InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "DO YOU LIKE UPSIDE DOWN"

Damian is son & (heir) wrote in repose,
@ 2018-01-21 05:33:00

Entry tags:

*forum, *text, abe winters, beau williams, cat dubrovna, damian wainright, daniel webster, dietre abendroth, misha bellamy, nilus doe, ra's algol, sadie marella, sasha james

Dietre A+Nilus, Daniel W, Carnival, Naila a-K, Cat C, FLEET: Misha B
[Locked to Dietre A+Nilus]
The lawyers have told me you ought be out by the middle of next month.

[Locked to Daniel W]
Hello.

[Carnival lock: Abe W, Sasha J, Beau W, Dietre A, Misha B, Sadie M]
Greet Sadie. She is now your coworker.

[Locked to Naila a-K]
[In Arabic.] Greetings.

[Locked to Cat C]
I failed.

[FLEET: Misha B]
[Sent to Misha is a fifteen second long video of Pennyworth, shot from overhead, as the kitten sleeps in Damian's hood—as he is wearing his hoodie.]

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

	Re: [Fleet] tithe 2018-01-23 04:26 am UTC (link)
	[He ain't sure:] `To take control? I meant for them, not for the folk left behind.` (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Fleet] heir 2018-01-23 04:51 am UTC (link)
	`No. I do not know. Oh. Do you believe he is cognizant of this? It is possible too your priorities change when you are dead.` (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Fleet] tithe 2018-01-23 05:41 am UTC (link)
	`You don't want to commit? I didn't mean literal neither. I ain't sure I can explain it, but it makes me sad for the person gone and forgot is all.` (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Fleet] heir 2018-01-23 05:53 am UTC (link)
	`I just do not know. Perhaps Grandfather is right about me, that I am a thing, not someone meant to truly decide his own fate. When faced with a choice, I falter. Oh. I see. I understand. But that is death. It is sad, but we are all forgotten in the end.` (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: [Fleet]
tithe
2018-01-23 05:58 am UTC (link)

Your grandaddy ain't right. He's never been right bout you. And not wanting to close doors, specially on kin, is normal, Dami. It's part of growing, and it would be real strange if you weren't conflicted. If my foster daddy was alive and standing fore me, I'd be torn bout what to do. That ain't so. Not while someone lives that loved us. After, alright, after we're forgot, but this ain't that. This is forgetting while you're still breathing.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Fleet] heir 2018-01-23 06:03 am UTC (link)
	`Really? I would kill him. Yes. It is extreme. I do not know that I could make that choice, even out of pain. I thought perhaps you would ask me what I told Nilus of my perspective, but you are distracted, I think.` (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Fleet] tithe 2018-01-23 06:22 am UTC (link)
	`You reckon I don't want to do away with your kin real awful? I do. You wouldn't forget me? We're talking bout mortality and Alyssa and you dying, and that's real distracting, thinking on you passing and talking bout your kin makes me think on it more, specially when I'm already feeling awful some. I'm real sorry, ahuvi. What'd you say your perspective was?` (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Fleet] heir 2018-01-23 06:49 am UTC (link)
	`I know you do, but I am an assassin. You are an angel. In this case, I believe I am more likely to be lethal. I would not forget you. Not ever.`[...] `No, I did not mean you had to ask. You feel awful, because of these topics?` (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Fleet] tithe 2018-01-23 07:12 am UTC (link)
	`But the wanting's there all the same. That's my point. Even if I was gone and it wasn't practical, remembering? I'm asking on account of wanting to know. Tell me? I'll tell you bout feeling awful if you do.` (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Fleet] heir 2018-01-23 07:19 am UTC (link)
	`I know. And I trust your judgement. I know you are right. I know there is no reason` [...] `It should not be a difficult choice. Yes, even then. Would you me? I suppose that is the more likely scenario.` [He screenshots the conversation, down to the most recent comment.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: [Fleet]
tithe
2018-01-23 07:32 am UTC (link)

And it shouldn't be a difficult choice if my daddy were standing in front of me, but it would be. I wouldn't want to be without you, and I ain't sure I could be, but I wouldn't want to forget. I just told Nilus that. I know you'll pass fore I do, less I Fall deliberate.

[A delay as he reads.]

You're real articulate and real good with him. You really think them things, bout us?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Fleet] heir 2018-01-23 07:35 am UTC (link)
	`Yes.` [...] `Is it about approval? Continuing to seek approval from these once-parental figures? I will not make you discuss my mortality. You have already mentioned feeling awful and it not helping. I do.`[...] `What do you think? What would your answer be?` (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: [Fleet]
tithe
2018-01-23 07:42 am UTC (link)

I reckon. When we're small, all we want is their affection and approval, and I hope most children get it just as part of living. We didn't, and so I reckon we're still seeking it. I don't want you dying. Nilus says he talked to the boy who died, and the boy told him he'd wait for him and asked him not to date Dietre. What would my answer be if asked my thoughts on love? I reckon loving is caring bout someone else more than yourself, which I do bout you, and trusting you do the same for me. I think you make me stronger and better able to deal with things, and I know I don't always manage to do that for you, but I try. I don't reckon it's weakness. I reckon it's strength. It's knowing there's someone there to help you up when you fall, and knowing you ain't alone when bad or good happens. Too, it's wanting to see you thrive and smile and laugh. It's wanting you to be happy, and it's wanting to see it. And it ain't perfect. Dietre asks after it being perfect, and could be once I believed it was, but I reckon it's flawed just like every other beautiful thing bout humanity it. Heaven's perfect, and it ain't anywhere near as beautiful as messy, flawed loving. Too, I reckon attraction comes with it, and I can't think real well when you're round me.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Fleet] heir 2018-01-23 07:50 am UTC (link)
	`I do not want to. It feels pathetic. The ghost? So he is cognizant. I wonder what he will do. I will, of course, attempt to remain alive. Misha, you idiot boy, you do manage it, shut up. And I think perfectly, no matter where you are in relation to me.` (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: [Fleet]
tithe
2018-01-23 07:52 am UTC (link)

I don't reckon it'll be forever, Dami. I ain't sure, but Dietre wants to be loved by both him and Liam, and you ain't wrong that he's not real concerned with loving them back. He says he wants to love Nilus, on account of Nilus says he can love him. I ain't sure bout this Liam any. And thanks for being so willing to remain living. You ain't meant to call me an idiot when I'm spilling romantic thoughts all over you.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: [Fleet]
heir
2018-01-23 07:56 am UTC (link)

Why not? Dietre wants to be loved by any who might have him. I do not think you would be discounted, had you shown interest. Which means it is not about Liam or Dietre or any of them, which is in direct contrast to what you have just explained, about love being for another. Then do not be an idiot whilst spilling romantic thoughts all over me. Tell me now why you feel awfully.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: [Fleet]
tithe
2018-01-23 08:04 am UTC (link)

I reckon time passes and we got each other, and maybe all that needing won't be as strong as it was. It comes from being alone, I reckon, and we ain't no more. I know. I told him that a whole lot, but I don't reckon he understands me. [He sends this conversation.]

You can't call my honesty idiotic. It ain't done.

[There's a pause some.]

It ain't bout me feeling awful really. If I tell you something, you got to not take it personal and reckon it's criticism. It's just me saying what I need, like I want you to say what you need if I ain't getting it right. You ken?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Fleet] heir 2018-01-23 08:17 am UTC (link)
	`To want another's approval—you know what I am going to say, so I will not bother.`[After reading.]`No. I do not reckon he does. It is done when it is idiotic. You do see Dietre is espousing some views you have. About not being good for another and such. You told him to allow them to decide. So I will decide.`[.....] `Okay. I ken.` (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: [Fleet]
tithe
2018-01-23 08:22 am UTC (link)

I don't know. You say what you're thinking. I keep thinking he can go from wanting to be loved to loving. Children do, and he's still sussing things out like a child. Hush. You said things I did wrong, and them things are what I'm referencing. I'm allowed to do that. But I ain't rushing off on account, am I? That's letting you decide.

[There's a pause here.]

I ain't even sure how to say it without sounding real pathetic and maybe some like Dietre. Asking for things ain't easy.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Fleet] heir 2018-01-23 08:23 am UTC (link)
	`Ask me.` (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Fleet] tithe 2018-01-23 08:32 am UTC (link)
	`I was upset a whole lot bout the encounter in the cafe, and I know you and me are different and we don't always need the same things, but I know you get real frustrated with me for not answering straight. Usually, when that happens, it means I'm upset, and if you just show some affection some it'll be easier for me, and you'll get better answers, I reckon.` (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Fleet] heir 2018-01-23 08:33 am UTC (link)
	`Okay. I am sorry. What do you mean, affection?` (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Fleet] tithe 2018-01-23 08:37 am UTC (link)
	`You ain't got to apologize. There ain't no way for you to know. I don't know, just kind words or a hug could be. I know that sounds real weak likely.` (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Fleet] heir 2018-01-23 08:43 am UTC (link)
	[...] `No, Misha. I am glad you have told me. Do you require a hug now?` (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Fleet] tithe 2018-01-23 08:50 am UTC (link)
	[He's rubbing his face and red as cherries, and he's real glad Damian can't see.] `That sounds awful needy. I'm just saying for next time, could be you'd be aggravated with me less.` (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)