nishka//loki (nishka) wrote in repose, @ 2018-04-16 15:38:00 |
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Entry tags: | *log, aiden baptiste, atticus mcvickers, nishka bariss |
Log: Nish & Atticus & Aiden
Who: Nishka and Atticus (& Aiden)
What: Closure
Where: B&B
When: Recently
Her head still wasn't right since the book event. Images flitting behind her eyelids when she blinked, when she slept. The dark forest, the campfire, the flash of daggers, the sensation of hot thick blood on her hands. Occasionally it would turn her stomach, when she let those images get too vivid, but it seemed to be getting easier now.
And of course, Loki thought she was just being dramatic.
’It’s really not that bad,’ he chided when she caught herself dwelling on it again. ’It was self-defence. You had no choice. And besides, it wasn’t even real…’
’It felt real,’ she mused, pulling the car up in front of the B&B and turning off the engine. ’I wanted revenge for James’ death…well, I got it.’ The whole experience had taught her a lesson about her quest. That maybe what she wanted wasn’t what she wanted. Maybe it was what Loki wanted. Maybe what she wanted was just to end it. Closure.
’It wasn’t real,’ he insisted, ire rising in his voice like it always did. ’Sigyn’s killers are out there somewhere. Free. We have to –‘
“Stop,” she said aloud, silencing him in her head, a frown creasing her forehead. “Loki, I’m…tired. My heart hurts. I can’t do this anymore. And…” she glanced into the passenger seat, and thought she’d seen a flicker of movement, and then nothing. “He’s tired too.”
She didn’t give Loki a chance to reply, instead opening the door of her car and slamming it behind her like a period on the sentence. She knew he wasn’t done, and he’d bring it up again later, but for now he held his peace.
It felt like just yesterday she was staying here, and yet at the same time she felt a little like an interloper wandering the halls of the B&B, now that she wasn’t a guest here. But she walked with purpose through the halls, finding the door to the study she’d stumbled on her first night here, knocking softly on the door and trying not to really see the flicker of movement in the corner of her eye, though being comforted by it at the same time. She shivered and wrapped her arms around herself.