was thin and pale. She looked like an artist though Vimes couldn’t figure out what her medium was just yet. She wasn’t dressed in accordance with current teen trends. She looked very bohemian, dressed in old clothes, probably bought at a thrift store rather than handed down. No one would give anyone they knew a thread bare turquoise scarf with big hot pink polka dots. Though Vimes couldn’t imagine why anyone would pay money for something like that. Knock was standing next to her but with a good gap between them. He looked a bit older than Vimes and was portly. Vimes already disliked him intensely not that he often didn’t dislike most people on sight. It just saved time in the long run to assume everyone was a right bastard.
Vimes wondered how to deliver the news. He put a hand in his jeans pocket. “Ladies and gentleman, I’m Captain Sam Vimes and this is my ship, the Watch.” He cleared his throat. “I understand that you were planning on traveling to
Knock on the other hand, looked impatient on general principle. He’d probably swear not quite under his breath and leave in a huff. He looked down at the floor, deep in thought and didn’t say anything. Vimes looked at Sybil. She definitely looked concerned. That special project of hers probably couldn’t wait five more days. Damn, Vimes thought. The one person he would have liked to stay on the ship was probably going to leave. With each passing second, she was passing through concern to straight dread. He could see her agonizing over the pros and cons of staying or going. He saw her lips moved once or twice. Then she must have remembered or come up with something that finally tipped the scales. “Well… I’m not in that much of a hurry.” She said quietly then she smiled brightly. Vimes wondered if it was feigned. “And who can say when I’ll find another ship going to
Vimes tried not to look too pleased about Sybil’s decision. He probably shouldn’t be pleased. No, not probably. He definitely shouldn’t be pleased. There were plenty of reasons not to. For one, Sybil was probably going to pay closer attention to Vimes than Sally and Knock so she might ask some uncomfortable questions like ‘where are you going?’ and ‘mind if I tag along?’ Of course the other problem, the big problem, the problem that was so big, Vimes couldn’t see it because it was in the way, was that Sybil had met him when Vimes still proceeded in a straight line. He was still straight as an arrow, honest like anything in those days. But now, he was a crook and he was going to be crooked right under her nose. If they got caught, Sybil would find out how far Vimes had fallen. And she was probably putting that special project of hers aside just to spend some time with him too.
“You know, the lady has a point.” Knock said, totally pulling Vimes out of his reverie. “Who knows when another ship will be heading for
Sybil shifted her weight, looking a little anxious again. “That must be rather vexing, the
“Is it always like this?” Sybil asked loudly. Vimes nodded hopelessly. He scooted a little closer to her as the roar of the ship changed slightly. It would be taking off any second now. He raised a finger and grinned. “Here comes the good part.” He said. Sybil’s brow wrinkled. “What?” And then the Watch lifted off. It was rather similar to the way a commercial airplane takes off except without the warning of taxiing. Sometimes it still caught Vimes by surprise if he wasn’t close to the engine room. The expression on Sybil’s face as the Watch lifted off could only be described as shock and awe. It wasn’t that take off was particularly unpleasant but there were a lot of strange sensations for the body to deal with. The body can feel the change in altitude, that sensation of falling in reverse and different parts of the body felt it at different times. Vimes was sure that the blood knew before the rest of the body was caught up on current events. Of course it was already trying to deal with the ship’s vibrations.
And for some reason the brain decides that the body is the most important thing to focus on at the moment so it became extremely aware of vibrations and blood flowing and falling in reverse. But it took people differently. Vetinari and Nobby could ignore all the sensations that come with taking off because they had jobs to do. Carrot and Detritus always had to hold onto something or they thought they’d fall over. Rosie had once said that it made her feel tingly and refused to elaborate when Nobby asked her what she meant by tingly. Vimes wasn’t sure what he felt other than a total rush. He watched Sybil’s face again wondering how it would take her. She was licking and biting her lips, probably unconsciously. She shifted her hips a little in her seat. So tingly, is it? Several minutes passed before the ship finally broke atmo and the only gravity that existed was in the ship.
Blood and bodies got their bearings. The engine’s roar became a hum. Vimes sighed and leaned back on the couch. “Pretty wild, eh?” It occurred to Vimes that Sybil really did wonders for his mood. He was really happy that she was here and he shouldn’t be but he didn’t care. Sybil took a deep breath. Her face turned a lovely shade of pink that stood out more because of her pale blue cashmere sweater. “Yes, wild is definitely a way of putting it.” Vimes chuckled. “It takes some getting used to. Didn’t like it, did you?” Sybil turned noticeably pinker. “Oh I wouldn’t say that.” She shifted in her seat again, her thighs rubbed together slowly. Vimes pretended not to notice. Sybil moved closer to Vimes and put her hand on his knee. “So… we’re going to spend almost a week together. Won’t that be interesting?”
Vimes cleared his throat and nodded. “Yea… it’ll give us time to catch up properly.” Vimes hadn’t really meant anything by that when he said it but the words still hung in the air all big and pink. Sybil blinked very slowly. She smiled just a little. “We have six years worth of catching up to do, captain.” Vimes was sure that all the blood in his body rushed to his face and that really was a mercy. “Should be… very interesting then.” He answered weakly. Sybil laughed gently. She leaned closer to him, her hand moved up his thigh a little. “Shall we get started?” Vimes could just about manage a nod. He put his hand on her cheek and just as their lips were inches from touching, the door to the engine room opened. “Pardon me.” Vetinari said with total composure. He didn’t stand around or grin knowingly. He just walked across the galley to the door that Carrot, Rosie and Detritus had exited to before the ship took off but Vimes had already moved to an end of the couch leaving a good foot and a half gap between him and Sybil.
He stood up after a moment. “I er…” Sybil stood up and smiled brightly. “Have captainy things to do?” Vimes tried not to look embarrassed. He nodded. “Yes, exactly. We’ll have to catch up later.” Sybil nodded understanding. “Of course. We have plenty of time.” She started walking toward the stair case. “I’ll be in my room if you want me.” She said before she started climbing down the stairs. Vimes stood perfectly still as his brain turned Sybil’s last sentence over and over. Eventually he decided not to make too much of it because women get very angry when you jump to a conclusion like that. He took another gulp from his flask to steady his nerves. Then he went through the door Vetinari had just crossed and headed for the bridge.
* Actually it wasn’t so much told as told off.
** Vimes had seen this done a few times and had to agree with Vetinari that it never stopped being funny.