You realize you have a thing for Serious Dudes™?
[FaceTime] [He answers. Well, it's almost him. Mostly it's the box. He has the iPhone in his hand, and he's standing a few feet away from the bed. The box, which is small and filthy, is sitting dead center on the mattress. His voice comes from offscreen.] What if it's the plague? Begone, my useless child, begone! [He imitates a cackle, and it does sound a lot like Webster.]