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[04 Dec 2009|01:53am] |
So on Tuesday (I think?) I posted Chapter 8 of the Founders fic on Tamarind Chutney (LJ), FanFiction.Net, the Archive of Our Own, and Skyhawke.
I think this was the last chapter I posted before I stopped posting/writing it for a while and then decided to revise years later, although I didn't stop writing it for a while, I don't think. The chapters I've written since are better, I think, and in the final revision, once I've completed the fic, I expect to remove at least a chapter's worth of material.
Anyway, that plus this chapter -- which is mostly about the characters' pasts and what went wrong and what, miraculously, didn't -- made me think about where I was when I started writing this fic. I came up with the characters (roughly) in middle school, actually, although they've changed drastically since then, and thematically it's really such a high-school-me story. It's full of insecurity and ego, and ego covering up insecurity, and in some cases insecurity covering up ego. Body issues and self-loathing are a big deal -- which perplexes me a bit, since I didn't notice that until I dealt with my own Fat Shame -- and the six main characters are (each in their own way) clinging frantically to academic interests because the world around them is so incredibly hostile and they want to be in a place where people aren't like that. And I'm really glad that I'm no longer in the severe Godricky stages of self-loathing, because that stuff is exhausting to deal with, and more interesting to write now that I'm not quite in the middle of it.
And now for some music:
"The Mountain," Dave Carter and Tracy Grammer
I was born in a forked-tongued story / Raised up by merchants and drugstore liars. / Now I walk on the paths of glory / One foot in ice, one in fire.
This is for Godric, and his "wait, how did I even get here? I started way over there!" moments. Sometimes you just do things and stuff happens, and suddenly people think you're, like, a real person with a brain or something.
"Compute," Soulwax
Every time this happens, / Some representative of instinct / Slips you his business card and leaves you / To figure out what it means.
This is for Helga, who, in this chapter, has spotted a hole in her assumptions about her and her friends' lives, and is having trouble not picking at it, even though it itches like crazy.
"The Return to Oz," Scissors Sisters
Please help me, friend, from coming down / I've lost my place and now it can't be found. / Is this the return to Oz? / The grass is dead, the gold is brown and the sky has claws.
I think of this as a Salazar song, but it could really apply to a lot of the characters, especially in this chapter, which is about being an adult and remembering being a kid, and wondering what even happened back then, anyway, because the way you remember it is almost certainly not how it was.
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| (I need a better angry icon) |
[30 Nov 2009|04:40pm] |
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CSI: Crime Scene Investigation |
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People do not teach their children boundaries these days. For example, by the time I seven or eight I knew not to go crawl up in the bushes in front my neighbor's house, peek into the window, and make scratching noises and hiss at the cat in the window. The little shits in my neighborhood, however, can't seem to grasp the concept that doing that is wrong. I'd go out there and give the little bastards a piece of my mind if I wasn't sick and in my pj's.
I guess I shouldn't have expected manners from the brats considering how, a year or so ago, they thought it would be fun to randomly open the front door and let the cats outside. It was unlocked because it was daylight and my dad and I were both home. That, of course, does not happen anymore; the front door is locked and/or barred at all times now. As it should be, honestly.
Maybe it's because the kids on the cul-de-sac I live in are mostly boys. (There are a few girls and I haven't had any problems with them.) I don't know. I do know that if it happens again, I'm going to scare the crap out of 'em. And if their parents say anything to me, well, I'll just tell them they should teach their kids not to peep into other people's windows.
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| On Family and Other Sour Spots |
[30 Nov 2009|12:40pm] |
I hate family holidays. It's not as bad as it used to be. There isn't a mind numbing soul obliterating anxiety about them anymore as there used to be. There's just a dull ache of worry and some slight stomach tremors. Really the worst bit was that I thought I'd probably never have to go to a shin dig like this again. I would go one day, I just would never have to.
I didn't want to talk about where I'd been what I'd been doing and how I was. I'm better but not so well that I can always talk about Zac or Wyoming or what was a fairy tale life that while childish and unsustainable was also beautiful. I just can't talk about it especially with people who don't get it and no one in my family gets it.
Instead I gave short answers and listened to long unending diatribes of how awesome everyone else is. I was glad they were well but I could have done without the jabs at where they were compared to me. I sincerely hope I never did that to them or anyone else, though my successes are so few and far between, I'm sure I've had little opportunity to knock some else further down that way.
In particular my cousin, who works at Fenway went on and on about how boring but glamorous her job was, how much she hated living at home (though she does nothing there but sleep and hang out), and how wonderful her parties and nights out were. I wanted her to be successful. I was prepared to hear about her success and joy so it didn't even sting that much when she kept slighting me and where I was or discarding some of the work I have to do like chores and house upkeep and whatnot.
What did sting was to find out later that her job at Fenway pays $9/hr she works no more than 30hrs a week and she doesn't get benefits. She'd sat there and scorned my retail work as less and demeaning when we make the same hourly rate, I work full time and my job gives me benefits. I don't have an hours commute by public transportation to pay for or anything.
In other more pleasant news my bro got a letter from Mass Maritime and we think it might be his acceptance *hopefully*. I've got to wait for him to come home and open it but I'm super hopeful for him. It's very exciting.
Also, they've finally corrected the comp and literacy portions of the mtels, I should finally have results and hopefully a license on the 9th. Maybe I've be able to pick up some second term work or start vigorously looking for the fall. I'm apprehensive and excited. I don't know what I'll do if this doesn't work and my parents feel strongly I'll need several other back up plans that I'm not sure how to approach but I'll have to figure something out soon I guess.
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| Life with the Murderfaces 5: All Is Not Well |
[27 Nov 2009|10:37pm] |
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PG-13 The truth comes out. Warnings: Mentions of incest and non-consensual sex.
<< Part 4: Moving Day | Part 6 >>
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| ctba. |
[27 Nov 2009|12:39am] |
I'm sorry but I'm not going to watch the Clone Wars TV Series until I've seen the Clone Wars movie. I prefer to let George Lucas disappoint me in the order he intended..
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[26 Nov 2009|06:44pm] |
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X-Men: Evoltuion |
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Happy Thanksgiving!
(To those of you who celebrate it, that is.)
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[26 Nov 2009|11:58am] |
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D: D: D:
...Look, Captain Jack Harkness, intergalactic manwhore, has done some pretty awful things in his long life.
BUT SINCE WHEN DOES HE RAPE PEOPLE?
Is there some part of relevant Whoniverse canon that I am totally missing? If so, could someone please tell me what it is, so that I can KEEP MISSING IT?
(I mean, aside from that thing with Owen in the first episode of Torchwood. That scene is made of ick. And if you agree, don't google for discussion on it, because half the forum threads are full of guys going "lol, that was funny, you guys are taking it too seriously, I wish I had that stuff." I guess this is the Axe/Lynx demographic.)
...Okay, skimming the fic, the author seems to have gotten the Time Agency mixed up with the Rape Agency, and Jack ("Seth") has had some kind of horrible personality transplant and should be on every Sexual Offenders list ever. 0_o Never mind. I did see the Rape/Non-Con warning, but I saw that it was a Big Bang fic (and therefore long) and assumed it had something to do with the plot/character arc.
And that was depressing, so I leave you with this cheering fanart.
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[24 Nov 2009|10:19pm] |
I'm suffering from a sudden bout of freedom XD The possibilities! Aha! Hasn't really hit me yet, but I'm planning to really sink my teeth into my santas_lap fic this week, and then the Draco Big Bang, which is my December project. 20k of Draco-centric fic? Yes please! Bet you'll never guess my pairing of choice *rolls eyes*
I'm so predictable. But it's been a long time since I've actually written some decent Lucius/Draco, and I'm feeling the urge. Actually, I'm feeling the urge to just write in general. And to crash out on the grass with a bottle of water and read books until my eyes go funny - because that's just what summer is about. Well, that, camping, and cycling down by the harbour.
On another note, how much do I love True Blood? Gah. Violent and raunchy and full of non-sparkly vampires. The books the show is based on are pretty epic too - I read Dead Until Dark today, and I'm going back to the bookstore tomorrow to get the next two (I have vouchers, so yay, non-guilt-inducing book splurge! Although my guilt is negligable, even when I'm meant to be buying food - priorities are funny things.)
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[22 Nov 2009|10:31pm] |
So last week I posted about the Archive Of Our Own, which if you missed it is being called AO3 because AOOO sounds like a basset hound. But I didn't really post as a reader. It didn't occur to me because I had just spent several days uploading all of my fanfiction there. (Well, that I still like. I actually do have two Greek mythology fics that I haven't posted there, but the second one is a sequel to the first, which was written in high school and has some gender issues I'm really not proud of.)
Anyway, after all that posting, I had kind of expected people to read my fic, but I hadn't actually gotten around to reading their fic.
And omg you guys, AO3 is great for fic-reading. At least for me.
( AO3 as a reader. )
Anyway. Having said all that, Chapter Seven of Between Here and Now and Forever is posted on:
The Archive Of Our Own
FanFiction.Net
Skyhawke
LiveJournal
In honor of this, ( more YouTube music links! )
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| Six Impossible Things (Seth’s Morning List Remix) [The O.C., Seth/Ryan, 100 Words, PG-13] |
[22 Nov 2009|02:31am] |
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 *shuffle shuffle* |
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1. Only sesame seed bagels left, and no cream cheese. My life, ladies and gentlemen.
2. Ate a bowl of Oreos for breakfast.
3. There’s a coffee ring stain on my X-men. I know I accidentally burned down Dad’s office, but a man’s comics are sacred.
4. Ryan kissed me to shut me up. Twice. (!!!)
5. Did a Samuel L. Jackson impression under my breath. Was sharing my bucket of popcorn, extra butter, with Ryan, when our shoulders bumped together. It was nice; not Summer-in-a-Wonder-Woman-outfit nice, but getting there.
6. Make out Share kisses with Ryan at the poolhouse.
Remix of ![[info - livejournal.com]](http://s.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif) theswearingkind's Sam Jackson Ain't Got Nothing on These Two (f-locked) for remixthedrabble. I haven't actually watched the episode on which #3 is based. One day I'll probably finish watching the O.C. Maybe. If only for more of Seth Cohen's wordvomit.
[ LJ | IJ | DW ]
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