InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "You bought this...mansion."

Holly is (awry) wrote in repose,
@ 2019-12-03 03:09:00

Entry tags:

*other, holly nicodemo-webster, noah nicodemo-webster

[Portal/Gate: Holly, Noah]

[Immediately after this, Holly is called into his commanding officer's office. He's supposed to be going through some more endurance training that afternoon, followed by some standard endurance testing. The trip through the portal is scheduled for the 6th of January, at 0800 hrs, and he hasn't been told that's changing.

But is is changing. It has changed.

He sits in the office, across from his superior, and listens to the new timeline. Breathe. He tries not to freak, right? I mean, he tries really hard not to even think about it. He even hums in his head, because he knows Noah's gonna be back home losing it, and he's trying to minimize that as much as he can. Which, yeah, is probably minimal. And his commanding officer probably knows that he, that Holly, is freaking out over there, because two armed guards escort him back to gear up. And, I mean, he's as ready for this as he's ever going to be. He knows it's coming... knew it was coming, but he just thought he had more time.

He's sitting there, putting on something reminiscent of a hazmat suit reproducing with some astronaut gear, and he tries to keep the fear at bay by listing off all the stuff he has managed to accomplish: The bar has been deeded over to Noah, and his life insurance has been changed so Noah's the beneficiary. No, no, no. Noah has the place at the B&B, so Holly's not worried about the guy going back to his mom. Gramps, he should've left Gramps a note, but he was too busy thinking he had time and being upset Gramps disappeared how he did. He never got to see his mom, but maybe that's for the best, right? Losing someone twice would suck.

Somehow, at the end of all that mental addition, it seems so fucking insignificant. Panic. Such a waste, but he's dragging his heels, and he's pretty sure dragging his heels is going to make shit a million times worse in the long run. So, right. He finishes, and he's singing some stupid Christmas song in his head, because he reasons it'll make Noah chill? Soothe the guy, right? As if nothing's wrong.

He does that throughout the whole walk down to the basement, past so many fucking checkpoints he loses track, and to where they're tethering him to a chain, like any chain is going to help someone in there. Spike.

But he's armed, at least. The weapon in his hand is huge and it's not some standard issue gun, but he doesn't expect it to do much. Anyway, the ringing he always hears in his ears is louder right now, like this thing he can't tune out, and the men in the room, the ones hooking him up and monitoring things, they're starting to argue, but he's not really listening. Thump, thump, thump. He's staring, and then he's walking, and then they're barking orders at him.

Right. Right. Thumpthumpthump, faster. One foot in front of the other. He intends to keep doing the singing-in-his-head thing, but the entrance to the portal is gross and wet and he can't even explain how it stinks or how the air feels, and for a second he thinks he's going to burn up in that suit. So, right. Good intentions? But, as he steps into the snowy darkness on the other side? He slips up on the singing and the chill that probably doesn't actually slip further than skin level. It's cold, somehow, even with the suit, and he's tugging at it before he even realizes it. It's like he can't breathe inside the thing, and the ringing in his ears is insane in... whatever this place is. He's freaking, and he knows it, and the mental reach out is automatic? He's trying not to reach out, even as he pulls the helmet off the suit in some kind of suffocating fear. He thinks it's like paroxysmal undressing, and maybe this is his personal Dylatov, but then he laughs. Because, come on, that's fucking insane thinking. So, right. Not deliberate at all, but it's definitely there:] Noah?

[And in the room behind him, the operators? Yeah, all those guys? They're turning on each other with increasing anger and increasing force, but Holly's unaware of that too.]

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[Portal: Holly & Noah]

loud
2019-12-03 06:27 pm UTC (link)

It felt bad. Dude, it felt really bad. The knot in Noah's stomach wouldn't untangle, wouldn't loosen. It sat, as tight as a fist, and curdled in his stomach acid until he didn't know what else to do, besides pop some Tums and hope it helped. But, of course, it didn't help. The feeling of foreboding deepened like a shadow in an already dark room, black on black, until Noah excused himself from the front desk, from the skin-crawling flitter of flies around an old woman's head like a halo of rot, and went upstairs.

Part of him fr just hoped he was coming down with something. Another part tried to offer rationality. He got these feelings sometimes. Usually nothing happened. It didn't mean anything. And another part just knew, knew, knew something bad was coming. Noah tried to make himself throw-up, just to see if the feeling would ease, and instead, filtering through the dread, came Holly. Holly, who felt like his chest was too tight, who was trying to tell himself to breathe, who was being escorted by two dudes with guns toward something awful enough, even Noah's mind didn't want to touch it.—But, it did.

Away from the toilet bowl and up to his feet, Noah worked to think through the shared panic that seeped into him like ice in his veins. Holly was going through things as he dressed himself in a suit that felt suffocating even from here, and Noah tried to ignore that too, because how the fuck was he going to get there? That was his question. God, you know, he'd promised. He'd promised he wouldn't. If something happened, he'd be good and he'd stay safe. But, now that he was faced with the reality of, like, whatever the FUCK this was? He knew he couldn't keep the promise. He wouldn't.

He was tying his shoes as Holly was passed through checkpoints. He was in the car when the chain was placed around his husband like a leash. No. Like a fishing line, and he was the bait.—Noah's hands shook on the steering wheel. His heart was busy trying to beat its way out from behind his ribcage, pumping, no doubt, in time with Holly's. By the time he got on the road, with no clearer plan of action in his head than before, Holly was walking away from voices buzzing with anger and into the weeping wound of the world.

The sensation of slick, sticking wetness sliding over Noah was disgusting. Worse, almost, than the stench that filled his nose. Worse than the chill that crawled up his spine. His vision started to narrow and blacken around the edges, and the dude didn't even think about pulling over. He was holding onto himself by a thread, but he had to get to the fucking facility. He might've made it too. But, the moment—the
exact moment, Holly reached out to him, he veered tf off the road. It was like someone pouring something boiling directly into his fucking skull. He heard himself yell. He saw the ditch jump into his field of vision. He managed to jam his foot on the brake. His cheek glanced off of the steering wheel, but it didn't slow him down.

In his head, with all the fucking amplification he could muster, he responded: Holly, come back, come back, come back. You have to come back. It was only when Noah opened his eyes, seconds later, that he realized all of his windows had blown out at once.

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Re: [Portal: Holly & Noah]

awry
2019-12-03 08:37 pm UTC (link)

He knew what it would be like inside. Holly. Holly knew. Objectively. What was that falling? Snow? Laughter. Him, he was laughing. He'd seen the schematics, the readings the probes had taken, and he'd tried to make sense of them in his head. He was currently kicking himself for not pushing Dietre or Dietre's boyfriend for details, but that guy had survived, right? There was no reason he shouldn't survive too. Which was maybe a lot like bargaining, but it was also not his acceptance from a few minutes ago that dying was a'ok! He wasn't sure whether that was good or bad.

But the helmet thing? Totally not thought out. He held his breath once the thing was on the ground, littered yellow at the tips of yellow boots. His face was turning red, and he turned around and went for the gaping maw that was the seemingly-living gate... portal... whatever. Paninpanicpanic. He scrabbled at the opening with glove-covered hands, but it wouldn't give. Like the thing had swallowed him willingly and wasn't as willing to spit him back out again. Hurthurthurt. His chest ached, bursting, ache a bursting ache, and then he finally inhaaaaaaaaaaaaled. Sharp, hard, and bent over at the belly. His stomach turned over, splattering on those yellow boots, but he was breathing. Okay, okay, okay, breathing and not dead. He could hear them in his ear, asking him what he could see.

He could feel the slack chain keeping him effectively immobile, and then he heard Noah. Words on words, and it was loud somehow. Okay, yeah, and Holly looked up, as if it was overhead. But it wasn't exactly. It was that way. He glanced down at the chain again, at the insanely expensive blowtorch in his hand, and he burned the metal and walked toward the voice. The voice and the RINGING. Ringing which was getting louder and louder and louder.

Noah? Are you home? I'm gonna be late.

Chill, right? He tried to think it chill. Also loud, but chill as his feet squelched through the snow-ash, vine-eaten darkness. Coldcoooldcold. So fucking cold. Inside and out? Yeah, like that, like it was coming from inside. But he still moved. Maybe all that training hadn't been for nothing. Maybe. Maybe, maybe, fucking maybe. What was that? Pivot. No, keep walking. He kept walking.

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Re: [Portal: Holly & Noah]

loud
2019-12-04 03:06 am UTC (link)

The glass used in vehicle production was made so it wouldn't, like, shatter and pierce you. The rear window, the side ones, they were made to fall apart. Not into shards. Just into these little pebbles of glass. The windshield was just supposed to crack. It was cracked. Right now. Noah looked up, blood trickling down from a split on his cheekbone, bile drooling from his bottom lip, and saw a lightning bolt break sheeting through the windshield. The windows in the rest of the Jeep seemed to have blown outward, away from him, leaving some debris in the ditch and in the grass. Cold was rushing in, like water into an already-sinking ship, but Noah was freezing for a different reason altogether. Wherever Holly was was as cold as a crypt, and it was insinuating itself into him, making his teeth chatter. Or maybe that was just the adrenaline.

Noah didn't care about the windows. This far-off ringing was happening in the corner of his consciousness and it felt like he could only watch, sit back and just hold on, as Holly cut his lifeline. Noah shoved the Jeep into reverse and threw mud as he dragged himself out of the ditch in a squeal. The tires found the asphalt, latched on, and the Jeep was propelled forward again, wind whistling through it as loud as a whip-crack.—But, again, whatever. Noah knew the windows were him. The sudden uproar of alarms mingling with that mind-numbing buzz. He knew, if he kept screaming, mentally, he was going to do worse than that, so he worked to control his panic—and Holly's panic, as it wrestled inside of him, fighting to come out in a scream.

You have to get out of there. Listen to me. Focusing hard, Noah... tried to indicate where he was? It probably didn't work. Fine, okay. So, he searched. Through the morass of noise, unfiltered, he sought out Holly. It was like finding a candle in a snowstorm. Or maybe a candle in a house fire. Amid all the flames, there was only one he wanted. When he found him, his mind couldn't quite pin down where he was. He had a relative idea, but it was mixed up, like something turned on its head. And, fuck, did it give Noah a splitting headache. Noah pulled over before he fucking killed someone. His cheek was throbbing now and he put his palm over it as he closed his eyes and focused again. His mental voice was calmer this time. Coaxing, if tinny with fear. You need your helmet. That snow-ash stuff? Noah could feel it like a cloud in his lungs.

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Re: [Portal: Holly & Noah]

awry
2019-12-04 04:13 am UTC (link)

As far as Holly was concerned, the lifeline was useless, right? The gap behind him wasn't giving, and he didn't think for a minute that they were going to go nuts trying to extricate him. He was a loose end, and it would be in their best benefit to eek everything they could from him and then let him quietly disappear. So, yeah, he was hooked up to a million things, all of them sending back telemetry and data. There were cameras on that helmet he'd wrested off. And, unlike the machinery standing a few feet in front of him and dormant, he was still transmitting information. That stuff? Those machines? Were covered in vines and gunk, and it was as if the ground itself was trying to devour it, consume it somehow.

So, right, that was the basic situation. Holly thought moving was good. If he kept moving, it was good. And he was trying to breathe deeply, not hyperventilate, not let the bone-seep cold get to him. Thud, thud, thudthudthumpthud. He was supremely aware that Noah was right there, and that if he, Holly, lost it? Noah was going to lose it, and that was what kept him walking. It was that he didn't want Noah to be so fucked up he couldn't manage. And he did listen. Holly. He did. He was coughing at the time? So the comment about the snow-ash hit home hard. He didn't go back for the helmet, but he did reach up to where his suit met at the shoulder, and he tore. He wore multiple safety layers under the yellow suit fabric, and he tore hard enough to sever the sleeve and secure it around the bottom of his face, like some makeshift bandanna.

Spike, spike, no, calm. Calm. Calmcalmcalm. He breathed. Stopped and looked around. He couldn't hear anything from the town. He couldn't hear anything, except Noah was there, this constant presence under the ringing. Ringing that, at least, let Holly knew he was getting closer to the part of the woods where he'd arrived in town both fucking times he'd come here. But he could feel the guy. Not like a voice? Like something more. So, right. Calmer. Calmer. Breathebreathe. And it was fucking cold. And it felt... devoid. It's so cold down here. Can you see? He was looking around. It's like a mirror. A fucked up, dead, quiet, snowy mirror. Like Silent Hill. Noah, it's fucking Silent Hill. Which, of course, came with all the visuals Holly associated with Silent Hill, all the fear and gore and horror. Fuck, fuck, no stop thinking about that. Stop..

Cue more Christmas songs.

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Re: [Portal: Holly & Noah]

loud
2019-12-06 06:10 am UTC (link)

Holly wouldn't quietly disappear. He was married. You'd think the facility military dudes would think about that, that he had ties and tethers and people for whom he wasn't a loose end. Sure, they could say it was an accident, whatever. Like they did to Bea. But, Noah wouldn't be quiet about it. Fuck that. He wasn't quiet now. Obviously. The entire town had erupted in car alarms and the ping of glass as it fractured and fell, and that was with him trying, now, to bring it all down, pull it all back in. Even now, as he did reach out for Holly, it was like digging underground for him. It wasn't the void of the night on the train, but he felt far away, and Noah didn't like that.

He wasn't worried about losing it. Or, well, he was? Because Holly was. But, he himself didn't think he was worried about losing it. He was focusing so hard rn, he could feel a vein beating his pulse at his temple. He watched/felt/etc. as Holly wrapped some suit fabric around his face, and Noah tried not to wince at the idea of weakening the protection around the other dude's body. The place he was? Wherever and whatever it was. Was bad. It felt..., like, malicious. And Noah had no doubt, that if there was some place it could slip into and infect, it would.—Getting Holly out had to be the priority though. So, Noah shoved all the eventualities aside.

He got himself back on the road as Holly walked. Having a vague sense of where the dude was, Noah tore down Ivy toward Central, to make his way north of town. It was hard. It was hard to focus on two realities at once, like a bad version of playing split-screen, only it was split-experience, and Noah squeezed the wheel hard to keep himself grounded. Cold was settling into him. He turned the heat up as Holly looked around his little nightmare world. It's not. The thought was forceful. It rode roughshod over the Christmas songs in its insistence. If he could, Noah tried almost to blot out the thoughts, to turn Holly's mind away from the clotted cruor and terror of the video game. It was, he imagined, what it felt like to try to bend steel with your bare hands. Talk to me, babe. Think about me. Keep walking.

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Re: [Portal: Holly & Noah]

awry
2019-12-06 06:28 am UTC (link)

Holly was pretty sure that the military viewed Noah in the same way they'd viewed Bea: As young, without resources, and able to be bought off fairly cheaply. Not that he was thinking about that right now, because he'd kind of accepted that as a given ages ago. He didn't hold the cards in this entire military situation, and all the Reddit posts in the world hadn't helped him glean an out from his current situation. Which led him here, and there had been a plan, right? There had been some kind of plan to not walk as far into this place as he was right now, but that was so forgotten. It wasn't that he was running madly or anything, and he wasn't active subsumed by panic panicpanicpanic. But standing still just wasn't going to happen. So, right. Movefastergomove.

He didn't run. He knew that running would be noisy and draw attention, and, look, he wasn't sure what was in here; they'd never told him that. But he knew they hadn't armed him because it was going to be some kind of fucking party in here, right? So, he kept moving. And he had no idea what Noah was up to, but he knew Noah was up to something, right? You never listen, you know that? We had a rule, right? For if something like this happened. And chastising Noah? Helped. It was a focus. Something to cut through the cold he, Holly, could feel down to his fucking bones, and the suffocating feel of yellow fabric over his mouth and nose.

Keep walking. Rightwalkrightrightwhatwasthat? A sound. Left, a sound to the left. Something big? Okay. Faster. Still quiet though. Where am I walking to? Any clue? Because the way in isn't going to work, and I'm pretty sure they'd shove me back in or shoot me, so, right. And the ringing was insanely loud. Crazy, crazy, crazy loud. It's so loud. Though he didn't specify what was loud, but maybe he didn't need to. It sounds like when I got here. God, it did, and he wasn't sure what was worse, right? The pain in his head or the cold in his body. Hey, humor a guy and tell him how much you'd miss him. Which was selfish as fuck, but, whatever.

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Re: [Portal: Holly & Noah]

loud
2019-12-06 09:21 am UTC (link)

Noah knew more than Bea had. His trusty little ability or whatever meant he knew the stuff they didn't want him to know. Now, they could just take him and fuck him up too. But, ...look, if Noah could blow out windows, maybe he could do more? He was kind of thinking about that. He knew he'd affected a larger area than just himself, bc he'd felt the rise in alarm around him. But, that was all stuff he was kind of back-burner-ing and that could be thought about later, if need be. And if need not be? Then he could ignore it. For now, he was with Holly, moving through a world that was like something even the other dude's scary videos couldn't come up with. It was... wrong. Noah had gotten flashes of it. From Aleksi. Which reminded him of the tree, right? The tree or whatever the dude had come out of.

The things shambling in the dark were there. Noah could feel their presence, even if he got nothing from them by way of, like, thoughts or anything like that. It was like, sometimes he just knew where things were, even if they weren't... people. So. Yeah, no, he felt them. But, he was distracted as he was chided mentally. It washed over him, familiar, like a match held up to an iceberg. But, a little warmth was a little warmth and he took it. I'm not leaving you down there. Noah turned right onto Central, taking the corner fast, his eyes never even having seen him fly past the trailer park.

He almost warned Holly of whatever was approaching, but he couldn't. He didn't. Can you hide? Just for a minute, right? Just until whatever it was maybe decided what it was chasing wasn't real or worth the effort. Just for a second. He knew it was loud, man. It felt like someone was sawing the inside of his skull too. There's a big tree coming up—I think there's a hole in it. Sit in it for a second. It was going to be gross, but Noah knew it was there, and he hoped it was safe. I'm driving to the woods. I can find where Aleksi came out or something. As for cold, Noah, who caught himself weaving over the center line in the road, tried for a second to tip some of his own warmth into Holly, to like, push it to him. But, he couldn't do that and drive, so he stopped. I don't miss you, because you're about to see me. Noah sounded like he believed it. Okay?

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Re: [Portal: Holly & Noah]

awry
2019-12-07 04:16 am UTC (link)

Holly hadn't considered that. I mean, he hadn't considered that here-him hadn't told Bea anything that was going on in the military, right? But it made sense. That guy seemed like he'd kept everything from his wife, which Holly thought was massively stupid. Okay, sure, he didn't actually have the ability to keep things from Noah, and, yeah, yeah, maybe he would've held stuff back to protect the guy, but he still wasn't big on big secrets. But then maybe here-Holly hadn't realized how dangerous the stuff he was working on was. But, yeah this-Holly? He absolutely knew. He knew this place had eaten something like three guys, and those guys hadn't even made it past the communications array. So there was something in here that could massively fuck his shit. He knew that. Noah knew that, too. Holly? Thought that if he just managed to keep Noah from coming in here somehow? It was a serious fucking win.

But that was momentarily overshadowed by his own fearfearnonotscaredfuck, because there was definitely something out here with him. He could feel it crunch dead leaves as it moved. You're leaving me down here if it means staying alive, asshole. But there wasn't even a lot of push or force behind that. It was distracted? Distracted because part of Holly was just insanely aware of the fact that he felt as if he was being pursued, chased... no, hunted. Above him, even miles away at the fucking facility? The men in the room, the ones who'd suited him up and shoved him in, they were on the ground like fucking cards, having taken each other out. But beyond the room was protected in all sorts of ways, so no one knew and no one else was affected. Luckily, his emotions only crossed dimensions for Noah, apparently.

Could he hide? He spun around. A tree. Treetree...tree...tree?...Tree. I mean, everything where he was was gross, but the tree Noah was referring to? Holly found it. It was bigger than the rest, partly hollowed out, as if someone had hidden there before. The entrance was covered in slime and vines of gunk, but Holly trusted Noah. He was fucking terrified, and his body was moving on autopilot, and he trusted the guy. So he dropped to his knees, trying to make as little sound as fucking possible, and he crammed himself into the disgusting hole in the tree's trunk. This particular tree had no way out, no hole that led back home... to Noah, homehomehomewannagethome. But Holly hugged his knees to his chest and made his bulk as small as he could. It was hard to breathe and his chest hurt ow, but he stayed still as something big moved around beyond his hiding place.

I said humor a guy.

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