Re: NYC: Hannah & Hugh
Hugh had for a long time thought that he was like his mother and his siblings like his father, and he had realized in more recent years that it was more complicated than that. "You mean completely different than me? I sometimes think about what it would have been like to do the thing that made my father happy, but the truth is, I don't think I'd be very good at it, so I can't imagine that I'd be anything but miserable doing it."
He tilted his head, and then the food arrived and he waited for the waiter to serve them both, Hannah her appetizers and he his shepherd's pie and when they had gone away, he nodded. "When I wrote it was every day and that was hard, but the actual words and descriptions were harder. I think that part wouldn't be as hard for you, and maybe you don't have to write on the same story every day, but me telling you that you should, doesn't mean you should. I do love the way you say things though."
It had been good, although it continued to be strangely difficult - not closing the door with some certainty on anything with Em, but realizing that any relationship he did in the future he didn't want mixed signals. At some point he realized he'd become very aware that he'd been treating himself as if he didn't deserve something better, and it was strange to be that self-aware. Strange also to not know if he completely believed it even now as he tried to make himself believe that it might be possible to exist for him. But he picked up his fork, leaving it hanging near the plate for a moment as he considered. "Work. I spent last week looking at auditions and noting times and locations in my calendar." He wasn't certain if that was what she meant or not, but it was the only thing he was clear about. "And having friends over more."
He looked back over at her, thinking about Jamie, but saying only, "tell me something," and she could choose.