Ridgeway Resort - Network Comm

Go to your basements now, follow the tunnels that were used during the invasion of the animated corpses, and come into the main house. Now. Take the elevator to the top floor, there you will find everything you need. Food, clothes. Tranquilizer darts. You will be safe there, from everyone that is... effected by her. No one that is infected will beable to get in. Yet you will beable to come and go... Though I plead with you do not go. Please do not leave that area. There is only so much I can do against her. Besides strangle her. Be safe, avoid those you know and those you care about... They maybe infected.

Be careful

James

WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON AROUND HERE?!?

Everyone is acting GROSS!

On my way to the golf cart garage I saw like these people practically doing IT on the ninth hole! Then I saw these other making out behind a tree!

And I think I was hit on by some old man. WHY IS EVERYONE ACTING SO WEIRD?! I mean, WEIRDER than NORMAL around here!

One of these guests? pointed me toward this movie I should watch, so I watched it last night. It was me on the screen, in Wonderland.

Private to Hatter

Have you watched it? I guess there are a few things we should talk about, since you remember it and I don't.

Why was I handed a phone? Where have you taken Jack? And why aren't I wet? I fell into the lake? or at least I thought I did.

What the heck is a "safety dance"?

Some guy that I was driving around the golf course did his "safety dance" each time before he hit the ball. He sang this stupid song too where he spelled out "safety" and just looked stupid.

We should have a concert... why can't that Petersen-boss-man bring like, Justin Bieber or Hannah Montana to the resort? Someone cool, not all these weirdos.

Also, to whom it may concern:

I'm sorry about hitting your stuff with my golf cart. I know I was going too fast, but your stuff shouldn't have been in the middle of the pathway.

Thanks Gabri So I'm hungry. I'm going to have a late night junk fest in the living room of Cabin 001 and anyone else who's interested is invited.

Has anyone seen my sister??

I'm scared.

There I said it!

I'm twelve years old, in a place that I don't even recognize with a bunch of crazy people and the one person on this planet who I trust the most is no where to be found!

I'm scared out of my mind. I lived through the zombie apocalypse and even that seems like a walk in the park compared to this crap! I want to go home to Z-Land to be with my sister, and I want to go back to the way things were.

Are you happy now?! Is that the kind of honesty you wanted? Because I have more if you want more. I can give you an entire list of truths but it won't change a freakin' thing.

So, seriously, who wants to pimp my golf cart? I'm tired of it looking like all the other golf carts. That tan color is sooooooooooo boring. I was thinking maybe pink with some purple and blue flowers.

If I can't have flowers, can I at least have a cd player? I guesssssss I could settle for a tape player, but who the heck listens to TAPES anymore?

And... can I have one of the papers that describes my job? I'm not required to actually CARRY the golf hitter things, am I? I mean, the bag comes up to my shoulders, and weighs almost twice as much as me. I'm not exactly Arnold Schwarzenegger - I can't carry crap like that! I'll drive them around, that I don't really care about... but if I'm going to have to CARRY their things too? Well, we're going to have to talk about finding me some other kind of job.... because I can't carry those things!

I'm tired of this. I think I'm going to be washing my mouth out for weeks as it is. I really should have learned not to bite dead things after the first bite.. but it's my best defense when I'm a wolf.

Anyone else for holding up in one of the cabins for a while.. I think any more guests that are stupid enough to be out, should take what's coming to them.

Soooooo not cool, man. A zombie just ralphed guts and blood all over my sneakers. Hey Petersen, I need a new pair of sneakers. Black Chuck Taylors size 5, please and thank you.

Note to everyone: The sewers reek. Gross, nasty. Don't go down there, seriously. I'm going to be washing this stench off for months. UGH!

Well, it seems funny to be taken out of Zombieland... only to be placed to another place that contains, yet again, more zombies. Kind of ironic, if you ask me.

But the still basic rules still hold here, even though these zombies are kind of, well... slow and dimwitted. Everyone, remember to double tap. Make sure that they're done before heading off towards another. They're liable to turn around and bite you in the thigh. Antidote in the water or not. I would expect those bites to..um, hurt...very very much.

It's kinda funny. My parents are complete shut ins when they were alive. I never got a chance to see them before they...moved on, so to speak. I guess, some human attributes do follow you when one becomes a zombie. The ones that look like my parents...are just hanging out..by the lake. Just waiting for their...I guess they're just waiting for the "food" to come to them.

All they need is a couch and a television set and it's basically just like back home.

I saw Buck among them... That ain't right. That's my kid!

So... right. Not that I don't appreciate the rather ridiculous employment offer, or the hordes of the undead attempting to gnaw me to bits, but I'm afraid I must decline. I have an appointment, see, and my grandmum really isn't the most patient type. She'll hex you to pieces if... wait. Muggles. be rather cross if I'm late for supper.

Oh my freaking god! What the hell is going on in this dump?!

Why are there zombies pounding at my cabin door? What the hell did I smoke?!