InsaneJournal

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Michael Tristan Corner (mklcorner) wrote in rent_asunder,
@ 2008-03-15 16:55:00

Current mood:

worried

Who: Michael and Anthony
Where: Outside Room
When: Saturday Night
What: It has been two days since Michael wrote his journal entry and there has been no reply from Anthony. Michael is worried that maybe he scared Anthony by telling him he loved him or something like that. So he decides to go find Anthony and calm his nerves.
Rating: PG for now
Status: Ongoing

Michael had written his journal entry telling Anthony he loved him almost two days ago and he had not gotten any reply from him. At first he did not give it much thought but has one day turned to two and yet nothing, Michael got worried that maybe the reason that Anthony had not replied was because maybe he didn't love him or didn't care about him as much as he did. He had been tossing and turning all night as his negative thoughts were getting the best of him. He could not take it and decided that he had to go find Anthony and talk all this over.

He made his way from the kitchen where he had been making himself a sandwich for lunch. He decided to make one for Anthony too as this game him another reason to go see him. First Michael went to see if he was in his bedroom but did not find him. He then went to the one other place he knew he would be, the outside room. Michael knocked once and then made his way inside. His eyes then finally layed onto Anthony and his heart skipped a beat. He just stood there gazing at him for a moment before he mad his way over to him. His stomach was in knots as he looked down at his best mate in an unsure way. "Anthony. I have been looking for you." Was all he could say as he gazed at him.

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mklcorner
2008-03-15 10:08 pm UTC (link)

Michael saw Anthony all tucked into the corner, laying down and staring up at the stars like he was. He looked almost like he was in a daydream as he lay there. It was probably the result of him being there for so many hours but he looked like he was not all there or just lost in thought.

Finally Anthony realized he was there and pushed himself up on his elbows. At his request he nodded and layed down next to him. He layed on his side, propping himself up by his one arm, the other running over Anthony's face gently. "Have you read my journal entry yet? The one I wrote two days ago?" he asked him, his eyes showing how anxious and worried he was as he waited for his reply.

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wideawake
2008-03-15 10:26 pm UTC (link)

Bugger, that was right. Michael's journal entry. Anthony sighed softly as he leaned into Michael's hand for a moment before shifting closer, close enough to nuzzle softly against Michael's neck. "Yeah," he murmured, closing his eyes. "M'sorry. Meant to reply, but..." He shrugged one shoulder absently, sighing again. Thoughts had kept popping into his head, ones he couldn't push away, and he never got around to trying again.

"Do love you, though," Anthony said quietly.

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mklcorner
2008-03-16 08:14 pm UTC (link)

Michael's heart was beating quite fast at the moment because he could not help but be a bit unsure and worried about what Anthony thought of his journal. He hoped that Anthony had not reconsidered telling him he loved him a few nights back and that that was the reason he did not reply. He was hiding his anxious self by caressing Anthony's face.

Hearing him say he did love him made him feel a bit better but with the way he was saying it and how he was acting Michael knew he was hiding something. "That is a relief to hear you say that. When you didn't reply to my journal I..I thought that you decided you didn't love me." he murmured and sighed, feeling bad about thinking such a thing.

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	wideawake 2008-03-16 08:41 pm UTC (link)
	"'Course I do," Anthony whispered, nestling his head against Michael's shoulder. Of course he loved Michael. What wasn't to love? Honestly, Anthony didn't know how Michael and Terry could put up with him. He was such a bloody mess, all the bloody time. "'m sorry," he sighed. "Didn't mean to worry you." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

mklcorner
2008-03-16 09:27 pm UTC (link)

Michael sighed happily as he felt Anthony rest his head against his shoulder. He kissed to top of his head and held him closer to himself. Michael then shook his head when Anthony started apologizing. "No, you don't have to apologize. I just needed a little bit of a reassurance. But, I can't help but think that you have a lot on your mind. You are here but your head seems to be someplace else. Tell me what is wrong." He asked Anthony in a cautious yet, slightly concerned way. Michael ran his fingers threw his mates hair to try to relax him a a bit since he knew he loved when people did that to him.

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	wideawake 2008-03-16 09:42 pm UTC (link)
	How was he supposed to talk about something like this? He was ridiculous. That was it. Anthony shook his head and curled closer to Michael, wrapping an arm around him. He couldn't tell Michael what was wrong. He'd just think it was stupid, because it was, and Anthony didn't know why he felt this way. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

mklcorner
2008-03-16 09:58 pm UTC (link)

Michael needed his heart and mind to be put at ease and so he decided to lightly prod Anthony a bit more and see if he could get him to tell him what he was thinking. "I know it must be hard for you to tell me what is on your mind, but I promise you I won't think any less of you. Whatever it is. I have had my moments in the past and thought awful things. I am sure it isn't as horrible as anything I have had to deal with." He told him as he softly kissed the closest available piece of skin his lips could touch.

"I can just see that something is troubling you love. When something troubles you it troubles me." He added, massaging Anthony's scalp with his fingers even more.

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	wideawake 2008-03-16 10:11 pm UTC (link)
	"I just..." Anthony started brokenly, stopping when his chest hitched and tears burned at his eyes. God, what the hell was wrong with him? He tried to talk again, but his voice didn't seem to be working, so he just shook his head again and pressed tighter against Michael's side. He couldn't do it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

mklcorner
2008-03-16 10:19 pm UTC (link)

Michael was getting increasingly more worried about Anthony as he saw how hard it was for Anthony to even speak and how he could feel his lovers hot tears falling.

Michael knew that all the prodding in the world was not going to get Anthony to talk. Not now. Now when he was as emotional as he was now. Michael just pulled away just enough so he could see Anthony's face. He wiped Anthony's tears away with the pads of his thumbs and then gently kissed the rest of them away, hoping he would appreaciate the loving gesture. Michael's hands were wrapped tightly around Anthony, running up and down his back in a soothing manner. "I love you so much and whenever you are ready you can tell me what is troubling you. I want to help you. I want to make sure you are happy. It kills me to see you upset." he murmured , his breath ghosting over Anthony's skin.

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wideawake
2008-03-16 10:34 pm UTC (link)

"Why?" Anthony whispered, then shook his head again as he pressed a soft kiss to Michael's chin and nuzzled against his neck. "I mean... I know why, I just... God, what's wrong with me? I should fucking be happy. I have... I have you and I have Terry, but that's just it, I don't... How does this even fucking work?" Relationships were between two people, and all he could think was that one day, Terry and Michael would realize this, and he'd be the one to become a third wheel. Just that thought set him off, and his body shuddered as a harsh sob ripped out of his throat.

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mklcorner
2008-03-16 10:45 pm UTC (link)

Michael refrained himself from talking until he was sure Anthony was done speaking. He didn't want to interrupt him, as much as it was killing him to hear him so upset and emotional as he was. His heart was just breaking seeing him like this.

Michael was processing what he was saying and trying to understand where he was coming from. Once he had it figured out he was about to speak but Anthony's harsh sob broke out. His heart was definitely breaking now he could feel tears coming to his own eyes but he fought them back because he knew he had to be strong for him. "Please don't try love. Nothing is wrong with you. You do have the both of us and we love you so much. I can only speak for myself, but I love you with every fiber of my being. That will never change. I know this whole arrangement is a bit new to you. It is new to me too, but I love the both of you so very much that I can not choose between you two. I want to be with both of you. I love you both in different ways but I love the both of you equally. Some people may find this odd or strange but as long as the three of us are happy with it, that is all that matters. There will never ever be a day I fall out of love with you. I promise." He told him earnestly, kissing him softly and holding him close to his body.

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	wideawake 2008-03-16 11:04 pm UTC (link)
	That was it. That was it. That right there was what Anthony needed to hear. Relief flooded his body and he sagged against Michael, unable to stop his tears. "L-love you too, I do, I j-just... I got scared an', an' I don't... 'm sorry, 'm s-so sorry." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

mklcorner
2008-03-16 11:10 pm UTC (link)

He could feel Anthony release and his body sagged against his arms. It was as if what had been troubling him had left him and now he was able to breath properly. Michael couldn't help but press a loving kiss to his lovers lips. "I love you too and whenever you feel scared just come to either Terry or I and we will do our best to make you feel better. And please don't apologize to me. There is no need. You had worries that were troubling you. Nothing to feel bad about. We worked them all out didn't we?" Michael then kissed him again, but a bit deeper and longer this time.

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wideawake
2008-03-16 11:24 pm UTC (link)

Anthony nodded, leaning into the kiss and curling his fingers into Michael's hair. He shifted himself closer, tangling their legs together as he gently pulled out of the kiss and wrapped himself around Michael. "Jus' hold me a little," he requested quietly, tucking his head into the crook of Michael's neck, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath to calm himself down further.

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mklcorner
2008-03-16 11:29 pm UTC (link)

Michael let out a peaceful sigh when he felt Anthony's finger curling into his hair. He tangled his legs with Anthony's as well, his arms still around Anthony's body. "I wasn't about to let you go anyways, love." he whispered to Anthony as he kissed the top of Anthony's head. He just held him there in his arms as he lightly hummed a song to himself. To have Anthony in his arms made his heart flutter in delight. Just holding Anthony sent his heart fluttering. It had been too long since he had felt so in love like this.

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	wideawake 2008-03-16 11:49 pm UTC (link)
	Anthony relaxed even more when Michael started humming, stroking his fingers softly against the side of Michael's neck. "Thanks, Michael," he whispered. "Love you so much, really do." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

mklcorner
2008-03-16 11:55 pm UTC (link)

"Anytime love." he whispered back his eyes fluttering shut as Anthony's fingers stroked the soft skin on his neck. "As long as I have your love I am happy. I feel lucky to have you, you know. The both of you." Michael told him , a warm smile showing on his face. He then glanced up at the stars in the sky. "It is so peaceful here looking up at the stars." He said in an off hand way as he gazed at the twinkling stars up above the both of them.

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