drachenmina (drachenmina) wrote in red_day_love, @ 2008-06-27 12:43:00 |
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Current mood: | pleased |
Less Haste, More Sloth
Title: Less Haste, More Sloth
Author: drachenmina
Word Count: 4,000
Rating: PG
Characters: Remus Lupin/Severus Snape,
Genre: Romance, humour
Summary: Severus Snape just wanted two things: to become an Animagus, and to settle down with the werewolf of his dreams. He really hadn’t envisioned mortal peril and being indebted to a sloth.
Warnings: Daftness and, erm, a giant spider
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoat Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
And the sloth, not to mention most of the plot, belongs to the wonderfully inspiring blpaintchart. And she even beta’d it too! *applauds*
AN: For red_day_dawning *hugs*. AU
Severus scowled across the breakfast table. Lupin had brought his bloody pet sloth into the Great Hall again and, not content with allowing the no doubt flea-ridden creature to slouch around amidst the cornflakes, was affectionately feeding it toast.
“I thought you were planning to return that ridiculous creature to the wild, Lupin,” he sneered. “Indeed, I had entertained the hope that you might be planning to remain there yourself.”
Lupin smiled fondly at the improbably long-clawed beast. “Oh, I decided to keep him instead. He makes an excellent pet, you know. After all, he’s hardly likely to go rampaging around the castle!”
Severus snorted. “I should think not, Lupin. I’ve seen glaciers that moved faster than that overfed waste of fur!”
Lupin looked hurt, and cursing himself for somehow putting his foot in it again, Severus stomped off to the dungeons. What was wrong with the wolf, anyway? A little witty banter and all of a sudden, he went into a sulk. Didn’t he realise Severus was only joking?
Severus had been trying to get closer to his colleague for months now, ever since things had settled down once Potter had finally killed the Dark Lord properly this time. But it seemed to be a case of one step forward, two steps back. Just when they seemed to be getting along, out of the blue Lupin would overreact to some bon mot of Severus’ and they’d end up barely speaking again. Severus couldn’t understand it.
To distract himself from his romantic woes, he decided to have another crack at the Animagus transformation. He’d been trying to achieve it for even longer than he’d been trying to get into Lupin’s worn-out robes, and in his darker moments he’d begun to suspect that both eventualities were equally unlikely. But last night he’d seemed so close. It was Saturday: there were no classes, and Severus felt little enthusiasm for planning the lessons for the final week of term. Gathering his concentration, he began the complex ritual that was supposed to produce the first transformation into his Animagus form. Once or twice, thoughts of Lupin and his dratted sloth intervened, but Severus pushed those firmly aside, and it was with a giddy sense of exaltation that he felt his body change.
He’d done it! He’d really done it! He, Severus Snape, was an animagus! Up yours, Potter senior, he thought jubilantly. And you too, dog-breath!
Now to find out what he was. He was small - which was disappointing - furry, and had hands, rather than paws. Some kind of monkey? Moving slowly and deliberately, Severus made his way to the full-length mirror in his room which he normally used to check his robes were billowing correctly. He was met with a horrifying sight. He was not only small and furry, he was wide-eyed, stubby-tailed and button-nosed, and although Severus had mercifully little experience with the concept, he had an awful suspicion he was cute.
This was a disaster. If any of the students found out that this was his animagus form, he’d be a laughing-stock! The girls might want to pet him! Severus shuddered at the very thought. No, he’d have to come up with an alternative explanation for the presence of a small furry creature in his quarters, should he be spotted in this form. Once again, a vision of Lupin and his dratted sloth flickered through Severus’ mind. Yes! He would simply say that he had bought a pet. In fact, he would announce that he intended to get one now, before anyone had a chance to see him and jump to any correct conclusions.
First, however, he would have to find out exactly what he was. He glanced automatically at his bookshelves, but knew already that he had nothing on matters cute and furry. He would have to seek his knowledge elsewhere.