Re: Si's trailer: Amy M/Si M
[Hannah wondered how much time they had left, and it wasn't that she wanted the timer to go off, but he hitched the inseam of his jeans in a way that immediately made Hannah's mind circle and circle and the drain was there, and she was about to head irrevocably down it and into some gutter of her own creation. But she still didn't move her leg, and her thigh kept bouncing against his, and her toes pushed and pushed and pushed at the back of his knee, testing with pressure and she didn't even know why. And she'd noticed. Those nights of their youth, and of course she had. And she'd convinced herself that he couldn't hear what she was doing under the sheets, not if she was quiet, not if her fingers didn't rustle the sheets much. And she'd convinced herself that he hadn't been able to feel how tightly she pressed her thighs together when fear brought her into his bed. And she still did it now, before, came in here and crawled into bed when a customer was frightening, and she didn't do well with violence or raised voices.
But going to the house, she knew it was something he'd fight her on. She knew, she knew, and she felt his breath tickle her fingers as she withdrew her hand.] I want to find somewhere safe to hide. Cold felt safe then, because it wasn't hot and sticky and home. Now, I just want safe and free. [And she turned her cheek to rub it against the fingers on her shoulder. But the comment about her wedding wasn't something she'd expected, and she hadn't known. No one had ever told her, but she wasn't surprised. Molly had been a little mother long before their own mother died, and she knew Molly would've thought it for the best so that the wedding wasn't ruined. But, Amy, she'd always wondered and wondered.] I always wondered if things would've gone differently if you'd come. I always wondered, and then we wouldn't be here, and life would've been different. [And it was a lot of weight, a lot to heap on him, but it was true, and she had wondered, and she was always honest with him.] Maybe you would've seen what I didn't see. [He hadn't been around for Marcus. Not for the engagement party, not for the months before the wedding, for none of it.] Everyone liked him so much. Dad liked him so much.