Re: Hannah S/Seven M
I don't think you look like an asshole for falling in love with her. I think there's something wrong in her head, and it's easy to blame ourselves for whatever's there, but it isn't ever really us. That doesn't make the hurt not ours, though, and sometimes it hurts a lot. Si says that a lot too, about how he isn't worth anything. It's not true, but I think he believes it.
Maybe you don't do either of those things entirely? Help her find work, help her find a place if she needs it, but maybe that's all? Your situation is really, really complicated, and you need to be able to look at your daughter in 10, 15 years, and be able to say you did what you could. But I don't think giving them everything is helpful. Once, before Si went into rehab, he asked me to drive him somewhere, and I did, and it was this gritty place. He owed his dealer money, and the guy wouldn't sell to him, and Si begged and begged me to go buy something for him. He said he needed to get well just once before going into rehab. I did it, and I haven't ever stopped feeling guilty for that. Enabling isn't the right thing, but I think you know that already.