Re: Wandering: Hannah/Fiach
"I wish you were right," she said of it being alright if she was or wasn't morose. "People become uncomfortable. They drown or run or get sad, or they think they need to put melancholy in cotton until it can't be seen anymore, but I find it really, really hard to pretend. Pretending takes so much energy sometimes, and it's easier in the morning than at night," she admitted, and maybe that was a tangent and didn't make much sense, but nonsense things were as true sometimes as non-nonsense things.
He mentioned scars, and she thought of her own. She'd wondered, once she learned what she was, why Marcus hadn't asked she be created without her scars, but Marcus liked reminders. She knew there was a practical reason too, that she would realize she wasn't herself if the scars were suddenly gone, but she kind of thought it was mostly Marcus' sadism to blame. "I think I would still have the reminders without the scars," she finally said, but she understood what he was saying, and her cornflower eyes were dark and sad with comprehension.
But he wasn't wrong that there was clarity in fog, and she was listening closely when he said he'd died at a dinner party. She wasn't really sure if he meant he was dead-dead, but it wouldn't surprise her, not now, not anymore. "I'm sorry. Time is complicated, and people like to think it just moves forward. I think it's easier for them to understand that way. But I'm sorry you were thrown away and forgotten," she added honestly. "Once, I was standing in a room with everyone I loved, and with everyone who loved me, and I screamed and screamed and no one could see me, and no one could hear me. Being forgotten is hard." She didn't mind vanity or being spoiled, and she just gave him a soft and understanding smile.