Re: [call: holly & noah.]
That's not a good reason. [And he doesn't think it is. But, Noah's walking fast enough now, he's huffing too, and if he works hard, he might be able to get to Holly before the dude gets too far. After he crosses the highway, his plan is to follow the train tracks, 'til he gets to the road the B&B is on. Holly can maybe hobble a little along that, but there was no way Noah was letting him get as far as the tracks OR the highway.] It's—I looked it up. It seems like it's something that you do to yourself? But, he said I did it. Like, made him think what was real wasn't? They make you think of things inaccurately, like, thinking everything is either all good or all bad is one. But, I don't know. I was just trying to say that I thought he might—Wait. No. I didn't tell him he might get defensive. I said he might say I was being defensive. Because people say that stupid shit all the time and I'm just trying to talk. But, me saying he might think I was defensive was the cognitive distortion? [Noah sounds incredibly confused because he is incredibly confused. He grinds a palm into his eye.] I know it's not a big deal. It shouldn't be. I just wanted to tell him that no one threw him under the bus and he made it about me. He said he was getting sucking into serious bullshit. I said he wasn't and that I'd let him go because I was feeling messed up and he wouldn't let it drop. I don't know. I didn't mean to start a Thing. But, he acted like I—like I was doing something to him and that I was messing with him and trying to cause drama and manipulating him and it made me feel like I didn't know what was going on, and what if I was doing the thing he said I was? And—I don't know WHY people hate me so much recently. I can't say anything right and then they say it all happened differently than I think it did, and it's like my MOM. She would always say that shit. She'd make me feel crazy. She—she did it when she came to the apartment. She kept telling me I liked it and I didn't, and then I couldn't tell if I did or if I was giving off the vibe that I did? And maybe she—[He stops his rant to take a breath.] I don't know. Then I guess I just fucking tried to burn her trailer down. Why would I do that? I mean, that's on me. No one made me do that. I was feeling fucked up and I was thinking too much about it.