Dietre Henrich Abendroth (sonataind) wrote in repose, @ 2018-01-25 21:38:00 |
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Entry tags: | *log, dietre abendroth, nilus doe |
Who: Dietre Abendroth and Nilus/Zeke/John Doe.
What: A belated birthday gift.
Where: The carnival.
When: Early evening.
Warnings/Rating: Low.
Nilus kept a short leash on the puppy as they trekked through the carnival grounds toward the burlesque tent. She was a rambunctious little thing, big paws and an even bigger heart. She was a rescue from a bin marked ‘free puppies, leave the trash can, thanks’. She was the last of them. One ear was up and alert, and the other was down, presumably listening for the angel behind her. They’d grown attached to one another, but he had a cat at home and it was small enough as it is. No, this was Dietre’s gift.
He had her for another few weeks.
He stopped just outside the employee’s entrance. The show hadn’t started yet and Nilus wanted D to meet his new companion. He’d missed his birthday and he felt terrible about it. He took a seat on the stairs, patting the spot next to him, but the pup had different ideas. She hopped right into his lap and made herself comfortable.
Her head tipped back to look at him, and he placed a kiss atop her nose. Dogs may have been man’s best friend, but angels knew what they were thinking. She adored him, her tail wagging excitedly as she flopped over into his lap, rolling around until she was satisfied that he was covered in fur.
It wouldn’t be long now, he thought, checking that internal clock for the time.
If Dietre had not been so preoccupied by other thoughts he would have been beside himself wondering what John’s gift might be. Whenever he tried to distract himself with the hints he had been given about it being alive, another wave of guilt and anxiety would wash over him and he’d forget he even had a present on the way. Misha’s advice, John’s resigned acceptance, and Liam’s ambiguous possible flirting just went around and around in his head. Dietre was sure that he would somehow hurt everyone to the point that none of them would want anything to do with him, John’s promises of friendship no matter what notwithstanding.
He looked more down and weary than usual as he made his way to work his shift. His eyes were deeply shadowed, gaze downcast, brow furrowed in an expression of quiet misery. He wasn’t paying attention as he walked, his body followed the path through muscle memory. It was only when he was within a few paces of the stairs where Nilus sat that he was drawn out of his fog by the vague awareness that something was in his way.
The angel was noticed first, both guilt and longing flaring in Dietre’s eyes at the sight of him. Before he could offer a greeting, his gaze landed on the bundle of fur sprawled on the man’s llap. The effect the puppy had on D was immediate. The boy uttered a breathless, inarticulate sound of surprise and joy, dropping to his knees before it with no thought given the winter mud that was sure to get all over his pants.
“John…!” Dietre finally managed to gasp. “Is it-- Is it for me?” He had begun to reach for the pup, but hesitated, looking up at the angel with saucer eyes.
Back to John. Nilus responded to the name in kind, his eyes turning up to meet Dietre’s. His expression was unreadable and his heart was caught in his throat. He couldn’t blame him, he had no claim on the young man. Nor could he be angry. The angel couldn’t definitively say what he wanted either, but he could offer his friendship- and this sweet pup.
“For you,” he explained, letting the excitable German shepherd scramble out of his lap and toward the new person. She hadn’t met many new people and she was friendly, fiercely loyal. A good protector. He unclipped the leash from her collar and let her fly at Dietre. She was barking, twisting, turning and putting her muddy paws everywhere. She looked back and forth between the two of them, and Nilus urged her forward with a simple thought.
“I will take care of her until you’ve a home, then she’s yours. You’re welcome to visit,” Nilus wound the leash up neatly. It wasn’t necessary. She stuck by him like glue, it was just a law. “I keep a key in the garden under the ornamental kale. Or just knock. I’ll probably be home.”
“Happy birthday,” Nilus added, using the railing by the stairs to stand. His wings folded neatly behind his back to avoid the dirt. He was underdressed for the weather, but he didn’t feel the nip in the air. He had no shoes, but thankfully a pair of jeans and another one of those sweaters he loved so much.
Dietre might not know what love was when it came to other people, but the moment he buried his fingers in the puppy’s short fur and felt the cold wet press of her nose on his cheek, Cupid shot an arrow through his heart. He was absolutely in love.
“Hello… Hello, little darling,” he murmured gently, reverting to his native tongue. The puppy was such a squirmy thing, it couldn’t seem to hold still. Her antics brought a soft smile to Dietre’s face, one that remained though his eyes had begun to glisten.
Choked up, he didn’t know how to properly express his gratitude. “Thank you so much… She’s wonderful.” He lifted his gaze back to Nilus, looking sad and happy all at once. “I’ve always wanted a dog, but my father wouldn’t allow it… Did you know?” He thought the angel must have, if he had known about Liam this whole time. Dietre could only wonder at such a power.
“Dogs love you if you are good to them,” he mused, half to himself. That guilt was back, and with it a bit of self deprecation. “That’s a thing I think I could manage, for once… Being good to a dog…”
“Man’s best friend,” the angel smiled, it almost passed as delight as he watched the human and his new companion. She’d taken an instant liking to him, and perhaps had forgotten Nilus altogether. Her thoughts were pure bliss as this new human doted on her, she was something special. “You’re welcome.”
He was glad to hear that Dietre could manage taking care of a pup. Hopefully it would give him something to focus on, bring him out of his shell. Nilus crouched down next to them, his wings held high above to avoid the dirt, stretching overhead and blocking out the last vestiges of the sun’s rays. She didn’t bother turning to him, and that was a good thing. She didn’t belong to him.
Nilus would let them get better acquainted. “I’ll be back momentarily,” he was gone in the blink of an eye, one single feather floating down into the mud. The pup trampled it in her excitement.
Dietre’s heart sunk at the angel’s sudden disappearance, but he didn’t blame him. He expected things to be awkward between them, he just hoped that he would be able to figure himself out before the damage was irreversible.
Luckily, his new ward refused to let him mope. It was impossible to be unhappy with a puppy jumping all over you in eager excitement. Dietre couldn’t look down at that wagging tail and lolling tongue and not feel cheered up. A pet was just what he needed. Having the puppy to look forward to quelled much of his fears about living on his own. He lifted the pup, pressing his cheek against her fur, whispering a promise in German, “I’ll take care of you. You’ll want for nothing. I’ll give you everything…”
As promised, the angel did return. As quietly as he’d left. All of his available time was spent hunting for a job. They all wanted experience. Nilus had nothing of the sort. He’d been in the army, two, in fact. But without that resume he wasn’t going anywhere.
“When you look at me, what sort of job do you think I could do?”
It was an odd question, but he was full of them. He tilted his head, “if you didn’t know me. What would be your first impression?” He would start there. A hobby was something to be done on the side, not paid to do. He wanted something that he could learn from. He needed those social skills if he were to survive in the world.
He was happy to see Dietre bonding with the pup and with his return, she had escaped him to put her muddy paws all over the angel. He didn’t seem to mind in the least.
Focused on the puppy, Dietre was surprised to hear Nilus’ voice. He didn’t think he’d be back so soon, in fact, he was sure that the angel had left to avoid being near him for any length of time. He blinked in confusion and stared at the angel as his puppy squirmed out of his arms to celebrate her original caretaker’s return.
“I-- Um…” Dietre flushed. His first impression was Nilus’ beauty, but he certainly wasn’t going to confess to that. “You know I am not very good with people, I don’t think I’m the best person to ask…”
“But I think you could do anything, couldn’t you?” He got to his feet, distractedly brushing the dirt at his knees as he moved take a seat on the stairs. “You don’t want to paint?”
“No,” he scooped the puppy into his arms, getting to his feet. He scratched behind her ears and along the fur on her chest as he cradled her. She calmed considerably in his presence. “It’s something I love doing, something I’m good at. I want experience.”
He settled next to him on the steps, the puppy was sound asleep by the time he got there. He kissed her nose and buried his face into her fur for a moment. He didn’t want to admit that he was going to miss her when she left his side, but Dietre needed that companionship more than he did.
“I’ll keep searching,” his lips twisted into a genuine smile As he returned the puppy to her rightful owner. “Freedom is around the corner, what do you plan on doing with yourself?”
Dietre carefully took the puppy from Nilus, holding her tenderly so as to not wake her. He couldn’t recall ever seeing anything so cute.
“Hm… I had no plans,” he confessed, a little ashamed. “Other than to continue to work, and perhaps starting reading more.” It was difficult to have personal possessions at Quiet Home. Though his new house was very small, he’d now have room to make a little library for himself.
“But now I will have her to look after.” D’s rare smile returned as he watched the puppy sleep. “I’ll train her, and take her for walks. I’ll have to take her for a lot of them, the house won’t have enough room for her before long.”
He grew quiet and thoughtful. He hated to be so unhelpful when Nilus needed him, but an idea slowly came into his head. “There’s a man… Cris Martin. He owns an art supplies shop, I talk to him occasionally on the forums.” He canted his head at the angel, looking for a sign of interest. “He offered me a job once, before I auditioned for the carnival. He’s a very kind man. Would you like me to ask him if he could help you?”
Cris Martin. The name sounded familiar. Or rather, art supply was ringing bells. Someone had offered him free supplies. He wondered if they were thinking of the same person...
In that case, Nilus shook his head. He could contact the art supply store. He suspected the owners were more than they seemed but he never looked into it. He sat a respectable distance from Dietre, his wings folded neatly behind his back as he observed him. “No, I can manage. I only ask because I trust you’d tell me the truth. I don’t have the necessary skills for a lot of jobs. I can sit still for long periods of time, perhaps that’s a selling point.”
A joke, of course. He had a lot more going for him.
“She’s very particular about what she likes to eat,” albeit a little spoiled. She still needed a bottle when he found her. “And she’s getting her teeth in. She bites, it hurts.”
“It could be a selling point if you sat for portraits…” The only other artist Dietre knew was Oliver, but the young man did not strike him as someone with the means to pay for a full time model. Cris might know of someone else, however, and though Nilus told him not to ask for his help, Dietre had decided to anyway. D had not met Cris’ wife, but the couple seemed to be very good people. Hadn’t they also given Oliver a place to stay?
The angel’s warnings did not deter him from the task of caring for the puppy. “I’ll be sure to feed her whatever she likes,” Dietre vowed. “And I don’t mind if she bites me, she’ll learn not to. I’m going to train her.” He had no experience with training an animal, but like a child who’s found a stray, he was convinced he would be able to handle it. He’d have to get books on the subject, and as eager as he was to leave Quiet Home, he felt lucky that he would have a few weeks to study before the puppy was completely in his hands.
“...What should I name her?” He stroked the sleeping pups fur thoughtfully. “A good German name. What do you think?” He glanced at the angel, looking ten times more alive and healthy than he had when he had first approached the tent.
Nilus wasn’t creative with names, all of his names had been bestowed upon him. Gifts. He had a black cat at home named just that- cat. He was wracking his brain for German names. “Liese, beloved of God. Leni, little angel?” His brow rose a fraction as he watched the two together, he’d made a good choice. He could feel that Dietre had gotten marginally happier as he held the pup.
He dipped his head, his hands folded in his lap. He wasn’t purposefully trying to stay away from D. He was giving him space, hoping that his presence would eventually be forgotten. He wasn’t made for love, he lived too long, and he knew too much. He didn’t have much longer before he had to be at the piano. The angel held up the leash for him, “When you’re ready. Let me know if you need anything.”
He was always a prayer away.
He’d put out a line and see if anyone would take the bait. He had no work experience, and no real skills beyond painting. He rose from the stairs, folding his arms over his chest. A passer-by smiled at him and he returned it in kind. She was probably flirting with him, but he didn’t notice.
Dietre bit his lip, eyes narrow as he considered each suggested name. They were both pretty names, but it felt too soon to decide. Maybe it would be best to get to know the puppy a little more and then perhaps her personality would inspire him. “I have a few more weeks to think about it. I want it to be perfect.” He bent slightly toward the pup, addressing her softly in German, “Don’t worry, by the time I have you home with me, you’ll have a name…”
He did not want to have to leave her so soon, but before long the other performers would be arriving and the show would start. “I should let you take her back with you,” he said reluctantly. “I don’t think the noise inside the tent would be good for her.” The burlesque show could get a bit raucous, so many people in costumes and a sea of strangers whistling and catcalling, it might frighten her.
The puppy was gently nudged awake and out of Dietre’s lap with a kiss pressed between her ears before he stood. Now was the moment where he felt he should throw his arms around John’s shoulders and kiss him to show his thanks, but he sensed that new, budding distance and found he was afraid to be affectionate. It would hurt too much to see Nilus recoil. It might have been the right thing to do, but Dietre was already regretting coming clean about Liam. What if he had jumped the gun? He still didn’t know if Liam actually liked him, he was so inexperienced with friendship that he might have imagined something else between them.
Instead of a hug or a kiss, Dietre shyly reached out and touched the angel’s wrist. “She’s the best gift I’ve ever gotten. Thank you, truly…”
Nilus appreciated the gesture, and his heart broke because of it. Had no one ever given him a gift like this before? His name was a gift from the people, eyes as blue as the Nile. He didn’t want to confuse Dietre any further, he was still trying to figure out his life- and if he found a nice human to settle with, he was happy for him. Nilus didn’t age, and he didn’t feel the way everyone else could. He loved, but he loved as a whole. He craved being close, but not when he had to watch someone die again.
“You’re very welcome, Dietre. I know you’ll take good care of her. You have a kind soul when you aren’t worrying and you have a beautiful smile. Anyone would be lucky to have you,” he reached out for the puppy, gently taking her into his arms as not to wake her. He’d take her with him when he went on that hike with the ranger.
‘Anyone would be lucky to have you.’ Dietre felt the distance between them widen. Did Nilus mean anyone but him? Had he already given up on the possibility of love between them?
D pressed his lips together in a thin line, not trusting himself to speak. He did want to get emotional. Averting his gaze, he nodded acknowledgement of the angel’s praise. It was easier to look at the puppy rather than John, the sight of her gave Dietre a sense of hope. He gave her one last loving pet, murmuring, “I’ll visit her whenever I can…”
“...Goodnight, John.” He turned away then and slunk into the tent, ashamed and guilt ridden, unable to shake the feeling that his desperate hunger for love had chased away what might have been his only chance.