vamphile (![[info]](http://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} vamphile) wrote in ![[info]](http://www.insanejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} qaf_drabbles,@ 2008-01-11 18:49:00 |
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| Entry tags: | author: vamphile, epic series: hustler!j/whore in a hoody, outside of challenge |
Whore In A Hoody
Title: Hustler!Justin LVII (Whore in a Hoody)
Author: Vamphile
Condoms: None
|Hustler!Justin | II | III | IV| V | VI | VII | VIII | IX | X | XI | XII | XIII | XIV | XV | XVI | XVII | XVIII | XIX | XX | XXI | XXII | XXIII | XXIV | XXV | XXVI | XXVII | XXVIII | XXIX | XXX | XXXI | XXXII | XXXIII | XXXIV | XXXV | XXXVI | XXXVII | XXXVIII | XXXIX | XL | XLI | XLII | XLIII | XLIV | XLV | XLVI | XLVII | XLVIII | XLIX | L | LI | LII | LIII | LIV | LV | LVI |
Hustler Justin LVII
Whore In A Hoody
His mouth is warm on my palm. His thumb has moved from my cheek to my lips. I suck it into my mouth and he pulls away. “Justin.”
He’s not angry. I can’t tell exactly what he’s feeling. I reach my hand out for him again but before he can respond Debbie’s knocked while pushing open the door. “You two coming down to eat?”
He nods and turns his back to me, following Debbie downstairs. I close my eyes and wipe back the tears. I think that I need to move more slowly with Brian, but I’m not giving up.
~~~667~~~
Debbie catches me glancing again at the staircase. “You really care about this kid.”
I give her a look that shuts most people up. Debbie’s not most people. She nods. “He loves you, you know.”
“He doesn’t know what the fuck he feels.”
She kisses my cheek and pats my face. “That’s you. He’s young but I’ve seen it before. Hero worship.”
“Except I’m not a fucking hero.”
“I agree, but Michael and Justin, they don’t.”
“Michael’s moved on. Justin will move on too.”
She laughs. “He might, but you might want to admit that you don’t want him to.”
~~~668~~~
Dinner is a much quieter affair tonight. Vic and Debbie argue and talk and finish each other’s sentences all through the puttanesca. Brian actually smiles and laughs with them both. Michael stops by, as we’re finishing and joins us for dessert. Throughout the meal I want to drag Brian upstairs and have him to myself. By seven thirty he and Michael are making plans to meet at Woody's for a beer later. I want to join them but Debbie cuts me off with a look. “No way sunshine, it’s your first day out of the hospital, you need your rest.”
~~~669~~~
I almost argue with Debbie. After all, he wasn’t in the hospital for a medical condition but then I remember that all this mothering is why I thought she’d be good for him. I smirk and he pouts. I kiss his temple and Deb's cheek and then head back to the loft. I’ve got some work to do before I go to Woody's and I need to figure out how to tell Justin about the appointments next week. I’ll figure it out tomorrow, after we celebrate his birthday. I doubt it’s something Isaac celebrated with him. I hate that man.
~~~670~~~
I offer to help with the dishes but Debbie tells me to rest. She yells not to get used to it when I’m halfway up the stairs. I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to how loud she is. I remember my mother being quiet but then I don’t remember much before she got sick. Isaac hated a lot of noise. He wore he headphones usually, said he didn’t like to hear me with clients. He was disappointed when I was too loud. Debbie and Michael are laughing while they do the dishes. I don’t really miss the quiet.
~~~671~~~
Michael and I are shooting pool. He’s staring at me. I sink my ball and wait.
“What’s up with you and Justin?”
“We’ve been over this.”
“Not recently.”
“He’s a kid who needed a hand.” I shrug and circle the table lining up my next shot.
“Since when do you reach out to help a street punk?”
Michael misses his shot and watches me intently. I kiss him and drink my beer. “You lost. Now pay me the twenty bucks you owe me or rack ‘em again, we’ll go double or nothing.”
He rolls his eyes, but he shuts up.
~~~672~~~
I consider finding Woody's on my own. I’ve been there before but I think it’ll piss Brian off more than anything and I just promised myself I’d move slower. Instead I turn on my computer and check the email account Brian created for me. There are some sites that Peter said I should look at. There are some sites I want to see if I can find on my own. When I find them I feel vindicated. Brian and Peter keep acting like what Isaac did was such a horrible thing… so why are there entire sites dedicated to it?
~~~673~~~
By the time I get back from Babylon it’s almost three. I show up at Debbie's at one the next day still hung over. Justin greets me with a hug and an even bigger one when he sees the large wrapped box. “Can I open it?”
Debbie shoos us both away from the door. “Vic’s still working on the cake, go sit down.”
“Debbie I don’t need…”
Debbie waves a wooden spoon at me. “Tell him he’s getting a birthday party, if he wants one or not.”
I steer Justin to the living room and pour us each a drink.
~~~674~~~
“You look like shit.”
He nods, two fingers against his temple. His eyes closed.
“Aspirin?”
He nods again and then winces as someone drops something in the kitchen. I come back taking the drink out of his hand. “You shouldn’t drink more alcohol, you feel like this because you’re dehydrated.”
“Thank you Doogie Howser.”
“I don’t know who that is. I’m just saying that Isaac taught me how to deal with a hangover, lots of water and…” he’s glaring.
“His hangovers or yours?”
“Whichever.” I run a hand through his hair. “Why does that upset you?”
He shakes his head.
~~~675~~~
“You’ve got appointments all next week by the way. You’re meeting with a tutor to get ready for the GED and a doctor for a regular physical, and a psychiatrist because Peter thinks you need your meds adjusted.”
I don’t know why I blurt it out like that. He pulls away from me. “What?”
I don’t respond but I do reach for my drink. He hands it to me, no longer concerned with my hangover.
“When were you going to tell me?”
“I just did.”
“But you’ve had these set up for a while?”
I nod. He storms out. Fuck.
~~~676~~~
I brush past Melanie and Lindsay on my way out of the gate. I’m not sure where I’m going but as I turn to cross the street a hand stops me. “Didn’t your mother ever teach you to cross on the green?”
I’m crying, sucking in big gulps of air and Michael’s hand is on my shoulder. “Hey, you okay? Want me to get Ma, or Brian?”
I shake my head. He walks me back to the house. Halfway there we run into Brian who wraps an arm around me, kisses Michael hello and whispers into my ear. “I’m sorry.”
~~~677~~~
Michael gives me a questioning look and I shoot him one back that says, “Fuck off.”
When we get inside Mel and Lindz are wishing him a happy birthday and he’s gone. His eyes are vacant and he can’t feel anything. I wanted him to be here for this, and I fucked it up. I wonder if it’s safe to call him back. I have to try. I pull him away from the fawning lesbians. In the backyard I take his face in my hands. “Justin.”
Nothing.
“Justin!”
He blinks and then frowns. “Let me go.”
“No.”
“I can’t…”
“Please.”
~~~678~~~
I don’t know why it matters to him if I’m here or not. I do know it matters to me. “I can’t, Brian, please just let me go, just while everyone’s here.”
“Peter says…”
I roll my eyes. He tries again.
“You’re safe, everyone in there likes you.”
That’s the problem. I have no way to explain that to him. I don’t know the words. “Give me a cigarette.”
He does and lights one of his own. “You can stay close to me the whole time.”
So for him, I nod and promise I’ll try. We head back inside together.
~~~679~~~
He’s overwhelmed. He cringes at every loud noise and he looks like he’s trying not to cry with every gesture of kindness, and there are a lot of them. Mel and Lindz bought him an art box. Lindsay promises to show him how to use the tools he’s unfamiliar with. He nods and I almost wish he’d disappeared, the submissive, not sure how to act thing is disconcerting to watch when I know where it comes from. Emmett and Ted bought him clothes, which I hope he’ll never wear in public. He looks disappointed by my gift, but he smiles.
~~~680~~~
When everyone’s gone I sink into the sofa, exhausted. It’s only five but I feel like it’s midnight. Brian carries the TV upstairs, calling to me to follow him with the DVD player. I do, because I don’t want to argue with him. I don’t need a television in my bedroom. He unpacks the box and there’s something else in there with it. “What’s that?”
“Porn.”
I blink. “What?”
“You want to figure out what you like and don’t like right? Well, here you go, jerk off material that most eighteen year old boys, well, gay boys, would kill for.”
~~~681~~~
He sits on the bed, turning the DVD case over in his hand. “Are you going to watch it with me?”
“No.”
“Please.”
He looks at me with what seems like an innocent expression but I’m pretty sure he’s playing me. I kiss his nose. “Nice try. No. This is one thing every man needs to learn on his own.”
“Will… I mean, what happens… what…”
He’s really scared. “Justin, I swear to you that no one will punish you for this.”
“But Debbie…”
“She raised Michael. I think she’s used to it.”
“She knows!”
“Justin, everybody knows. It’s normal.”
~~~682~~~
He sits on the desk chair across from me and I can’t help looking at the boxes. “Is everything these men are doing normal?”
He takes one of the boxes out of my hand. “That’s not… well, it is, but it takes practice.”
I look down. “I’ve done that.”
He stares at me and then points to the picture. “That?”
“Yeah, hurts.”
“I would think so.”
“But if it’s normal and natural… so, this whole Isaac thing…”
“No. Justin, everyone here is a consenting adult. That’s not what Isaac did to you.”
“But this is.”
He looks a little green.
Cont...