Burden knows that in life, one must (tithe) wrote in repose,
Re: In-person: Misha B/Damian W
You're wrong now. [It was slow and sluggish and paired with a real sad smile. He glanced down at the skimming and smoothing of skirt, and then he looked back up.] It's okay. [He closed them spitty fingers over Damian's hand 'gainst knee.] Touching me's okay. It ain't going to hurt anything. You can't never hurt nothing by touching me. [Misha, he was affectionate easy, but he knew Damian wasn't never the instigator, not like this. Damian, he'd curl up like a cat, but this wasn't that kind of affection, and Misha cupped Damian's cheek and let his fingers trail slow 'long the side of the boy's neck real reassuring.] It's okay.
[Misha didn't think he was letting anyone off any hook. He wasn't without sin, and he wasn't 'bout to cast stones.] You stumbled, but you got yourself back up. Getting back up is the opposite of failing. [He wasn't surprised, neither, that a version of Damian he conjured would go get himself drugs and refuse to hand them over.] I won't never take nothing you don't want me to take. [But his expression, it was plenty sad.] But you can't make me not feel guilty. I did this. It's my doing. You'll say you have your will and you do what you please, and I can't take credit for what you do, but I made you want it by doing what I did. That means I got to take my part of the blame. [He shook his head slow, his fingers slipping to Damian's shoulder and resting there. He looked at them, at his fingers 'gainst fabric.] I think we got to take responsibility for what we do to each other, or then we just hurt each other without intending to. I know that requires thinking 'bout things 'fore we do them, 'bout the other person and what affects them, but I didn't do that good this time.
[He looked up when Damian said he was back.] If you...? If you overdosed? [It was easier to say the word to a specter, but Misha's lower lip still trembled something awful.] I think of that all the time. I think of it every time I ain't handling things well as I could. [The tears that had been moistening his eyes fell in fat droplets to his cheeks, and he skimmed his hands down both of Damian's arms affectionately, rubbing warmth there if he could.] I ain't dumb, Dami. And I don't reckon anything can keep things away, but I ain't trying to hang myself off a rope right now, so I reckon the pills do something. I'm sitting here, imagining you 'stead. [He closed his eyes and sighed when Damian touched cheek to his, and he slid his arms 'round the boy's shoulders and hugged him tight as he could manage with how they were sitting.] I know you love me. I know you ain't going to stop. I know nothing I tell you's going to change that. But what we know 'bout each other, it changes how we see things. It ain't bad, but we can't unsee the seen, and I want to be strong for you. You got a hard 'nough battle to fight within yourself, and that's without thinking you can't lean heavily on me. [He rubbed his cheek 'gainst Damian's jaw.] And I'm learning I fall to pieces if I think too long on my past. Things are always too mad here for me to fall to pieces, and then I can't help you any.