Please, HBO, can I at least keep my clothes on this time?
Dear Annoying Guests Who Seem To Have Even Less Tact Than I Do,
The next one of you that brings up any of the following is going to get used as a live target in my next archery lesson.
• Doyle. Don't talk about him, don't ask about him, don't discuss my kiss with him, don't even think about considering doing any of those things. In fact, don't even think about him at all when you're around me.
• Groo. It's over. He moved on. So did I. Granted my moving on was more in a 'realized I was in love with someone else then had my body stolen by a higher power' sort of way, but still. He's out of my life and he's not coming back.
• Connor. Do not, and I mean do not, go there. Period. At all. Whatsoever.
• Jasmine. See: Connor.
Also, there is this thing called a personal bubble. If Angel can figure it out and he's a complete and utter spaz in most social settings, I'm sure you all can manage it too. If you're close enough that I can smell what you had for breakfast, that is too close. Why some of you can't figure this out on your own I don't know, but I suggest you meet it, know it, love it, marry it, whatever. Just figure it out before I drop one of you like a sack of potatoes.
Now. As I said in my last post, I am willing to answer questions about other things and there are some things I'm not. I'm also willing to do my job like a good little kidnap victim and teach you how to handle a bow and arrow without killing yourself or someone around you. But, like I said. Bring up any of those topics one more time, and I'm going to string you up and put a big target on your forehead for my next lesson. And if any of you know enough about my life to know about any of those topics, you'll also know that I don't lie. So don't test me on this.
Mind your manners and I won't verbally eviscerate you. Unless that's what you want. Then you're just a freak and need to get serious mental help.
P.S. And for the last time, no. I cannot make my 'cool new powers' work at will. Or my visions. Threatening to hit me with something isn't going to change that. It's just going to piss me off. So stop acting like a bunch of retarded monkeys and just be grateful that you even get to meet me.