Repose

[Santa isn't sure Art drives, and two cars show up in front of Art's home on the evening of the 23rd. One is cute and black and convertible, and if Art indicates that he can maneuver on his own he is handed the keys to the BMW, along with GPS that will lead him into the Capital and his first stop for the evening. If Art indicates he does not drive, then he will be driven into the Capital in style and by a very well-dressed chauffeur who plays opera for the duration of the journey.

Choose your own adventure, Art Cleary.]

If you could have anything in the world, what would it be?

Consider this a friendly reminder from your neighborhood public accountant: the end of the fiscal year approaches, and it’s never too soon to begin preparations. Promptness is rewarded, in my case, with discounted rates.

Whilst I realize it is perilously close to curfew, if one brave soul in the neighborhood is willing to risk rabid raccoons and lend a cup of sugar, myself and this pie would be terribly grateful.

[Little notices in serif type and with precisely-cut hang tabs printed with contact information go up at the local cafes, the general store, wherever a public bulletin board is to be found.  Copy is as follows: "Certified public accountant and tax advisor for hire, available for auditing services and offering tax compliance and planning advice for owner managed businesses, estates, and personal accounts.  Extensive legal, litigation, and financial background.  Reliable and discreet.  Contact Art by telephone at 555-XXXX or through the on-line forums."

This copy is also posted publicly to the forums, with an additional note:]

And yes, I also prepare tax returns.  'Tis the season.  Leave inquires on the ansaphone only at your own peril.