Ridgeway Resort - Network Comm

Evening class tonight for martial arts is cancelled. You can dock it off my pay, Petersen.

[ooc: Occurs after this. Angel will not be replying.]

To the whackjobs fans:

NO I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH MY BROTHER.

Nor am I in love with Lucifer. Or Cas. Or really anyone. No, I will not drink demon blood for you and no I will not 'call forth Lucifer.' You don't really want me to do that and I don't want to do it.

Yes, I am straight, yes, I miss Jess, no I will not 'bite your jaw' and no, I will not go on a date with you. Because I don't know you.

I'm pretty sure that doesn't cover even half of the strange questions I got today, but it's a start.

Oh, and don't. call. me. Sammy.

Sure, why not. It's Gaia. Guy-uh. Not Gay-uh. I will not play chess with you because chances are if you're the kind of person who is here and yelling at me for breaking Ed's heart then you probably are really, really, really bad and I don't want to waste my time. Martial arts are actually kind of serious business and stop yelling at me while I'm trying to teach you. Yes, my Uncle killed my Mom, no I am not over it and no I don't want to talk to about it, would you? I have no idea who Rachel Leigh Cook is and why she was cast as me in the failed tv show if she isn't even blonde, up till the other day I wasn't even aware there were books about my life let alone a tv show that never got picked up. Sure, Ian Somerhalder is probably hot but no I would not "do him". I don't even know him. Apparently I'm Yuri and have connections, good for me. I can not get you tickets to that thing you like because of it.

The fearless thing? Yeah, you don't want it. Trust me. It's not cool and it's not awesome or amazing or whatever you were trying to say around that jangled mess of high pitched squeeing noise. It sucks.

And Heather Gannis will never be my bff or whatever you called it. It's not happening. In any life time.

Looks like I'm jumping on the bandwagon here. Hopefully this works before I actually lose it and convince Sylar to start handling you idiots for me.

Hi. My name is Claire Bennet. There is one person that calls me Clairebear and he is not you. Yes, I can really heal from most any injury and no, you can't see it for yourself. No, I don't know how many times I've died and, again, you can't see it for yourself. I also don't feel pain and, once more just so we're clear, you can't see if that's true either.

Nathan and Meredith are both actually dead. Thanks for reminding me. My parents aren't getting back together. Thanks for bringing that up, too.

I'm not going to apologize for jumping off that Ferris Wheel and I don't have to explain to you why I did it. Just like I'm not going to dye my hair brown and start hunting down people with abilities.

Now, let's see if I can explain a few things to you sickos out there. Peter? Is my uncle. We're related. We aren't secretly in love. I am also not going to get involved with: my dad, my bio-dad, my brother, either of my grandparents, Elle, Claude, René, Hiro, Ando, Mohinder, Matt, any members of the Sullivan Brothers Carnival, Eric Doyle, someone named Adam, or Sylar. Or anyone else that I might know from back home that you think I'd be perfect with. I'm not explaining my friendship with Gretchen to you and I'm not going to hook back up with West, Alex, or any of the above in any sort of combination.

And if one more person asks me if Sylar can cut off the top of my head so you can poke around inside my brain too, I'm going to let him try it out on you first and see how you like it.

Wow. To think my life actually gets more messed up. Didn't even think that was possible.

This must be some kind of a mistake.

You know, it's stopped raining, but I still feel like a drowned rat.

Huh. This is new.

I would suggest you send me back... home... back immediately.