Refried Scenes

Sagramore was out of Camelot when Gareth, Gaheris, and Agravain were married--not least because he's still resenting Mordred's wife, nor yet because Gwytha has finally left him. On the other hand, he's still young and fine-looking, and he has no shortage of lovers. So while he's gone for a while, he eventually comes back, making the trip across from Cornwall.

He rides back in about midday and swings off his horse in the courtyard, raking a hand through slightly-damp hair and peering up at the castle windows. The horse he stables quickly, then spends a few moments wrestling about the in the fine straw with the dogs, sending up a cloud of golden dust motes. When he finally starts up the stairs towards his old lodgings in the castle, he's got straw sticking out of his hair, errant tooth-marks on his skin, and the sleepy, handsome grin of someone who's had a good day.

Eastertide dawns in an array of sunrise colours patterned against the clouds, and Ragnelle is up early, watching out the window in her white shift. The day promises to be hot, and it has her blood humming in her veins.

The important thing to-day is to be mindful of herself, to remember that she's to tell Kay when her body wants to go home, and not to hide it from him. She curls her fingers on the sill, and closes her eyes to steady herself. He'll hear and understand. He's promised her that.

And it is, never mind the hum, a beautiful morning.

When she came downstairs the next morning with her arm in Kay's, the stares were like treasures, all for her and her change and her life back in her own hands. And it didn't stop her from planning to leave; she stayed discreet and checked the stables and kept her eye on the woods, and loved Kay fiercely at night but left him to his own devices during the day, while she pursued her own.

Which was all very well, to begin with. But two weeks pass, and she's still making excuses for herself, still finding reasons to stay another day or two, or at least wait for a little while.

And then Arthur organises his stupid tournament. It's a spring day, a good day for something outside, and most of the knights are back from the border, or quests, or whatever stupid things knights do. Everyone will be out at that; Kay's been busy, she knows, with fixing things for a luncheon on the grounds instead of in the feast hall. If there were ever a time to slip away it's now.

So despite the nausea sweeping over her she dresses in her plainest gown and plaits her hair up, and heads out to the stable to steal one of the King's horses.

She comes into Camelot seated on the back of Arthur's horse, wearing a veil over what hair she has and her wrinkled face. When he stops at the stables he calls a woman to help her into the castle and into less travel-stained clothes.

In her heart Ragnelle tries not to be delighted at the prospect of the first new clothes she's had in ten years, especially since it's only going to be whatever they can manage to fit onto her twisted body. It won't be anything special. But she still grins snaggletoothed at the maid who helps her dress, ignoring the cracks her body makes, like iced branches snapping in the wind.

After that she's led to an ante-room where she can hear Arthur speaking through the door.

"This woman helped me to save our kingdom. I would have lost without her help. But I made her a vow that in exchange for her service I should help her to find a husband. I want--I want to assure you all that no man need make this marriage for my sake."

Some man in the crowd shouts, "Heaven, my lord, is she so terrible?" and she hears the pause as Arthur searches for an answer.

It doesn't matter to her. All she wants is someone who'll get this over with, who'll marry her and lift the curse and let her go back to her forest. She doesn't care who answers. So she presses forward and opens the door herself, to the sound of the collective silence of fifty men who don't want to admit that they've just had their stomachs turned. She'd thought it wouldn't bother her--after all, what are men to her? but the trees and the forest never minded what she looked like, and she fists her crumpled hands in her new skirt.

Arthur clears his throat. "Will any among you take her to wife?"

He comes to Orkney with Mordred, who's only come because he has to--a message to his mother from Arthur, and Gawain accompanies them because he has duties. Sagramore listens quietly to Mordred's complaints during the journey, takes note of the change in his mannerisms, and is convinced, more than ever, that the best way to get through this week is to get Mordred out of the castle as often as possible, and keep him as far as can be managed from Morgause.

That evening they're put up in separate rooms, after a brief meeting with the lady herself, and Sagramore waits a good half hour before venturing out in the dark to try to find Mordred's room. When he comes to the door he knocks lightly and then lets himself in, leaning against the wall with a little sigh of relief.

"Here I am."